What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?

UCLA.

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Onion Patch Petunia

Onion Patch Petunia

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1 year ago

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Someday we'll find out

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Why are recycle bins optimistic?

Because they’re full of cans.

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Thegoodboi

Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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I was gonna say full of s**t..

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Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?

Because he’s a fungi.

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Thegoodboi

Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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Heheh good one

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Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?

The star fish!

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Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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Tuna tastes the best imo

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Where do saplings go to learn?

Elementree school.

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Panicking

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9 months ago

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Why must the trees suffer too

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Why did the gardener plant light bulbs?

She wanted to grow a power plant.

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Onion Patch Petunia

Onion Patch Petunia

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1 year ago

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To control the nightshade

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What did the little tree say to the big tree?

"Leaf me alone!"

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Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?

Because she expected some change in the weather.

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What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line!

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Onion Patch Petunia

Onion Patch Petunia

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Hold your hand underwater until he takes notice. Should work as soon as you turn blue

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Where does seaweed look for a job?

In the kelp-wanted section

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What did the limestone say to the geologist?

"Don’t take me for granite."

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What did one lightening bolt say to the other?

You’re truly shocking!

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Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?

Because they dropped out of school.

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What do trees feel on Earth Day?

Re-leaf.

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"How do I save energy?"

"I normally use the couch."

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Thegoodboi

Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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Couch is bae

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Why does a Time Magazine survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?

The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!

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Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?

He was trying to grow a water-melon.

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What did one volcano say to the other volcano?

I lava you!

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What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

Snow.

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What is the Texas state slogan?

Oils well that ends well.

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Thegoodboi

Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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HEY it's "friendship" The motto was most likely chosen because the name of Texas or Tejas (the Spanish pronunciation of the local Indian tribe's word teyshas or thecas meaning friends or allies). Or "Remember the Alamo"

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What do worms leave round their baths?

The scum of the earth!

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Why don’t you pay for dead batteries?

They’re free of charge.

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"In honor of Earth day, I'm sending all of my work-related emails to my "recycle" folder."

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What is the best way to learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest?

Check out their web site!

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"A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what are you doing to celebrate Earth Day?" the bartender asks. "Oh, already done," the guy replies. "I sent all my work related e-mails to my recycling bin."'

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Thegoodboi

Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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Better than me, I send them to trash...I'm sorry..

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Why are people always tired on Earth Day?

Because they just finished a March.

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Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?

Kings Crustacean.

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Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike?

It had lost its petals.

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What do you call the seagulls that live by the Bay?

Bagels.

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What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?

Shore.

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What did the beach say to the wave?

"Long tide, no sea."

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What do you call a rooster that crows every morning?

An alarm cluck!

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter.

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Why did the dog bury himself in the backyard on Earth Day?

Because you can’t grow a tree without bark.

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Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

The prawn broker.

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What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?

Foul weather.

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What lies between a good recycler and a bad recycler?

Oregon.

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ANTIVICTORIA

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4 months ago

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Is there a smuggier people in America outside of Oregon?

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What did the ground say to the earthquake?

You crack me up!

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Why did the Easter bunny hide?

He was a little chicken.

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Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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Lay me an egg full of money...ok an egg of candy will do

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Why did the worm cross the ruler?

To become an inchworm.

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What is a tree’s least favorite month?

Sep-timber!

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What’s the biggest moth in the world?

A mammoth!

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What makes the Earth so great?

It’s well-rounded.

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What did the teaching tree do when on Earth Day?

He took a leaf of absence.

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How do trees promote the pledge to protect the Earth?

By handing out leaf-lets.

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Knock knock

Who’s there on Earth Day?

Tree.

Tree who?

Have a tree-rific day!

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What does the bee say to the flower on Earth Day?

"Hey bud!"

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What does the Earth say to other planets of the Solar System?

"You guys have no life."

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What is a Good Ice Breaker question for dating?

Anything on Global Warming.

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Which bird suffers a lot from air pollution?

Puffin.

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Why are people tired on April 22nd?

Because they just finished March.

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How many climate sceptics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None cause they’d rather live in the dark.

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What did the environmentalists get when he sat down too long on a melting iceberg?

Polaroid.

