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30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Not a surgeon or doctor, but an Anesthesia Nurse/ OR Nurse...
But a mom directly lied to us about her 12 year old pre ENT surgery.

We always confirm with the pacient and legal guardians all the pre surgery check up:
Name
Age/date of birth
Any past medical history
Common medication, and medication took in the last 24h
Surgery proposed
Last time you eat or drink anything

The thing is in the last item of the check list the mom lied... Her answer "no he doesn't eat anything since yesterday", the kid confirmed. Note that it was 4 PM.

Outcome:

Surgery went well, no problems. When comes the time to remove the tube... The kid starts vomiting tons of rice and beans... When I say tons I mean at least 1kg of said food.
The kid aspirates part of the food against our best efforts... We aspirate do everything we can including a broncofibroscopy.

Everything ends up ok, the kid survived, no further complications and recovered to full health in only 2 days.

When confronted about the lie, and explained how her son could have died, the "Karen" mom said "what could I do?! He was ungry and eats like a bull! Who am I to say he can't" We all lost our pacience and just said "HIS MOM!!! , he could and was close to dieing because of this"

Conclusion: Please take the fasting period, and pre surgery recommendations seriously, any doubt be honest with your health team.

Togarriapa , Vidal Balielo Jr. Report

Final score:

332points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago (edited)

My chick needed general anesthesia when she was only a year and 3 months old. She had been without food or drink for hours already and her procedure kept being delayed hour after hour. It was heartbreaking, because when I tried to comfort her it was even worse as she could *smell* the milk when holding her to my chest. And she didn't understand why I didn't give her anything. But I held out, because I KNOW dying of aspiration would be far, far worse than this!

196points

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients "Do you have any medical problems?"

"No"

"So no diabetes?"

"No diabetes"

"What medications are you taking?"

"Metformin. For my diabetes."

I facepalm every time

Retinator99 , JESHOOTS.com Report

Final score:

327points

POST

Pamela24 1 year ago

Every time?! How has this happened more than once?

100points

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients In the ER, 4 am, teenage girl and her parents arrive, she's been constipated for days and no poop has come out at all. I was busy so I ask the nurse to check if the patient indeed has poop and needs an enema. So a rectal exam is needed. A few minutes later the nurse urgently called me. When we uncovered the girl (she had tons of clothes) we just saw this cute little head popping out. A baby on the way.
' why didn't you tell us that you were pregnant?' I asked
"I'm not pregnant" she kept saying while I was cutting the umbilical cord
She lied to her parents (don't know how to this day) the whole pregnancy. She lived with them. I had to explain everything to the parents. They didn't have a clue and judging by their face, I believed them.

drneck , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

295points

POST

Bart 1 year ago

Well, as soon as you cut the umbilical cord she's not pregnant anymore 😂

80points

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I fell down onto my couch and a cucumber was sticking up between the cushions. It went right in.

B1Turb0 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

291points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

Geez, at least think your lie through before you tell it!

125points

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Had a patient show up the ER with a wound to the back of her head.

I say, “Hey Ms. X, what happened?”

“I don’t know, I picked up chicken from the gas station and went to bed. And this morning I noticed I was bleeding”

I start inspecting the wound. Looks like it tracks pretty far, and there’s this strange cotton-like material sticking out that is also tracking too deep to visualize. I press her some more about the circumstances because my ER Doc spider sense starts going off.

Me: “Were you assaulted? Did someone harm you? Were you in a car accident? Did something fall on you”

Patient: “No. I just went to bed. Maybe I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom”

Finally I decide to send her through the Donut Of Truth (aka get a CT scan) of her head before me and my trusty scalpel start seeing where this trail of mystery cotton leads.

The lady had a bullet lodged up against her skull bone.

Still don’t have an answer to the cotton, but I’m guessing the gun fired through some cloth.

When I told her she had a bullet in her head her response was “Oh. weird” and then she went back to playing candy crush on her phone.

HoopsyDaisy , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

266points

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Bookworm 1 year ago

Not an expert by any means, but this sounds like possible domestic abuse. Hope someone followed up.

231points

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Once I asked a patient if he had done any surgeries in the past and he said no. When we did a CT abdomen he had one kidney and signs of scarring, so I went back to ask what happened to the kidney. He said he has no idea and started winking at me and sweating. I took the hint and came back later when he was alone, turns out he sold his kidney because he lost a lot of money gambling.

