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30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done The pipe underneath my sink was broken so I put a bucket below it to catch the water leaking out. When it was full I poured it back in the sink...and proceeded to flood my kitchen.

MEG4NTRON , Majjie Report

Final score:

287points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago (edited)

Reminds me of a post I saw a while ago, someone was making a broth and poured the broth down the sink instead of just straining it. Edit: hahaha it's actually a post on this one, just go down

60points

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Stopped at a stop sign and waited at least a minute and a half for it to turn green.

anon , Martin Péchy Report

Final score:

253points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

After a minute and a half it turned?????

59points

Prof. Maria Natasha Rajah explained that the moment our brain seems to shut down for a sec is actually a lapse in attention and/or absentmindedness at play.

“When we engage in planned motor behaviors we usually need to sustain our attention and also utilize cognitive control and executive functions that help us to prepare and behave in a strategic, organized manner,” she told Bored Panda.

“These functions are associated with the intact functioning of the frontal-thalamic-parietal system. However, when we are tired or distracted our attention can lapse and there is a resulting disorganization in the execution of a planned behavior.”

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I used to work for Comcast in their call center. I worked 3PM-12AM so the only thing that was open when I would get off work was McDonalds.

During the holidays they have unlimited overtime. Me being 19 and having no obligations at the time decided to just work non-stop until I fell down at my desk. I worked 3 days straight of OT taking my mandatory breaks every couple of hours and napping in the lunch room here and there.

Finally I decided I'd had enough and started on my way home at around 2AM one morning. I stopped at the McDonalds drivethrough because I wanted something hot to eat. Up until this point I'd subsisted on mints and packs of crackers from a vending machine.

The conversation went something like this:

Drivethru lady: Go ahead and order when you're ready
Me: Thanks for calling comcast, home of the triple play, My name is lbaile200 how can I assist you today!?

*A very long pause*

I ended up sleeping in the parking lot of that McDonalds for about 12 hours in my car. The manager eventually knocked on my window and asked me if I was homeless and if I needed to come in and warm up.

lbaile200 , Szabó Viktor Report

Final score:

241points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

This is actually a nice story with a kind manager, nice.

193points

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was looking all over for my keys and finally thought that I might have left them in the car. I went outside and my car was locked. So I pulled my keys out of my pocket, unlocked the door, opened the door and realized how much of an idiot I am.

anon , Julia Avamotive Report

Final score:

229points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

Searching phone with phone's flashlight vibes

89points

For those interested in what is responsible for our actions done on autopilot, the professor revealed that it’s mostly habitual behavior evoked by certain stimuli. “When your sustained attentional and cognitive control systems are compromised, you will behave in very bottom-up, perceptually driven and habitual ways; for example, you see the trash so whatever is in your hand (e.g. spoon) gets thrown in,” she explained.

She expanded on what parts of the brain are responsible for the brain freeze-like moments: “'Autopilot' is when you are engaged in highly learned habitual behaviors that are inflexible and stimulus-response mediated. This type of behavior has been linked to decreased involvement of prefrontal and parietal regions and are more related to engagement of the basal ganglia, brainstem and dopamine rich substantia nigra and ventral tegmental area.”

According to Prof. Rajah, the way to avoid such autopilot moments is “maintaining attention and being in the present moment and monitoring ongoing behaviors.”

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I kissed my wife's best friend. It was totally innocent and something we laughed about.

I had to take a bus to work everyday at about 4 am. My wife usually drove me to the stop so that I didn't have to leave my car there for 14 hours.

My wife's friend was staying with us while she looked for a job and house in the area. She was getting up early anyways so she decided she would take me and let my wife sleep. When we got to the stop, I just instinctively leaned over and kissed her goodbye. She had a dumbfounded look on her face, and mine instantly turned red as I realized what I'd done. I just said "sorry, it was a habit."

My wife poked fun at me for days for putting the moves on her friend.

LegendOfBobbyTables , Vera Arsic Report

Final score:

221points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

She could've had a worse reaction

135points

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.

