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Man Eats Bruschetta And Pasta With Hands, Makes GF Leave The Restaurant Embarrassed
Interview With ExpertMany of us might think that proper manners in public places is a common thing that everyone knows. Yet, there are plenty of stories that prove it isn’t as common as we would like it to be. And to be frank, sometimes, it shocks us how removed some people are from proper manners.
Like the man from today’s story who embarrassed his girlfriend in a fancy restaurant so much that she couldn’t wait to leave the place. You wonder what he did? Well, let’s just say that he basically violated nearly every rule of public eating etiquette.
More info: Reddit
While we might expect people to have proper dining out manners, unfortunately, not everyone does
Image credits: Quark Studio (not the actual photo)
A woman and her boyfriend went out to eat at a fancy restaurant that required a certain dress code
Image credits: Chris Tweten (not the actual photo)
When the waiter brought the appetizer, the man started eating with his hands despite his girlfriend asking him not to
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Then, he smirked at her and proceeded to eat the main meal in the same gross way, getting the sauce all over himself and the table
Image credits: u/aileeliz
Then, when the woman confronted him after she ran out of the restaurant due to embarrassment, he pushed the blame onto her, saying he simply wanted to eat comfortably
This OP recently got promoted. So, she and her boyfriend of 7 months decided to go to a fancy Italian restaurant to celebrate. It was one of those fancy restaurants with a dress code. Typically, these types of restaurants ask their guests to wear smart or formal attire. To talk about fancy dining experiences, Bored Panda got in touch with etiquette expert and consultant Jo Hayes.
The reason why these luxurious places ask customers to dress in this attire is that, usually, these places are trying to create a certain atmosphere as part of their experience. And if some guests come dressed too casually, it can ruin the experience for others, bursting the bubble of luxury.
And so, when the author and her boyfriend went to this fancy place, they were served a bruschetta dish as an appetizer. That’s where the trouble started.
The problem was that before going to this restaurant, the woman didn’t realize her boyfriend had no table manners, and she thought he was just a messy eater. When the bruschetta dish came, he asked if the woman would mind if he enjoyed it “the way he does at home.” Let’s just say that the woman minded, but it didn’t stop him.
He dug into a meal with his hand and got sauce all over his fingers. And when they were served the main dish, pasta, he also ate it with his fingers, smirking at the woman, perhaps showing her that he was causing this mess purposefully.
Jo Hayes said that when witnessing someone’s poor dining manners, if possible, correction is the right thing to do. And it should be done in a subtle and kind way. Yet, in this story, it doesn’t seem that any type of correction would have stopped the man’s actions.
After the food, everything was covered with sauce – the tablecloth and his clothes, hands, and face. If that wasn’t enough, he loudly burped, drawing the other customers and the waiter’s attention. He then proceeded to block the aisle by putting his feet up on the chair nearby!
This whole situation mortified the woman. So, she quickly asked for the check, paid for it, and left as soon as she could. When she confronted the boyfriend about his behavior, he told her it was her fault for not letting him enjoy the meal as he pleased. He also added that since they were paying customers, other guests had no business judging them.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Well, other guests were paying customers as well. And they didn’t pay to see a man devour a meal in a very gross way, did they? Just as there is a dress code, there’s also an expectation on how people should act in luxurious places. As our interviewee pointed out: “When diners display poor table manners and general poor dining etiquette, it impacts the experience of those around them.”
She also gave us some examples of how proper dining manners look. During a meal, people should try to eat slowly, in small bites with their mouths closed, and not talk while chewing. A proper use of utensils if the meal requires them is important, too. As Jo said: “Poor use of cutlery is one of the most obvious signs of poor table manners.” Well, the boyfriend in the story surely violated many of these etiquette rules.
Yet, some people in the comments under the post pointed out that the problem might be deeper than him simply not having proper table manners. They said that by basically mocking both the woman and the restaurant, he was showing signs of his abusive behavior.
In a cycle of abuse, the first stage is tension building. And that probably could’ve been cut with a knife in that restaurant, as the woman described being mortified by his behavior. Later, when called out, he proceeded to blame her for not letting him eat comfortably. In reality, knowing how everything looked after he ate, the only person who was uncomfortable at that table was the woman.
