I didn’t realize how difficult it was being an electrician until I tried it myself. I was shocked.

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Electrician goes into a coma after coming in contact with power lines. “He should be fine,” said the doctors. “He’s just taking a power nap.”

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Which is an electrician's favorite band?

AC/DC.

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What’s an electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor?

Shock-o-late.

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My parents were electricians. I was already grounded.

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What do an electrician and a mortician have in common?

They’re both shocked when they touch a live one.

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What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

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Do you know why the light bulb failed his math quiz?

He just wasn’t that bright.

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Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.

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Electricians never die. They just do it till it Hertz.

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Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, just like electricians and plumbers, electricians and engineers, and electricians and electricians.

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J Baker

J Baker

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2 years ago

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(Scottish accent): dang electricians, they're ruining electricity!

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joeyxfriends

joeyxfriends

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2 years ago

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I don't get it

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Why did the electrician punch a hole in the wall?

He needed an outlet.

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These electrician jokes are lame. Don’t you have some more current ones?

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I really like Electricians. They are so electrocute.

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What's an electrician's favorite fruit?

Currants!

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What happens when you beat up an electrician?

You get charged with battery.

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Jimmy, the electrician's son was grounded by his parents... I heard his parents say he had no potential.

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What's an electrician's favorite breakfast?

Ohmelettes.

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An older electrician was dying. Just before he slipped away, he told his nephew, an electrical apprentice. “Remember, with great power comes great current squared times resistance.”

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What was the electrician/ detective’s name?

Sherlock Ohms.

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Why was the electrician so excited to go shopping with his wife?

She said they were going to the outlet mall.

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2 electricians got into an argument... It went on for 5 days... They just couldn't find any common ground. Shocking.

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I fell in love with a female electrician. She was a real live wire and I took her ohm with me.

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My electrician was bad at his job but he loved me to death. Which is why I was in shock when he died.

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What is the electrician's favorite city?

Washington, DC.

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An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why... He said he couldn't resist.

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What are the electrician's last words?

This power cable has no power.

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An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted. He died before he even knew watts up.

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If Usain Bolt was an electrician... His name would be Usain Volt.

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Why did the electrician join Facebook?

So he could post his current status.

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What do Crossfitters and Electricians have in common?

Lots of Circuit Training.

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What social media site does an electrician use?

Ohmegle.

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A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.

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People asked me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electrical outlet. To be honest, it Hertz.

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Why was the thermometer smarter than the average electrician?

Because it had more degrees.

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What does one electrician say to another when they run into each other out in public?

Watt’s up!!

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Several electricians were working outside my new house while I mopped the floors. Just minutes after I finished, one asked to use my bathroom. I couldn’t say no, but his boots were caked with mud and my floors were so clean. “Just a minute,” I said, “I’ll put down newspapers.”

His response, “That’s all right, lady. I’m already trained.”

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Did you hear about the old electrician who liked to have a little fun with apprentices?

On their first day together, he would put on a wig with hair that appeared to be zapped with energy and pretends to stick his finger in a socket. It never got old.

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An old electrician was trying to make a pre-apprentice laugh. Nothing worked. He finally said, “I give up. I guess my jokes are just too old. I need some that are more current.”

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An electrician was working on the power at an ice cream factory. With a giant spark, everything blew. The company’s gone into liquidation. A young electrician goes to the doctor and says, “Every morning I step out my front door and start walking to work and before I get very far I get what feels like an electric shock from the pavement." The doctor asks, "How often does this happen?”

The electrician answers, "It can be as much as three times on the way there and the same on the way back home”. The doctor says, “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

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After spending hours trying to fix the light switch, the electrician was frustrated and gave up. Before leaving, he took a big marker and wrote off at the top of the switch and on at the bottom.

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For a family photo, the electrician pulled on his favorite shirt. It said, “I’m an electrician. To save time, let’s just assume I am never wrong.”

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, just hold the bulb up and the whole world revolves around him.

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And God said ‘Let there be light’ and there was light. But the electricity board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”

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What kind of car did the electrician drive?

A Volts-wagon.

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What’s another name for an electrical apprentice?

A shock absorber.

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Where do electricians go when their job is done?

They go h-ohm.

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I’ve failed my electrician's exam 3 times. I’ve decided to try meditation to see if that helps. Ohmmmmm.

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I fell in love with an electrician. I couldn't resist her.