My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"

arndta , Jill Evans Report

Final score:

215points

POST

OhnoI’vebeencensored 1 year ago

That's amazing. I hope your family laughed!

59points

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was talking to my boyfriend while he was eating a sandwich.
In mid sentence, he ripped a piece off and threw it at my face. He looked stunned when I didn't open my mouth and catch it (we have a dog)

We both nearly pee'd laughing

Bunnyjets , PNW Production Report

Final score:

209points

POST

L.V 1 year ago

I can definitely see that happening 🤣🤣🤣

40points

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was feeling an encroaching sickness coming upon me one time, so I decided to be proactive and make myself a couple of days' worth of the most baller chicken soup I could manage in advance, so I'd be able to eat well even when I was dying of the lurgy. I chopped the carrots, I sorted the onions, I stewed the chicken bones, and I cooked that m**********r down for eight hours into the most delicious stock you could imagine.

Then I poured it all through a colander into the sink.

Portarossa , osseous Report

Final score:

193points

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Sad Quokka 1 year ago

If you have never done this, you are not human

60points

#10

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done "have a good day sir."

"Love you too."

Awkward shuffle out of Panera.

Twokindsofpeople , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

192points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

"Enjoy your meal." "Thanks you too."

65points

#11

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I lived in the same house for 16 years. Moved out. Years later I did some summer work as a construction worker....on MY old house! First day I walked in, mindlessly did what I ALWAYS did when I came in , waltzed Into the kitchen during the family’s breakfast, opened the fridge and peered inside for a long while looking for something to eat.

I came to myself (dude I don’t live here anymore), looked up, and the family was all staring at me from the breakfast table, forks in mid air. At this unknown construction worker making himself right at home. I was so embarrassed I backed out, stammering the whole time and trying to have them understand “I’m so sorry I used to live here”. Wasn’t allowed inside work at that job site for a while

supertucci , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

188points

POST

Sad Quokka 1 year ago

That is hilarious 😆

70points

#12

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I had recently been attending a lot of martial arts classes at night. One morning at work I accidentally bowed at my boss when I entered his office. This was in the US, neither of us are of Asian descent, and yes he noticed.

It was awkward.

SJExit4 , Dan Goodwin Report

Final score:

186points

POST

James016 1 year ago

"Why did you bow when you came into my office?"......."Because it's time to fight"

127points

#13

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I’m an ex-bus driver and many times on my way home from work, I would go to pull into a bus stop, in my car...

Tink_650 , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

174points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

micalina1 ·4 yr. ago That's awesome. Do you ever start driving your route by accident? Tink_650 ·4 yr. ago Yes, I have done that too.

38points

TocTheElder , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

#14

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Go to the cinema to watch Quantum of Solace. Walk in five minutes late. Furious car chase on screen.

Instinctively try to find my seatbelt.

Final score:

155points

POST

Sad Quokka 1 year ago

Hahahaha 🤣

34points

#15

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was working the backline at an Arby's WAY back in the day. We used to get our sub buns footlong, but all the subs we sold were 6 inch. I literally reached into the bag, grabbed a sub roll, cut it in half, and then put the knife back in the bag and tried to cut another sandwich with the sub bun. My manager saw it and DIED.

boyvsfood2 , peapodsquadmom Report

Final score:

151points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

So you could say you used a bread knife?

101points

#16

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done "Here you go, if you need anything else, just let me know!", as I graciously put down the plate with food I cooked for the only person in the room. Me.

anon , Valeria Boltneva Report

Final score:

151points

POST

Cat lover 1 year ago

Seem ok to me. Treat ur self first properly 😁

70points

#17

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Washed an apple at the sink. Dried it with a paper towel. Turned and tossed the apple in the trash and stood there holding the towel like an idiot.

optcynsejo , Miriam Alonso Report

Final score:

146points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

I have done this but with chocolate, a few times. I'll stand by the trash, unwrap it, throw the chocolate in the trash.

36points

#18

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I've been working with children for 7 years now. When I'm drunk/tired/otherwise distracted, I go into teacher mode. If I'm travelling with people, I'll count them on and off public transport, I offer everyone water and snacks if I have them, and even tell complete strangers to "use your walking feet/inside voice" if they're running or shouting.

