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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They’ve Heard Come Out Of Someone’s Mouth

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We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…

One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!

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#1

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.

JustForKicks36 , Сергей Орловский Report

Final score:

282points

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#2

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

280points

Mycroft1967 1 year ago

Is it snake oil? Cause I hear that cures everything.

85points

Lakota Wolf (she/her) 1 year ago

Is this my mom in the post? She loves her chiropractor and thinks she can cure everything. I get stress/hormonal migraines and my mom keeps insisting her chiropractor will "cure" them. My mom will also insist that her "ribs" will "get out of alignment" and that chiropractor can "pop them back into place". I try telling her that are ribs are FIXED IN PLACE in our ribcage and if a rib is "out of alignment", that means it's BROKEN, and she'd an ER visit, not a chiropractor appointment.

22points

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Marco Richter 1 year ago

It especially cures beeing rich

13points

Doctor Strange 1 year ago

Hey, don't mock snake oil. No one wants an unoiled snake.

7points

Amy S 1 year ago

It cures everything?! Wow, where do I get some?

5points

Dani M 1 year ago

will that be magic oil secreted by a snake or snake preserved in oil and thus magic? asking the real questions

4points

Peppy 1 year ago

Everything except snakes

1point

marcelo D. 1 year ago

just for people to know cause I hate the expression. Snake oil wasn't a scum, it is an actual medicine. The expression comes from people trying to sale fake substances as snake oil. and nowthe phrase is stuck being extremely inaccurate

0points

Zelda McLink 1 year ago

A chiropractic said he could cure my T1 diabetes with 'adjustments'. What, you gonna adjust my pancreas?

13points

Caroline Kimber 1 year ago (edited)

I was told by an old colleague that lemon water will fix my arthritis and my bipolar.....I'll stick to seeing my doctor, thank you.

11points

Ian Webling 1 year ago

If someone managed to "cure" my autism I would be furious.

7points

Heidi Gerloff 1 year ago

If they believe both (1) that autism can be easily cured (and needs curing) and (2) that autism is caused by vaccines (autism is NOT caused by vaccines), why are they so hesitant to vaccinate? Give a shot and go to the chiropractor after. Maybe that should be a new campaign to convince antivaxxers to rethink their stance!

2points

Diemond Star 1 year ago

I had a chiropractor tell me he could cure my epilepsy at my first and last appointment.

2points

Erin Geiger 1 year ago

Anyone that goes to a chiropractor is an idiot

2points

Megan Romero-Herman 1 year ago

Chiropractors can help for physical things.. that doesn’t make them an idiot

-2points

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Cj Churchall-McKenzie 1 year ago

as autism is genetic this should be interesting to watch

1point

Deborah B 1 year ago

Does this mean you can vaccinate your kid now?/s

1point

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 1 year ago (edited)

I wish chiropractors could cure stupid, and if they could, I’d wish all idiots would have back problems

1point

YTK 1 year ago

Well, you can’t be diagnosed with autism if you die at 2, SO……………

0points

DetongLhamo 1 year ago

I went to a chiropractor once. He molested me. Turns out he assaulted lots of other women as well and fled the state but ended up being caught and imprisoned.

0points

Megan Romero-Herman 1 year ago

Or the metal detox ones who claim it cures it

0points

𝕊𝕙𝕪 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 (𝕤𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕖𝕣) 󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 1 year ago

🤦‍♀️

0points

jacqueline 1 year ago

Your chiropractor is using his hands for something else

0points

Malfar 1 year ago

There wouldn't be autism if not for vaccines! /s obviously

0points

Megan Romero-Herman 1 year ago

Absolutely has nothing to do with vaccines!

0points

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Mell 1 year ago

I think it's the essential oils that do the trick. Hahahahaha

0points

Bored Retsuko 1 year ago

(>_<)

0points

Person 1 year ago

can I meet your chiropractor please and thank you

-1point

Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago

Maybe your chiropractor hit your head instead of your spine a few times

-1point

MJ 1 year ago

Is your chiropractor a real chiropractor or

-1point

Lakota Wolf (she/her) 1 year ago

A "real" chiropractor? They're all snake-oil merchants. It's not "real" medicine. Chiropractors aren't real doctors. Chiropracty is essentially homeopathy/essential oils.

5points

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#3

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

Final score:

267points

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#4

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

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#5

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

Final score:

232points

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#6

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

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#7

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

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#8

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*

"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

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#9

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

Final score:

210points

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#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

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#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

Final score:

201points

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#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

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#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

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#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

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#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

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#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

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#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

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#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

Final score:

173points

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#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

Final score:

170points

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#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

Final score:

164points

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#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

Final score:

164points

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#22

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "This steak tastes just like beef"

DigiDee , Justus Menke Report

Final score:

159points

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#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

Final score:

158points

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#24

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.

