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Woman Annoyed With Guy In Class Asking Irrelevant Questions About Her Presentations Shuts Him Down, Is Expected To Apologize
If you’ve watched The Big Bang Theory, then your favorite character is probably Sheldon (at least he’s the only one to get a spin-off of his own). Brilliant, cynical, snarky and sarcastic – Sheldon is incredibly cool and everyone likes people like that, except perhaps in one case… when such a dude turns against you.
So please enjoy this story, originally told by the user u/Huge-Still-5737 on the AITA Reddit community, and let’s be a little selfishly glad together that the post author had to deal with this nasty classmate and not us, because it’s always so difficult.
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The author of the post is a student, and she recently did an academic presentation at her college
Image credits: Kars Alfrink (not the actual photo)
One of the author’s classmates chose her as a target for his provocative and mainly inappropriate questions
Image credits: Huge-Still-5737
Image credits: Christina Morillo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Huge-Still-5737
This student had been criticizing and attacking other people without reason for several years
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Huge-Still-5737
The girl ended up refusing to answer his questions, but the professor asked her to apologize for this soon after
So, the Original Poster (OP) reveals that she recently participated in a group presentation as a part of her end-of-year assignment in college and, not least, spoke publicly for the first time in her life. The presentation format provided for 15 minutes of the report, and the same amount of time for a question session afterwards. Pretty standard system for academic presentations.
And everything, as the author of the post recalls, went perfectly, if not for one of her classmates, who during all their years of joint study exposed a dark side to himself. A smart and well-read guy, but at the same time loves to criticize others – both teachers and students, and someone “who likes to be the devil’s advocate for things that shouldn’t have a devil’s advocate”, as the OP aptly notes. And this time, the student chose the author of the post as a target for his attacks…
When it came time to ask questions, he began to pester her with various remarks that were only remotely related to the topic of the presentation – apparently only to embarrass her and show off. It got to the point, the girl recalls, that even the guy’s best friend elbowed him in an attempt to shut him up. But the “critic” had already gotten a taste and did not let up.
The OP herself finished everything – she firmly stated that since the questions of this student did not directly relate to the topic of her report, she was not going to answer them at all. A few minutes later, and a few substantive questions from other listeners, the presentation ended successfully. But this story didn’t end. Outraged by the way he was put in his place, the guy ran to complain to the professor, and he, in a personal conversation, let the OP know he was expecting her apology to the fellow student.
The author texted that guy, diplomatically indicating she did not mean to offend him in any way, but was simply upset by his attacks out of the blue. He sharply replied that she should not have behaved like that – and blocked the girl, leaving her even more upset. Perhaps all this happened because, the OP believes, both the professor and all the other three members of her team were men, and the guy simply chose an ‘easier’, in his own opinion, victim for criticism. Whatever the case, the OP wondered if she was doing the right thing in this situation at all.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
“Of course, it’s very frustrating when you’re subjected to unreasonable criticism during your presentation, especially if you’re speaking in public for the first time,” says Olga Kopylova, Ph.D., associate professor of economics at Odessa National Maritime University with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment about this case. “Even a very experienced speaker in such a situation can get confused and could lose the thread of their report. Then what can we say about students?”
“Such a category of students sometimes occurs when an erudite person uses their wide knowledge and polemical skills not for good, but rather the opposite. In such cases, you should politely but adamantly point out that the questions your interlocutor is asking are not relevant to the essence of the matter, and call for a constructive discussion. Strictly speaking, it was almost everything that the heroine of this story did. Except that it was probably not worth refusing to answer his questions at all… but well, it happened as it happened…” Olga states.
As for the commenters on this story, people massively sided with the original poster, finding her fellow student’s behavior completely outrageous and inappropriate. Moreover, he had more than once allowed himself such antics with different people. And commenters believe that the professor was also wrong in forcing the girl to apologize, and urged her not to leave the situation like this. “Skip the professor and go straight to administration. This behavior is abhorrent,” someone wrote in the comments.
We don’t know if you have encountered this category of people during your studies, but if so, we would be very interested to know how you or someone you know managed to cope with the situation. Perhaps this experience will be useful for other readers – after all, similar cases, alas, are not that uncommon. So please feel free to share your own tales in the comments below.
However, people in the comments unanimously decided the girl did everything right, and even urged her to go straight to the administration
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What do you think ?
Christopher Denney 1 year ago
Tolerance is not a moral absolute; it is a non-aggression pact. Once the other party steps over the line, it is no longer your responsibility to keep the peace.
MR 1 year ago
If you're a professor and you have a student who keeps going off topic so consistently while taking up most of the time, that's on you to deal with. Either do it in the moment or after class. A simple, "let's keep questions on topic, please" is all that's needed. The professor failed his students. There were better ways to handle the moment, but the failure of the professor to step in outweighs that. The professor can not talk about creating a safe space without it being a safe space for all.
George D 1 year ago
If this person was embarrassed by her retort then it was in all likelihood a dumb question that was preceded by previously similarly dumb questions, and he got called out on it. It's telling that he wouldn't ask the 3 males any questions. With that said, the real problem is the professor. He should have caught wind that this person was singling out the girl and said to him, "Ok, your next questions will be directed at the other 3 on the panel to get some other perspectives." I GUARANTEE you he would have not presented any more questions for the remainder of the session. This smacks of someone who feels superior to her because she's female but to the other 3 males who are on equal footing, he's a coward. (Or, he just likes her and this is his awkward way of getting her attention, lol!!)
Christopher Denney 1 year ago
Tolerance is not a moral absolute; it is a non-aggression pact. Once the other party steps over the line, it is no longer your responsibility to keep the peace.
MR 1 year ago
If you're a professor and you have a student who keeps going off topic so consistently while taking up most of the time, that's on you to deal with. Either do it in the moment or after class. A simple, "let's keep questions on topic, please" is all that's needed. The professor failed his students. There were better ways to handle the moment, but the failure of the professor to step in outweighs that. The professor can not talk about creating a safe space without it being a safe space for all.
George D 1 year ago
If this person was embarrassed by her retort then it was in all likelihood a dumb question that was preceded by previously similarly dumb questions, and he got called out on it. It's telling that he wouldn't ask the 3 males any questions. With that said, the real problem is the professor. He should have caught wind that this person was singling out the girl and said to him, "Ok, your next questions will be directed at the other 3 on the panel to get some other perspectives." I GUARANTEE you he would have not presented any more questions for the remainder of the session. This smacks of someone who feels superior to her because she's female but to the other 3 males who are on equal footing, he's a coward. (Or, he just likes her and this is his awkward way of getting her attention, lol!!)
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