There’s no limit to three things, as far as I know. First, the numbers after the decimal point in the value of Pi. Second, my love for donuts (give me your powdered, your glazed, your sprinkled baked masses, I’ll eat them all). And third, the dumb things that people end up saying aloud.
Oh, we’ve all said dumb things that we wish we could take back (we still cringe when we think about those awkward moments while in the shower), but some people take the cake, the stand it was sitting on, and the entire bakery. When redditor ZakLorinator asked their fellow internet users to share the dumbest things that someone has told them, they delivered a truckload of tiny reasons to lose your faith in humanity. As you scroll down, upvote the responses that made you cringe inside. And if you feel your IQ lowering, you can always read this article right over here to raise it back up again.
Bored Panda wanted to learn how to make someone aware that they're incorrect without being rude and without triggering their defense mechanism, so we reached out to researcher and award-winning social psychologist Vanessa Bohns, who is the author of the forthcoming book 'You Have More Influence Than You Think.'
"People go on the defensive when you correct them in a way that makes them think there is something fundamentally wrong with them—for example, in a way that challenges their intelligence, or whether they are a good person," Vanessa said. Read on for her other insights, dear Pandas.
This post may include affiliate links.
I worked at a museum and had to let a girl go because she was going around telling everyone that dinosaurs weren’t real because no animals can breathe fire. She was a law student.
Her: “I think the law that requires you to wear a seatbelt is sooooo stupid. My body, my choice.”
Me: “Well what about your five-year-old son? You wouldn’t want to hurt him if he was riding with you, right?”
Her: (shrugs) “When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.”
Me: “Really? That’s how you feel about that? I mean...why even look before crossing the street, if ‘When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go’?”
Her: “Actually, I usually don’t look when I cross the street.”
"The spork is the devil's utensil because it's the amalgamation of masculine fork and feminine spoon, trying to blur gender lines in society."
Social psychologist Vanessa believes that the best approach is to focus on the error, not the person, so that they don't feel under attack. This is especially useful if we have to correct an authority figure or somebody that we look up to.
"It’s best to focus on the specific error, and to point it out in a way that simultaneously affirms the person’s broader positive identity, and potentially also normalizes making mistakes. For example, you could say something like, 'Some of the smartest people I know make that same mistake. I used to make it too, but then I discovered that this is actually the correct information…' That way, you can make the correction in a way that saves face for the other person," she explained.
I went on a date about 6 months ago with a girl who was really into astrology. I had asked if she wanted to eat at a certain restaurant and she said no because of something in her horoscope. I explained to her that some guy that works for the local newspaper wrote that, or at best some guy writes for a ton of newspapers. She got really mad and we had my favorite conversation to think about
Her: “that isn’t true only an astrologist can write horoscopes.”
Me: “it’s not like every publication has an astrologist on their payroll” Her: “it probably comes from a group of astrologists. It’s science and it’s illegal to lie about science, they would revoke that astrologist’s license” Me: “his what?”
No 2nd date.
I heard a person say, 'I don't want to swim in the ocean because I might get pregnant by a sperm whale.'
‘You’re twins? No you’re not. You can’t be twins if you don’t look alike. ’
Ma’am we’re fraternal.
How we approach things when we hear somebody say something that's blatantly wrong depends on the goal that we're trying trying to achieve. Naturally, we'll do things differently if we're trying to make the speaker aware of what's actually correct and if we want the audience to know if the speaker said something incorrect or even inappropriate.
"Of course, the more publicly and bluntly we correct someone, the more face-threatening, and therefore embarrassing it is for them (and, really, for everyone involved). So, if you are primarily interested in correcting the speaker, it probably makes sense to do it in the least embarrassing way—in private, and diplomatically," Vanessa pointed out that discretion can be a virtue in this case. However, this gentler approach doesn't always fit.
"Math isn't real. Like if I said 2+2=5 it would be true."
This was from a nursing student.
Someone said that Adam and Eve were white because they had seen pictures.
I sat next to a girl in bio who got 40% on our first test. She seemed quite pleased and said that now she only needed to get 40% again to have an average of 80%.
