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There's probably not one person in the world who hasn't felt dumb at one point or another in their lives. It's only human to experience mild brain farts from time to time, no matter your IQ, academic achievements, or profession. We're all highly susceptible to blunders, and that's okay!
However, there's no denying that dumb things are funny. There's a reason why Reddit always seems to love threads about the dumbest thing someone has said or done. Dumbest injuries? Viral. Dumbest things kids have said? Viral. So when someone on the r/AskReddit subreddit asked "What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard?" of course there were over 15k people that upvoted the thread and thousands of others participating in it. However, Bored Panda has handpicked you 50 stories that we enjoyed reading the most. Scroll down below to read them all and share in the comment section the dumbest thing you have heard!
More info: Reddit
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#1
"If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there..."
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#2
I drive for Uber on the weekends and one time a girl who was in her late 20’s told me that I was making her uncomfortable. I haven’t said a word the whole trip so I asked how I could make the situation better. She said she didn’t like how i kept “playing with the fidget stick in the middle of my car.” I drive a manual. She then told me that I didn’t need to use that because “her car didn’t have that” and claimed to be a mechanic
#3
I was in a college class, and we were talking about agriculture. Me being from a farming town I was explaining how important certain aspects of farming are interesting, and super important. This one student was not budging, and she was refusing whatever I was saying. I asked her why she was so against farming, and she said "I think we should get rid of all of them. We don't need them." I asked her if she liked to eat, and she said we would be fine. We could just get food from the stores. I asked her how she planned on getting that food into the store. She responded with "Well they already make all the food in the store as it is right? Why do we need farms. They're stealing money from our local businesses." So in a nutshell. She thought everything, flowers, fish, chicken, loaf bread, and like everything. Was made in the stores, and that's why we don't need farms.
Zoe's Mom 4 years ago
City girl here; born and raised in San Francisco. I went hiking in Yosemite and a baby bear came walking through a crowd of people wanting to get to the falls for water. I looked at the friends I was with and said, "Let's get out of here; if Mama Bear comes, this is going to be bears McDonalds". A guy in front turned and looked at me and said "You means that's not a full grown bear"! We just left.
#4
A girls in math class didnt understand fractions. We got down to this because the teacher was explaining smething else pretty simple that she didnt understand. So broke it down and figured out she didnt get fractions. Well, thats a little odd but with a minute of explanation she should get it.
Nope. Teacher asked "what is larger, 1/2 or 1/3?" The girl said 3 is more than 2 so 1/3 is larger.
Teacher drew two circles on the board, divided one in two and the other in three parts. "Which is bigger?" Girl gave the same answer.
Teacher erazed both circles, grabbed two pieces of paper, ripped one in half, one in thirds. Held up a piece of both "Which one is larger?" Girl pointed out the 1/3 piece.
"Forget that there are more piece" and he binned the rest, holding up the initial two pieces again. "Just look at the size. Which one is larger?" Girl pointed out the smaller one again.
Defeated, teacher lowered his arms and walked back to his desk. "Please take no offense in this... but are you familiar with the words and concepts of "smaller and larger"?" He asked, as this class turned more sesamestreety by the second.
The girl said she did. Teacher pointed outside. "See those trees? Which is larger, right or left?" "Left", girl said and she was right. The left tree was about 5 metres taller. "Then which piece of paper is larger?" Holding them up again. Girl pointed out the smaller piece and the teacher walked out of the classroom.
#5
Reminds me of someone who wrote a negative review of their Spain trip, saying everyone were foreigners and they didn’t speak English
#6
Me: “What weighs more; a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?”
Coworker: “Bricks!”
It took me about 15 minutes to explain the answer to him, which included me drawing it out on paper and using a kitchen scale with different items for examples. I drank so much that night.
#7
When I was getting a new aquarium, I put my fish into plastic bags of water to hold them while I set up the new tank.
My Mother panicked and started punching holes in the bags with a pencil. When I asked her what in the good god she was doing, she came back with:
"I'm putting air holes in the bag so your fish don't suffocate. Come on helljack, use your head!"
Nothing I said could convince her she wasn't the hero of this tale.
#8
Had a friend over years ago and we were talking about my plasma TV.
