Christmas season is just around the corner and you know what time it is. United States, time to take a step back from the title of the world’s factory and let Santa and his elves claim what is rightfully theirs. Like Christmas products on the stores’ shelves, elf jokes are beginning to appear on the internet. The elf joke is the classic joke of Christmas. It’s their time to shine and no one can stop them from being said and spread, and you should be prepared. But with so many other jokes to choose from, why are funny elf jokes so amusing and only really used during the Christmas season?
Now, when we’re talking about elves, we’re not talking about World of Warcraft or Lord Of The Rings elves. They aren’t tall or beautiful. The elves we’re talking about here are the heroes of Santa’s workshops that dot the cold regions. Working only for sweets and nice words, one can think of many elf puns. Small and colorful, Christmas elf jokes are the perfect jokes to share around the dinner table on Christmas Eve. They are simple and classy and, like the Home Alone series being shown every winter season, they don’t get boring on Christmas.
So, if you can’t contain your excitement for the gingerbread cookie season and can’t wait for those toys to appear under your Christmas tree, we’ve got some funny Christmas elf jokes to help with your Christmas addiction. Christmas songs and memes can pass the time, but only funny jokes can truly crack a smile on your face. If you’re going to a family gathering, you are sure to find some kids there. So to prepare you for hours of speaking over a cooked dinner, we compiled a list of good jokes below (we even threw in some elf jokes for kids to keep them entertained). Upvote the jokes that made you smile and maybe even giggle. Also, comment below if you know a different version of the same joke!
What did the elf get when he crosses an apple and a Christmas tree?
A pineapple.
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Why do elves make good listeners?
Because they are all ears.
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What did the elf say when he won the lottery?
"Christmas be my lucky day."
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Why did the elf put super glue on his book?
He wanted a story he couldn’t put down!
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Why did the elf pray?
He wanted to connect with his higher elf.
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What is an elf’s favorite pick-up line?
"Let me be your fantasy."
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Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks!
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Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
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What does Santa call the elf police?
"The Po Po Po."
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What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
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Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?
Because he’s an elf-made man.
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If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toe.
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What is green, white, and red all over?
An elf with a sunburn.
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What was the elf’s favorite sport?
Miniature golf.
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What is Santa’s helpers’ favorite convenience store?
7-Elelfen.
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What do Santa’s helpers tell someone who annoys them?
"Elf off."
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What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
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How did the teacher tell the elves to line up before break time at school?
In elf-abet-ical order!
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What is an elf’s favorite positive affirmation?
“I believe in my elf.”
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What do all the elves say when Santa makes a decision?
"Well, he does have the final sleigh, after all!"
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What elf has the most books?
A bookshElf!
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What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
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What do the elves like to say when they’re dancing?
"Shake it like a pole-oriod picture!"
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What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
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Which sort of elf makes their home in a fizzy drink can?
A sprite!
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How does Santa take care of his sick helpers?
He nurses them back to elf.
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What do you call a house elf that edits documents?
A-Dobby.
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Who lives in the North Pole, makes toys and rides in a pumpkin?
Cinder-elf-a!
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How do elves communicate with one another?
They use their elf phones.
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What kind of music do elves like best?
“Wrap” music.
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Why kind of photographs do elves like taking?
Elfies.
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What’s the first thing elves learn in school?
The “elf“-abet!
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What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas card.
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What was the name of the girl elf on the shelf?
Miss Chievous.
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What brand of cookies does the elf on the shelf like most?
Keebler.
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What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
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What sign hangs above the door of Santa’s elves’ workshop?
Dance as elf there was no tomorrow!
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What would upset a normal person but not an elf?
Coming up short.
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What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
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Where do all the elves want to play on their baseball team?
Shortstop!
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What is an elf’s favorite filmmaker?
Elfred Hitchcock.
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"Did you hear about the elf who got pickpocketed?"
"I had no idea it was possible to stoop so low."
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Why don’t elves read books?
Because they like short stories better!
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What kind of mobile phones do elves use?
Micro phones!
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What do you call a badly behaved elf?
