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35 Times Toddlers Took Embarrassing Parents Or Nearby Adults To The Next Level, As Shared By Folks Online
Most adults will, sooner or later, run into a situation where they’ll say something embarrassing, whether it be an inappropriate joke or something that’s plain old stupid, or anything in between.
So, what chance does a toddler have at controlling their tongue, let alone their impulsive thoughts? Well, parents online have been sharing some of the most embarrassing experiences they’ve ever had with their toddlers in a viral Reddit post. It managed to draw in over 45,500 upvotes and nearly 14,000 comments.
Bored Panda invites you to scroll down to see the best responses from the thread, and why not vote and comment on the ones you enjoyed the most? Oh, and don’t forget to share your kid stories if you’re a parent yourself, or have heard parent friends tell their tales of embarrassment.
More Info: Reddit
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#1
Disclaimer: this was not my toddler, but a toddler said this to me while I was waiting in the grocery line: “I have a vagina and new party shoes!”
Really, what else do you need?
RELATED:
#2
During a private Remembrance Day (Armistice Day) ceremony with veterans, my 3-year-old soiled her diaper. I changed her in a back room and when we came out, it was the moment of silence. She slammed the door and yelled to all the vets, “I just had a BIG poo! And it had PEANUTS in it!”
#3
At the grocery store, my daughter, who was 2 at the time, and I were about to pass an African American lady in an aisle. At this point, she had never seen anyone with a darker skin color such as hers. She’s about 2 feet from us. So, she sees her, turns to me and *yells* (while pointing), “look Mom!!! It’s a chocolate lady!!!”. I froze for a sec, said “yes honey, isn’t she beautiful?”. She yells yes, and I practically ran away down the aisle. That poor lady was such a good sport.
BONUS. We met a man with a hook for a hand and she sprinted up to him to ask him if he was Captain Hook. *facepalm*
Luckily, he said yes and pretended to run after her.
#4
Took my 3 year old to Disneyworld. Of course after about an hour in the park, both I and the offspring have to go to the bathroom. We head off to one of the main bathrooms right next to the castle. I let the boy go first (he performed a nice quick dump complete with the customary "Good Job" from me as we were still reinforcing the potty training mantras...) then I of course sit down and perform my own glorious #2 complete with a nice "squeaky door" fart which had the offspring in hysterics. At this point the child starts saying in a voice that can only be described as booming "GOOD JOB DADDY! YOU'RE THE BEST POOPER I KNOW!"
This of course led to chuckles from the long line of stalls populated by other fathers...The chuckles ended up turning into outright laughter...I was so proud of my pooping abilities.
Well, I'm somewhat shameless, so I clean up and go wash my hands to find that I'm now getting the nods of approval from everyone in the can who heard the interchange. I was the best pooper at disneyworld that day...and internally embarrassed and entertained at the same time.
#5
I was in Costco and my son (who was about 5 at the time) ran up to me, grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the next aisle. “Dad! Dad! Look! Real ninjas!” Whilst pointing at two women in full Burkas
#6
My son was 2 and thought every black man was his dad. He was away for the military a while so when we were at Boston Market he called another random stranger “daddy!!” And ran to him and hugged him. Hahaha the guy actually picked him up and said “I’m not you’re dad but hey buddy!”
I was mortified but couldn’t stop laughing.
#7
My youngest sibling is 10+ years my junior, so I grew up with him embarrassing me in public.
The worst was around Christmas one year when we went to Walmart after going to a church service. The service was about the virgin birth and how no other virgin had ever had a baby before. My brother was probably about 4-5 at the time, so while he didn't know exactly what made someone a virgin, that service taught him virgins couldn't have babies.
Anyway, we're in the check out line and behind us is a woman who is obviously pregnant. My brother points to her and says very loudly, "Look, that lady isn't a virgin"!
#8
Not me but my midwife.
Pregnant with second child, three year old daughter asks why mummy’s belly is so big. She’s told there’s a baby in there.
She turns to daddy and asks “do you have a baby in there too?” Dad replies gently “No, I’m just fat!”