I didn't even know I was doing it til my boyfriend pointed it out to me.

anon , Lê Minh Report

Final score:

146points

POST

KJ 1 year ago

I worked with a woman that had a couple of young kids, we were starting a drive to a remote site, she turned to me and asked if I remembered to go to the toilet before we set off. Took her a few seconds before she realised she was talking to a grown man not her kids.

71points

#19

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I've worked as a caregiver for adults with mental and physical disabilities for more than a decade now. I'm a caregiver. I do basic cares, which include helping many adult men do their daily activities, things like: shaving, buttoning shirts, making sure belts are on correctly, so on and so forth.

Once on a date, I was a bit buzzed. I fixed my date's shirt, and told him he needed to look in the mirror and see if he wanted a shave.

parentaccount1143 , Monstera Report

Final score:

140points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

What did he say?

50points

SunOnTheInside , Beyzaa Yurtkuran Report

#20

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Reposting my own comment from a few years ago in a similar thread, because I still think this is my best response to this question.

Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.

Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep-starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out-

"your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.

Final score:

126points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

I could see this happening to me and I don’t like it. Sleep deprivation is a wondrous thing that does curious things to already crazy people

36points

#21

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Undressing to shower, I threw my underwear into the toilet instead of the laundry and flushed it.

brobronn17 , Max Rahubovskiy Report

Final score:

122points

POST

Sad Quokka 1 year ago

I'm curious - did the underwear actually flush??

54points

#22

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I drove home from Phoenix to Prescott, forgetting the fact that I had moved to Flagstaff about a month prior. Got all the way to my old driveway before realizing my error. (Both Prescott and Flagstaff are north of Phoenix, but are about 1.75 hours apart from each other).

anon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

119points

POST

QuirkyKittyGirl 1 year ago

Doh.

2points

#23

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Trying to unlock the front door of my house with my car remote.

Edit: Wow, platinum! Thanks so much kind stranger!

Mom_is_watching , Lina Kivaka Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Ffaelan Condragh 1 year ago

I saw a TikTok recently where a poor overworked nurse tried to open her home front door by swiping her work badge on her video doorbell. Her realization after the second attempt is all the feels.

32points

shhhushnow , Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz Report

#24

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I used to work on a farm & we always took our boots off before entering the homestead for meal breaks. One afternoon I absent-mindedly unbuttoned my jeans and started to take them off instead of my boots. I guess my brain decided I was done for the day!

Final score:

108points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Assuming there were others around, I would've died on the spot.

30points

#25

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Sometimes in the shower I fill my mouth up with water and just kind of let it pour out. Was brushing my teeth standing in the bathroom one day, fully dressed before work. I just let the toothpaste pour slowly out of my mouth and onto my clothes as if I were in the shower... now every time I brush my teeth my boyfriend warns me not to spit all over myself.

Squeakies , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

108points

POST

Vasana Phong 1 year ago

Opposite of autopilot, when i woke up and went to bathroom to brush my teeth, I just stood there, for the life of me I couldn’t remember which toothbrush was mine

41points

#26

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was tired at the time, but sat down on the toilet thinking that the seat was up and just [urinated] all over the seat, floor and myself.
Not a great thing to do ..or clean up at 3AM

Secretasari , Hakim Santoso Report

Final score:

105points

POST

OhnoI’vebeencensored 1 year ago

I put my three-year old on the toilet. "Why aren't you doing a wee?" I asked. "My pants are still up". Oh yeah *facepalm"

46points

#27

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I tried putting the milk bottle back in the microwave then got mad when it didn't fit. I only stopped trying cause my brother was there watching and he start laughing.

BananaVanillaLatte , Bill Benzon Report

Final score:

101points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago (edited)

I do s**t like this all the time. I've put random items in my fridge and just in cabinets absentmindedly

29points

#28

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Got in my car to buy groceries and drove the 45 minutes to work.