"There are times when we want to make sure the people exposed to the speaker’s comment know it is incorrect. For simple factual errors, it probably makes sense to publicly, but politely, note the error, so that the audience is able to focus more on the substance of the correction than on how the correction was made," the social psychologist told Bored Panda.
"However, if someone says something blatantly offensive, that’s when it can be okay to stop worrying so much about protecting the speaker’s face and saving them from embarrassment, and move towards more bluntly speaking against a statement in order to defend those who may have been offended or hurt by a comment and more forcefully ensure others won’t emulate it."
That I can’t be Jewish and German at the same time.
I told this girl that from my mom’s side I am Jewish (we’re not that religious though and my dad is Catholic) and that my mom was born in and is from Germany. Then she said that I and my mom can’t be German and Jewish because the Holocaust wiped every Jewish person from Germany and Europe out. Every single jewish person. I was thinking Has she never seen or heard a video from a Holocaust survivor? Bruh Also to top it all off so to say this girl was Jewish.
My coworker asked my boss, 'Can I have Monday off? It's my anniversary.' My boss responded, 'You got married on a Monday?
NASA makes up everything about space in order to convince us the earth is round, so the world governments can keep the hidden civilizations at the edge of the world a secret.
Not even kidding with that, my friend 100% believes that
Most issues that involve spilling silly verbal drivel are based on two things. The first is fairly simple—some of us (me included) speak before we think and end up sharing our unfiltered, honest opinions on things. Sometimes, those opinions can show our huge gaps in knowledge, as well as the importance of slowing down.
The solution to this is simple (i.e. simple but not easy because it requires a bit of soul-searching): teach yourself to have more patience. Relax. Think. Listen. Don’t rush to open your mouth. The second aspect, however, is much more complex and harder to tackle because it’s all to do with a lack of education. And that particular puzzle takes a while to solve.
The keys to educating yourself and filling in knowledge blindspots are dedicating the time needed to actually learn something new and keeping your mind open to new information. You really can’t learn something new that you think you know, so a certain level of humility (while still staying scientifically skeptical of everything) is always a plus.
A girl in my eighth grade geology class once said that the oceans were so polluted because the dirty animals wash themselves in it.
If you start thinking about what animals do in the oceans, washing themselves wouldn't worry me all that much compared to... you know
The sheer size of the ocean and the high salt content makes it unlikely to be a problem.
Load More Replies...In my biology class (aged around 15) a boy in my class asked if a rock was a plant or an animal. The teacher looked appalled. Asked the girl beside him, who was baffled, she didn't know. Several others thought it was a great question. Eventually I put my hand up and said 'neither, it's a mineral' and the teacher honestly looked relieved that someone knew the answer. I couldn't believe that several people in the class thought that a rock was either a plant or an animal.
At least she was only a kid?.... y eah, my hope for humanity is in the negative
Yes. Dirty animals known as humans. They also throw their own waste into oceans. Bad animals.
Bruh the oceans are DIRTY cause people ALL OVER THE WORLD LITTER o-0
i read your descripition, what was your old account?
Load More Replies...You know what, they do. But, that has nothing to do with the pollution because the particles in the ocean clean themselves with erosion as time goes on. (IDK if I even worded that right. Sorry)
So is that where all those plastic bags and plastic bottles came from?
Ah yes, and its totally not because of the trucks of garbage we dump every day!
polluted bc these people touch it (no offense but still... :( plz dont blame the fuzzy polar bears)
Overheard some lady saying her daughter isn't allowed to watch youtube any more because thats how people track you. She got this information from facebook.
my mom bans youtube because its a "waste of time" well its the only thing that keeps me going
It was night at summer camp and when I turned on a flashlight during a storm this guy started yelling at me to shut it off because, apparently, light attracts lightning.
Some knowledge blindspots will go away when you start engaging in new activities, whether it’s reading new books, watching unseen movies that you’d never even glance at before, or even meeting interesting people outside of your social circle.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to having the right attitude. Staying curious, driven, and open-minded is one thing, but you also have to embrace the possibility of failure. And not just failure—embarrassment, too. Anything worth doing or worth learning will inevitably mean that you may find yourself getting embarrassed because you might lack knowledge. But if you learn to use that feeling to your advantage, you can pretty much be unstoppable.
