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35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online During a private Remembrance Day (Armistice Day) ceremony with veterans, my 3-year-old soiled her diaper. I changed her in a back room and when we came out, it was the moment of silence. She slammed the door and yelled to all the vets, “I just had a BIG poo! And it had PEANUTS in it!”

ponchojukebox , jonty.fisher Report

Final score:

315points

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KitFrey 2 years ago

I don't know why I laughed so hard at that

88points

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online At the grocery store, my daughter, who was 2 at the time, and I were about to pass an African American lady in an aisle. At this point, she had never seen anyone with a darker skin color such as hers. She’s about 2 feet from us. So, she sees her, turns to me and *yells* (while pointing), “look Mom!!! It’s a chocolate lady!!!”. I froze for a sec, said “yes honey, isn’t she beautiful?”. She yells yes, and I practically ran away down the aisle. That poor lady was such a good sport.

BONUS. We met a man with a hook for a hand and she sprinted up to him to ask him if he was Captain Hook. *facepalm*

Luckily, he said yes and pretended to run after her.

anon , Johnny Silvercloud Report

Final score:

305points

POST

Lulxby 2 years ago (edited)

Aww, the hook guy seems really wholesome!

142points

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Took my 3 year old to Disneyworld. Of course after about an hour in the park, both I and the offspring have to go to the bathroom. We head off to one of the main bathrooms right next to the castle. I let the boy go first (he performed a nice quick dump complete with the customary "Good Job" from me as we were still reinforcing the potty training mantras...) then I of course sit down and perform my own glorious #2 complete with a nice "squeaky door" fart which had the offspring in hysterics. At this point the child starts saying in a voice that can only be described as booming "GOOD JOB DADDY! YOU'RE THE BEST POOPER I KNOW!"

This of course led to chuckles from the long line of stalls populated by other fathers...The chuckles ended up turning into outright laughter...I was so proud of my pooping abilities.

Well, I'm somewhat shameless, so I clean up and go wash my hands to find that I'm now getting the nods of approval from everyone in the can who heard the interchange. I was the best pooper at disneyworld that day...and internally embarrassed and entertained at the same time.

Explodo86 , DocChewbacca Report

Final score:

286points

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Adrienne Mcginley 2 years ago

You were Super Pooper!

85points

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online I was in Costco and my son (who was about 5 at the time) ran up to me, grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the next aisle. “Dad! Dad! Look! Real ninjas!” Whilst pointing at two women in full Burkas

longmover79 , Herry Lawford Report

Final score:

285points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

Could have been ninjas in disguise.

116points

Whitt_tthe_S**tt , Johnny Silvercloud Report

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My son was 2 and thought every black man was his dad. He was away for the military a while so when we were at Boston Market he called another random stranger “daddy!!” And ran to him and hugged him. Hahaha the guy actually picked him up and said “I’m not you’re dad but hey buddy!”

I was mortified but couldn’t stop laughing.

Final score:

272points

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Lulxby 2 years ago

Awww!

68points

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My youngest sibling is 10+ years my junior, so I grew up with him embarrassing me in public.

The worst was around Christmas one year when we went to Walmart after going to a church service. The service was about the virgin birth and how no other virgin had ever had a baby before. My brother was probably about 4-5 at the time, so while he didn't know exactly what made someone a virgin, that service taught him virgins couldn't have babies.

Anyway, we're in the check out line and behind us is a woman who is obviously pregnant. My brother points to her and says very loudly, "Look, that lady isn't a virgin"!

nuggetblaster69 , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

255points

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everyone's favorite person 2 years ago

well, I mean... he's not wrong

150points

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Not me but my midwife.

Pregnant with second child, three year old daughter asks why mummy’s belly is so big. She’s told there’s a baby in there.

She turns to daddy and asks “do you have a baby in there too?” Dad replies gently “No, I’m just fat!”

A few days later in the checkout line and there’s a very large lady behind them in the line.

The little girl asks the lady “Do you have a baby in your tummy like my mummy?”

The lady is kind and just says no she doesn’t, to which the girl responds “oh just fat then?”

notmax , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

239points

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Candela Gagopinto 2 years ago

that is a level 10 embarrassment, that's the highest level yet

109points

cricket9818 , Seattle Parks and Recreation Report

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online So my younger brother was 5/6 years old. My dad was coaching my basketball team (was in 7th grade) and my brother came along to hang out at the practice. Now my brother has Asperger's so of course at that age social awareness is non-existent. There are a few black kids on the team and my brother was learning about Martin Luther King Jr. as it was around the time of the holiday. So his brain is processing.