PS. But the actually embarrassing one is when you are a homecare nurse and you walk into one of your patients home at 9pm expecting them to have milk and bread in stock.

Gemmabeta , Pixabay Report

Final score:

99points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

The grind never ends.

17points

#29

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Was signing for a parcel on one of those electronic things delivery drivers use, and I wasn't paying any attention and ended up staring at it for a minute and then just drawing a straight line on the screen and handing it back

He was confused

b14nn , ampus Production Report

Final score:

97points

POST

Charlie the Cat 1 year ago

So hard to even make a barely legible signature on those things.

53points

GeneralAbalone , cottonbro studio Report

#30

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done My wife's friend & her husband were leaving after having dinner at our house. As they're leaving, she says "love you" to my wife. Naturally, I respond "love you t... uuuuuh... yeah, goodnight."

Final score:

84points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago (edited)

I find myself saying "Bye, love you." to a lot of people, a lot of which I don't even know.

38points

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#31

My dog's favorite part of the day is dinner time. I pull out her food, she starts wagging and doing the tippy-taps, get a scoop of food, and instead of going to her bowl I dump the full scoop into the trash can. She then just looked at me with the saddest eyes and I felt terrible, so she got a little bit extra food and some pets.

ChaoticRift Report

Final score:

42points

POST

9 animals and counting 1 year ago

Tippy taps. I LOVE that description.

22points

#32

Started unbuttoning and unzipping my trousers while I walked towards the toilet, just like I do at home because I'm efficient like that. Except I was at work and was walking through the shared office

LadyGruntfuttock Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Catman (He/Him) 1 year ago

I did this once in school. It was in the middle of class, no one was in the hallway. No one saw, but I am still haunted.

11points

#33

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I work with preschoolers and we sing songs to help them wash their hands, and I started singing the same song when I went out with some friends to a bar.

Edit: Thanks for the silver, friend!

Edit 2: The song goes “Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash them everyday. Scrub, scrub, scrub the germs and wash them down the drain,” to the tune of Row Your Boat.

superpie5 , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

39points

POST

QuirkyKittyGirl 1 year ago

I also taught preschool. This is our hand washing song: Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash your hands all over. Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash your hands all over. Wash them up and wash them down, wash them in between. Wash them up and wash them down, make them nice and clean. (To the tune of “Old Joe Clark”)

5points

#34

My wife says she once ate pizza at a friend's house and, out of habit, threw the crust on the floor for the dog. Those friends didn't have a dog.

Catsrecliner1 Report

Final score:

39points

POST

EJGeewhiz 1 year ago

That's awesome! The dog is now her best friend!

9points

#35

Woke up. Automatically got out of bed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, packed up my backpack, headed out of my dorm, happened to glance at the clock in the lounge.

It was 1:30 am.

Final score:

38points

POST

ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago

I’ve done that before lol. I was downstairs making breakfast when my mom came down in her bathrobe and said “what are you doing??? It’s two in the morning, go back to sleep.”

10points

#36

I was lying naked on top of my high school girlfriend and we were smoochin', and I pulled back to ask if it bothered her that I was naked.

Instead, I said, "Does it bother you that I'm gay?"

Final score:

38points

POST

Lakota Wolf 1 year ago

Well? Did it? XD

21points

Nobody_Likes_Shy_Guy Report

#37

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was getting my car out of the parking lot, heading back home after a loooong day. Shortly after I started driving, I passed by a car that is identical to mine and thought "cool, I found the car" i got out of the car to go to the other car. Halfway through I noticed that wtf I am doing, looked around hoping to God that no one saw me, and then went back on my merry way. Wasn't a proud moment lol

xgonegiveit2ya , Kelly Report

Final score:

35points

POST

#38

Put my phone under a faucet to fill up my water bottle.

I recognized my mistake.

And then I did it again

Final score:

35points

POST

Toxic 1 year ago

Your phone was just thirsty

10points

#39

I have 2 kids and am in the habit of pointing out things I think they’ll like (rainbows, the moon, nice dogs...). One day in work I turned to a young male childless colleague and said “Oh look over there, a cat!!” I got a weird look

niapattenlooks Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

What a strange person. Everybody is interested by cats!