Karakiali , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

259points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

O. M. G!

157points

materiamasta , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients One dude lied about being paralyzed after a lumbar puncture. Get a call from nurse patient says he can’t move legs following a lumbar puncture (spinal tap). I called the team that did the procedure and they assured me there was no indication of this sort of injury happening during the procedure but agreed with my plan to get an urgent MRI. I go to examine him and nurse says she thinks he moved one of his feet. Next thing I know he says he can actually move his legs again but they are feeling weird. Then this weird feeling turns into intense pain and he asks for intravenous narcotics (dilaudid). I tell him no because this story makes no sense.

By god it was a miracle I tell you when this man walked himself right out of the hospital after I refused the iv narcotics.

Also, the MRI was normal.

Final score:

256points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago

Drug addicts come up with all sorts of plots to get their stuff administered

110points

Soulja_Boy_Yellen , Jonathan Borba Report

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients “I haven’t had sex in five years”

-woman who was actively in labor in the ED.

Final score:

245points

POST

coppertopped panda 1 year ago

Merry Christmas.

217points

#10

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Honestly the "dumbest" lies are the one people who lie about how much alcohol or other drugs they use. Alcohol and benzodiazepine withdrawal can kill you, and if you use opioids from the street than you likely have a higher tolerance and may need more medications in the hospital so be honest, I truly don't care how much you drink/ use, I just don't want you to get worse for something we can plan for and prevent.

Shazamshazam2 , Isabella Mendes Report

Final score:

239points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

And it's not like they can tell anyone about it.

62points

#11

When I was a Peds nurse, I had a super trashy lady come in with a 2 year old. She said the baby wasn’t eating or drinking anything. We admit the baby and legitimately start getting concerned because the food trays aren’t touched, no wet diapers, not drinking her juice, etc. Weigh is staying the same though.

The pediatrician asked me to sit outside the room and watch through a cracked window shade (that looked into the room). So I watch and this mother is shoving pizza and soda down this baby’s throat, the baby obviously has no interest for the mashed potato’s/chicken on her tray because she’s stuffed on junk food. The mom would change the diaper and hide it instead of leaving it to be weighed.

It was so bizarre and she completely denied doing it even though I saw her. Poor baby.

Immajustbrowse19 Report

Final score:

236points

POST

Emily Ward 1 year ago

Munchausin by proxy

241points

#12

Nurse here. The absolute dumbest thing patients have said...and to be fair this was the patients parents since I was in Pedi but still dumb AF and caused no end of grief trying to unspin it.

I was rooming patients and I went to the full lobby and called the next one in by last name. They stand up and mom and dad bring the little girl back. I'm rooming them, take the vitals, review purpose of visit, make some adjustments to the chart, update their pharmacy and allergies and go out and let the pediatrician know they are ready.

The pediatrician goes into the room and come out like 3 minutes later and says...that's not my patient, where is my patient? I'm like wtf? I go in and ask the parents and no in fact they were not the patient. I'm like why did you say you were someone you were not? They simply said they didn't want to wait so they just came back.

We had to completely unspin all the changes to the chart and had to get legal involved to make sure there were no HIPAA violations, which fortunately, there weren't. I'm fascinated that people can collectively think...yeah, let's do this, no one will know. Like, how does that even play out in their minds?

NedTaggart Report

Final score:

233points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago

The stupidity of the human mind knows no boundaries...

115points

#13

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Dad is a physician and has a million funny stories. He told me this one from a few decades ago:

Had a patient come into the ER with a towel over his groin, covered in blood. Claimed he was cutting vegetables in his kitchen and the knife slipped. Dad takes a look and the guy is butchered down there. Had to call a urologist in the middle of the night to consult.

Guy eventually confesses to trying to give himself a circumcision because he didn't want to pay the $200 it would have cost. Urologist was able to help save... 'him', but it cost a helluva lot more than $200 for emergency penis surgery.

southernmayd , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

232points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

Holy Moly! Can't believe he'd try this himself!

82points

#14

I have one right now.

60 year old male hospitalized for an infection following a spinal fusion. He had surgery to remove the infected hardware, and has a cervical collar (neck brace) to stabilize his spine and a treatment plan that says to keep it on 24/7 for 4 weeks. It’s been 16 days and he removed it Sunday night. When confronted he told me that he had cleared it with his surgeon and told them he had removed it. He had not. I explained that he has an extremely unstable spine and the wrong move could result in irreversible quadriplegia, to which he responded, “I don’t think that’s going to happen. Even if there’s an explosion I’ll hold real still.”