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An electrician comes home late...

Wife: "Wire you insulate?"

Electrician: "Watts it to you? I'm ohm, aren't I."

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What do electricians talk about?

Current events.

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My grandfather was an electrician during WWII. His uniform had a helmet with two thunderbolts on it.

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I used to date an electrician... Boy, she could really light up a room!

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What's an electrician's favorite snack?

Microchips.

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Why did the electrician get killed in a debate?

He used conductive reasoning.

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Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?

He kept on turning negatives into positives.

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The electrician is married to his job. He loves it so much, that you could say between them, sparks fly.

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My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician. He never conducted himself positively at work.

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I met a really bad electrician at the bar last night... At first, there were some sparks, but he ended up saying some pretty nasty things to me and I left shocked.

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What do you call a freelance electrician?

A solderer of fortune.

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Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?

They know resistance is a waste of energy.

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Why is it always better to hire three electricians instead of just one?

Because many hands make light work.

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Why did the electrician become a news anchor?

He's always had a knack for current events.

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What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?

The electrician knows where the ground is.

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Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician?

Apparently, he's now ohm-less.

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How did Mr. Power react after flinging off the disgusting electric charge he had on him?

He was ex-static!

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I caught my friend harassing some electrician. I told him it was an abuse of power.

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My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.

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What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?

I haven’t seen you in light years.

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What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence?

A pair of shocks.

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Why do electricians tend to fall in love with proficient train drivers?

Because they make good conductors.

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"You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry."

"I’m a watt?"

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What do electricians call a power outage?

A current event.

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What do you call a carpenter who tries to work as an electrician?

A dead carpenter.

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How tall is a union electrician?

Don’t know. I’ve never seen one of them stand up to do something.

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What’s the difference between God and an electrician?

God doesn’t think he’s an electrician.

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Chief electrical engineer: “You told me you’d have this job finished in 3 days.”

Engineer: “I didn’t say it would be 3 consecutive days.”

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On his first Christmas, the engineer gave his mother-in-law an electric toothbrush. The next Christmas, he gave her an electric blanket. On the third, he gave her an electric carving knife. Yep, he’s working his way up to the electric chair.

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Did you hear about the electrician who wore two jackets when painting the house?

The instructions said, “For best results, put on two coats.”

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A man who was hard of hearing was going on a tour of a power plant. He arrived late and had to join the rest of the group already on the tour. The man was reviewing what he had just told the group. He told the group that they wouldn’t move on until they answered this one question: What is the unit of power equal to one joule per second called?” The man with the hearing problem hadn’t heard the question very well, so he raised his hand and asked “What?”

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A journeyman asked an apprentice to name two types of transformers.

His answer: "Decepticons and Autobots."

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A plumber, a pipefitter, and a carpenter walk into a bar. The electrician ducks.

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A lady called an electrician to repair her doorbell. He didn’t show up for 4 days. The lady called back. The electrician replied, “Lady, I’ve been coming out there for 4 days. I press the bell and nobody comes.”

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Where do electricians get their supplies?

The Ohm Depot.

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An electrician got home at 4 am. His wife asks him, “Wire you insulate?” He replies, “Watt’s it to you? I’m Ohm, aren’t I?”

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Whenever my dad goes out in public, he advertises his services by wearing a shirt that says “Call me an electrician, and I’ll repair what your husband fixed.”

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How does an electrician know a dead battery in a pile of good ones?

It’s lost its spark.

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Sitting at the union hall, an electrician was reminiscing about his favorite moment. He said, “Years ago, I had a new helper that boasted that he had 2 1/2 years experience. After working with him for a day, I could tell either he hadn’t learned anything in his 2 1/2 years or he was very green. We were working on a 6 story motel project with tons of MC pulling. the next morning, I told him I needed the only MC bender we had and sent him off to look for it. He managed to ask every electrician on the job site one by one. They all caught on and sent him to the next guy. He returned in 45 minutes saying it must be lost. I grabbed a piece of MC and bent a 90 and said “I found it” He quit a few days later because nobody could stop laughing at him every time they saw him.”

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What did the electrician get on his general foreman exam?

Slobber.

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The wife asked her husband “What are you reading darling?” It’s a quote from the electrician, he said $300 should cover the cost of him coming to laugh at us.

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What happened to the intern electrician after accidentally shocking himself bc he forgot to wear PPE?