A few days later in the checkout line and there’s a very large lady behind them in the line.
The little girl asks the lady “Do you have a baby in your tummy like my mummy?”
The lady is kind and just says no she doesn’t, to which the girl responds “oh just fat then?”
#9
So my younger brother was 5/6 years old. My dad was coaching my basketball team (was in 7th grade) and my brother came along to hang out at the practice. Now my brother has Asperger's so of course at that age social awareness is non-existent. There are a few black kids on the team and my brother was learning about Martin Luther King Jr. as it was around the time of the holiday. So his brain is processing.
During the practice my brother is standing under the basket as we're doing lay up lines. All of a sudden as one of the black kids goes past him my brother goes, "Are you an African-American?" and my friend chuckles and goes "Uh, yeah" and my brother with a completely dead serious face and tone just goes
"I knew it."
Whole team was rolling on the floor laughing.
#10
Not really embarrassing but my son once announced to daycare that I had died. It was a severe shock to them when I picked him up.
Now my niece once announced at a family dinner that she wanted a f**k, loudly. We all turned and looked at this little 3 year old and her mother said she'd work on speech therapy with her as she handed her daughter a FORK.
#11
There is a man who lives in our village with no arms, Mr M. His children attended my sons nursery so he has met him many times.
We were in a packed doctors waiting room one day and Mr M came in.
Son, at full volume: Look mummy! There's Mr M that I told you about. He has no arms! Look! LOOOOK! [Pointing]
At this point the whole waiting room, in true British style, have turned their heads in the opposite direction to Mr M, and are actively trying NOT to look while similarly avoiding eye-contact with me, and the 'disrespectful small child' who draws attention to peoples disabilities.
Me: Ah yes, that is Mr M. We see him at school don't we.
Son: Yeah, he came in to talk to us one day, [oh gosh what is coming next....] he drives his car with his feet! [Please don't say more...] He is TOTALLY AWESOME!
[massive sigh of relief!] Yeah dude, he really is!
#12
I was in target with my 4 year old boy twins. One has a nervous habit of grabbing his parts. I quietly said to him “let go, hands off dude” and he yells at the top of his lungs “BUT MAMA MY PENIS WONT GO DOWN!” I don’t think I’ve ever left target so fast.
#13
My daughter was with me in a crowded dressing room and complimented me on my nice nipples. I could hear laughter from the other stalls.
#14
Me and my 3 y.o were at my moms house & to get her to leave I told her, cmon we have to go home and take a shower, to make her laugh I said we need a shower because our bums are stinky
Later when we got home in a full elevator, my daughter turns to me and says, " Mom you need to shower because your bum is stinky"
I was mortified.
#15
My mom loves to tell this story.
We were at Catholic mass. I was 2-3 years old. They ring the altar bell in mass at some point. They ring it, the church is dead quiet, and I screamed "Telephone!!!"
#16
Four year old son was misbehaving in a store, and I told him if he didn't control himself we were going to leave. He escalated, and I picked him up and carried him through the entire store. He was surprisingly putting up little fight. As we pass the checkout lanes he loudly says "Hey mister, put me down!" I didn't hesitate, didn't make eye contact with anyone, just turned beet red and kept marching out the door.
#17
Carrying my daughter back from the bathroom through a crowded hipster brunch spot while she shouted 'HE FARTED!!' at every single table. In case there was any confusion she was also pointing at my face.
#18
My wife had my 3 year old at the park one day. She decided to pick up some litter to make the park look nicer so she was throwing away pop bottles, chip bags etc and he wanted to help.
He stoops to pick up some cigarette butts and my wife says leave those to mommy (she wasn't going to pick them up but didn't want him to touch them either).
A few minutes later he has gone to play. He tells another mom, "I'm finding cigarettes for mommy".
My wife was so embarrassed and said she got the dirtiest looks from near by parents who heard this.
Valentina Toloy 2 years ago
Embarrassed why? Just say "yeah we are actually cleaning, some people are fu*king filthy"
#19
At a fairly nice restaurant my brother was teasing my daughter, and my daughter screamed at him to stop and threatened to call him the N word.