The TA for one of my classes in college said his parents didn't let him watch Veggie Tales as a kid because 'vegetables aren't supposed to have souls.'
My friend said, 'You're trying to tell me that our sun is a star? What are all those other things?' I proceed to show her an observable universe’s size comparison video. She said, 'Humans can’t look that far, I can’t even see the moon sometimes.'
Someone said that birds are mammals because they have meat.
Earlier, I spoke about with researcher Vanessa about embarrassing knowledge blindspots,. "We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa told Bored Panda.
"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing,” she shared.
Watching a sunset on the ocean one day when a late teens person asked me why the ocean doesn't put the sun's fire out.
a girl once told me she was a Vegan... But due to her medical condition she was required to eat meat which she did.. but still considered herself a Vegan.
A girl from Florida once told me 'because Australia is upside down, left is right and right is left'. I am Australian and told her she was right and not many people know that!
Embarrassment, fortunately, has its positive aspects. If we embrace it, we’ll be better liked than if we try to pretend that nothing shameful happened or that we didn’t make a mistake. That works when we say something incredibly dumb, too.
“One thing that’s interesting about embarrassment is that, for as much as we might experience it as painful in the moment, it’s actually very socially adaptive. Being embarrassed signals to other people that you care about what they think. And that actually draws people in to you,” Vanessa explained.
That rabbits come from eggs.
Yes because the easter bunny hides eggs on easter therefore they come from eggs
Someone told me the South Pole is hot because it's the south.
I was walking in a very popular, touristy park in the city I live in. There is a totem pole at the edge of the park that is very nice. While walking past I was asked by someone "Where can I buy seeds to grow one of these trees?" (person points to the totem pole) I said "It's a totem pole... They're carved from a tree. You can't grow them yourself." The person was flabbergasted.
“So blushing, burying your head in your hands, laughing, acknowledging how embarrassing something was, are all totally healthy ways to react,” the expert highlighted that, in a very meta way, we shouldn’t ever be embarrassed about being embarrassed.
“Do you guys ride horses to school?”
I’m from Houston... apparently my friend from New York thought all Texans had horses
There was a kid at my school who said his mom didn’t let him watch SpongeBob because she 'didn’t want the gay spirits in the house.' A few years later, he told everyone he was a furry so I don't know what changed over that time.
My ex wife (wife at the time) came home late, said she had a flat tire and that her and her girlfriend were able to put the spare on (I taught her that) then she said there was something she didn't understand. She said she saw a screw in the tire and wanted to know that if the screw was in the top of the tire, why was the bottom flat.
“The unhealthy way to react is to pretend you’re not embarrassed, that you didn’t make a mistake, or to get angry. Those things undo the positive effect that embarrassment typically has on other people by conveying insincerity and pushing people away rather than drawing them in."
An ex tried telling me that his therapist assured him that it was MY sole responsibility to remain in a relationship with him to keep his sanity in check.....i obviously disagreed. Im not your personal prescription.
A friend in high school told me he didn’t take the SAT because he heard it’s easier the second time.
I don't think that anytime soon will be easy for him to take the SAT
But what about you, dear Pandas? What's the dumbest thing that you've ever heard anyone say aloud, ever? What do you think the best way to react to idiotic statements is? Should we ignore them completely or should we confront them? Diplomatically? Head-on? Not at all? Share your thoughts below.
me: it's unfortunate that it's cloudy tonight, so we can't see the stars.
friend: "ohhhh, so THAT'S why you don't see the stars sometimes"
Apparently she thought only some nights were starry because of the Earth's rotation or something.
Someone told me that John Lennon was, in fact, the first president to be assassinated.
no john lennon was the first lemon to be eaten everybody knows that
That the post office doesnt ship mail to the Netherlands because you can't send physical mail to Hell. Just wanted to mail a postcard to my family in Eindhoven.
A teacher told me (and the rest of my class) the Earth was flat something like 25 years ago when I was in high school.
I had never heard of a flat earther at that time and I remember thinking how much of an idiot the person was and questioning with my classmates how that person was supposed to teach us anything.