42points

#40

Was super tired. The route to my therapist and my workplace is the same for the first few miles.

Was ten minutes past the split when I realized I needed to go to WORK and not the doc. Turned around. I was home before I realized I still needed to go to WORK...

Stargate525 Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Yoga Kitty 1 year ago

Time for a day off, I guess

6points

#41

Oh god. This makes me want to die.

My ex-boyfriend and I had this thing where we'd take things out of context and make them mushy. Like I might say "tonight's sunset is really beautiful" and he'd say, "no YOU'RE really beautiful". Or "ouch! This soup is so hot" would be answered with "Ouch! YOU are so hot"

Once my coworker sampled one of our coffee creamers, made a face and said, "that's far too sweet." I automatically responded with, "no, YOU'RE far too sweet" imitating his voice and face while still working at my desk. When I looked up after realizing I said it aloud, his eyes were pretty wide.

rkgk13 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago (edited)

"OMG she finally made a move after all this time!"

19points

#42

put my cat in the kitchen drawer

Tinywampa Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Powerful Katrinka 1 year ago

I'm shocked that the cat went along with this.

19points

#43

Saying goodbye to my aunt at her husbands funeral, and accidentally said "yeah it was fun", when she said thanks for coming.

iamambience Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Zane Lumagrowl 1 year ago

Putting the "fun" in "fun"eral!

7points

#44

Started to trim my beard and didn't see the guard was off.. Huge swath of beard gone in one swipe. The kids still refer to me during the beardless months as "Creepy Daddy" and I am not allowed to shave it off again.

Polar_Ted Report

Final score:

31points

POST

ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago

Lol my director did this shortly after I met him and didn’t know him too well. I didn’t recognize him until he started talking and he looked a little creepy 😅

11points

#45

Go to check the mail, grab the keys, oh yeah! there is garbage/recycling that needs to go out, I stop at mailbox, I get mail, throw away the garbage, throw away the mail, throw away my keys...
Neighbor asks if I am going to need those, I just kind of stop, look around a bit and say "Well, yeah, probably"

SavageJeph Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Toxic 1 year ago

I love how the person was so calm about it

11points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#46

I stepped on a cheeto and apologized to it.

Final score:

30points

POST

Toxic 1 year ago

I'll apologize for bumping into walls or tripping on a dog toy or something even when I'm not on autopilot

13points

#47

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Always running to catch the subway after waiting at the crosswalk in front of the station. Casually walking with my friend in the same area yesterday. Started running when the cross sign lit up. He was like wtf?

LosingLungs , Hashim Rogers Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Chocolate llama 1 year ago

Many years of using public transport has trained me to navigate my way smoothly and quick through larger crowds of people. Once I was traveling with my spouse tho...his reaction to me suddenly being 30 meters in front of him on the escalators was similar, but actually more like "damn, teach me your secrets" :D

13points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

#48

Most cringe moment of my adult life probably. I finally got a job as a wine consultant that I had been trying to get for years. It was just a position at our local grocery store but our wine department was the best in town so I was pumped. Doing a great job and getting regulars at my tastings and s**t. One day I get to do a tasting with a fairly expensive bottle of champagne (around 130$). I opened the bottle and it starts to fizz over (wasn't cooled enough yet) and my instant reaction is to start chugging it because that's what you do when that happens with a beer or soda. But this was champagne. Expensive champagne. And I'm chugging it in the middle of the sales floor, while on clock, in a grocery store. Still cringe when I think about it.

Edit: holy s**t my inbox. I'll try to get some of these replies out. Also thanks for the silver!

rshot Report

Final score:

29points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#49

Somewhere after the birth of our second or third kid, I went downstairs to heat up a bottle for our crying bundle of joy.

I’m guessing they were still under six months of age, since they were waking up multiple times a night. Anyway, after a few minutes my wife yelled down to see what was taking so long. I stumbled back upstairs with the bottle and handed it to her.