AaronD1986 , Matt Nelson Report

Final score:

150points

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#25

I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.

dwightsrus Report

Final score:

141points

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#26

“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!”
Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??

whatsnewadisposable Report

Final score:

140points

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#27

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”

bigshotz76 Report

Final score:

138points

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#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

Final score:

133points

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#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

Final score:

123points

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#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

Final score:

123points

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#31

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Am I going to be accountable for everything I say?!"

-Overheard my old boss berating the rest of the staff in a shop I used to work at

savedbytheblood72 , Dylan Gillis Report

Final score:

51points

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#32

Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA) who thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.

drawnnquarter Report

Final score:

50points

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#33

“Anyone else not able to sleep at night? Yeah, I don’t think I’m turnal” took me a few to realize she thought the term was “not turnal”

eWhiskey Report

Final score:

44points

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#34

Somewhat recently a girl told me me there is a conspiracy between big milk and big electric in the united states. That you don't actually have to refrigerate milk but they tell us we have to so they can make more money on electric bills.

I tried to explain what pasteurization was, but goddamn its disturbing that she was just like “yehp this makes the most sense”

Final score:

42points

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#35

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Hmmm.... Got a couple from my days working in tourism in Hawaii. One of my favorites was "what's the difference between your mushroom and Swiss burger and your bacon guacamole burger? ". Next one, for context for those that don't know Maui, you can see two different islands from multiple vantage points on the island. Anyway, we had stopped at a lookout for some tourists to take a picture and a guy being completely serious asked, "So which one is Japan?". I was like, Japan is about 3k miles to the northwest. If you can see it, you have superpowers, sir.

boardjock , Eiliv Aceron Report

Final score:

37points

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#36

I was talking to a patient and I asked them which arm was injured.

They said “my left your right”

I was talking to them on the phone.

phantasybm Report

Final score:

37points

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#37

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…

Real_Pea5921 , Jiawei Zhao Report

Final score:

35points

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#38

Birds aren’t animals.

oatsteoperosis Report

Final score:

33points

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#39

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I once heard someone say they believe the old lady from the Titanic movie is an actual titanic survivor. When I told them she's an actress, they tried to call me bluff

GaryLooiCW Report

Final score:

30points

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#40

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That 16 year olds should be allowed to drink and drive.

They spent at least 10 minutes trying to legitimately defend this point to a room of adults.

The individual making the point was in her late 20s

Refurbished_beast , Michael Discenza Report

Final score:

30points

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#41

"nobody knows who the second man on the moon was"

That was a sales manager giving one of those motivational speeches to his entire team.

FlashDangerpants Report

Final score:

16points

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Adelaide Ross

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Mantas Kačerauskas

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

What do you think ?

Will Cable 1 year ago

The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!

11points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.

3points

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Darryl Martin 1 year ago

It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.

9points

Otis B Driftwood 1 year ago

The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.

3points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

The scariest thing is that THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

1point

Jungle Empress 85 1 year ago

Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.

0points

Ronnie Beaton 1 year ago

A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".

0points

Pauline Perry 1 year ago

I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳

0points

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

This is a joke, right? Stupidity knows no bounds.

0points

sassawrasse 1 year ago

This is why I'm going back into teaching. The world needs me!

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.

0points

The Redhead 1 year ago

I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄

0points

Amelia Jade 1 year ago

Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.

2points

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Trisec 1 year ago

On some days, the dumbest thing anyone can say to me is "Good Morning". I'm awake. I'm at work. Day already has two strikes on it.

0points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Oh my lord. Are people actually getting dumber?

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.

0points

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Jaclyn Steinmacher 1 year ago

Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"

-1point

gerard julien 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lemme get the lemons 1 year ago

If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just type this emoji😂? This is an actual question I'm not trying to be rude

4points

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Will Cable 1 year ago

The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!

11points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.

3points

Load More Replies...

Darryl Martin 1 year ago

It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.

9points

Otis B Driftwood 1 year ago

The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.

3points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

The scariest thing is that THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

1point

Jungle Empress 85 1 year ago

Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.

0points

Ronnie Beaton 1 year ago

A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".

0points

Pauline Perry 1 year ago

I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳

0points

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

This is a joke, right? Stupidity knows no bounds.

0points

sassawrasse 1 year ago

This is why I'm going back into teaching. The world needs me!

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.

0points

The Redhead 1 year ago

I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄

0points

Amelia Jade 1 year ago

Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.

2points

Load More Replies...

Trisec 1 year ago

On some days, the dumbest thing anyone can say to me is "Good Morning". I'm awake. I'm at work. Day already has two strikes on it.

0points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Oh my lord. Are people actually getting dumber?

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.

0points

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Jaclyn Steinmacher 1 year ago

Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"

-1point

gerard julien 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lemme get the lemons 1 year ago

If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just type this emoji😂? This is an actual question I'm not trying to be rude

4points

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