On the phone with his sister, shouting into the speaker, he said, “well I took it off because it was so uncomfortable, at first my neck was real stiff but I shook my head a few times and something in there broke loose. It feels much better now.” While his nurse and I stared at each other in silent horror.

desperatevintage Report

Final score:

228points

POST

Rebelliousslug 1 year ago

I am currently in need of neck surgery. I have had 3 and the thought of the period of wearing a neck brace 24/7 for several weeks after surgery honestly gives me panic attacks because it is absolutely miserable. Eventually I’ll have to face that, but I will hold out as long as I can. (Also the brutal pain afterwards is another deterrent)

70points

#15

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I'm just a med student but a doctor shared this with us, she's a gynecologist and this women came to her complaining about how she hasn't gotten her periods in few months and well she was showing menopausal symptoms and in fact she looked almost 50 but she kept saying she's only 30 and she can't have menopause. It has a funny ending, when the doctor asked if the women had a kid and she said yes he's 27 y/o. Idk why people lie about their age but this was a funny story for the whole class

doctorbanns , Sergey Makashin Report

Final score:

227points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

Good 🙄 grief!

72points

mrsuicideduck , Dominika Roseclay Report

#16

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Dude came in asking for a second vasectomy. It’s been 10 years since his first vasectomy with numerous sperm counts all being zero throughout the years. He now has a new baby. His sperm count is still zero and wants the vasectomy “fixed”. Didn’t know if he was lying to himself or not.

Final score:

226points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

Hallelujah, it's a miracle!

90points

BagelAmpersandLox , Maksim Goncharenok Report

#17

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients “Do you smoke cigarettes?”

“No, I quit!”

“When did you quit?”

“This morning”

Final score:

210points

POST

General Anaesthesia 1 year ago

Quitting is easy, I do it 20 times a day.

141points

YourStolenCharizard , Cats Coming Report

#18

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Part of my job is dealing with medical records- my favorite part is when you are reading the doctors notes and you can tell they are fed up with the patients b******t from their tone.

“Patient in for routine colonoscopy, asked if solids consumed in 24 hrs prior, patient confirms no. In process of procedure, several dozen kernels of corn are discovered in colon and cannot continue. Patient specifically instructed not to consume corn beforehand as this happened prior visit.”

Final score:

210points

POST

Vix Spiderthrust 1 year ago (edited)

Before patients could access their own notes, medical personnel had common abbreviations for patients' b*llshit. The most common was MOB - Moaning Old Bastard

16points

#19

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Their age. Had a woman say shes 30 when she clearly didn’t look it. Oh well I move on to other questions. Look at her files and lab reports have her real age on them. 41. Like y tho? What difference does it make lying to healthcare staff? This is health related, not ur tinder profile. Nobody gon see this n go I aint dating an old lady. Btw she was married with children.

BariumBromide2 , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

206points

POST

Phillip Moderow 1 year ago

Doc writes: "Nobody gon see this n go I aint dating an old lady." ... pairs well with "What's Wrong with Today's Society".

138points

#20

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Occupational physical.

Have you ever had surgery?
No
Reveal chest. Ziper scar from a CABG.
Oh, yeah forgot about that.
(Forgot about a heart bypass)

WH1PL4SH180 , Vidal Balielo Jr. Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago

They were under general anesthesia when it happened, so that's understandable /s

81points

Muted-Application-27 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#21

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients 1. Patient says to me; I was outside gardening while naked and I slipped. That’s how a massive potato ended up in my a*s.
Anybody want fries while he is waiting to get it removed?

2. How did you get that stab wound in your abdomen? I put a knife on the kitchen counter and forgot it was there. Then I walked into it.

3. Me - Have you had anything to eat or drink today prior to your surgery?
Patient- No (…with a half eaten candy bar in front of them).
Me - Are you sure? Because if you have, you could vomit upon going to sleep and it could enter your lungs, causing you to die.
Patient - then yes I have, I had half that candy bar.

4. This one guy repeatedly used to come in saying he hadn’t s**t in 7 days. This would usually necessitate a rectal examination with a finger. Thats why he kept saying it. Patient used to come in every time the new doctors rotated in, who wouldn’t be wise to his tricks.