During the practice my brother is standing under the basket as we're doing lay up lines. All of a sudden as one of the black kids goes past him my brother goes, "Are you an African-American?" and my friend chuckles and goes "Uh, yeah" and my brother with a completely dead serious face and tone just goes

"I knew it."

Whole team was rolling on the floor laughing.

Final score:

237points

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glowworm2 2 years ago

At least everyone took it well!

90points

#10

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Not really embarrassing but my son once announced to daycare that I had died. It was a severe shock to them when I picked him up.

Now my niece once announced at a family dinner that she wanted a f**k, loudly. We all turned and looked at this little 3 year old and her mother said she'd work on speech therapy with her as she handed her daughter a FORK.

AngryZen_Ingress , Tabitha Blue Report

Final score:

220points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

A friend had a 3 year old when the the Toy Story film with Forky came out. Forky became the child's favourite character. Cue lots of excited shouting whenever he saw Forky in advertisements around town and in public places. He would loudly shout "Me want F*cky!".

87points

#11

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online There is a man who lives in our village with no arms, Mr M. His children attended my sons nursery so he has met him many times.

We were in a packed doctors waiting room one day and Mr M came in.

Son, at full volume: Look mummy! There's Mr M that I told you about. He has no arms! Look! LOOOOK! [Pointing]

At this point the whole waiting room, in true British style, have turned their heads in the opposite direction to Mr M, and are actively trying NOT to look while similarly avoiding eye-contact with me, and the 'disrespectful small child' who draws attention to peoples disabilities.

Me: Ah yes, that is Mr M. We see him at school don't we.

Son: Yeah, he came in to talk to us one day, [oh gosh what is coming next....] he drives his car with his feet! [Please don't say more...] He is TOTALLY AWESOME!

[massive sigh of relief!] Yeah dude, he really is!

RainingBlood398 , Deryck Hodge Report

Final score:

219points

POST

JB 2 years ago

What happens when a child points out that ‘other’ abled is nothing to be ashamed of and has super awesome qualities. On average, people have fewer than four limbs. We’re all great!

92points

#12

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online I was in target with my 4 year old boy twins. One has a nervous habit of grabbing his parts. I quietly said to him “let go, hands off dude” and he yells at the top of his lungs “BUT MAMA MY PENIS WONT GO DOWN!” I don’t think I’ve ever left target so fast.

BadHorse042 , Jo Jakeman Report

Final score:

196points

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Hulkfreeze 2 years ago

That... That picture... Why does it even exist? 🙈

116points

#13

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My daughter was with me in a crowded dressing room and complimented me on my nice nipples. I could hear laughter from the other stalls.

laughingcow2012 , daveynin Report

Final score:

178points

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June’s Very Own 2 years ago

Lmao 😂

40points

#14

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Me and my 3 y.o were at my moms house & to get her to leave I told her, cmon we have to go home and take a shower, to make her laugh I said we need a shower because our bums are stinky

Later when we got home in a full elevator, my daughter turns to me and says, " Mom you need to shower because your bum is stinky"

I was mortified.

mmartinho94 , Spring Dew Report

Final score:

164points

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Lulxby 2 years ago (edited)

Hey, maybe your bum WAS stinky!

50points

King Kashue 2 years ago

3 year old is probably at just the right height to be an excellent, if unintentional, judge.

9points

May 2 years ago

This one is on you

16points

Carol Emory 2 years ago

I've learned to never say anything to a toddler you wouldn't want loudly announced in a public place. They love broadcasting new phrases they've learned.

14points

Julieandthephatones 2 years ago

the fact that i read sticky twice!!!🤦‍♀️

2points

Tim 2 years ago

She would know better, she is closer.

1point

Joe D 2 years ago

she was probably at the perfect height to judge that?

1point

Neal Patrick 2 years ago

Why would you say that to get a laugh?

0points

My O My 2 years ago

My kids would think it's funny

0points

#15

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My mom loves to tell this story.