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Thegoodboi

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1 year ago

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Add some yellow and you have a slushy! Mmm

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What if the Earth was an apartment?

We won’t be getting our deposit back.

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What is the positive proof of Global warming?

Check the size of women’s undergarments since the 18th century.

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"What does Earth get on Earth day?

A birthday quake!"

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"People sometimes wonder why "Flat-Earth Day” only comes once a year.
The scientific answer is that it occurs once every revolution that the Sun orbits the Earth."

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"Us celebrating Earth Day is like an abusive spouse getting their wife flowers on Mother's Day. Its all nicely nice right now, but you know she's still getting drilled for something later."

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"This Earth Day I decided I would become more environmentally concious.
So I'm starting to recycle jokes."

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"I wanted to throw an Earth Day party... but I forgot to planet."

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"Why were the climate change deniers disappointed that I got an ice cream cake for Earth Day?

Because it melted."

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Why did the leaf go to the doctor?

It was feeling green.

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Why are seabirds so lucky in love?

Because one good tern always deserves another.

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What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?

It got lockjaw.

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How can you tell the ocean is friendly?

It waves.

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What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?

Show me your mussels.

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How do trees get on the internet?

They log in.

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Why was the cucumber mad?

Because it was in a pickle.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Using a sea saw.

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What did the flower say after it told a joke?

I was pollen your leg.

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Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?

Polly, Ethel and Ian.

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What does the sun drink out of?

Sunglasses.

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How do oil companies deal with with oil spills?

Slick lawyers.

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What kind of bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow!

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What kind of shorts to clouds wear?

Thunderwear!

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How do hurricanes see?

With one eye!

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What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?

“Wee-cyclers!”

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If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?

No privacy!

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How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?

None, just some tea.

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What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.

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What kind of plant grow on your hand?

Palm tree.

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Do bees fly in the rain?

Not without their yellow jackets!

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Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?

He didn’t have a leg to stand on!

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What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree on Earth Day?

"May the Forest be with you."

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What did the mother worm say to her son who was late?

“Where in earth have you been?”

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Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?

Pier pressure.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?

It gets wet.

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What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global worming!

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Why don’t oysters give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish!

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What does a tree drink?

Root Beer!

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Take care of Earth. There’s no planet B.

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What happened to the leaf when he was caught cheating during the Earth Day quiz?

He was disqua-leaf-ied.

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How do leaves go to the Earth Day party?

They use an autumn-mobile.

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How does the Old tree let the others know about throwing an Earth Day party?

Through a teleafone.

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Where do bees go to celebrate Earth Day?

Beejing and Sting-apore.

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What do you get when you cross an environmentalist with direct action?

Arrested.

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What kind of people are fed up with people who litter?

Animals.

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Why are Vegans increasing Global warming?

Vegans eat plants. Plants reduce CO2. CO2 causes Global warming.

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Teacher: As a result of Global warming, our next generation will not be able to see tigers. So what do we do?

Student: So what? We never complain that we didn’t get to see Dinosaurs.

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"Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?"

"No sun."

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Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

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"Is the planet round or flat?

Neither, it is screwed."

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"Got arrested by cops for celebrating Earth Day and switching off all plugs. Shouldn't have done it in a hospital I guess."

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"I didn't know it was Earth Day. I'm usually in the dark on it..."

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"When was our world born?

On it’s B-Earth-Day!"

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Why is grass so dangerous?

Because it’s full of blades.

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What is a shark’s favorite game?

Swallow the leader!

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Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?

They like to avoid the flush.

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How many climate sceptics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.

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Where did the lightning bolt propose?

Cloud 9.

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What did the tree wear to the pool party?

Swimming trunks.

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What did the tornado say to the washing machine?

Want to go for a spin?

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Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?

It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.

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Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?

All the sailors were marooned.

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What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?

“Kelp! Kelp!”

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Earth is so calming, it keeps me grounded.

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What’s a honey bee’s favourite gift for Earth Day?

A Bee-gonia.

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What snack do the bees buy on April 22nd?

Beescuits!

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"What gives that I don’t have a carbon footprint?"

"I drive everywhere."

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What did the Alien’s report on intelligent life on Earth say?

"There is no intelligent life down there. They still believe that taxing people who produce things will lower their planet’s temperature."

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