5. One guy came in feigning unconsciousness. Did not respond to even the most painful of stimuli (some of these were pretty painful). Did not budge. We were talking amongst ourselves about intubating him. He then opened his eyes and said “they did that last time, I didn’t like it”.

Final score:

191points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago

That guy with the rectal exam, urgh. They shouod use this metal device (like tongs? Don't know the English word) for such examinations on him from then on. But he probably likes that, too...

70points

#22

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I spilled all my adderall down the sink…again…twice in one week…of finals week at uni…

Oojin , Charles Williams Report

Final score:

180points

POST

EarthGrowl 1 year ago

Nah, say it was stolen. Much more believable.

87points

#23

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients My little brother was a nurse for about a decade. He has said many times that people stick anything up their butts. From lightbulbs to hairbrushs to a golf shoe. And at first it's hilarious. Then after a year or so it's not funny because you've seen way too many distended buttholes.

Then after a decade or so it starts to get funny again because you think you've seen everything and then one day a 45 year old man is driven to the hospital by his wife and he has a golf shoe up his a*s and he told his wife that he and the boys were golfing and he slipped in the locker room and it got rammed up there completely disregarding the fact that the part of the shoe that is inside him is covered in Vaseline...

Jasole37 , Kawê Rodrigues Report

Final score:

178points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

He slipped in the locker room and accidentally knocked down some vaseline, which spilled and smeared itself all over the shoe in the split-secomnd before he fell onto it, causing it wedge itself in... that's what really happened, honest! :D

106points

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#24

1) A patient arrived with a bandage on his head saying he had fallen from his bed and injured it. After 1h in the waiting room, after removing the bandage, I could see part of his brain. Dude was in debt with drug dealers and was dragged through a highway tied to a car.

2) A middle aged man who lied about not taking viagra during a heart attack. This is a big problem because the medication we use may interact with the blue pill and worsen the condition. A high price to pay in order to defend some dumb idea of masculinity.

victorwillian Report

Final score:

177points

POST

A girl 1 year ago

Commenting here because..so many "lie to medico" posts. My brother was a stoner and an alcoholic. He was also a hypochondriac. My advice was "Tell The Doctor Everything You Take". It matters so much. Even his colonoscopy protocol was altered to allow for his lifestyle. Anesthesia can kill you in general. Times 100 if you're not honest about your self medication.

84points

#25

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Paramedic but this is a good one. We got called for “a man running down the street covered in blood.” While waiting to see if the cops found him, an off duty cop stopped by us and said he was looking for a guy who was breaking into an RV storage lot, and said he pumped 2 rounds of bird shot after him as he ran away. Nobody was found, so we headed back to station.

5 hours later we were called to a man who said he was in a car accident and had 80 pieces of bird shot in his back and legs.

bradorsomething , Wikidudeman Report

Final score:

164points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

I'm sure he just slipped and fell onto it ;)

106points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#26

Anything, to be honest. I honestly don't care what you do or don't do. Usually if I'm asking it's because it matters for your health care and if you lie about it all you're doing is putting yourself in danger.

As a more real example, I've had a post transition transgender patient lie about the sex they were born with. I understand it's hard to deal with a lot of the medical community that can be judgemental, but this patient ended up having prostate cancer. Only found out after we scanned them.

Another one lied about having prior back surgery before I was about to send them for an MRI. Did a physical exam and saw the scar. Asked again and they just said they didn't feel it was important and didn't want me to assume it was related to previous surgery. They were there for back and abdominal pain.

ArgentWren Report

Final score:

150points

POST

Lord Mysticlaw 1 year ago

Unfortunately a lot of transgender people (and their families) don't know this. But when youre talking to a doctor or hospital, ESPECIALLY in an emergency, it's very very important for them to know which sex you were born as. They don't care how you identify, they care about what organs and hormones you have so that they can know what to look for and give you the correct diagnosis. Of course it would help a lot if people stopped using sex and gender as synonyms... but just a PSA for all the trans pandas 🏳️‍⚧️

200points

#27

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Patient: “I haven’t drank alcohol in months!”

Patients family: “It’s true I’ve been with her the whole time.”

Me: “Ma’am your alcohol level is 325.”

Patient: “Impossible! I would never lie to you!”

jorgeojungle , Elina Sazonova Report

Final score:

144points

POST

Jill Hojnacki 1 year ago

Quite possible to test drunk without having consumed alcohol if you have auto-brewery syndrome. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513346/#:~:text=Auto%2Dbrewery%20syndrome%20or%20gut,oral%20cavity%2C%20or%20urinary%20system.