He said that he would never buy a plasma tv because he didn't want to have to replace the plasma when it ran out.
I didn't correct him. I thought it would be best if he didn't buy a plasma tv.
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
My husband and I shared stories of when we found out there was another meaning for plasma. For me it was sitting and thinking "obviously there's not the straw coloured fluid that is the basis of blood in a plasma TV, so what does it mean?" and for him it was being alarmed to discover that people apparently have a substance hotter than gas in their veins . . .
#9
Elderly lady my mom knew refused to ever drink Colombian coffee because she was convinced that they "secretly put cocaine in it".
If that was the case, every store would be sold out of it as soon as they got it in.
Idiot.
#10
Someone was convinced that Queen stole the bass line to "Under Pressure" from Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby". He wasn't even saying it as a joke.
#11
Someone giving their one month old infant a bottle full of juice and water because her mother said to. Also denying the professional nutritionist that told her that’s bad for a baby. Another baby, under one year old, who’s mom puts soda in a bottle because the baby likes it. I don’t think people realize how actually life threatening it is to give their own children these things. And the fact that they don’t put an ounce of research into what they give their kids, or listen to the professionals telling them what their doing is wrong, just makes me so angry.
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
They've done the research, read all the FaceBook wisdom about vaccines etc. Real world facts, not book knowlegde!
#12
I used to work in a grocery store and this elderly woman said, “Twenty-five cents a pound? I can get them 4 pounds for a dollar at Safeway
#13
If you have sex with a pregnant girl you can change the biological dad to you. We went to a prestigious school and he wasnt dumb. Everyone looked at him like an idiot
#14
My co worker honestly thinks if we keep throwing our garbage into the ocean that nature will "take care of it" with no negative consequences.
#15
Freshman English class... we were reading Lord of the Flies at the same time the movie Alive (about a soccer team's plane crashing in the Andes mountains) came out. Since both were about groups being stranded and the politics/society building that results, we were discussing the movie in class one day. When discussing their resorting to cannibalism as they remained stranded on the mountain, this one girl asked, "Why didn't they just order Domino's or something and have it delivered?"
#16
When I did tattoos, I had a guy come into the shop that wanted "Mr. 113" on his wrist. Not really all that out of the ordinary. We get it drawn up, my co worker placed it and she starts to do the tattoo. As soon as she starts, the guy screams in pain and jumps up. "What the hell is in that thing?! Is there a needle in there?! That [crap] hurts!" .... what?! This guy was in his 30s or 40s. How do you not know how tattoos are done?! He said, "I don't know. Just thought it was some permanent ink or something." The guy went outside for almost an hour to smoke and I guess hype himself up. He got the outline done at least, but couldn't take the pain anymore and didn't get it filled. Still can't believe he didn't know tattoos were done with a needle.
#17
Can't you just hold in your period or stop it?
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I sooooo wish we could without it involving a pregnancy or surgery.
#18
I had a patient tell me once that smoking can’t cause cancer and it’s all a big hoax... as I took him to his chemo appointment for lung cancer, which was most likely because he smoked 40 a day. (How can anyone afford to do that?)
#19
My old housemate thought that Down Syndrome was something you could get from vaccines.
She wasn’t anti-vax. She was talking about vaccines and said “I don’t get why parents are afraid to get their kids vaccinated. The chances of catching Down syndrome are really low.”
#20
Obama has a "weather machine," and that's why it's so hot outside. Person was dead serious, and worked in DC for the federal government for over 25 years, nearing retirement.
Truth Monster 4 years ago
He totally does, He keeps in in a vault next to his *real* birth certificate from Africa and the cure for COVID. And Cancer.
#21
15 year old girl was afraid that she may be pregnant because she had unprotected sex, with another girl.
Truth Monster 4 years ago
These days that's not as stupid as it sounds. If that other girl is trans, for instance.
#22
A girl I used to work with was pissed that her boyfriend "only bought me 12 roses! He wouldn't even go all out for a dozen, whatta jerk!"
#23
That politician is already rich. He cannot be a thief.