We were at Catholic mass. I was 2-3 years old. They ring the altar bell in mass at some point. They ring it, the church is dead quiet, and I screamed "Telephone!!!"

daleksarecoming , Shane Byrd Report

Final score:

161points

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Adrienne Mcginley 2 years ago

Answer it! It's GOD calling!

96points

#16

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Four year old son was misbehaving in a store, and I told him if he didn't control himself we were going to leave. He escalated, and I picked him up and carried him through the entire store. He was surprisingly putting up little fight. As we pass the checkout lanes he loudly says "Hey mister, put me down!" I didn't hesitate, didn't make eye contact with anyone, just turned beet red and kept marching out the door.

VVHYY , jonty.fisher Report

Final score:

154points

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Zoe's Mom 2 years ago

I think it's scary that no one paid attention.

131points

#17

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Carrying my daughter back from the bathroom through a crowded hipster brunch spot while she shouted 'HE FARTED!!' at every single table. In case there was any confusion she was also pointing at my face.

flippenzee , Quaries Official Report

Final score:

140points

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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

Lil fart snitches..

57points

#18

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My wife had my 3 year old at the park one day. She decided to pick up some litter to make the park look nicer so she was throwing away pop bottles, chip bags etc and he wanted to help.

He stoops to pick up some cigarette butts and my wife says leave those to mommy (she wasn't going to pick them up but didn't want him to touch them either).

A few minutes later he has gone to play. He tells another mom, "I'm finding cigarettes for mommy".

My wife was so embarrassed and said she got the dirtiest looks from near by parents who heard this.

Thisguysciences , jstanley3 Report

Final score:

137points

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Valentina Toloy 2 years ago

Embarrassed why? Just say "yeah we are actually cleaning, some people are fu*king filthy"

7points

#19

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online At a fairly nice restaurant my brother was teasing my daughter, and my daughter screamed at him to stop and threatened to call him the N word.

(The N word was nipple)

GaijinSama , FamilySibaja Report

Final score:

127points

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Nathaniel 2 years ago (edited)

"What's up my nipple?"

122points

wickedcreative , Franklin Park Library Report

#20

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My two year old and I were waiting in line at Nordstrom. She was being so quiet and so patient so I decided to reward her by purchasing a Melissa and Doug stamp set. As soon as we got to the checkout, she randomly announced to the girl that was checking us out, “Mommy has a penis.” I just stood there for a moment, expressionless, wondering where in the f**k that came from before I finally said, “yeah...I don’t.” The lady just stared at me, forced a smile and replied “have a nice day.”

We’ve also been talking a lot about my pregnancy and wondering whether the baby is a boy or girl. Somehow that must have raised some questions in my daughter’s head because she announced to daycare that “daddy decided he wants to be a girl so he is going to become a girl.” Daycare never mentioned it until our daughter told us this at dinner one night and we about died. Asked the teacher if she had, in fact, stated that...her teacher said, “yes, she did. It seemed sensitive so obviously we didn’t want to mention it.” (My husband is NOT transitioning).

Ahh, kids. Love them.

Final score:

124points

POST

T Reynolds 2 years ago

My son at about two decided to announce at a family dinner party the complete list of everyone in the room who had a penis. The list included fifteen people of various genders. Apparently, my mother and I were the only two people in the room who did not have penises.

65points

Llamageddon24 , Universidade de Brasília Report

#21

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My best friend is gay. He and his partner have lovingly been called “the gays” at our house after a slip up when calling them “the guys” came out as “the gays”, which they thought was funny and began to call themselves that. It caught on after a while. Picking up dinner one night at the grocery store, my daughter asked if they were coming over to eat with us, as they do once or twice a week. My best friend tends to tease my daughter who, at 5, can be sensitive to it. I said no and she replied by loudly exclaiming for all to hear: “Thank God, because I hate the gays!”

Final score:

122points

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Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago

Oh my goodness 😆

53points

#22

My oldest Daughter and I used to run away from my Wife when we went shopping. One time, we got particularly far away and I asked her what do you wanna do now that Mom can't stop us?

She exclaimed loudly, near others, "We can punch a stranger!"

openletter8 Report

Final score:

115points

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Ruby 2 years ago

That is hilarious. Perfect response to a perfect situation. 🤣🤣🤣

53points

#23

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My child isn’t old enough to talk yet but when I was little and we were on holiday my dad used to get me to say I was younger than I was so we could get into theme parks cheaper. When we were on our way back, the gentleman at passport control asked me how old I was and I turned to my dad and said “how old am I today daddy?”

