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“Too Bad For Her”: Ex-Husband And Mistress Think They’re Getting MIL’s Money, Are Very Wrong
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“Too Bad For Her”: Ex-Husband And Mistress Think They’re Getting MIL’s Money, Are Very Wrong

Interview With Expert
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Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl made headlines recently when he announced on Instagram that he’d fathered a baby girl “outside my marriage”. Grohl didn’t say whether he’d leave his marriage to be a “loving and supportive parent” to his new daughter. But his wife of over 20 years has recently been spotted without her wedding ring.

Grohl’s confession might have been quite triggering for one woman, whose husband stepped out on her a few years ago. The woman was two months pregnant when she found out her husband was having an affair, and had made his mistress pregnant as well. In a wicked twist of karma, the man’s dying mother teamed up with his ex-wife to teach him one last very costly lesson. Bored Panda reached out to legal expert Doug Luftman from Trust & Will to get his view on the matter.

Amelie’s husband walked out on her after getting his co-worker pregnant, leaving her to raise their 5-year-old child alone

Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The man’s mother was livid when she found out, and cut contact with her son immediately

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Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Gerardo Manzano / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: throwaway_inherit8

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Amelie’s mother-in-law is not legally obliged to provide for any grandchildren in her will

Doug Luftman is the Chief Legal Officer of Trust & Will. The California-based law firm specializes in estate planning. Luftman kindly agreed to chat to Bored Panda and give his view on the matter. He noted that the situation highlights how personal decisions, emotions, and values can deeply influence estate planning.

“While the grandmother’s decision seems driven by a desire to teach her son a lesson, legally, she has the right to distribute her estate as she sees fit, provided her will complies with state laws,” said Luftman. “The decision to leave everything to the ex-wife and their son, excluding the child from the affair, reflects how inheritance via a formal estate plan, such as a will, can be used to send a moral message or protect certain family members, though it may create further familial discord.”

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Luftman added that grandparents are typically under no legal obligation to provide for grandchildren, especially if they’ve been explicitly excluded in a valid will. “In most cases, the child or their mother cannot lay claim to the grandmother’s estate unless the grandmother made provisions for them in her will or if there is a legal claim that the will is invalid, such as due to undue influence or lack of mental capacity, that can be proven in court,” noted the legal expert.

Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Children born from affairs have the same inheritance rights as any other biological children, provided paternity is established

Luftman said the affair is “a red herring” in that the estate planning laws focus on biological lineage. And that children born as a result of an affair are treated exactly the same as children born within a marriage, when it comes to inheritance from the parents.

“If the parent dies without a will, the child usually is entitled to a share of the estate under state intestate succession laws,” explained Luftman. “However, if the parent creates a will, they can choose to include or exclude that child from their inheritance, subject to certain legal limitations in some states.”

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He cautioned that it’s crucial for couples to consider all potential scenarios when drafting their wills. Even the possibility and impact of infidelity. “Open communication is key. Couples may want to specify what happens in case of a breakdown in the relationship or if there are children from outside the marriage,” advised Luftman. “Clear instructions in an estate plan can prevent legal disputes and ensure that each partner’s wishes are honored, regardless of emotional or personal issues that might arise later.”

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Amelie gave more information in the comments, revealing her ex’s mom was leaving him $100 and a “cuckoo clock he used to be scared of as a child”

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Mothers-in-law often get a bad rep for siding with their children, no matter what

Mothers-in-law have been the butt of jokes for centuries. And are often portrayed in a negative light in books, movies, and songs. Ernie K-Doe’s 1961 song “Mother-in-Law” hit number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 and R&B chart. “Mother-in-law, mother-in-law… The worst person I know. Mother-in-law, mother-in-law… She worries me so,” sang K-Doe. Some people have referred to their MIL as “monster-in-law“.

Even Pope Francis has made mother-in-law jokes. In public. In 2015, thousands erupted into laughter as the pope addressed them in America. “Families quarrel and sometimes plates can fly and children bring headaches, and I won’t speak about mother-in-laws,” quipped the head of the Catholic church.

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But in 2022, the pope came to the defence of “the other woman”, when he asked people to be kinder to their mothers-in-law. The pontiff told the audience that mothers-in-law are often the victims of “cliches”, and called for compassion.