Some 40 years ago my female English teacher sometimes told us jokes and one of them was "there are only 2 universal truths: 1. men are smarter than woman and 2. the earth is flat." At that time it was a good joke but meanwhile, I have actually heard people talking about the earth being flat and I doubt she would tell that joke again.
"Why are people Canadian?"
My step sister told me we should see the PG-13 movie because PG meant 'pretty good.
Someone once told me they saved the internet on a floppy disk. They actually saved their dial up connection shortcut, but they truly were convinced that it contained the whole internet.
Someone once asked me, 'When is 9/11 again?' I didn't know if they were joking or not so I laughed. They were serious.
Maybe they got the dates mixed up because Americans write it differently..? Idk, sorry.
Someone pointed at my glucose monitoring device and asked, 'Do you have diabetes in your arm or is it in your stomach?
The root word of infant was "infinite", therefore, infants have infinite wisdom.
My friend thought
New Jersey was tropical and warm year round
Hot dogs were made from stray dogs
Tupac killed bob Marley
Elephant ear from the fair we’re real elephants
When John McCain died she told everyone in government class that joe Biden just died
Among many others
'It's not an MLM, you have to pay for those and they are illegal... I only paid £50 to get started'
She didn’t tell me but her daughter. A little girl asked her mother why the polar bears wouldn’t go in the water. We were at the zoo and it was a sunny day about 50degrees outside.
The mother responded. “Because it too cold for them honey”.
That direction can’t be north because it’s diagonal and north has to be in a straight line. What?
A friend heard somewhere Mr Roger's was a sniper and he got a new tattoo for every kill. That is why he wore a sweater.
I met someone once who thought that the Sydney Harbour Bridge was the route from Australia to New Zealand, and that you could walk over to New Zealand for the day.....
I was born with 1 blue eye and 1 half blue half brown eye. People say to me all the time "Do you know you have brown in your eye?
Please tell me that sometimes you respond with screaming and grabbing your eye
Load More Replies...I sometimes have to explain to people that gender is a social construct and has nothing to do with biology. Looking at you, CowboyHank.
In French and Spanish and many other languages, objects have a gender. A car in French is feminine, "une voiture", doesn't mean it is biologically a female (in Spanish it is masculine) -- For hundreds of years the word "gender" only referred to this use of grammar. Eventually it started being used in English for describing "masculine" or "feminine" behavior. Again, not about biology, just 1950s sorts of cultural things like "being a provider is masculine, being nurturing is feminine". Then one day, someone like CowboyHank didn't like saying "what sex is that child", because "sex" is also a naughty word... and people like Hank don't want to say naughty words in polite company. So they decided to say "what gender is that child". Even though that's not what the word meant.
Load More Replies...I'm aspergic, I F#ck up the majority of the time. I genuinely don't mean to offend. But I do speak my mind. Oh yeah, it's got me in trouble many times. Life is a delicate balance.
I try not to be angry or offended by people who are clueless. I just try to gently give them the opportunity to learn. I'm sure for some of them, it's not their fault they don't know better... Obviously there are others who are just stubborn. But some are also in an environment that forbids knowledge
Sometimes it's really hard to avoid being snarky.
Load More Replies...It was the year 2014. When we buy alcohol here you give them your license or ID card. They type your date of birth in the register and the register tells you if the person is of legal age. She thought the date of me getting my license was my date of birth... which was 2012. And told me i wasnt old enough..... Ma'am.... do i look two years old to you...
I knew a girl that told me the following: 1) The Taliban was like the Afghani Pentagon, 2) "contact high" was when smoke clouded up your contact lenses, and the best one 3) Buddhism is a branch of Christianity. Each one put the pause into me.
So many can't understand alcohol percentages... They think if they drink a 750ml bottle of 40% alcohol it'll get them as drink as a 375ml bottle of the same alcohol because they are both 40%. And this is the sober shopping for the alcohol. This actually hurt my head trying to remember this. ..
Former co-worker: "Sea scallops are cut from fish cheeks using a cookie cutter." I literally couldn't convince her that scallops are actually animals. — Overheard in a waiting room: "Black squirrels are the offspring of grey squirrels and black cats." *headdesk* — Could we please have the ability to make paragraphs in our comments?!