Anonymousse228 , Katja Hasselkus Report

Final score:

114points

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Mary Rose Kent 2 years ago

Roops!

30points

#24

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online When I was little (under 5) my dad would jokingly ask if I wanted a cold beer. I would always respond with "no." Until one day when we were in the grocery store, he asked if I wanted anything, to which I replied: "a cold beer" while we were standing in line.

foshjowler , haljackey Report

Final score:

111points

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M O'Connell 2 years ago

Better than one of those barbaric room-temperature beers.

50points

#25

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online When he was being humped by a puppy, and me yelling at the puppy to stop.

"DON'T YELL AT HIM! HE LOVES ME!"

I guess he's not wrong...

Rupispupis , MozartFoto Report

Final score:

109points

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Ruby 2 years ago

The puppy in the pic is SO CUTE 🥺

51points

#26

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My friend's kid once asked his mom's female friend where her boobs were (The friend had much smaller breasts than his mom). That was certainly awkward for everyone present.

Diplomat_Smurf , Ben Seidelman Report

Final score:

103points

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Lulxby 2 years ago

Gotta love an honest kid, am i right ;)

29points

#27

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My son came home from kindergarten with his backpack full of canned food. When pressed about the issue he confidently stated that he had told the teacher he was hungry and we didn't have any food at home! They had sent him home with the donations for those in need!! We got him to return the food the next day... Its a funny story we tell now but talk about embarrassed!!!

twillsteele , David Mulder Report

Final score:

103points

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June’s Very Own 2 years ago

Lovely to see the kindness shown by the kindergarten and people that donated!

73points

#28

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online I was with a group of friends and was asked if I drink. I said I don't really, and my daughter said "but mom, you drink all the time." She had no idea the difference between drinking alcohol and drinking everything else.

TishraDR , Ivan Radic Report

Final score:

100points

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Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago (edited)

I only realised that at age 10 and would get confused whenever there were those “don’t drink while driving” warnings, I assumed it meant no juice and water for the driver.

50points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#29

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online When my cousin was about 2 she still occasionally took baths with her mom, my aunt. One night we're at their house for dinner, out of nowhere, she blurts out at my uncle, "Daddy, you got hair on your peepee, too?!" And that was the first and only time in my life I nearly required the Heimlich maneuver.

dcbluestar , Iain WatsonFollow Report

Final score:

100points

POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

Oh I could say something about this but my wife looks at this site and would most definitely kill me if I posted it...

61points

#30

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My friends daughter (~2.5 y/o) saw another kid in the grocery store with a toy truck, and out of nowhere says “I want that f****n’ truck...” in an angry tone

Not the funniest thing to read, I know, but we’ve been saying that in a baby voice for the last few years and it always cracks us up.

thebroklahoman , puuikibeach Report

Final score:

97points

POST

Bi bird️‍y 2 years ago

My little sis (3-4) would yell "what the f*ck hell!?" It was hilarious!🤣🤣

31points

#31

Was eating at a Chinese restaurant when the waiter and the cook were having a discussion in Chinese. 8 yr old daughter yells out “WHY THEY SPEAKING SPANISH?” Embarrassing to say the least. Went back a couple of months later and the waiter remembered us cause after taking our orders he says “ I’ll return andele’ “

Damn.

younggohan81 Report

Final score:

87points

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Valentina Toloy 2 years ago

Why is that embarrasing? Like the poor kid is supoosed to know how every language sounds?. I was out with my niece once. We went to a chinese supermarket. The dudes at the cash register where speaking among themselves in their own language and their spanish was quite broken. My niece asks why they speak "funny", I simply asked what language it was (cantonese) and explained to her why they talked "different". She said it sounded awesome and we left the store. No embarrasment.

13points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#32

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online My two year old had a short-lived habit of saying "See ya, suckers" when we would leave a place.

Dr_Treebeard , Quinn Dombrowski Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago

See ya suckers

37points

#33

Not my kid, but I took my nephew, now 11, to the mall once when he was about 3/4, and this girl started talking to us. She thought it was so cute that I brought my nephew to the mall and how I was such a good uncle, until...my nephew says, “ Uncle x, likes to beat me”. There was no coming back from that. I had never laid a hand on him, but damned if I wasn’t thinking about it then. All I can do now is laugh, and wait for revenge.