60points

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#28

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Adherence to medical treatment when I have literally pulled their pharmacy records and know they haven't picked up their medications in over a year...

DDmikeyDD , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

144points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

This I don't understand. You have a choice about taking medicine or not. If you don't want to take it (or don't take it), at least be adult enough to admit it. No skin off my nose if you choose to die sooner as opposed to later.

63points

#29

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Guy came in for a wound on his lower leg that he said came from a biking accident. X-ray revealed a bullet inside his ankle joint. The wound was from shooting himself by accident while holding a gun. Still don’t know how he didn’t fracture anything.

Cybariss , Caleb Oquendo Report

Final score:

139points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

Why lie about something like that? You know they're going to find the bullet as soon as they x-ray it!

63points

#30

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients A common one is about their smoking. Smoking is an enormous risk factor for fracture nonunion, meaning a fracture that doesn’t heal. When I walk into a nonunion patient’s exam room and it smells like a cigar den, I know they smoke. But they’ll tell me they don’t right to my face. Before signing them up for revision surgery I’ll commonly order a urine test for nicotine metabolites. Often it’ll turn out positive and suddenly surprised pikachu face.
.

Anthrotekkk , Denx arman Report

Final score:

137points

POST

Snorkeldorf 1 year ago (edited)

Problem is, medical insurance for smokers is a whole lot higher than for non smokers. When people have to pay for their own insurance, the monetary incentive to lie for medical records is enormous.

68points

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#31

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients Med student atm but when I was shadowing a surgeon in college he told me about the time he had to remove a power rangers megazord from a dude’s r****m cause he was “cleaning” his sons toys with his clothes off. Apparently everything was so dirty he decided to strip and just “”slipped”” onto it

Popular_Roof9602 , Del N Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Corvus 1 year ago

It's so cute how these people think anyone would believe their "nude cleaning/gardening/cooking/carpenting" stories :D

33points

#32

One my favorite things I wrote my first year out of medical school:

“Please note patient has stated multiple times that he wants to leave and would leave AMA(against medical advice). He asked multiple times whether he could eat and stating he is hungry. Explained to patient that we would like to start a full liquid diet first and if he tolerated it well, would transition to regular foods. However, pt ordered chinese food delivery instead. Then, patient was complaining of a headache. Was given Tylenol for the headache. Patient stated that this did not help him. His sister at bedside went to the nearby pharmacy and bought Goody powder (aspirin). Sister did ask whether she could give him Goody powder. She was told not to give patient the Goody powder. She supposedly did not.”

For context, the patient had a catastrophic GI bleed from taking too much aspirin.

grantcapps Report

Final score:

38points

POST

EarthGrowl 1 year ago

Goody powders are freaking addictive. Once they destroy the stomach lining and 'heart burn' starts the only way to stop the pain is to take another Goody Powder! I had monthly migraines in my 20's. I tried every rx medication, they got so bad I would have to go to doc to get a shot of Demerol in my hip. Someone recommended Goody's. They freaking worked. I honestly think it might be a placebo effect, but I don't care they worked for my migraines.

4points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#33

Former ER nurse: not a “lie” but a very very vague explanation. I’m taking a brief history on a patient with shortness of breath, I ask about any cardiac conditions. She says “I have a thing in my heart”. Despite all kinds of follow-up questions I couldn’t get any answers out of her about WHAT was in her heart. Did you have a surgery or procedure to put something in it? Is the “thing” something you were born with, like a hole in your heart? Are you on any medications for it? Was it a clot, does that sound familiar? I listen to her heart, no murmurs or clicking of a mechanical valve. I take a look at her chest, no surgical scar or pacemaker battery. I never did find out WHAT WAS IN HER HEART because my shift ended.

It was a fun conversation with the ER physician, “soooo…she has ‘something’ in her heart and I have no clue what. Have fun figuring this one out”

BabaTheBlackSheep Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Fluffybedsocks 1 year ago

I'm so invested. I need to know. What is it?

20points

#34

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients My dad neglected to mention he had no teeth... since 1976. We found out in the ICU. In 2022.

mommagolly , Marcus Aurelius Report

Final score:

33points

POST

KittyGotClaws 1 year ago

The dentures must've look real. Some denture centers do a really good job with making the dentures look like your real teeth.