“I’m not saying we see [the mother-in-law] as the devil, but she is always presented in a pejorative way. But the mother-in-law is the mother of your husband and the mother of your wife,” preached the then 84-year-old. He also reminded women to respect their mother-in-laws, as they’d “given birth to your spouse”.

“We say to ourselves ‘the further away your mother-in-law is, the better’. But no – she’s a mother, she’s an elderly person,” added the pope. “One of the most beautiful things for a woman is to have grandchildren. When her children have children, it brings her to life again.” The pope might have been onto something because as Amelie wrote in her post, her mother-in-law loves “her grandson more than anything.”

Image credits: Danik Prihodko / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Despite how they are portrayed in the media, many mothers-in-law actually get along well with their daughters-in-law

Geoffrey Greif is a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work. He says mothers-in-law are often portrayed as overbearing and interfering. Because of this, some daughters-in-law might want to keep them at bay. Greif cautions people not to do this. Fortunately Amelie didn’t, so she was able to get the support she needed when her ex left her. And her own son was able to maintain a close relationship with his paternal grandmother.

Greif also explained why some mothers-in-law work extra hard to stay in the “good books”. “When grandchildren come along, in most families the mothers provide access to the children and the MIL may feel she has to play her cards right to keep that access,” said Greif.

When Greif conducted research on the topic, he found that contrary to popular belief, most “daughters-in-law feel positive about their relationship with their mothers-in-law at the beginning of the marriage to their husbands”. He had surveyed 351 women, asking various questions about their relationship with their mothers-in-law.

His 2019 paper titled “Women and Their Mothers-in-Law: Triangles, Ambiguity, and Relationship Quality” noted six factors that determine how well a woman would get along with their mother-in-law. They included shared interests, the amount of time the two spend together, how close the daughter-in-law is to her husband’s father, what the DIL thinks about her husband’s relationship with his mom, whether the daughter-in-law feels caught between her husband and her mother-in-law, and whether the MIL is close to another child-in-law.

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Amelie and her mom-in-law must have ticked many of those boxes. In the end, their relationship weathered the storm . And her ex was left with a mother who “despises her son and his mistress” for tearing apart the family.

“Your MIL is the freaking goat”: Many netizens praised Amelie’s mother-in-law

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Some people felt the “affair baby” shouldn’t be the one paying the price

Amelie later responded to those who left mean comments, and detailed just how nasty her ex-husband’s mistress had been

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Robyn Smith

Robyn Smith

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

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Robyn Smith

Robyn Smith

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Monica G
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The affair child has a father now, which can provide for him, unlike OP's kid.

Ben Aziza
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

To me that is no consolation price to have that thing as a "father" and the vile mistress... He gets no money. Hated by others just for being born. God every adult here has one degree of nastiness that i cannot stand. "I do not want my son to grow up with her son" That part... that is when i decided everyone is the a*****e... I assumed the use of it was because the baby was young or they dont know the gender... Nah she HATES the innocent child. Refuses to answer for it... double down by projecting her hatred to control the life of her own kid... Every one is a degree of Ah here... Cheaters first and above then the other two hating the innocent child. Could have written them in the will to get some when they turn 20+ on the condition they cant share it with the dad and mistress. They are rich enough for lawyers who can do that.

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tori Ohno
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He not only left his wife, but gave up custody of his son as well? He completely abandoned his family because of his h**e? He shouldn't even get the $100, he should only get $1.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, this grandmother (or for the case of the story MIL), sounds like a real class act. She has lots of assets, and its her only child she has to stand against (hard to do), and a very strong ethical sense of right and wrong. It's wonderful that she has such a loving relationship with her DIL, and you can really hear the pain in OP's writing because to exact the karma-punishment on cheating ex husband/gold digging mistress, her beloved MIL has to die. How smart to not only redo the will, have several lawyers look it over, but leave a video for the grandson. I hope that MIL did include a small amount of money for other child / extreme token amount for mistress (as others had mentioned, leaving them nothing might result in a contesting of the will.) I adore that she left son a token amount and the cuckoo clock that scared him as a child. That's freaking hilarious. She sounds like she would have been a great woman to know.

Pandaodboredem22
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see how not giving a child extra money is making them a victim.

Bette
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it fascinating that so many people without any personal experience feel free to judge the author on her behavior towards the affair child and the mistress. In reality the author behaved admirably under very difficult circumstances - particularly given how cruel and malicious the behavior of the mistress proved to be. The mother-in-law was entirely within her rights to dispense her own estate as she wished......particularly as she had bitter firsthand experience with the tragedy of the detriments of mistresses on family dynamics.