He was grounded.

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How do you tell the difference between a chemist and an electrician?

Ask them how to pronounce “unionized.”

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I just found out the electrician I hired is unlicensed. Needless to say, I was shocked!

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What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?

That Hertz!

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I lost my job as an electrician. They said that I re-fused too much work.

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Why do electricians periodically call their parents just to bad-mouth them?

So they stay grounded.

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Why are electricians, terrible sailors?

They are always running around.

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You shouldn't try being your own electrician. This piece of advice shouldn't shock you.

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I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.

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My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.

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What do you call an electrician who tries to work as a carpenter?

A bad electrician.

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How do you know how if an electrician is working with AC or DC power?

If it’s AC, his teeth chatter when he grabs the conductors. If it’s DC, they just clamp together.

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The new apprentice went over to the tool room after he was told by the foreman to go get a wrench. The lady in the room asked him what kind of wrench. He answered, “I don’t know. He just said a wrench. Are there different kinds?” She sent him back with a 36-inch pipe wrench. A few minutes later he was back. He never forgot to ask what kind of wrench again.

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What’s an electrician’s favorite store?

The electrical outlet!

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The lights in my house just went out, so I have to call an electrician.... I am unable to deal with the current situation...

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Electricians have to strip to make ends meet. Shocking I know.

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A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday. And spent the night in a dry cell.

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Why did they arrest the electrician?

He was accused of a battery charge.

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An evil genie captured an electrician and two of her friends. Before banishing them to the desert for a week, the genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn’t die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep from getting sunburned. The electrician brought a car door because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window!

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An old electrician receives a call about a room that wasn’t wired properly. He arrives and asks, “What makes you think this room wasn’t wired properly?” The homeowner flips a switch and sparks start flying, his eyes bulge, and his hair frizzes out. The electrician says, “Well, you might be right.”

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Why has no electrician ever gone to the International Space Station?

They don't think it's safe. None of the wirings runs to the ground.

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Once upon a time my dad gave me some money and told me to pay our power bill. However, I didn't pay it and instead spent all the money on a raffle where a new car was the prize. The next day there was a brand new car in front of our house. The car belonged to the electricians who came to cut our power off.

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I'm a bad electrician. And when people find out, they're so shocked.

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How to tell apart a good electrician from a bad one?

One is 16 feet above and one is 6 feet below ground.

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A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out! We don’t serve your kind here."

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What are some worms that eat up electric wires?

Electro-maggots.

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How did his crew know the electrical foreman was dead?

The donut rolled out of his hand.

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An electrician finished repairing some faulty wiring in an attorney’s home and handed him the bill.

"Four hundred dollars! For one hour of work?” shouts the attorney. "That’s crazy! I’m an attorney and even I don’t charge that much.”

The electrician replies, "Funny when I was an attorney I didn’t either!”

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I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house. He refused.

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What did the national transistor party do after suffering weak gain at the poles?

They just shifted their focus to base and started to energize it.

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Why should electrical engineers never be surgeons?

Because they tend to shut down faulty systems and then start them again.

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One manager was bragging to another. “I have a great new electrician working for me. Last week I gave him a project and he stayed up for 4 straight days, completed the circuit board design, finished the bill of materials, and everything was perfect. Monday morning the client called and was thrilled with the results.”

His friend asked, “So how far ahead of schedule did he finish?”

The manager said, “Ahead of schedule? Who ever heard of an electrician finishing ahead of schedule?”

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An electrician was working on a car wash project that involved driving ground rods and running ground wire before setting a pre-cast utility transformer pad in place. He forgot to bring his ground rod driver and decided to improvise. He borrowed a post driver from a contractor. All was going fine until the 8-foot rod was about 4 feet into the ground. The rod caught on the bottom edge of the driver. The electrician was leaning into it, transferring all his downward force to the driver. It came back and hit him in the head. Not to be deterred, he swung the driver again. The top of the driver cut his forehead open.

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At the end of the day, the old apprentice called the new kid over and said, “Don’t forget to stop by the shop on your way home and fill out the id10t form.” The kid looked confused and asked him to write it down, so he didn’t forget the name of the form. After driving an hour out of the way, he walks into the office and asks the secretary for the ID 10T form. She’s confused, so he hands her the piece of paper. She and the rest of the office staff laughed at him right out the door.

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How does an electrician turn down services?

He refuses it.

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