Indy_Photographer Report

Final score:

85points

POST

June’s Very Own 2 years ago

Beat him? In mariokart I hope he meant!

38points

#34

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online “Are those your boobies Mom?”

Loudly. At a church Nativity play 🤦🏼‍♀️

For all asking, yes, he was right, the question was accompanied by a vigorous patting motion on my chest

darknite132 , vishal charles Report

Final score:

77points

POST

Mary Rose Kent 2 years ago

It’s always important to make sure you’ve got your facts straight.

39points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#35

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online After hearing the phrase in a movie, my little one yelled,"Put me down you idiot!" in church.

Librariankat98 , oddharmonic Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Ꮋꭼꮮꮮꭺ-ꮪꮻꮜꭱꮯꭺɴꭰꭹ 2 years ago

Oof

20points

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#36

I don’t have a kid but my mother has never let me live this one down.

The backstory for this story is that a few days before this situation my mom was showering with me and I asked her about “her pink.” And after some questions she realized I was talking about her vagina so she tells me “that’s my vagina, it’s supposed to be pink.”

So now that you have the necessary background info, I can tell you our situation. My mom was in the checkout line at the grocery store, loading up the conveyor belt, and I turned to the cashier and dropped this little gem: “my mommy’s ‘gina is pink. Is your ‘gina pink too?”

My mom said that both her and the cashier turned bright red and they finished the transaction in silence.

Zemilyxi Report

Final score:

43points

POST

ChickyChicky 2 years ago

Vagina is on the inside. Vulva is on the outside. Reminds me a potty training book that said "boys have penises, girls have vaginas." False equivalency, girls don't pee out of their vagina.

4points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#37

Not a parent but when my family and I were on vacation in Yellowstone/Custers Last Stand there was a Native American man dressed as a warrior doing a photo shoot. My little brother about 3 at the time yells out loud DAD THERES STILL ONE LEFT! The man was a good sport and started laughing. Even got a picture with him later in the day.

loganhoppe Report

Final score:

41points

POST

Kipper 2 years ago

Actually quite sad......

16points

keenly_disinterested Report

#38

At a restaurant. Wife was late-term preggers with second child. Had been telling the first (the toddler) that her mom's belly was big because she had a baby in there. Large woman walks by our table. Toddler's eyes get big; she shouts, "Look mom! That lady has a baby in her butt!"

Final score:

40points

POST

BoredBirb 2 years ago

7points

#39

After his little sister was born my toddler announce to the parking garage that she, "came out of mommy's magina!" So that was nice ...

boneandbrine Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Adrienne Mcginley 2 years ago

It's a magic vagina!

19points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#40

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online After watching 101 Dalmatians the day before, I was grocery shopping with my daughter. We crossed paths with an old Lady in a somewhat dirty church suit and tons of makeup with sloppy red lipstick. My daughter points at her and says, "daddy, that's a bad lady". The lady did kind of look like Cruela DeVille...

El__Jeffe , brent steffey Report

Final score:

38points

POST

Alizabeth Smith 2 years ago

Sounds like my 4th grade teacher

7points

#41

Austin Texas Trail of Lights

We come upon [this display of armadillos](https://i.imgur.com/UvuFp5Z.jpg).

I ask my 5-year-old, "what are those?"

Loudly, she replies, "Mexicans!"

I wanted to crawl under a rock.

It was either this or the time she proudly announced, "MY DADDY PEES STANDING UP AND FARTS!"

mareksoon Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

Yeah, they love to tell on ya when you fart.

19points

#42

I personally don't have any toddlers, but when I was 3 I introduced myself to strangers like so.

"My name is Maybe_Black_Mesa, and I'm an alcoholic."

Parents couldn't afford a sitter so I attended a few AA meetings.

Maybe_Black_Mesa Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Anita Jonsdottir 2 years ago

❤

0points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#43

While pointing to a random guys chest at a swimming pool, screaming Nipple! Niiiiiiiipple!

SantaKrew Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Will sell soul for corn chip 2 years ago

niiipppllllleee

12points

#44

Not a parent, but when I was a toddler I was on a plane flying back from Spain. I cried the whole way because I couldn’t pop my ears.

