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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They’ve Heard Come Out Of Someone’s Mouth

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We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…

One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!

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#1

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.

JustForKicks36 , Сергей Орловский Report

Final score:

282points

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#2

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

280points

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#3

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

Final score:

267points

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#4

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

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#5

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

Final score:

232points

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#6

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

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#7

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

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#8

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*

"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

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#9

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

Final score:

210points

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#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

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#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

Final score:

201points

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#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

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#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

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#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

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#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

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#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

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#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

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#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

Final score:

173points

JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

They have alternative facts

93points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

Kellyanne Conway coined that phrase, I believe, when Trump claimed he had the MOST people EVER at his inauguration. Despite photos/video PROVING that claim false. *sigh*

23points

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Juan Something(downvotevictim) 1 year ago

Alternative Facts sounds like the name of a grunge band that only makes songs about historical characters and events.

11points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 1 year ago

Irregardless.... (Pun Intended)

4points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 1 year ago

They do. And they are PROUD to exclaim it so. And they vote Republican.

1point

Andrew Keir 1 year ago

Trouble is, calling them 'alternative' facts , or 'your' facts, strongly suggests that both sides are of equal validity. Bad mistake.

0points

John Harrison 1 year ago

Kellyanne?

7points

𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 1 year ago (edited)

The trend of people believing that facts are something subjective is starting to really p**s me off.

3points

VonBlade 1 year ago

Although if your facts are about the number of people who've been on Love Island, and mine are about the 1979 French Grand Prix, we're allowed to have different facts.

3points

Westy 1 year ago

That's American politics in a nutshell (on both sides of the aisle). Certain facts are cherry-picked to promote a narrative/agenda while other relevant facts are conveniently ignored. Happens all the time.

2points

Psycho Princess 1 year ago

Ah yes of course, their facts are North American and yours are Canadian. (How do people like this exist)

2points

Philly Bobcat 1 year ago

Said the tRumper spouting fake news...

2points

Elouise Kivineva 1 year ago

Yes, since 2016 this is a very familiar idea.

2points

Gregg Bender 1 year ago

No, I have verifiable facts. You have lies.

1point

Andrew Keir 1 year ago

I must be right because I'm shouting you down

0points

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Lotekguy 1 year ago

"You can also have all the distance from me that time and space will allow".

1point

Id row 1 year ago

Facts, schmacts. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

1point

John Murphy 1 year ago

this is sadly the USA right now

1point

Der Kommissar 1 year ago

note to self; do not get your facts from Facebook

1point

Scrogginj 1 year ago

I’m totally stealing this

1point

Cassia Beagle 1 year ago

Narcissist’s way of life.

0points

Penny Burt 1 year ago

She looks like one who would say that.

0points

KittyGaming 1 year ago

O p i n i o n s

0points

Ben 1 year ago

Deep

0points

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

It's true. In this day and age facts are clearly subjective.

0points

Westy 1 year ago

Right. It's astonishing how often opinions are presented as established facts, particularly in politics and media.

0points

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Milan 1 year ago

It is not true, but could be 😂

0points

Agfox 1 year ago (edited)

Well, one of them fact up!

0points

HungryPanda 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Michael Largey 1 year ago

Wtel, with certain elements of the media in certain countries.

3points

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#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

Final score:

170points

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#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

Final score:

164points

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#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

Final score:

164points

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#22

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "This steak tastes just like beef"

DigiDee , Justus Menke Report

Final score:

159points

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#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

Final score:

158points

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#24

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.

AaronD1986 , Matt Nelson Report

Final score:

150points

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#25

I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.

dwightsrus Report

Final score:

141points

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#26

“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!”
Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??

whatsnewadisposable Report

Final score:

140points

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#27

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”

bigshotz76 Report

Final score:

138points

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#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

Final score:

133points

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#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

Final score:

123points

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#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

Final score:

123points

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#31

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Am I going to be accountable for everything I say?!"