14points

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#35

Retired Paramedic here. The dumbest thing I saw patients lie about and think we'd fall for?

Hmm, that's tough. It'd be either the unconscious fakers or the drug seekers. The way to quickly check if a patient is conscious or not is I touched my gloved finger to their eye. If you blink, I got ya! That's when I'd get down in the floor and say, I know you're faking. Here's what we're gonna do, I'm gonna help you up and you're going to get up, act your age and stop freaking your family out.

The seekers were always, I'm allergic to most pain killers, but I'm not allergic to the, how ya say it, laudid stuff?

Straight to triage you go!!

SniffinLippy Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Brenda 1 year ago

Narcotics seekers are why it's so difficult for others to get pain meds when they really need them. On the other side, I once went to the ER after my back seized up. Had to be carried in. 5 different nurses, after asking what I was there for, proceeded to tell me that they (the hospital) wouldn't give me pain meds. After repeating that I didn't need or want pain meds, I demanded to talk to the doctor and not a nurse. When he came in he asked what the problem was. I proceeded to tell him that happened with the nurses. Said I need a muscle relaxer as I have plenty of pain meds, but they never let me explain. Showed him my Rx for Norco 10. So "seekers"make it difficult for the rest of us.

47points

Physical_Witness_922 , Cup of Couple Report

#36

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I had a lady tell me she had no idea how she got a rash she had on her face. I left the room, gave report to the MD and when I walked back in with the doctor she looked at me and said “I didn’t think you’d be coming back in the room” and then proceeded to confess that she’d been cheating on her husband and thought she had herpes. She did not have herpes.

Final score:

30points

POST

CPooh 1 year ago

This makes no sense to me. Maybe more details would help. Like who is telling the story and why she’d lie to that person but not the doc.

13points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#37

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients I work in ophthalmology. I see patients nearly every week that are faking vision loss. Most often, it's to try to get disability. Sometimes it's just attention seeking or extreme stress/anxiety. In rare cases, patients truly believe they cannot see or have convinced themselves they cannot see, when all exam findings and testing are normal. It's called "non-organic vision loss."

Fotographyraptor , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Linden 1 year ago (edited)

There's also functional neurological disorder which can create vision issues. It's not really about conscious belief or convincing themselves and definitely not wanting it, it's a real neurological condition that is deeply subconcious so the person can't just decide to see better, it takes some rehabilitation to get the brain's model of function re-established. That works well for some patients but not for others. I had it, not fun, but fully recovered thankfully.

9points

#38

High speed MVA, unrestrained passenger in the front seat with both feet on the dash. Fractured her pelvis pretty badly. Consult from orthopedics to identify an odd structure in the region of the soft tissue of the vagina before they try to fix the pelvis. Pt adamantly denies anything is in there. Finally consents to an exam when she’s starting to decompensate from a slowly expanding hematoma. Performed under anesthesia in OR. Roll of cash in a baggie the size of a Campbell’s soup can.

CBow63 Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Jan Rosier 1 year ago (edited)

well, she was wearing no underwear to air out her parts using the vents on the dashboard, and then she fell on it during the accident !

17points

#39

Not a surgeon/Dr but my ex husband tried telling a doctor he broke all his knuckles and some of the bones in his hand by closing it in a car door.

He very obviously had boxing fractures. The nurse snorted and laughed when he told his elaborate story about the car door.

Eyfordsucks Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago

I hope it wasn't from abusing his wife...

16points

Jayhawker_Pilot , MART PRODUCTION Report

#40

30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They've Heard From Patients My son is now a radiologist. When he was an intern, had a guy come into get an MRI. They ask the normal questions about metal and told him to remove all metal and put it in a locker. The dude rolls in and lays down. Machine goes on and removes the knife from his boot. F****d him up slicing up his body.

Final score:

25points

POST

pinkytoes 1 year ago

this doesnt make sense. He wouldnt be wearing boots in the MRI

41points

wrongbutt_longbutt Report

#41

I used to work in physical therapy. An extremely sedentary patient in her mid-50s who had a body type out of a Tim Burton film. Think like an apple on two toothpicks. She told me that when she was in the military in her 20s she was the strongest person on her post. She said she could bench press 500 lbs. She said she was 135 lbs when she could do this. After I told her the bench press record for that weight class for women was 300, which is incredibly impressive, I offered that maybe she forgot and was thinking 225-250, which would still be incredible. No, she doubled down. She proceeded to tell me that she could leg press 900 lbs and overhead press two men sitting on a 2x4. For the record, this lady didn't even know how to perform a body weight squat in a pool with correct form.