(The N word was nipple)
#20
My two year old and I were waiting in line at Nordstrom. She was being so quiet and so patient so I decided to reward her by purchasing a Melissa and Doug stamp set. As soon as we got to the checkout, she randomly announced to the girl that was checking us out, “Mommy has a penis.” I just stood there for a moment, expressionless, wondering where in the f**k that came from before I finally said, “yeah...I don’t.” The lady just stared at me, forced a smile and replied “have a nice day.”
We’ve also been talking a lot about my pregnancy and wondering whether the baby is a boy or girl. Somehow that must have raised some questions in my daughter’s head because she announced to daycare that “daddy decided he wants to be a girl so he is going to become a girl.” Daycare never mentioned it until our daughter told us this at dinner one night and we about died. Asked the teacher if she had, in fact, stated that...her teacher said, “yes, she did. It seemed sensitive so obviously we didn’t want to mention it.” (My husband is NOT transitioning).
Ahh, kids. Love them.
T Reynolds 2 years ago
My son at about two decided to announce at a family dinner party the complete list of everyone in the room who had a penis. The list included fifteen people of various genders. Apparently, my mother and I were the only two people in the room who did not have penises.
#21
My best friend is gay. He and his partner have lovingly been called “the gays” at our house after a slip up when calling them “the guys” came out as “the gays”, which they thought was funny and began to call themselves that. It caught on after a while. Picking up dinner one night at the grocery store, my daughter asked if they were coming over to eat with us, as they do once or twice a week. My best friend tends to tease my daughter who, at 5, can be sensitive to it. I said no and she replied by loudly exclaiming for all to hear: “Thank God, because I hate the gays!”
#22
My oldest Daughter and I used to run away from my Wife when we went shopping. One time, we got particularly far away and I asked her what do you wanna do now that Mom can't stop us?
She exclaimed loudly, near others, "We can punch a stranger!"
#23
My child isn’t old enough to talk yet but when I was little and we were on holiday my dad used to get me to say I was younger than I was so we could get into theme parks cheaper. When we were on our way back, the gentleman at passport control asked me how old I was and I turned to my dad and said “how old am I today daddy?”
#24
When I was little (under 5) my dad would jokingly ask if I wanted a cold beer. I would always respond with "no." Until one day when we were in the grocery store, he asked if I wanted anything, to which I replied: "a cold beer" while we were standing in line.
#25
When he was being humped by a puppy, and me yelling at the puppy to stop.
"DON'T YELL AT HIM! HE LOVES ME!"
I guess he's not wrong...
#26
My friend's kid once asked his mom's female friend where her boobs were (The friend had much smaller breasts than his mom). That was certainly awkward for everyone present.
#27
My son came home from kindergarten with his backpack full of canned food. When pressed about the issue he confidently stated that he had told the teacher he was hungry and we didn't have any food at home! They had sent him home with the donations for those in need!! We got him to return the food the next day... Its a funny story we tell now but talk about embarrassed!!!
June’s Very Own 2 years ago
Lovely to see the kindness shown by the kindergarten and people that donated!
#28
I was with a group of friends and was asked if I drink. I said I don't really, and my daughter said "but mom, you drink all the time." She had no idea the difference between drinking alcohol and drinking everything else.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago (edited)
I only realised that at age 10 and would get confused whenever there were those “don’t drink while driving” warnings, I assumed it meant no juice and water for the driver.
#29
When my cousin was about 2 she still occasionally took baths with her mom, my aunt. One night we're at their house for dinner, out of nowhere, she blurts out at my uncle, "Daddy, you got hair on your peepee, too?!" And that was the first and only time in my life I nearly required the Heimlich maneuver.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Oh I could say something about this but my wife looks at this site and would most definitely kill me if I posted it...
#30
My friends daughter (~2.5 y/o) saw another kid in the grocery store with a toy truck, and out of nowhere says “I want that f****n’ truck...” in an angry tone
Not the funniest thing to read, I know, but we’ve been saying that in a baby voice for the last few years and it always cracks us up.