We don’t want to speculate about a stranger’s tendency to be abusive, but we can’t deny that he surely acted like a big jerk. And the reason for that might be wanting to cause some tension or maybe he just wanted to show that he’s too cool for fancy restaurants. Either way, the only goal that was achieved was the embarrassment of the woman. And a possible break up.
But, hey, maybe breaking up with such a jerk isn’t the worst thing in the world. Hopefully, this leads her to someone who she won’t be ashamed to dine out with. And that’s what she deserves, doesn’t she?
People online were unsettled by the man’s actions and even speculated about his possible abusive behavior
I would end the relationship if a partner behaved like this. I have no desire to be embarrassed in public by an over-sized toddler.
I would have walked out of the restaurant and left him with the bill. Then dump him. He is not a civilized person.
Load More Replies...Agreed. I don’t think the boyfriend likes OP very much. He was purposely trying to embarrass them and upset them. Maybe he doesn’t like the fact that they got a promotion or he thinks OP is wrong for wanting to go to a fancy restaurant. Definitely break up worthy behaviour
Load More Replies...Well, it's not that hard to see, is it? He is the kind of guy that will humiliate and insult and embarrass his girlfriend whenever he doesn't get his way or she does something wrong or when he has a bad day etc. etc. Ditch him: he will make you suffer.
Or when she achieves success. Guy is an abusive douche bag.
Load More Replies...All these "Working part-time" etc spams, just report them. They'll be back with another name in due course. Don't waste your downvotes on these idiots.
I downvote them anyway, it helps to put them to the bottom of the comments so nobody has to see them
Load More Replies...Article: "We don’t want to speculate about a stranger’s tendency to be abusive, but we can’t deny that he surely acted like a big jerk." No, no, no Ugnė, we are going to speculate about him being abusive. This was a clear power move that indicates abusive tendencies. This is a red flag and should be called out. Diminishing his actions by calling him a 'bully' or 'a huge jerk' is not helping anyone. That is almost as bad as 'boys being boys' and asking the meek one to be complacent because "it can't be that bad". Want to repost a reddit story why not turn it into a cautionary tale. Dude looks her in the eye and did it on purpose. Why not call out abuse when it's practically spelled out for you.
I can see how eating pasta with your hands, and everything else is…odd, to say the least, but do people eat bruschetta with a knife and fork?
It's polite to use a serving fork to take food off the common plate and put it on your own plate. Then it's okay to eat bruschetta with your fingers.
Load More Replies...He’s an arrogant, uncivilized animal that enjoys being an embarrassment to her. I really hope she dumped his butt in the nearest dumpster where he belongs.
A great example of why some women prefer to stay single and happy, instead of attached and miserable
He's either a huge AH, or he was trying to get her mad so she would break up with him. Since this was 2 years ago, was there an update?
Very likely over, since the OP also wrote: "I didn’t know that he would behave like that in front of complete strangers, but I probably shouldn’t be as surprised as I am. He always talks about disliking “high society” and thinks that nice restaurants are just pretentious."
Load More Replies...Run. Run like the wind. It doesn't matter what his reasons were at this point. His actions were deliberate & he knew exactly what he was doing. (edit: I'm thinking there's something else going on here. Like it was a dare from a friend, or he has a bet going on just how much he can get away with before getting kicked to the curb or something. doesn't matter though, dump dump dump)
I would have broken up with him the first moment he was purposely messy/knowingly didn't use any table manners. I would have gotten my food to go, paid my portion of the bill, and left him there to be dealt with by the other customers and staff.
Yup, just leave and NEVER see that A hole again. EVER.
Load More Replies...I'm totally on OP's side that this was atrocious and 1000000% deliberate, but genuine question, please don't downvote: isn't bruschetta usually eaten with hands? Every time I've had it it's been served dolloped on bread and you eat the bread with your hands. Even my sister's host family in Italy served it this way.
It probably depends on the toppings and how much of the toppings are on it. I rarely eat bruschetta, but I usually eat it with my hands because it's typically small pieces of bread.
Load More Replies...Dating a gross eater is disgusting. Why would you subject yourself to gross eating behaviors when it should have been a enjoyable time? Are you that hard up on man? Op, you need to date better.