I finally woke up once she yelled at me for bringing her the baby’s bottle with a giant chunk of leftover sesame chicken smashed into it...and no baby formula.

In my defense, I had heated it up so that it wouldn’t be cold...

aslochatham Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

LOL 😆

2points

#50

Making cookies, I cracked an egg and dumped the contents into the garbage. Thankfully caught myself before putting the shell into the cookies

MaxYoung Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

Cookies with extra calcium!

9points

#51

At the gym, there is an arm curl machine. Typically I do a heavy amount, but that day I was tired and pretty brain dead. As I used the machine, I didn’t realise that there was no weight on it, and I tried curling it with effort as normal. I ended up slamming myself in the head with the bar, and everyone in the gym heard it..

Edit:thanks for the upvotes!!

Kiedgendary Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Nurichwersonst 1 year ago

Plonk!!!

6points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#52

Was taking my belt off at the TSA and then pulled down my pants, got to my ankles and was like, nope, back up!

Iamabrewer Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Luna Crow 1 year ago

I'll bet these things happen a lot, especially on the red eye flights

11points

#53

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done I was sitting in math class one day, and I was just humming to myself while the teacher explained something at the board. She went to turn off the projector, which is next to my desk. Then, still standing next to me, she gives me this weird look and asks, "is something wrong?"

I had been so deep in thought that I had lost the tune but kept humming, so I was now just humming a long, low "hmmmmmmmmm" without any change in pitch.

So yeah. That was embarrassing.

DeepBreathing4Me , Max Fischer Report

Final score:

25points

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MicrowaveGoddess 1 year ago

This is something I’d do

5points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

#54

I work as a housekeeper and when we knock on a door we yell “housekeeping” and when we throw laundry down the chute we yell “heads” (so those below watch their heads). Anyway, one day I knocked on a door and loudly yelled “heads!” Later that day the back of my mind remembered my mistake and made sure to “correct it” but I over-corrected and stupidly yelled “housekeeping” down the laundry chute.

Sadye_Lady Report

Final score:

24points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#55

I just finished getting my hair cut and walked out to get into my car. I got into the back seat and sat there for a minute before realizing that I drove myself there. Worst part was the salon has a glass storefront and I was parked front and centre.

Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger!

jkotwa93 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Isabel Care 1 year ago

I made a hairdresser cry. I explained what I would be doing after she cut my hair, she said ok, cut my hair and proceeded to style it. I said not to bother, just dry it. She insisted. It was raining outside, so I put on my crash helmet indoors so I didn't get wet. She was in tears. I had told her not to bother with styling after the cut as I rode my motorbike and would be shoving a helmet on as soon as we'd finished. Poor lass. I had another one cry years earlier, when I finally convinced my mum to let me have a Peter Pan cut instead of long hair. Freedom

1point

#56

Took my my newborn kid to the grocery store with my wife. I had a buggy with the baby, she had the buggy with the groceries. I had been rocking the buggy back and forth to sooth the kid since he was getting antsy. My wife and I traded buggies, so she had the baby, I had the groceries.

Cue me rocking the buggy with groceries in the cereal aisle.

Final score:

23points

POST

Kati Oliver 1 year ago

All parents rock.....no matter how old your kids are. I still do it, sway back and forth and my yougest is 20!!!!!

8points

#57

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Just today I went to the grocery store, packed everything into my backpack at self check-out and went home. As soon as I got home I remembered I never actually paid.

EDIT: To all those asking if I went back and paid, I did. As soon as I noticed, I went back, swiped my card in the self check-out and got it over with. Nobody had even noticed. The store is about 300m from my apartment complex.

For clarification (as to how I got away with it): The self check-out works by swiping your personal discount card, then grabbing a scanner that lights up. You scan all your items before putting them into your cart/basket. When you're done, you put the scanner back, then go to one of the self check-out registers, swipe your discount card again to create a bill to pay, then pay it using your debit card.
I did everything except swipe my card and pay, since I usually do all this BEFORE packing everything. Yesterday I was worried if they'd fit so I wanted to find out first, put them all into my backpack and then went my merry way without a second thought.