As we get off the plane, I suddenly brighten up, smile at the air hostess and say:

‘My daddy has a bald head and a big w***y!’

She uncomfortably laughed and my bald headed dad shooed me down the steps after saying ‘well she’s right about one of them’

AnIraqiCamper Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Danielle Bennett 2 years ago

Kids say the darnedest things

12points

#45

My son has a knack for remembering songs after only hearing them once or twice. I didn't realize that he knew "Let's Get It On" until we were at the supermarket and he started singing along really loudly. Funny, but also mortifying.

krissym99 Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Candela Gagopinto 2 years ago

thats the same story i have but with me as a 4 year old

7points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#46

Had my toddler son walk into the bathroom at Target with me. He immediately said “oh man it stinks in here.” Followed by... “ I think the smell is coming from those shoes” as he bent over looking under the stalls..

peepscantknowus Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

Heh...Happened to me once,but I was the one in the stall. I t hit me and I had to poo desperately...find a bathroom,hit the stall and proceed to utterly destroy the atmosphere. It was ferocious. Enter guy and a kid...Kid: Dad it stinks in here...Dad: shhhhh... Kid: But Dad, it smells really BAD! Dad: SHHHHH...HUSH.. And I'm about to DIE from holding back the laughter.

27points

#47

Not mine, but my aunt was pregnant with her second kid when they were going to the grocery store. her son was probably 4 at the time and had recently found out that he was going to have a new brother/sister. So it was fresh in his mind. As they were walking into the store, a black family was walking out with their baby girl, and my cousin points at that baby and says "I don't want one like that, mommy." My aunt quickly says "He means he wants a brother." That cover probably didn't save her that much, but I probably wouldn't have been able to even come up with that in the moment.

Seamlesslytango Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Kenny Earthling 2 years ago

Awkward!

13points

meta_uprising , Anastasia Pavlenko Report

#48

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online Daughter was practicing ballet. Me and my 4 year old son were in the room behind the glass which is full of families watching and waiting. I was showing my son youtube videos to keep him calm. He says "Why are we watching naked spiderman videos"?

Final score:

26points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

Yes, why were you watching naked Spiderman movies?

30points

#49

So this is something I said as a toddler, apparently.

I was developmentally delayed, so had to go to a child therapist until I was 5. When I was about 4, we were in the waiting room with a bunch of other kids and teenagers and their parents. I was walking around, minding my own business. I was pretty nonverbal (part of the reason I was in therapy), so generally didn't talk.

I suddenly stopped in front of this one teenager. I point to her face and scream "Face *ugly*!"

My mom is mortified. Not only is it a terrible thing to say, I said it to a teenager who was already in therapy. She pulling me and chastising me "Dragonmeme, that is an *ugly* thing to say!" but the damage was done.

DragonMeme Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Tweaked 2 years ago

This reminds me of when I was in a bakery with my son, probably about 4 at the time. He looked at the teenager infront of us and just said very loudly while pointing.. 'Why does he has such an angry face?'

12points

#50

35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online When my son was 4, and watched Space Jam, he thought every black man was Michael Jordan. When we would go somewhere, he would point at every black man he saw and yell "Michael Jordan!"

anon , Gage Skidmore Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

Umm..... Accidental racism here? The pic is the wrong Michael Jordan...... Do they all look alike?

26points

#51

I play Hitman 2 a lot, sometimes with my 3 year old daughter watching. We were at the grocery store recently and there was an older gentleman who looked like he had just come out of a church service, he was all dressed up and shiny bald to boot. My daughter yells out, "Look Dad! It's a Hitman!"

anon Report

Final score:

20points

POST

CrazyDogLady 2 years ago

Last week, very quiet waiting room at urology full of middle aged to elderly men. My 4 y.o. in his very clear voice: "Mum, do they all have rotten weenies?"

16points

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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What do you think ?

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

When I was 3 my mum took me to a hearing clinic. The nurse kept wanting me to respond to her, but instead I ignored her and played with whatever toys they had. She wanted to note me down as being profoundly deaf, telling my mum the only reason I would respond to her was due to me reading her lips. . As we were leaving, me racing ahead, back towards my mum, she asks "want some ice cream on the way home?" and I happily shouted "Yes please!"

18points

MonsterMum 2 years ago

It's quite sad that a lot of normal healthy questions and observations by children are shut down as being 'embarrassing'. Maybe adults need to stop being so easily embarrassed?