Susie Elle
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The biggest victim here seems to be the affair child, who's being blamed for ruining a marriage he had zero influence nor say in.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The innocent are always the victims. Children born to parents who have no business being parents. Animals who have no say in how they are kept/abused. And so many other examples that it just makes your heart break to think about them.

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Kaedyn Walsh
Community Member
5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP may want to do something to protect the house til the son is 18 and can take over the protection. The affair b***h sounds so unhinged that I can't put the idea out of my head of her committing arson to the house as 'revenge'. In her disgusting mind, "if we can't have what's "rightfully ours", then I'll take it from them."

arthbach
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's all sorts of bad behaviour. The Granny thinks she will get revenge on her son, and his mistress (and she will), but she is also heaping up problems for her former daughter in law and her grandson. If she had the courage of her convictions she would let her son know now that he, and the affair baby will receive nothing. By keeping this information to herself, she is pushing all of the anger and recriminations onto her former daughter in law and grandson. Be an adult, and take responsibility for your own decisions! If you don't want your son to inherit, then tell him. Don't cause problems for your grandson.

Robyn Ingvallsen (Helga von Bewbenfrau)
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God save us from weak men. My father, who called me 'daddy's little girl' (I was born the day after his birthday, my name is the female version of his) kept me from my mother and sister, because he didn't want to pay child support, then as soon as my stepmother had a daughter (she had a son she didn't want - he got the short end of the stick), I was tossed to the side. I've been NC for about 5 years, and the peace has been life-saving. Weak men like the ex, cruel b*tches like the wh*re mistress, should have to wear scarlet letters. It's nice that your MIL has your back (and your son's) though I have to wonder how her son turned out the way he did, having such a strong mother. Again, *weak* men, she likely knows all about them. For people worrying about the 'affair baby', that kid is likely going to be a product of his upbringing. They'll likely be fine, considering its parents only consider their own benefit. They'll likely know how to look out for themselves.

Israel Martinez
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only ones that should have taken into account the affair child's place in all of this are his parents, but it is already too late ... that should have been done from jump (if so, he probably would not be born) ... in any case, I'm sure the child has been exposed to his parents' mean spirit and has been spoiled to the point of turning out just like them ... I'm with the grandmother ... don't reward malicious people ...

Jane
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has to be fake. She's leaving her son $100... but if he chooses to contest the will, "he loses it all?" $100??? Normally in these cases, they will leave a higher amount so they won't be tempted to contest the will because they don't want to chance losing it... but $100 isn't enough incentive to not contest the will.

AMaureen Dance
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it so much incentive, or more ammunition for her lawyers. "See? She didn't forget you. She mentioned you and your son right there. Enjoy that clock."

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Agat
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the MIL and DIL in this story in general. However, blaming a non-existing baby (a fetus at that point) for her losing hers is bonkers. She should blame her ex and the awful woman he decided to go to at that time. This isn't the child's fault - it's the parents'. However, I do agree with the comment saying that in 20 years that child will be on Reddit, telling people the story and then the whole Reddit will agree that the MIL was terrible for punishing the child for their father's actions. Tough situation.

Edith
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's very tricky situation, I agree that affair child shouldn't be blamed, but I totally understand DIL for not loving him.. It is very easy to talk about other's problems where emotions and pain isn't involved, I wonder how many of people be different from DIL if it were them.

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AnnMarie Evetts
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP said MIL decided to leave money for the affair baby. I hope she set it up so NO ONE but the intended recipient can touch it, and even then, not until he's ready for college.

Justme
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband has an ex-wife and 2 adult children with mental health issues. Kids have chosen to cut contact with most of the family but we remain open and willing to reconnect if they choose. We recently did our wills and included a clause that if anyone contests the will, they get nothing.

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very satisfying but don’t be surprised if mil has a last minute change of heart.

Anne Jones
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not the child of the affair who is at fault. She should leave something in trust for him when he’s an adult. He is her biological grandson too.

AMaureen Dance
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But who will be holding that trust? The ex? The AP? Neither have shown themselves to be particularly trust-worthy so far, so by time the kid is whatever age, the trust may have been skimmed all away. "Trust? What trust, son? Your Granny didn't like you. Didn't you know?"