YethFaru , Hamish Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Paul C. 1 year ago

Guy I used to work with was an ex policeman and just the most honest bloke you could meet. When there was a charity day and the supermarkets were selling things that went straight to the charity (Red nose day or Children in Need, can't remember which) he picked up a bunch of recipe books that had been put together by Jamie Oliver, thinking they were free, as they were lying next to the checkout. He handed them out at work and was horrified when I told him that they were about five pounds each. That Friday night he donated a hundred pounds to absolve himself.

4points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#58

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done On the railroad, you can get verbal permission to pass a red signal or flag, either from the dispatcher or the employee who placed the red flag. You cannot under any circumstances pass a BLUE light or flag, because that protects employees working on/under/between rolling stock beyond the blue signal.

Driving home in the car late one night, I decided to take a shortcut through the local university. I go around a corner and see a blue light marking a police call station.

Immediate conclusion: “S**t, can’t go that way.”

CatHerder237 , Malcolm Hill Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Somebodys grandmother 1 year ago

Good employee...

4points

#59

One morning I was sick and stayed home from work. My wife was being really awesome and served me breakfast. Trying to show her how thankful I was I said "Thanks Mom." We both just stared at each other for a second then burst out laughing.

daiye99 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

T5n 1 year ago

Would a Sigmund Freud or Oedipus joke work better for this?

10points

#60

I made dinner. It was some exotic chicken and rice. Wanted a drink, poured orange juice in my chicken and rice. Tasted great though.

Fef_ Report

Final score:

21points

POST

raisin hippo 1 year ago

My mom used to put orange juice on chicken when she was cooking for her family as a kid.

3points

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#61

During Halloween, a child came to my door and said "trick-or-treat", and for some f*****g reason I replied with "welcome to [my work]! How can I help you?"

punkterminator Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Catman (He/Him) 1 year ago

The scariest thing ever. WORK!!!! DUN DUN DUN!!

11points

#62

Knocked on an open door for the bathroom

jimkaxon1 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Henry Russell 1 year ago

well was it open

3points

#63

I said “no babes you’re wrong” to my boss at a management meeting two weeks ago because i was daydreaming about my boyfriend. Kill.me.now.

Edit: I said this to a comment he made; kind of like hearing and seeing one person, but thinking about another (i hope this makes sense, not sure how to explain)... It didn’t go unnoticed. It was slow and painful. I tried to save it along the lines of “didn’t want you to hit reality all that hard so i let you down nice and slowly”. I then looked at everyone else and basically said “it is really just a question of time until i call you all babes btw”. Awkward to the max.
But thank you all!!!

birdorinho Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Sawdust 1 year ago

Now she has to throw in an occasional "babes" into work conversations to maintain the charade.

6points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#64

I guess I listen to too many podcasts, because I keep trying to pause work conference calls. I’ve also caught myself trying to increase my husband’s volume by pushing buttons on my phone while we’re in a room together having a conversation.

Janigiraffey Report

Final score:

20points

POST

9 animals and counting 1 year ago

There is a word for why the human race will never fulfill its potential and that word is "meetings."

11points

#65

Right after high school, I worked as a pharmacy technician during the week and a waitress on weekends. Sometimes I’d waitress a dinner shift during the week, and the next day, without fail, I’d almost always answer the phone at the pharmacy saying “thank you for calling Pizza Huuuu.... Brown’s Pharmacy”

Randa95 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

#66

I used to work at the airport, and got used to yelling the word 'Next please!' a lot. One week, I was working really long shifts, and was pretty tired. I decided to stop at McDonalds on my way home from work and went through the drive through. When I stopped to tell them my order, I yelled 'NEXT PLEASE!' into the speaker.

Etchisketchistan Report

Final score:

19points

POST

#67

Ended a phone call with my boss "love you babe".

Edit, boss was a she, and to be honest she was pretty damn cute in a slightly goofy way.

manny_goldstein Report

Final score:

17points

POST

#68

I've sent nearly have a dozen emails addressed to 'All' with "see attached" without adding the attachment. Each time I've done that I think I lost a few months of my life due to self dread and loathing.