15points

Fiona Parky 2 years ago

This isn’t a toddler moment but I hope it counts because it’s certainly an embarrassment! I’m a puppy raiser for Guide Dogs in the Uk. As part of puppy’s socialisation we’re supposed to take them to lots of events and stuff. I took “tiny toothy terror” AKA Guide Dog Puppy, to a lecture about local history in the town hall. She was so well behaved that I don’t think more people knew she was there. That’s until the end. There was a round of applause for the speaker, my guide dog puppy got up and took a bow.

14points

Fiona Parky 2 years ago

Just an edit. “Tiny toothy terror” did qualify as a Guide Dog and is now working wonderfully for her new owner. So far she’s completely stolen the show at every event

15points

Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago

Why oldest son who is now 16 couldn't pronounce popcorn as a wee guy, probably around 3, so when in the cinema he would loudly proclaim he wanted some "c**k porn" - was brilliant. I like to remind him of this every so often much to his dismay

7points

BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago

Took my 3 year old to preschool and brought my 1 week old baby. It was the first time she’d seen her friends and she was telling everyone about her new sister. Then she announced to everyone, “And Mommy feeds her with these!” While patting my boobs. The other parents thought that was hilarious.

6points

QueenJB 2 years ago

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child I used to wear my husbands boxers to sleep in because they were the only thing that fit! One day my 2 yr old daughter was watching my husband get dressed. When we arrived at nursery she announced to her teachers that Daddy was wearing mummy's knickers today!

5points

Spannidandoolar 2 years ago

I bought my son new sunglasses and my husband told him he looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger and got him to say "I'll be back" and "We've got to get to ze chopper" etc. in a deep voice. Clearly my son loved this but now shouts "We've got to get Suzy Chocolate!" Whenever he wears his sunglasses.

5points

Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago

I'm not sure if it's just that I'm not easily embarrassed or other folk are sensitive, but majority of these I don't find embarrassing- kids are inquisitive and soak up information but it doesn't always mean they understand the context of some things. Sure, some if these are funny and I would've laughed at them, but I wouldn't have been embarrassed. Maybe after being a mum for almost 18yrs and having 4 of the wee terrors I'm just immune now

5points

Stephanie Paich 2 years ago

When my younger cousin was about 2, his mother was pregnant and I was about 14. He patted my DD cup breast one day and said "Is there a baby in there?" Lol, solid logic little man but no.

4points

ButterflyMcQueen 2 years ago

My brother and I are 12 years apart in age, and as a teen I was forced to babysit during all vacations. As a toddler my brother would follow me around calling me mom. He didn't learn my actual name until he was about 9. It was super embarrassing 😳 😕

4points

WoodenLion 2 years ago

i only made it to #26 'cause i wanted to tell you this. when my son was born in 1983 he had dark hair all over him, which fell out. many multi-race people in the newborn viewing room. after the 3rd attempt at pointing out the son to his 5 year old sister - she exclaimed: " I wanted a white baby !" we are white. it got some looks.

4points

Island Girl 2 years ago

When I went into labor at 28 weeks, I had to stay in hospital until the birth. My daughter was four at the time and knew I was in hospital because of the pregnancy. After the baby was born and we were about to go home, my husband put her in her capsule and we began to leave, miss 4 yelled out aghast, "wait, are we taking it home????" Seemingly I was in the hospital just to get the baby out and leave.

4points

Leslie Crittenden 2 years ago

I'm sorry, what's a capsule? I can infer it's some kind of baby carrier or baby seat, but why "capsule"? As far as I know they're usually shaped like car seats or sometimes baskets

1point

MentallyStablePerson 2 years ago

Back when I was 4 we were in a lobby of a clinic, there were toys and one of those fancy Juice Dispenser, So I was playing with the bowling toy, and I accidentally toppled down the juice dispenser, perfect time that the doctor entered the lobby, the floor has a juice puddle, my parents just dead silent, me also silent and not moving a muscle. I would never forget this lol

4points

ChocolateCake 2 years ago

My parents were getting married and I was already born then (I was like 1 1/2?). Anyway, after the vows, they got to the part where "You may kiss the bride." Just before that happened I ran up to my parents and shouted "No, no, no, no, no!" And then farted. Loudly.