#26
My younger cousin (boy) in Bangladesh got bitten a monkey, somehow. My uncle (not the cousin’s Dad) genuine was worried that would make him pregnant. Some weird old ancient folk tale. He genuinely believed it, I can’t even with that amount of stupidity.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
At least that had a basis in myth. Sone of these other people pull stupid ideas out of their a**es.
#27
I was on a date with a girl and she was talking about how being smart made things difficult for her. She said she felt like a social piranha........
Truth Monster 4 years ago
Social piranhas are what happens to smart people after they become cynics of humanity. Start tearing people apart.
#29
Recently my relative told me he got a bunch of credit cards and maxed them out, he plans on paying them back with next year tax refund. He then quit his job. Same relative always makes fun of me for having "book smarts" but not "street smarts", but the older I get the more I realize being able to look at my finances, live within my means and squirrel some away is a form of "street smarts" that a lot of people seem to be lacking.
Also pretty much any comment on my local news facebook page. A recent one was about a renovated gas station. One person commented complaining that they spent all that money and took away gas pumps, someone else commented that they actually had added several, the only reason the line was longer was because it was new and everyone was going there to see the improvements. The lady replied back really nastily saying she had a J-O-B and didn't have time to count gas pumps, unlike some other "lowlifes", completely oblivious that she looked like an idiot. The article even mentioned that they added more pumps, but again, she has to work for a living to pay taxes for the welfare bums, she don't got time for reading that either. A simple "oh crap I must have been mistaken" or better yet not commenting at all would have sufficed. This situation is not uncommon at all.
#30
Q: Do you like bon jovi?
A: No, I don't eat italian food.
What do you think ?
Yettichild 4 years ago
I was on a cruise to Alaska a few years ago and a large number of people were out on deck to see humpback whales that had been spotted. As is usually the case, there were a bunch of birds taking advantage of the situation and diving to catch the small fish/krill the whales had rounded up. One lady exclaimed "Oh my god! The whales are eating birds!" A man turns around and replied "But I thought whales only eat kelp."
Miomirko Buhtlić 4 years ago
Heard a first hand story about a woman who had her savings converted from Deutsch Marks to Euros. Conversion rate was 2:1, so her savings went from (e.g.) 20.000 DEM to 10.000 EUR. No one could convince her that the bank didn't steal half of her money.
Princess Procrastination 4 years ago
My cousins science teacher was very religious and when telling them about biology he would tell everyone that it was god who made it all and not the actual answers.
Caroline Driver 4 years ago
I know everybody gets brain farts, but some of these are just deep to the bone stupid, and often arrogant with it. I hope I never meet any of them
Chris DiFonso 4 years ago
To me, the most appalling this is that so many people are proud of how ignorant they are.
Bunny Wood 4 years ago
Used to run big box retail. Had a customer come in and complain that his microwave didn't work during a power cut and he only bought it as a back up to his oven. I didn't know if he was taking mickey or not, but he was 100 % serious
Yeah, you heard 4 years ago
Too many of these examples are from schoolkids. You know what, kids don't know everything, they're still learning. They should be allowed to make mistakes in the privacy of the classroom without it making it's way onto social media/BP for everyone to laugh at them. Smh
fuggnuggins 4 years ago
You know, I have a good friend who has aspergers. Some of these things are things that she might sometimes confuse because she tends to be more of a visual learner and doesn't process auditory input so well. She also startles at minor sounds and takes a few moments to figure out what it was. She's by no means stupid. Smarter than many people I know. Just has a different learning style. And she has been put through so much s**t her entire life (now 35) for being "dumb", when in fact the issue is that she's surrounded by putrid people who can't recognise smart, can't understand different, and don't realise that it is them who are being stupid. This is, in my view, a perfect reflection of Bored Pansies.
Bob Belcher 4 years ago
If it wern' t for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
LittleMissLotus 4 years ago
Okay, some of these seem too ridiculous, like someone was screwing with the poster lol. At least, that's what I hope happened...