Final score:

23points

POST

Seamus Crumley 1 year ago

Do be so critical. I don't know how to do a body weight squat in a pool either. I don't even know what that is. Just let the poor stickwoman believe she has a super-power. No harm, no foul.

12points

#42

My wife is an SLP that does the evals at her hospital. She said it’s really common to have people come in faking a stroke, and to pretend they can’t speak.

brantmacga Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Wendy Wilson 1 year ago

I actually HAD a stroke. The ER doctors insisted it was a panic attack, even after both hubby and PCP said they knew about my panic attacks and this wasn't one. I could speak just fine but my left side was paralyzed. Finally did an MRI the next day. Found a hole in my brain where the clot had been. They were feeding me drugs commonly used after a stroke and prescribed them for me when I left THREE DAYS later. My discharge papers give my diagnosis as an anxiety attack.

23points

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

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What do you think ?

POST

Lord Mysticlaw 1 year ago

Just don't lie to your medical professionals, OK? It's for your own good.

25points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

I can't pick a dumbest from anyone, but possibly anyone coming in with bloody froth in their cough in 2020 and saying it wasn't Covid?

16points

Aisling Raye 1 year ago

Exactly why you ask when they last took a Covid test and not if they've had a positive Covid test. They figured out pretty quick that saying you haven't had a positive test is technically not a lie if you've never taken one. TBH I didn't think any Covid deniers were smart enough to put that together, so I guess good on the ones that tried it for having more than two brain cells. ¯\(°_o)/¯

2points

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

I guess those guys who keep asking the doctor/nurse over and over again what is wrong with them, as they cannot breathe, because they refuse to believe it when they are told that they are currently dying of Covid, is a really sad example of what the combination of stupidity, misinformation misunderstanding and conspiritoral thinking can do a human... and the worst part is that somebody knows how strong this mechanism can be and exploit it for personal gain. It could for example be a poletician who has spotted that critising the vaccines gets him a crowd of followers, while he secretely has had them himself.

11points

talliloo 1 year ago

people need to live by one rule: never lie to your priest/rabbi, attorney, or doctor. to do so only hurts yourself.

8points

Louise Clarke 1 year ago

My mom's friend worked is a doctor and worked there in the 80's and the amount of guys coming in with pain from wearing pants that were too tight and a lot of them had socks in their crotch area. The funniest one was a guy with a banana in his pants like 🍌

8points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

The probably just wanted someone, ANYONE to look at it

4points

Austin Sauce 1 year ago

Was the banana in the front or back of his pants?

2points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Banana for scale?

1point

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

I once heard a story (I know, hearsay, but this is not an important forum anyway) about a doctor panicking when a patient said "yes" to being allergic to latex when going in for an operation. Latex is commonly used in operationg rooms for stuff like gloves, tubes, etc. and dealing with patients allergic to that stuff requires a lot of extra proceedures and another operation room especially dedicated to that to be used, as it can potentially be life threatening. When chatting with the patient afterwards she said "I really hate the feeling of latex gloves"

6points

Austin Sauce 1 year ago

I had a patient in the middle of the covid epidemic that needed to go down for a CT. “I’m here to take you for your CT.” “Great, let’s go!” “Alright, I’ll just have you put on this mask for the trip.” “Oh no, no mask.” “You have to, everyone does.” “I ain’t wearing no mask, I ain’t a sheep, I’ll die on this hill.” “Why do feel you deserve special treatment?” “This isn’t special treatment.” “Literally everybody in this hospital has to wear a mask except you? By definition that’s special treatment.” “Like I said, I’ll die on this hill.” “Ok, well I’ll let your doctor know you’re refusing treatment and delaying your own care, bye.” 30 minutes later I’m called back to the room. “Ready to put that mask on” *grumble grumble* He kept pulling it down past his mouth just to be a jerk. Oh well, Darwin has probably already caught up with him.

5points

Mary Rogers 1 year ago

When covid hit, I was really amazed and disappointed to see how many of my fellow citizens were just totally selfish a******s.

3points

bluegal 1 year ago

Please, people, don't lie to your doctors. They're there to help you.