Bi bird️y 2 years ago
My little sis (3-4) would yell "what the f*ck hell!?" It was hilarious!🤣🤣
#31
Was eating at a Chinese restaurant when the waiter and the cook were having a discussion in Chinese. 8 yr old daughter yells out “WHY THEY SPEAKING SPANISH?” Embarrassing to say the least. Went back a couple of months later and the waiter remembered us cause after taking our orders he says “ I’ll return andele’ “
Damn.
Valentina Toloy 2 years ago
Why is that embarrasing? Like the poor kid is supoosed to know how every language sounds?. I was out with my niece once. We went to a chinese supermarket. The dudes at the cash register where speaking among themselves in their own language and their spanish was quite broken. My niece asks why they speak "funny", I simply asked what language it was (cantonese) and explained to her why they talked "different". She said it sounded awesome and we left the store. No embarrasment.
#32
My two year old had a short-lived habit of saying "See ya, suckers" when we would leave a place.
#33
Not my kid, but I took my nephew, now 11, to the mall once when he was about 3/4, and this girl started talking to us. She thought it was so cute that I brought my nephew to the mall and how I was such a good uncle, until...my nephew says, “ Uncle x, likes to beat me”. There was no coming back from that. I had never laid a hand on him, but damned if I wasn’t thinking about it then. All I can do now is laugh, and wait for revenge.
#34
“Are those your boobies Mom?”
Loudly. At a church Nativity play 🤦🏼♀️
For all asking, yes, he was right, the question was accompanied by a vigorous patting motion on my chest
#35
After hearing the phrase in a movie, my little one yelled,"Put me down you idiot!" in church.
What do you think ?
Nathaniel 2 years ago
When I was 3 my mum took me to a hearing clinic. The nurse kept wanting me to respond to her, but instead I ignored her and played with whatever toys they had. She wanted to note me down as being profoundly deaf, telling my mum the only reason I would respond to her was due to me reading her lips. . As we were leaving, me racing ahead, back towards my mum, she asks "want some ice cream on the way home?" and I happily shouted "Yes please!"
MonsterMum 2 years ago
It's quite sad that a lot of normal healthy questions and observations by children are shut down as being 'embarrassing'. Maybe adults need to stop being so easily embarrassed?
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
This isn’t a toddler moment but I hope it counts because it’s certainly an embarrassment! I’m a puppy raiser for Guide Dogs in the Uk. As part of puppy’s socialisation we’re supposed to take them to lots of events and stuff. I took “tiny toothy terror” AKA Guide Dog Puppy, to a lecture about local history in the town hall. She was so well behaved that I don’t think more people knew she was there. That’s until the end. There was a round of applause for the speaker, my guide dog puppy got up and took a bow.
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
Just an edit. “Tiny toothy terror” did qualify as a Guide Dog and is now working wonderfully for her new owner. So far she’s completely stolen the show at every event
Load More Replies... Nathaniel 2 years ago
When I was 3 my mum took me to a hearing clinic. The nurse kept wanting me to respond to her, but instead I ignored her and played with whatever toys they had. She wanted to note me down as being profoundly deaf, telling my mum the only reason I would respond to her was due to me reading her lips. . As we were leaving, me racing ahead, back towards my mum, she asks "want some ice cream on the way home?" and I happily shouted "Yes please!"
MonsterMum 2 years ago
It's quite sad that a lot of normal healthy questions and observations by children are shut down as being 'embarrassing'. Maybe adults need to stop being so easily embarrassed?
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
This isn’t a toddler moment but I hope it counts because it’s certainly an embarrassment! I’m a puppy raiser for Guide Dogs in the Uk. As part of puppy’s socialisation we’re supposed to take them to lots of events and stuff. I took “tiny toothy terror” AKA Guide Dog Puppy, to a lecture about local history in the town hall. She was so well behaved that I don’t think more people knew she was there. That’s until the end. There was a round of applause for the speaker, my guide dog puppy got up and took a bow.
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
Just an edit. “Tiny toothy terror” did qualify as a Guide Dog and is now working wonderfully for her new owner. So far she’s completely stolen the show at every event
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