She admitted that she shouldn't have been that surprised by his behaviour - but she didn't expect him to be so brazen in front of strangers. Anyways, the post is over 2 years old and I very much doubt they are still together.
Load More Replies...He deliberately humiliated you in public. He has no respect for you or your feelings. The smirk on his face says it all. I would definitely think twice about dating a toddler. If I were you I'd definitely think long and hard about staying in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you enough to respect your wishes or feelings. I'd personally kick the pig to the curb.
She needs to say good bye to boy baby. He will never change. He did it deliberately. He is jealous of you and clearly is showing no respect for you. Please don't stick around another 7 months. Run do not walk!
Maybe he thought he was being cheeky or cute idfk but there's a time and a place for such behavior and that was definitely NOT one of those times or places. I've got such second hand mortification for this young woman 😵💫 she just wanted to do something nice to celebrate her hard work but this 2 year old with a pituitary gland issue had to fluff it all up for her. Gift him a bib that says "it's over. Here, you'll need this." and find you a real man, luv
DUMP HIS A*S RIGHT NOW! He will do this sort of thing every time he can get away with it. He's abusing you. He's dangerous. He knows what he did, he did it on purpose.
My ex used to do this kind of passive-aggressive BS to "keep me in my place." That's why he's an ex. I guarantee OP's boyfriend acted like a boor on purpose to publicly humiliate her. Sometimes you just need to cut your losses and take out the trash.
I seriously hope OP isn't still dating that slob. Where I come from, you can eat with your hands but that's generally limited to rice (nasi lemak) and flatbread (roti). Also, majority that do so are Malays and Indians aka trained to eat with their hands from a young age culturally while Chinese like myself generally use a mix of utensils and hands. Yet I would never and have never seen anyone eat pasta with their hands or belch louder than a ship horn for that matter. That slob excuse of a BF should be dumped fast and left to eat with only his abysmal manners for company. Side note: Do you really need to use utensils for bruschetta? The places where I normally have them allows us to use our hands to pick up the bread but obviously some do use forks. Pasta is obviously utensil food though.
Kick him to the curb. He's a malicious instigator and will make your life miserable to get his jollies.
All you need to do is think: Can I stand this for the rest of my life?
Please for the love of God end your relationship with this bozo. He's immature and that was not about manners, it was some sort of control thing. Things will only go downhill with this jerk. Would he do that if he was invited to dinner with his boss? I think not. Red flags galore, cut your losses.
I would end the relationship if a partner behaved like this. I have no desire to be embarrassed in public by an over-sized toddler.
I would have walked out of the restaurant and left him with the bill. Then dump him. He is not a civilized person.
Load More Replies...Agreed. I don’t think the boyfriend likes OP very much. He was purposely trying to embarrass them and upset them. Maybe he doesn’t like the fact that they got a promotion or he thinks OP is wrong for wanting to go to a fancy restaurant. Definitely break up worthy behaviour
Load More Replies...Well, it's not that hard to see, is it? He is the kind of guy that will humiliate and insult and embarrass his girlfriend whenever he doesn't get his way or she does something wrong or when he has a bad day etc. etc. Ditch him: he will make you suffer.
Or when she achieves success. Guy is an abusive douche bag.
Load More Replies...All these "Working part-time" etc spams, just report them. They'll be back with another name in due course. Don't waste your downvotes on these idiots.
I downvote them anyway, it helps to put them to the bottom of the comments so nobody has to see them
Load More Replies...Article: "We don’t want to speculate about a stranger’s tendency to be abusive, but we can’t deny that he surely acted like a big jerk." No, no, no Ugnė, we are going to speculate about him being abusive. This was a clear power move that indicates abusive tendencies. This is a red flag and should be called out. Diminishing his actions by calling him a 'bully' or 'a huge jerk' is not helping anyone. That is almost as bad as 'boys being boys' and asking the meek one to be complacent because "it can't be that bad". Want to repost a reddit story why not turn it into a cautionary tale. Dude looks her in the eye and did it on purpose. Why not call out abuse when it's practically spelled out for you.
I can see how eating pasta with your hands, and everything else is…odd, to say the least, but do people eat bruschetta with a knife and fork?
It's polite to use a serving fork to take food off the common plate and put it on your own plate. Then it's okay to eat bruschetta with your fingers.