3points

Mud spider 2 years ago

I was once looking at memes during online learning, I saw the buff Winnie the Pooh meme template (who here knows what I’m talking about?) and I unmuted to answer a question and my two year old sister blurts out quite loudly “MY SISSY IS LOOKING AT PICTURES OF POOH” the teacher looked so so confused…

3points

Tiny Dancer 2 years ago (edited)

My autistic son was about 5 and hadn't been talking long. I read to him a lot. We had to match up the main cast of the stories with a friend or family member in order for him to be able to "settle down" and listen. I'd be Beauty to his Beast, his Nana would be Snow White (HA!), whatever the latest obsession was. So, one day, the poor little old ladies at the grocery checkout were shocked to hear him holler out, "Mom's the Tramp!", followed after a beat by "Nana's a Lady and Mom's a Tramp!". Good times. He's 34 now and has much better manners.

3points

Phara from Flanders 2 years ago

Once my son (3-ish) was staring at a woman in a wheelchair. I see him open his mouth. My heart sinks. He yells: "look mommy, she has the same handbag was you!" Never been more relieved🙃 he was right by the way.

2points

Lauren Caswell 2 years ago

We went to a local church when I was little, and there were not many children at all. Nevertheless, they had organised a party one day for us after the main service. I have been told that apparently I was so impatient I yelled out "When's the party?!" during prayer. This was the same church where during Nativity at Christmas, I disappeared and was found outside on the donkey, and I also played Mary and shoved another boy down who got too close to me on stage 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I'm glad I was not smited 😅

2points

PADNA 2 years ago

Mine will get burried but here it is: Once in a kindergarten, tutors were trying to ask whether there are any alcoholism in children families. So she asked "raise your hands if your parents drink". My brother, 4, without missing a beat, raised his hand - mommy and daddy d drink coffee after all. Our parents were summoned into kindergarten for further inspection...

1point

Phara from Flanders 2 years ago

Public toilets in the airport. My toddler wants to open the door, so I scream "no!" He answers: "yes, you don't wantb people to see your euh, you know, where babies come out of!". I refuse to use cutesy words for private body parts, but I guess vulva and vagina did not stick from our biology lesson weeks before 🙈

1point

Brittany Morrison 2 years ago

When I was really young I begged my parents to let me take my baby doll into the store. They agreed as long as I promised to carry it, which only lasted about 10 minutes. My grandma took the doll and carried it by it’s hand. The problem: this doll was extremely life-like. Not only did she get dirty looks, multiple people came up to her yelling at her for holding a child that way. She was super embarrassed and had to explain it was just my doll

1point

Rachel 2 years ago (edited)

I used to work with children. One day I stuck my hand in my pocket, 2/3 yo boy looks at me and says that I'm not supposed to that. When I asked why he said that I would get pee on my hand. His mom was in the other room laughing, as I tried to explain what pockets were and that it was okay.

1point

Rhianna Hollowaye 4 months ago

When I was three or four, my mum used to take me swimming a lot. One day, when a very hairy man walked past us, I yelled 'mummy, that man looks like a monkey!' She nearly died on the spot

0points

Agent 8433599 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

POST

Nathaniel 2 years ago

18points

MonsterMum 2 years ago

It's quite sad that a lot of normal healthy questions and observations by children are shut down as being 'embarrassing'. Maybe adults need to stop being so easily embarrassed?

15points

Fiona Parky 2 years ago

14points

Fiona Parky 2 years ago

Just an edit. “Tiny toothy terror” did qualify as a Guide Dog and is now working wonderfully for her new owner. So far she’s completely stolen the show at every event

15points

Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago

7points

BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago

6points

QueenJB 2 years ago

5points

Spannidandoolar 2 years ago

5points

Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago

5points

Stephanie Paich 2 years ago

When my younger cousin was about 2, his mother was pregnant and I was about 14. He patted my DD cup breast one day and said "Is there a baby in there?" Lol, solid logic little man but no.

4points

ButterflyMcQueen 2 years ago

4points

WoodenLion 2 years ago

4points

Island Girl 2 years ago

4points

Leslie Crittenden 2 years ago

I'm sorry, what's a capsule? I can infer it's some kind of baby carrier or baby seat, but why "capsule"? As far as I know they're usually shaped like car seats or sometimes baskets

1point