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Matt
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow BP the math ain't mathing on the quiz 98% yes + 1% not sure + 2% depends=101%

Amused panda
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whilst those aren't the figures now, the maths you've stated just indicate rounding figures to the nearest whole number. It can easily happen if all figures ended above 0.5, e.g. 97.6 + 0.8 + 1.6.

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07000
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment has been deleted.

07000
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This seems so ridiculously fake... nothing about it feels like it was written by a real person.

Trialia
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who whine about "fake" posts are so boring. I've known far worse folk than that, I assure you.

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Susical
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Biggest a$$holes are obviously the ex-husband & mistress. But I think the MIL is a little bit of one too. She's punishing her other grandchild for the sins of the parents. It isn't bad enough that the poor kid has terrible parents - he doesn't even get to know his grandmother. While I *completely* sympathize with OP - just a horrible experience - she needs some counseling to get through her rage at this other child. Continuing to call the child "it" and blaming him for the actions of his parents isn't healthy.

Trialia
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should she, when she won't be having anything to do with the new child? Did you *see* how this baby's mother treated her?

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Weasel Wise
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

OP seems to like the drama of the situation. She seems to have lots of info about her ex and his new family despite not having contact with them.

Monica G
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The affair child has a father now, which can provide for him, unlike OP's kid.

Ben Aziza
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

To me that is no consolation price to have that thing as a "father" and the vile mistress... He gets no money. Hated by others just for being born. God every adult here has one degree of nastiness that i cannot stand. "I do not want my son to grow up with her son" That part... that is when i decided everyone is the a*****e... I assumed the use of it was because the baby was young or they dont know the gender... Nah she HATES the innocent child. Refuses to answer for it... double down by projecting her hatred to control the life of her own kid... Every one is a degree of Ah here... Cheaters first and above then the other two hating the innocent child. Could have written them in the will to get some when they turn 20+ on the condition they cant share it with the dad and mistress. They are rich enough for lawyers who can do that.

Load More Replies...
tori Ohno
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He not only left his wife, but gave up custody of his son as well? He completely abandoned his family because of his h**e? He shouldn't even get the $100, he should only get $1.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, this grandmother (or for the case of the story MIL), sounds like a real class act. She has lots of assets, and its her only child she has to stand against (hard to do), and a very strong ethical sense of right and wrong. It's wonderful that she has such a loving relationship with her DIL, and you can really hear the pain in OP's writing because to exact the karma-punishment on cheating ex husband/gold digging mistress, her beloved MIL has to die. How smart to not only redo the will, have several lawyers look it over, but leave a video for the grandson. I hope that MIL did include a small amount of money for other child / extreme token amount for mistress (as others had mentioned, leaving them nothing might result in a contesting of the will.) I adore that she left son a token amount and the cuckoo clock that scared him as a child. That's freaking hilarious. She sounds like she would have been a great woman to know.

Pandaodboredem22
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see how not giving a child extra money is making them a victim.

Bette
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it fascinating that so many people without any personal experience feel free to judge the author on her behavior towards the affair child and the mistress. In reality the author behaved admirably under very difficult circumstances - particularly given how cruel and malicious the behavior of the mistress proved to be. The mother-in-law was entirely within her rights to dispense her own estate as she wished......particularly as she had bitter firsthand experience with the tragedy of the detriments of mistresses on family dynamics.

Susie Elle
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The biggest victim here seems to be the affair child, who's being blamed for ruining a marriage he had zero influence nor say in.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The innocent are always the victims. Children born to parents who have no business being parents. Animals who have no say in how they are kept/abused. And so many other examples that it just makes your heart break to think about them.

Load More Replies...
Kaedyn Walsh
Community Member
5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP may want to do something to protect the house til the son is 18 and can take over the protection. The affair b***h sounds so unhinged that I can't put the idea out of my head of her committing arson to the house as 'revenge'. In her disgusting mind, "if we can't have what's "rightfully ours", then I'll take it from them."

arthbach
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's all sorts of bad behaviour. The Granny thinks she will get revenge on her son, and his mistress (and she will), but she is also heaping up problems for her former daughter in law and her grandson. If she had the courage of her convictions she would let her son know now that he, and the affair baby will receive nothing. By keeping this information to herself, she is pushing all of the anger and recriminations onto her former daughter in law and grandson. Be an adult, and take responsibility for your own decisions! If you don't want your son to inherit, then tell him. Don't cause problems for your grandson.