A rebel without a Claus!
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Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!
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What would you call Dobby, the house elf, if he were a really good speaker?
Dolby.
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What did the elf say after an orc stole his Legos?
"I’m Legolas."
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Why did Santa have to close his toy factory?
Elf and safety!
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Who is Santa's helpers' favorite character in "Stranger Things"?
Elelfen.
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What’s Santa’s tax status?
Elf-employed.
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What kind of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
Shortbread.
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Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
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Where did the elf go to school?
He was elf-taught.
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What was the elf on the shelf’s favorite Olympic event?
North Pole-vault
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What does the elf on the shelf use to write with on the blackboard?
Chalk-olate.
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How did the elf get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop?
He used the elfavator.
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Why was the elf so cold on Christmas day?
Because it’s in Decembrrrrr.
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How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders.
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Who sang “Blue Christmas”?
Elfvis.
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What was the elf’s favorite desert?
Short Cake.
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Why was the elf so quick to anger?
He had a short fuse.
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Why did the elf do so poorly in school?
He had a short attention span.
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What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells.
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What’s the best way to gain confidence?
To believe in your elf.
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What did Santa tell his helpers when they listened in on his conversation?
“Quit elves-dropping.”
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How did Santa tell his elves to check their email?
“First, yule log on…”
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What do you do if you can’t hire a professional?
Do it your elf.
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What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
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Where do elves go when they feel ill?
The elf-centre!
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What do you call an elf that hides in a Christmas bakery?
A mince spy!
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What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
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What is an elf’s fav crispy snack?
Jingle Pringles.
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What do socialist elves support?
Redistribution of welf.
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Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?
He has private elf care.
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What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
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Why did the elf want a wombat for Christmas?
To play wom, silly!
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What did the elf say after he spilled his soup?
"Hey everyone! Dinner is on me!"
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Why shouldn’t you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
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Why aren’t elves fat?
They are elfy eaters!
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What did the elf say to the pig?
"Don’t hog the presents!"
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What do you get if you cross one of Santa’s elves with a duck?
A Christmas quacker!
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What climbs trees, buries nuts & makes presents?
An elf who thinks he’s a squirrel!
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Why do rich elves donate to charities?
They like to share the welf!
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How does Santa know if you’re naughty or nice?
The elves fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la you around!
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Why doesn’t the lazy elf go to the gym?
It takes a lot of elf-ort!
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What kind of motorcycle do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
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What does an elf farmer call his cow?
An Eskimoo.
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When is the best time to give someone an elf as a gift?
On the twelf night of Christmas.
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What’s another name for Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses!
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Why do Santa’s elves get called eves at Christmas time?
Because there is Noel.
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Why does Santa shut his workshop one day every year?
For an elf and safety inspection!
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How do the elves keep Kris Kringle’s sleigh COVID-free?
They clean it with Santa-tizer!
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What do you call an elf who rides the subway to work?
A metro-gnome!
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What do the elves call it when they all clap for their boss?
Santapplause!
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Where do elves go to learn?
Nowhere! They’re Ho-Ho-Homeschooled!
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What did Santa say to the sad elf?
"Don’t be little yourself!"
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What did Santa say to the sad elf?
"Don’t be little yourself!"
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What do elves sing to Frosty the Snowman to cheer him up?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
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What kind of cellphones do elves have?
Sleighphones!
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What else do the elves like to say when they’re dancing?
You’re sleigh-in’ it!
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Why do elves cry?
Because they are “Santa-mental”!
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Did you hear about the Irish elf with a skin disease?
He was a leper-chaun!
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Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
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What’s the difference between a dwarf and an elf?
Very little!
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What did the grumpy elf say when another elf asked him for help?
"Go do it your elf!"
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What’s an elf’s favorite cereal?
Frosted flakes.
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What do elves play during the summer?
Little League Baseball.
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Why did Father Christmas have to shut his workshop one day?
For an elf and safety check!
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What do elves make their toys with?
Utinsels.
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What do the elves who work in Santa’s gardens do?
Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Where do elves go on holiday?
Santa Fe.
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What do you call an elf entrepreneur?
A small business owner.
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What is an elf’s favorite sport?
North-pole vaulting.
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How is Drake like an elf?
He spends all his time wrapping!
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Why was Santa forced to shut his grotto?
He was being investigated by the elf and safety executive!
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What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you.
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At Santa’s workshop, there are no Christmas bonuses. Why not?
Because they’re all elf-employed.
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What’s the Jewish version of elf on a shelf?
Mensch on a bench.
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How do you enslave a house elf?
By doing its laundry.
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What will Tesla build this Christmas to help Santa deliver presents?
An elf driving car.
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What do you call an elf who’s won the lottery?
Welfy.
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Why is the elf on the shelf’s favorite school subject?
Spilling.
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Why does the elf on the shelf do such silly things?
Because he can!
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How did Santa describe the elf who refused to take a bath?
He’s elfully smelly.
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Why does the elf on the shelf want to sneak into your school?
To hear the ringing of the bells.
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What did Santa call the greedy elf?
Elfish.
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What did the elf write in Christmas cards?
Hope you have a Fairy Merry Christmas.
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What kind of money did the elf on the shelf use?
Jingle bills.
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What did the doctor give the elf on the shelf after he hurt his leg?
A Candy Cane.
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What did the elf do to lift his self-esteem?
Read a self-elf book!
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What was the elf’s reply to the person who said they had Grandma for Christmas dinner?
"Yuk – We had turkey".
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Why did the elf spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because he overheard Santa say “No L” when he walked by.
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Why did the elf make such a good house guest?
He would only stay for a short tme.
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What do fish call elf shenanigans leading up to Christmas?
Elf on the shelfish.
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What do vegetarian elves eat?
Elfalfa.
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What’s an animal that never forgets Christmas?
An elfant.
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What do elves say when they make mistakes?
"I elfed up."
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Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
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Which elf is the best jazz singer?
Elfa Fitzgerald.
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If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
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What do Santa’s elves say whenever they take a photo?
"Let’s take an elfie."
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What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
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What does Mrs. Claus use to bake cakes?
Elf-raising flour.
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Why doesn’t Father Christmas eat junk food?
Because it’s bad for his elf!
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Why did the elf silence his phone?
He was bored of the rings!
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Why didn’t the elves buy Santa a gift?
Because they were all out of DOE!
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Who is the elves’ favorite Christmas tree singer?
Spruce Springsteen!
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What other kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
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How did the elf get straight A’s at school?
By doing his gnome-work every day!
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Who is an elf’s favorite rapper?
"Too Short."
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Why do Santa’s elves give Santa so much respect?
They all look up to him.
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Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them!
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Who is the elves’ favorite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!
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Where do elves go to feel better?
An elf-farm!
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What do you call an elf walking backwards?
A Fle!
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Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
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Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He’s a gnome-opath!
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What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
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What kind of king does an elf like best?
A stoc-king!
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What did the grumpy elf say to the lunch lady?
"Lettuce alone!"
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What do elves use to take photos?
An Elfie Stick.
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What did Santa Claus say to the smoker?
"Please put that out, it’s bad for my elf."
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What do you call an elf’s butler?
Elfred.
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What sickness did the elf get from making Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis.
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What do you call it when Santa and his elves go on a big ship to the Californian coast?
A Santa Cruz.
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Why do elves like Dolls?
They can share the clothes.
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How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn’t it?"
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How did Santa’s helper boost his low elf-esteem?
He read an elf-help book!
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What do you say to an elf that needs to hurry up?
"Get a jingle on!"
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What kind of jokes would a depressed elf tell?
Elf-deprecating.
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What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?
Elrond Hubbard!
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What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?
Santa would never free an elf.
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What’s the best thing about working for Santa Claus?
Universal elf care.
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What do you call a plastic elf?
Poly-mer.
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How is Santa able to get his personal Christmas shopping done so quickly?
He gets it right off the elf.
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What is Santa's helpers' favorite convenience store?
7-Elelfen.
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