Load More Replies...He’s an arrogant, uncivilized animal that enjoys being an embarrassment to her. I really hope she dumped his butt in the nearest dumpster where he belongs.
A great example of why some women prefer to stay single and happy, instead of attached and miserable
He's either a huge AH, or he was trying to get her mad so she would break up with him. Since this was 2 years ago, was there an update?
Very likely over, since the OP also wrote: "I didn’t know that he would behave like that in front of complete strangers, but I probably shouldn’t be as surprised as I am. He always talks about disliking “high society” and thinks that nice restaurants are just pretentious."
Load More Replies...Run. Run like the wind. It doesn't matter what his reasons were at this point. His actions were deliberate & he knew exactly what he was doing. (edit: I'm thinking there's something else going on here. Like it was a dare from a friend, or he has a bet going on just how much he can get away with before getting kicked to the curb or something. doesn't matter though, dump dump dump)
I would have broken up with him the first moment he was purposely messy/knowingly didn't use any table manners. I would have gotten my food to go, paid my portion of the bill, and left him there to be dealt with by the other customers and staff.
Yup, just leave and NEVER see that A hole again. EVER.
Load More Replies...I'm totally on OP's side that this was atrocious and 1000000% deliberate, but genuine question, please don't downvote: isn't bruschetta usually eaten with hands? Every time I've had it it's been served dolloped on bread and you eat the bread with your hands. Even my sister's host family in Italy served it this way.
It probably depends on the toppings and how much of the toppings are on it. I rarely eat bruschetta, but I usually eat it with my hands because it's typically small pieces of bread.
Load More Replies...Dating a gross eater is disgusting. Why would you subject yourself to gross eating behaviors when it should have been a enjoyable time? Are you that hard up on man? Op, you need to date better.
She admitted that she shouldn't have been that surprised by his behaviour - but she didn't expect him to be so brazen in front of strangers. Anyways, the post is over 2 years old and I very much doubt they are still together.
Load More Replies...He deliberately humiliated you in public. He has no respect for you or your feelings. The smirk on his face says it all. I would definitely think twice about dating a toddler. If I were you I'd definitely think long and hard about staying in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you enough to respect your wishes or feelings. I'd personally kick the pig to the curb.
She needs to say good bye to boy baby. He will never change. He did it deliberately. He is jealous of you and clearly is showing no respect for you. Please don't stick around another 7 months. Run do not walk!
Maybe he thought he was being cheeky or cute idfk but there's a time and a place for such behavior and that was definitely NOT one of those times or places. I've got such second hand mortification for this young woman 😵💫 she just wanted to do something nice to celebrate her hard work but this 2 year old with a pituitary gland issue had to fluff it all up for her. Gift him a bib that says "it's over. Here, you'll need this." and find you a real man, luv
DUMP HIS A*S RIGHT NOW! He will do this sort of thing every time he can get away with it. He's abusing you. He's dangerous. He knows what he did, he did it on purpose.
My ex used to do this kind of passive-aggressive BS to "keep me in my place." That's why he's an ex. I guarantee OP's boyfriend acted like a boor on purpose to publicly humiliate her. Sometimes you just need to cut your losses and take out the trash.
I seriously hope OP isn't still dating that slob. Where I come from, you can eat with your hands but that's generally limited to rice (nasi lemak) and flatbread (roti). Also, majority that do so are Malays and Indians aka trained to eat with their hands from a young age culturally while Chinese like myself generally use a mix of utensils and hands. Yet I would never and have never seen anyone eat pasta with their hands or belch louder than a ship horn for that matter. That slob excuse of a BF should be dumped fast and left to eat with only his abysmal manners for company. Side note: Do you really need to use utensils for bruschetta? The places where I normally have them allows us to use our hands to pick up the bread but obviously some do use forks. Pasta is obviously utensil food though.
Kick him to the curb. He's a malicious instigator and will make your life miserable to get his jollies.
All you need to do is think: Can I stand this for the rest of my life?
Please for the love of God end your relationship with this bozo. He's immature and that was not about manners, it was some sort of control thing. Things will only go downhill with this jerk. Would he do that if he was invited to dinner with his boss? I think not. Red flags galore, cut your losses.
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