3points

Lauren W. 1 year ago

Had a patient who smeared his feces all over the walls of his room and then looked me dead in the eye and said he honestly had no idea where it came from and that it was probably already there and that I just hadn't noticed before. Note: He did have a psychiatric illness, but he was still very much aware of what he did. Had a slender, 65+ yr old woman complaining of chest pain try to deny over and over that she'd ever had a boob job. She obviously had these old silicone implants that had become rock hard and the skin of her breasts, nipples included, were just loosely sagging off of this matched pair of softball size lumps. This was discovered to be the source of her pain, yet she continued to deny that she had implants and was convinced her breasts looked totally normal.

3points

Josey Griffin 1 year ago

I find it very difficult to believe how stupid people are and continue to be so stupid. How they continuosly put things up inside their bodies, for sexual gratification. These people breed and duplicate more stupid people.

2points

John Beck 1 year ago

Whenever I have a new Doctor I tell a joke to see if we will be able to communicate: When they ask if I smoke I reply: No, but I am thinking of starting "Why would you want to start smoking?" "I hear I can add ten years to my life when I quit!" (pause, then chuckle so they know I'm joking and not simply a moron). If they laugh, too, I know we can have a working relationship - if they give me an "Old Fashioned Look" I know I have to shop around for another Doctor.

2points

Mary Peace 1 year ago

John, I think you should be grateful you have the chance to 'shop around'. Some people are very grateful to get to see a Dr. Any doctor.

2points

Pizza Lover 1 year ago

I actually saw this post on reddit, but for some reason it's funnier when I read it on BP

1point

ggus44 1 year ago

Ok, the stories about the people with stuff up their bütts are always funny! Don't lie to the doctors, they know how the stuff got in there!

1point

Cerridwn d'Wyse 1 year ago

In sometimes it's for even stupid or reasons then you think

0points

The Starsong Princess 1 year ago

Hospitals and doctor visits are stressful and people aren’t at their best when stressed. Also, doctors aren’t always as clear as they think they are when they ask questions.

0points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Wow damn

0points

Marnie 1 year ago

Why do they wait until the patient lies? Why not hand them a laminated card that explains in plain terms why they shouldn't lie? I remember when people in the right position felt it their duty to find effective ways to educate the public.

-2points

David Paterson 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

So, lie away, but don't yell about doctors if it has consequences. I admit freely your doc was out of line, but from a medical perspective, so are you for thinking it's irrelevant. Do you know how many things can be ruled out if we know about allergies or medication use? ....

5points

Ronnie Cutshall 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

POST

Lord Mysticlaw 1 year ago

Just don't lie to your medical professionals, OK? It's for your own good.

25points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

I can't pick a dumbest from anyone, but possibly anyone coming in with bloody froth in their cough in 2020 and saying it wasn't Covid?

16points

Aisling Raye 1 year ago

2points

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

11points

talliloo 1 year ago

people need to live by one rule: never lie to your priest/rabbi, attorney, or doctor. to do so only hurts yourself.

8points

Louise Clarke 1 year ago

8points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

The probably just wanted someone, ANYONE to look at it

4points

Austin Sauce 1 year ago

Was the banana in the front or back of his pants?

2points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Banana for scale?

1point

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

6points

Austin Sauce 1 year ago

5points

Mary Rogers 1 year ago

When covid hit, I was really amazed and disappointed to see how many of my fellow citizens were just totally selfish a******s.

3points

bluegal 1 year ago

Please, people, don't lie to your doctors. They're there to help you.

3points

Lauren W. 1 year ago

3points

Josey Griffin 1 year ago

2points

John Beck 1 year ago

2points

Mary Peace 1 year ago

John, I think you should be grateful you have the chance to 'shop around'. Some people are very grateful to get to see a Dr. Any doctor.

2points

Pizza Lover 1 year ago

I actually saw this post on reddit, but for some reason it's funnier when I read it on BP

1point

ggus44 1 year ago

Ok, the stories about the people with stuff up their bütts are always funny! Don't lie to the doctors, they know how the stuff got in there!

1point

Cerridwn d'Wyse 1 year ago

In sometimes it's for even stupid or reasons then you think

0points

The Starsong Princess 1 year ago

Hospitals and doctor visits are stressful and people aren’t at their best when stressed. Also, doctors aren’t always as clear as they think they are when they ask questions.

0points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Wow damn

0points

Marnie 1 year ago

-2points

David Paterson 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

5points