There once was a fishing industry problem with fake sea scallops being sold. They were being cut cookie-cutter style from non-scallop fish.
Load More Replies...I am very pale. Someone once asked me ‘do you never go outside to stay so pale?’ We were outside at the time.
Overheard at the zoo- Little girl: "look mommy, otters!" Mommy: "no honey, those aren't otters. Otters can't swim." There was a large sign that clearly stated that the animals in question were, in fact, otters. *Facepalm*
I was watching the Miss All American Girl competition on television one night. One contestant was asked to name one of the two countries that border the US. She said “Spain?”. You just can’t make this stuff up. I guess the contestants expected to only be asked about what goes on just within the US borders. Or on Instagram.
I worked in a bar once that had live music. A new guy started up, and after a few nights he said to me, "You know, that band isn't very good, they just play the same bunch of songs every night."
Bloggers Must realize their posts are seen by the world and often don't leave a good impression of Americans.
My sis thinks that when characters in a movie die, the actors actually die in real life & more...
When your 18 yr old sister yells out "What's a queef?" In the middle of the shopping centre
Most recently, I went the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. The person checking me out says "I see you have another script scheduled to be filled tomorrow. Do you want to wait for it?" I told her "I'm not planning to stay over night, so no thank you." She face palmed herself. Years ago, we had a car die at the gas pump. We'd filled it up, and then nothing. I went in to tell the clerk inside that the car was dead and we had called AAA but they'd be half an hour or so. "If you could just move it away from the pumps that would be great" I asked him if he expected me to push it out of the way. It took a few seconds for the reality of what he'd said to kick in. He face palmed.
What kind of tank are you driving that can't be pushed?
Load More Replies...A coworker and I were reading newspapers on our break one day when he read an article about "ethnic uprisings" in Russia. He looked confused, then said, "I didn't know that there were any Black people in Russia?" He's an engineer BTW.
A girl who was recently in Corona panic mode asked me if her fish can get a fever. I told her to watch out if the water starts boiling. She then asked me if there is fever medication for fish. I told her to try ice cubes. I still have no idea if she realized that I was joking...
An English business associate of my wife told her he was disappointed after his plane landed in Daton in February. Seems he got off the plane in shorts and sandals asking where was the beach?
I have one eye that is half blue and half brown. My other eye is blue. People say this to me all the time: "Do you know you have a brown spot in your eye?" Yep. I have looked in a mirror idiots.
I think this is a perfectly fine example proving that humans have survived Too long..
I think it's unfair to call them xenophobic (unless there was another reason to think that). There are still countries in Europe where it is not recommended to drink the tap water. In fact, although the water in some places is technically considered safe to drink, there can be high levels of a type of chemical linked to increased rates of bladder cancer. Spain is one of them.
Load More Replies...well, gender is a social construct, and refers to one's self-identity. sex has to do with chromosomes and genitals. i think you've mixed them up
Load More Replies...I met someone once who thought that the Sydney Harbour Bridge was the route from Australia to New Zealand, and that you could walk over to New Zealand for the day.....
I was born with 1 blue eye and 1 half blue half brown eye. People say to me all the time "Do you know you have brown in your eye?
Please tell me that sometimes you respond with screaming and grabbing your eye
Load More Replies...I sometimes have to explain to people that gender is a social construct and has nothing to do with biology. Looking at you, CowboyHank.
In French and Spanish and many other languages, objects have a gender. A car in French is feminine, "une voiture", doesn't mean it is biologically a female (in Spanish it is masculine) -- For hundreds of years the word "gender" only referred to this use of grammar. Eventually it started being used in English for describing "masculine" or "feminine" behavior. Again, not about biology, just 1950s sorts of cultural things like "being a provider is masculine, being nurturing is feminine". Then one day, someone like CowboyHank didn't like saying "what sex is that child", because "sex" is also a naughty word... and people like Hank don't want to say naughty words in polite company. So they decided to say "what gender is that child". Even though that's not what the word meant.
Load More Replies...I'm aspergic, I F#ck up the majority of the time. I genuinely don't mean to offend. But I do speak my mind. Oh yeah, it's got me in trouble many times. Life is a delicate balance.