-Overheard my old boss berating the rest of the staff in a shop I used to work at

savedbytheblood72 , Dylan Gillis Report

Final score:

51points

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#32

Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA) who thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.

drawnnquarter Report

Final score:

50points

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#33

“Anyone else not able to sleep at night? Yeah, I don’t think I’m turnal” took me a few to realize she thought the term was “not turnal”

eWhiskey Report

Final score:

44points

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#34

Somewhat recently a girl told me me there is a conspiracy between big milk and big electric in the united states. That you don't actually have to refrigerate milk but they tell us we have to so they can make more money on electric bills.

I tried to explain what pasteurization was, but goddamn its disturbing that she was just like “yehp this makes the most sense”

Final score:

42points

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#35

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Hmmm.... Got a couple from my days working in tourism in Hawaii. One of my favorites was "what's the difference between your mushroom and Swiss burger and your bacon guacamole burger? ". Next one, for context for those that don't know Maui, you can see two different islands from multiple vantage points on the island. Anyway, we had stopped at a lookout for some tourists to take a picture and a guy being completely serious asked, "So which one is Japan?". I was like, Japan is about 3k miles to the northwest. If you can see it, you have superpowers, sir.

boardjock , Eiliv Aceron Report

Final score:

37points

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#36

I was talking to a patient and I asked them which arm was injured.

They said “my left your right”

I was talking to them on the phone.

phantasybm Report

Final score:

37points

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#37

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…

Real_Pea5921 , Jiawei Zhao Report

Final score:

35points

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#38

Birds aren’t animals.

oatsteoperosis Report

Final score:

33points

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#39

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I once heard someone say they believe the old lady from the Titanic movie is an actual titanic survivor. When I told them she's an actress, they tried to call me bluff

GaryLooiCW Report

Final score:

30points

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#40

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That 16 year olds should be allowed to drink and drive.

They spent at least 10 minutes trying to legitimately defend this point to a room of adults.

The individual making the point was in her late 20s

Refurbished_beast , Michael Discenza Report

Final score:

30points

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#41

"nobody knows who the second man on the moon was"

That was a sales manager giving one of those motivational speeches to his entire team.

FlashDangerpants Report

Final score:

16points

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Adelaide Ross

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Mantas Kačerauskas

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

What do you think ?

Will Cable 1 year ago

The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!

11points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.

3points

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Darryl Martin 1 year ago

It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.

9points

Otis B Driftwood 1 year ago

The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.

3points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

The scariest thing is that THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

1point

Jungle Empress 85 1 year ago

Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.

0points

Ronnie Beaton 1 year ago

A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".

0points

Pauline Perry 1 year ago

I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳

0points

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

This is a joke, right? Stupidity knows no bounds.

0points

sassawrasse 1 year ago

This is why I'm going back into teaching. The world needs me!

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.

0points

The Redhead 1 year ago

I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄

0points

Amelia Jade 1 year ago

Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.

2points

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Trisec 1 year ago

On some days, the dumbest thing anyone can say to me is "Good Morning". I'm awake. I'm at work. Day already has two strikes on it.

0points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Oh my lord. Are people actually getting dumber?

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.

0points

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Jaclyn Steinmacher 1 year ago

Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"

-1point

gerard julien 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lemme get the lemons 1 year ago

If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just type this emoji😂? This is an actual question I'm not trying to be rude

4points

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Will Cable 1 year ago

The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!

11points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.

3points

Load More Replies...

Darryl Martin 1 year ago

It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.

9points

Otis B Driftwood 1 year ago

The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.

3points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

The scariest thing is that THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

1point

Jungle Empress 85 1 year ago

Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.

0points

Ronnie Beaton 1 year ago

A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".

0points

Pauline Perry 1 year ago

I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳

0points

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

This is a joke, right? Stupidity knows no bounds.

0points

sassawrasse 1 year ago

This is why I'm going back into teaching. The world needs me!

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.

0points

The Redhead 1 year ago

I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄

0points

Amelia Jade 1 year ago

Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.

2points

Load More Replies...

Trisec 1 year ago

On some days, the dumbest thing anyone can say to me is "Good Morning". I'm awake. I'm at work. Day already has two strikes on it.

0points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Oh my lord. Are people actually getting dumber?

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.

0points

Load More Replies...

Jaclyn Steinmacher 1 year ago

Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"

-1point

gerard julien 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lemme get the lemons 1 year ago

If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just type this emoji😂? This is an actual question I'm not trying to be rude

4points

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