NaruTheCollective 3 years ago (edited)
I live in a suburb of Chicago, IL and I am in a program for Sterile Processing Techs. Today, our teacher asked us for the Genus and Species classification of humans. The answer is Homo and Sapien. (Homo sapien). She then asked for another name for humans and one of the female students said "Amphibian". Y'ALL WE ARE FROGS, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!! (So an SPT is someone who is on the surgical team in the hospital. SPTs clean, disinfect, inspect, package, sort and deliver surgical tools in hospitals. We need to know microbiology and be able to understand pathogens, viruses and bacteria. To do this, we need to learn their classifications and proper names.) I am very afraid for the patients that need surgery in whatever hospital this bitch ends up working in. RIBBIT.
Mei-Yee Dun 4 years ago (edited)
The dumbest thing I've heard is in the last presidential debate (2020) Trump literally said and I quote:" I take full responsibility, -it's not my fault!" Had me crack up! :)
Tristan Parker 4 years ago
My husband had a childhood friend who thought the sun and the moon only flipped over, that they were the same thing just flipping over like a coin. oh and that she was molested by a ghost she was admit about the sun and moon until she was 24.
Samantha Cruz 4 years ago
just the other day I heard a fully grown man say that Insulin prices in the US were as cheap as water.... He's also been known to recommend injecting bleach to fight off viral infections and despite having absolutely no medical background and against the recommendation of multiple actual doctors suggested that people should take hydroxychloroquine (an anti-malarial drug) to treat a virus. it's really sad that we don't have an effective system to get these mentally challenged individuals in this country the psychiatric help that they so desperately need.
Elizabeth Butler 4 years ago
After the first few I had to quickly scroll to the bottom because this was ruining my day.
Deb Martin Knaff 4 years ago
First questions asked by folks In Glacier Park was what time does the next glacier float by and how do you get bear bells on the bears? When I lived in Alaska, folks coming off the cruise ships asked how high above sea level are we?
Crycket 4 years ago
Worked in a live theatre, someone asked one of the ushers "do these stairs go up?" Believe the answer they got was "from here they do, from the top they go down"
Keryl Cryer 4 years ago
I had a friend who said he really liked dogs. I told him that, recently, I was bonding with a Maltese, and he asked, “That’s a falcon, right?” I thought he was making a joke until he typed it in on Google.
Pascale Pierloot 4 years ago
I know someone who asked her doctor if she didn't need tot take 2 birth control pills instead of one? As to why, she answered her boyfriend was such a huge lad.
Bob Belcher 4 years ago
Is it me or do most of these seem far too stupid to be real. As if a 10 year old was writing these to impress someone. If any of these are real, we need to take them out.
Peter Kelly 4 years ago
My father called at a shop to buy some eggs and asked for 18. The assistant apologised and said they only sold them in sixes and twelves. When I was at school I had a major confrontation with my Physics master who stated that walking was more energy efficient than riding a bike. Idiot!
Treessimontrees 4 years ago
I was in a hardware shop and a young man came in and asked for a "long stand". The worker without missing a beat said "wait here, I'll be right back" - and promptly left the young man standing there for a good ten minutes.
Yettichild 4 years ago
I was on a cruise to Alaska a few years ago and a large number of people were out on deck to see humpback whales that had been spotted. As is usually the case, there were a bunch of birds taking advantage of the situation and diving to catch the small fish/krill the whales had rounded up. One lady exclaimed "Oh my god! The whales are eating birds!" A man turns around and replied "But I thought whales only eat kelp."
Miomirko Buhtlić 4 years ago
Heard a first hand story about a woman who had her savings converted from Deutsch Marks to Euros. Conversion rate was 2:1, so her savings went from (e.g.) 20.000 DEM to 10.000 EUR. No one could convince her that the bank didn't steal half of her money.
Princess Procrastination 4 years ago
My cousins science teacher was very religious and when telling them about biology he would tell everyone that it was god who made it all and not the actual answers.
Caroline Driver 4 years ago
I know everybody gets brain farts, but some of these are just deep to the bone stupid, and often arrogant with it. I hope I never meet any of them
Chris DiFonso 4 years ago
To me, the most appalling this is that so many people are proud of how ignorant they are.