I try not to be angry or offended by people who are clueless. I just try to gently give them the opportunity to learn. I'm sure for some of them, it's not their fault they don't know better... Obviously there are others who are just stubborn. But some are also in an environment that forbids knowledge
Sometimes it's really hard to avoid being snarky.
Load More Replies...It was the year 2014. When we buy alcohol here you give them your license or ID card. They type your date of birth in the register and the register tells you if the person is of legal age. She thought the date of me getting my license was my date of birth... which was 2012. And told me i wasnt old enough..... Ma'am.... do i look two years old to you...
I knew a girl that told me the following: 1) The Taliban was like the Afghani Pentagon, 2) "contact high" was when smoke clouded up your contact lenses, and the best one 3) Buddhism is a branch of Christianity. Each one put the pause into me.
So many can't understand alcohol percentages... They think if they drink a 750ml bottle of 40% alcohol it'll get them as drink as a 375ml bottle of the same alcohol because they are both 40%. And this is the sober shopping for the alcohol. This actually hurt my head trying to remember this. ..
Former co-worker: "Sea scallops are cut from fish cheeks using a cookie cutter." I literally couldn't convince her that scallops are actually animals. — Overheard in a waiting room: "Black squirrels are the offspring of grey squirrels and black cats." *headdesk* — Could we please have the ability to make paragraphs in our comments?!
There once was a fishing industry problem with fake sea scallops being sold. They were being cut cookie-cutter style from non-scallop fish.
Load More Replies...I am very pale. Someone once asked me ‘do you never go outside to stay so pale?’ We were outside at the time.
Overheard at the zoo- Little girl: "look mommy, otters!" Mommy: "no honey, those aren't otters. Otters can't swim." There was a large sign that clearly stated that the animals in question were, in fact, otters. *Facepalm*
I was watching the Miss All American Girl competition on television one night. One contestant was asked to name one of the two countries that border the US. She said “Spain?”. You just can’t make this stuff up. I guess the contestants expected to only be asked about what goes on just within the US borders. Or on Instagram.
I worked in a bar once that had live music. A new guy started up, and after a few nights he said to me, "You know, that band isn't very good, they just play the same bunch of songs every night."
Bloggers Must realize their posts are seen by the world and often don't leave a good impression of Americans.
My sis thinks that when characters in a movie die, the actors actually die in real life & more...
When your 18 yr old sister yells out "What's a queef?" In the middle of the shopping centre
Most recently, I went the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. The person checking me out says "I see you have another script scheduled to be filled tomorrow. Do you want to wait for it?" I told her "I'm not planning to stay over night, so no thank you." She face palmed herself. Years ago, we had a car die at the gas pump. We'd filled it up, and then nothing. I went in to tell the clerk inside that the car was dead and we had called AAA but they'd be half an hour or so. "If you could just move it away from the pumps that would be great" I asked him if he expected me to push it out of the way. It took a few seconds for the reality of what he'd said to kick in. He face palmed.
What kind of tank are you driving that can't be pushed?
Load More Replies...A coworker and I were reading newspapers on our break one day when he read an article about "ethnic uprisings" in Russia. He looked confused, then said, "I didn't know that there were any Black people in Russia?" He's an engineer BTW.
A girl who was recently in Corona panic mode asked me if her fish can get a fever. I told her to watch out if the water starts boiling. She then asked me if there is fever medication for fish. I told her to try ice cubes. I still have no idea if she realized that I was joking...
An English business associate of my wife told her he was disappointed after his plane landed in Daton in February. Seems he got off the plane in shorts and sandals asking where was the beach?
I have one eye that is half blue and half brown. My other eye is blue. People say this to me all the time: "Do you know you have a brown spot in your eye?" Yep. I have looked in a mirror idiots.
I think this is a perfectly fine example proving that humans have survived Too long..
I think it's unfair to call them xenophobic (unless there was another reason to think that). There are still countries in Europe where it is not recommended to drink the tap water. In fact, although the water in some places is technically considered safe to drink, there can be high levels of a type of chemical linked to increased rates of bladder cancer. Spain is one of them.
Load More Replies...well, gender is a social construct, and refers to one's self-identity. sex has to do with chromosomes and genitals. i think you've mixed them up
Load More Replies...