Robyn Ingvallsen (Helga von Bewbenfrau)
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God save us from weak men. My father, who called me 'daddy's little girl' (I was born the day after his birthday, my name is the female version of his) kept me from my mother and sister, because he didn't want to pay child support, then as soon as my stepmother had a daughter (she had a son she didn't want - he got the short end of the stick), I was tossed to the side. I've been NC for about 5 years, and the peace has been life-saving. Weak men like the ex, cruel b*tches like the wh*re mistress, should have to wear scarlet letters. It's nice that your MIL has your back (and your son's) though I have to wonder how her son turned out the way he did, having such a strong mother. Again, *weak* men, she likely knows all about them. For people worrying about the 'affair baby', that kid is likely going to be a product of his upbringing. They'll likely be fine, considering its parents only consider their own benefit. They'll likely know how to look out for themselves.

Israel Martinez
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only ones that should have taken into account the affair child's place in all of this are his parents, but it is already too late ... that should have been done from jump (if so, he probably would not be born) ... in any case, I'm sure the child has been exposed to his parents' mean spirit and has been spoiled to the point of turning out just like them ... I'm with the grandmother ... don't reward malicious people ...

Jane
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has to be fake. She's leaving her son $100... but if he chooses to contest the will, "he loses it all?" $100??? Normally in these cases, they will leave a higher amount so they won't be tempted to contest the will because they don't want to chance losing it... but $100 isn't enough incentive to not contest the will.

AMaureen Dance
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it so much incentive, or more ammunition for her lawyers. "See? She didn't forget you. She mentioned you and your son right there. Enjoy that clock."

Load More Replies...
Agat
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the MIL and DIL in this story in general. However, blaming a non-existing baby (a fetus at that point) for her losing hers is bonkers. She should blame her ex and the awful woman he decided to go to at that time. This isn't the child's fault - it's the parents'. However, I do agree with the comment saying that in 20 years that child will be on Reddit, telling people the story and then the whole Reddit will agree that the MIL was terrible for punishing the child for their father's actions. Tough situation.

Edith
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's very tricky situation, I agree that affair child shouldn't be blamed, but I totally understand DIL for not loving him.. It is very easy to talk about other's problems where emotions and pain isn't involved, I wonder how many of people be different from DIL if it were them.

Load More Replies...
AnnMarie Evetts
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP said MIL decided to leave money for the affair baby. I hope she set it up so NO ONE but the intended recipient can touch it, and even then, not until he's ready for college.

Justme
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband has an ex-wife and 2 adult children with mental health issues. Kids have chosen to cut contact with most of the family but we remain open and willing to reconnect if they choose. We recently did our wills and included a clause that if anyone contests the will, they get nothing.

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very satisfying but don’t be surprised if mil has a last minute change of heart.

Anne Jones
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not the child of the affair who is at fault. She should leave something in trust for him when he’s an adult. He is her biological grandson too.

AMaureen Dance
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But who will be holding that trust? The ex? The AP? Neither have shown themselves to be particularly trust-worthy so far, so by time the kid is whatever age, the trust may have been skimmed all away. "Trust? What trust, son? Your Granny didn't like you. Didn't you know?"

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Matt
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow BP the math ain't mathing on the quiz 98% yes + 1% not sure + 2% depends=101%

Amused panda
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whilst those aren't the figures now, the maths you've stated just indicate rounding figures to the nearest whole number. It can easily happen if all figures ended above 0.5, e.g. 97.6 + 0.8 + 1.6.

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07000
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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07000
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This seems so ridiculously fake... nothing about it feels like it was written by a real person.

Trialia
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who whine about "fake" posts are so boring. I've known far worse folk than that, I assure you.

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Susical
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Biggest a$$holes are obviously the ex-husband & mistress. But I think the MIL is a little bit of one too. She's punishing her other grandchild for the sins of the parents. It isn't bad enough that the poor kid has terrible parents - he doesn't even get to know his grandmother. While I *completely* sympathize with OP - just a horrible experience - she needs some counseling to get through her rage at this other child. Continuing to call the child "it" and blaming him for the actions of his parents isn't healthy.

Trialia
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should she, when she won't be having anything to do with the new child? Did you *see* how this baby's mother treated her?

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Weasel Wise
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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OP seems to like the drama of the situation. She seems to have lots of info about her ex and his new family despite not having contact with them.

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