Bunny Wood 4 years ago
Used to run big box retail. Had a customer come in and complain that his microwave didn't work during a power cut and he only bought it as a back up to his oven. I didn't know if he was taking mickey or not, but he was 100 % serious
Yeah, you heard 4 years ago
Too many of these examples are from schoolkids. You know what, kids don't know everything, they're still learning. They should be allowed to make mistakes in the privacy of the classroom without it making it's way onto social media/BP for everyone to laugh at them. Smh
fuggnuggins 4 years ago
You know, I have a good friend who has aspergers. Some of these things are things that she might sometimes confuse because she tends to be more of a visual learner and doesn't process auditory input so well. She also startles at minor sounds and takes a few moments to figure out what it was. She's by no means stupid. Smarter than many people I know. Just has a different learning style. And she has been put through so much s**t her entire life (now 35) for being "dumb", when in fact the issue is that she's surrounded by putrid people who can't recognise smart, can't understand different, and don't realise that it is them who are being stupid. This is, in my view, a perfect reflection of Bored Pansies.
Bob Belcher 4 years ago
If it wern' t for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
LittleMissLotus 4 years ago
Okay, some of these seem too ridiculous, like someone was screwing with the poster lol. At least, that's what I hope happened...
NaruTheCollective 3 years ago (edited)
I live in a suburb of Chicago, IL and I am in a program for Sterile Processing Techs. Today, our teacher asked us for the Genus and Species classification of humans. The answer is Homo and Sapien. (Homo sapien). She then asked for another name for humans and one of the female students said "Amphibian". Y'ALL WE ARE FROGS, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!! (So an SPT is someone who is on the surgical team in the hospital. SPTs clean, disinfect, inspect, package, sort and deliver surgical tools in hospitals. We need to know microbiology and be able to understand pathogens, viruses and bacteria. To do this, we need to learn their classifications and proper names.) I am very afraid for the patients that need surgery in whatever hospital this bitch ends up working in. RIBBIT.
Mei-Yee Dun 4 years ago (edited)
The dumbest thing I've heard is in the last presidential debate (2020) Trump literally said and I quote:" I take full responsibility, -it's not my fault!" Had me crack up! :)
Tristan Parker 4 years ago
My husband had a childhood friend who thought the sun and the moon only flipped over, that they were the same thing just flipping over like a coin. oh and that she was molested by a ghost she was admit about the sun and moon until she was 24.
Samantha Cruz 4 years ago
just the other day I heard a fully grown man say that Insulin prices in the US were as cheap as water.... He's also been known to recommend injecting bleach to fight off viral infections and despite having absolutely no medical background and against the recommendation of multiple actual doctors suggested that people should take hydroxychloroquine (an anti-malarial drug) to treat a virus. it's really sad that we don't have an effective system to get these mentally challenged individuals in this country the psychiatric help that they so desperately need.
Elizabeth Butler 4 years ago
After the first few I had to quickly scroll to the bottom because this was ruining my day.
Deb Martin Knaff 4 years ago
First questions asked by folks In Glacier Park was what time does the next glacier float by and how do you get bear bells on the bears? When I lived in Alaska, folks coming off the cruise ships asked how high above sea level are we?
Crycket 4 years ago
Worked in a live theatre, someone asked one of the ushers "do these stairs go up?" Believe the answer they got was "from here they do, from the top they go down"
Keryl Cryer 4 years ago
I had a friend who said he really liked dogs. I told him that, recently, I was bonding with a Maltese, and he asked, “That’s a falcon, right?” I thought he was making a joke until he typed it in on Google.
Pascale Pierloot 4 years ago
I know someone who asked her doctor if she didn't need tot take 2 birth control pills instead of one? As to why, she answered her boyfriend was such a huge lad.
Bob Belcher 4 years ago
Is it me or do most of these seem far too stupid to be real. As if a 10 year old was writing these to impress someone. If any of these are real, we need to take them out.
Peter Kelly 4 years ago
My father called at a shop to buy some eggs and asked for 18. The assistant apologised and said they only sold them in sixes and twelves. When I was at school I had a major confrontation with my Physics master who stated that walking was more energy efficient than riding a bike. Idiot!
Treessimontrees 4 years ago
I was in a hardware shop and a young man came in and asked for a "long stand". The worker without missing a beat said "wait here, I'll be right back" - and promptly left the young man standing there for a good ten minutes.
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