HamBurglary12 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Sad Quokka 1 year ago

Yeh, I do this too

2points

#69

Dipped a knife in a cup and tried to drink out of a jam jar

TBA18 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#70

I was late to my first day of work. Autopilot Me chose to go to my previous employer of 15 years where I had quit. I realized about 5 minutes before getting there and had to drive about 25 min back in the direction I came from. Old job was about 30 min depending on traffic, new job was about 5. Same industry, new coworkers just laughed it off. 15 years of the same commute, same truck, same tools, just another Monday on autopilot.

benoni79 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Toxic 1 year ago

This reminds me of that one episode of The Middle

0points

#71

I was parked in a grocery store lot, looking at my phone when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I drive a manual, so the anxiety of forgetting the ebrake is constant. I started frantically pressing the foot brake and pulling on the ebrake (which was engaged), it took me a second to realize that it was the car next to me pulling out, not me drifting out of my spot. I looked over and the driver was giving me a pure 'The F**k?' look.

1nd1anaCroft Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Jennifer_Crowley_Luci 1 year ago

That is SUCH a weird feeling when it happens! You think you're moving and you're not.... very weird feeling. :D

12points

whyamiwastingmytime1 Report

#72

I used to work in a factory, starting at 6am, so I'd have to get out of bed around 5:15 each morning. There was one morning when I got up, had my breakfast and left as usual, drove round the corner to the garage where I would buy my lunch. It seemed a lot quieter than usual, but being half asleep myself, it only half registered.
Then I got back in my car and noticed the time... I was awake 3 hours early. FML. I went home and back to bed for a couple of hours

Final score:

13points

POST

#73

"I have to go potty" - me, to my boss

onionslut Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Chocolate llama 1 year ago

Maybe I should try this in the next endless meeting...

6points

#74

30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done Went to the doctor's office, took off my jumper for a flu shot, realized my t-shirt was on inside out. Got home, took off my t-shirt, realized my bra was inside out. Sigh.

anon , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

12points

POST

A girl 1 year ago

Restroom at work. Realize I autopiloted getting dressed that morning. I have placed one leg through a leg opening, one leg through the waist opening and am wearing the other leg opening around my waist - I put on underwear wrong and didn't notice for 3 hours. I had a meeting immediately after I made the correction but didn't share why I kept snickering.

10points

#75

I placed my cellphone in the fridge and left the milk out after making myself some cereal.

RollerKirbyDerby Report

Final score:

12points

POST

les 1 year ago

I've put my shoes in the fridge and beer on the shoe rack more than once

5points

cornbeefandcabbage Report

#76

I was getting out of my car and went to take a sip of my iced coffee. Unfortunately I put the end of my car key in my mouth instead.

Ren_13 Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Nurichwersonst 1 year ago

From time to time i eat a toast while writing something (pencil to paper) and happen to bite in the pencil... probably one day my teeth will give in... 😬

2points

#77

I had a deadline and I was very sleep deprived. I drank a lot of coffee so I had to visit the loo a lot. One particular pee visit late at night, I went to wash my hands as usual but the tap wouldn't budge. I kept turning it yet no water would come out.

So I did what most adults would do when that happens. I started crying and called for someone to check it, saying that I broke the tap in between gasps.

Boyfriend walked to the sink and magically fixed the tap. I was turning it the wrong way.

ponyfart Report

Final score:

11points

POST

#78

Trying to use my house keys to board the bus.

timconradinc Report

Final score:

11points

POST

#79

Put the cardboard circle that comes with your frozen pizza into the oven and the actual pizza in the trash can.

Final score:

10points

POST

#80

I was at the grocery store using the self-checkout. I scanned over $150 of items, bagged everything, took my items and left without paying.

Only while unpacking everything at home, I realized what happened . After calling my credit card company to confirm, I repacked everything up, and returned to the grocery store to checkout. Again.

brandosm Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#81

Yesterday I jumped out of my truck thinking it was in park and it drove away from me. I jumped back in and hit the break about 1 foot before crashing into a building.