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We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…

One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!

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#1

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.

JustForKicks36 , Сергей Орловский Report

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ThatG
ThatG
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“How to get around a religion prohibited food item 101”

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#2

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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#3

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

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MJ
MJ
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah the good ol’ Mac n cheese diet. Wonder how it’s working for him.

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#4

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

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Robert T
Robert T
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....

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#5

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

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#6

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

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Noname
Noname
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)

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#7

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

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#8

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*


"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

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#9

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

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#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

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Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t
Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.

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#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

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User# 6
User# 6
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That does work, if you're male.

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Tania Minhas
Tania Minhas
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair ... he/she did not say on top of what. As long as you are not on top of a d***k everything safe.

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Skip62
Skip62
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't forget to jump up and down afterwards. I've heard that works too so you can be doubly safe.

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Seabeast
Seabeast
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was young there were kids at school who thought that pregnancy could be prevented by having sex standing up. There were a lot of shotgun weddings in my neighbourhood.

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Seth
Seth
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, fertility coaches recommend against cowgirl if a couple is struggling to conceive, but there's obviously a massive difference between "slightly less likely to get pregnant" and "can't get pregnant"

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Stefan
Stefan
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well now, you see, that depends n which entrance you are using.

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BigCityLady
BigCityLady
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just like the pull-out method works from becoming pregnant! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

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Jon Steensen
Jon Steensen
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...and this is why sex-ed is so important and should be taught. Despite it being a touchy subject, it is far better than teenage pregnancies caused by a combination of stupidity and lack of knowledge.

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#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

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Moomin from Denmark
Moomin from Denmark
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale

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#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

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#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

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#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

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#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

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#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

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Tim Fawcett
Tim Fawcett
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you never heard the expression "promoted out of harm's way"

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#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

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#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

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#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

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Harley
Harley
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe females are actually inviting him out on dates but since he works at outback it’s all just a giant missed steak

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#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

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#22

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "This steak tastes just like beef"

DigiDee , Justus Menke Report

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#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

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#24

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.

AaronD1986 , Matt Nelson Report

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#25

I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.

dwightsrus Report

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Snorkeldorf
Snorkeldorf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many people don't realize that if a raise puts you in a higher tax bracket you will only pay the higher rate on the money earned that pushes you into the higher tax bracket. You owe in your original tax bracket on what you're paid before you hit the higher tax bracket. Taxes get so flipping complicated. If this person didn't understand that it would have been advantageous for them to talk to someone who did.

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#26

“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!”
Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??

whatsnewadisposable Report

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StrangeOne
StrangeOne
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always make that joke, and thinking about time is a brain f**k. Once you realize that we're all living on this big rock and that everyone's position in relation to the sun is just that, the where you are. And Earth isn't a time machine. I actually confused myself thinking about it.

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#27

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”

bigshotz76 Report

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T.
T.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ice Age, Civil War, Man on the moon, Ice Age (Pixar)

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#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

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#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

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#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

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#31

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Am I going to be accountable for everything I say?!"

-Overheard my old boss berating the rest of the staff in a shop I used to work at

savedbytheblood72 , Dylan Gillis Report

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Ge Po
Ge Po
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, unless you are delirious (but only because of infection, poisoning or brain damage as voluntary substance abuse does not count), hypnotized (preferably not of your own volition) or seriously misquoted.

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#32

Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA) who thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.

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#33

“Anyone else not able to sleep at night? Yeah, I don’t think I’m turnal” took me a few to realize she thought the term was “not turnal”

eWhiskey Report

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Bored Retsuko
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like going to the toilet at dawn because I'm cräp-uscular.

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#34

Somewhat recently a girl told me me there is a conspiracy between big milk and big electric in the united states. That you don't actually have to refrigerate milk but they tell us we have to so they can make more money on electric bills.

I tried to explain what pasteurization was, but goddamn its disturbing that she was just like “yehp this makes the most sense”

xiirri Report

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Noname
Noname
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uht milk doesn't need to be refrigerated until opened, and has a shelf life of about 8 months.

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#35

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Hmmm.... Got a couple from my days working in tourism in Hawaii. One of my favorites was "what's the difference between your mushroom and Swiss burger and your bacon guacamole burger? ". Next one, for context for those that don't know Maui, you can see two different islands from multiple vantage points on the island. Anyway, we had stopped at a lookout for some tourists to take a picture and a guy being completely serious asked, "So which one is Japan?". I was like, Japan is about 3k miles to the northwest. If you can see it, you have superpowers, sir.

boardjock , Eiliv Aceron Report

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Em
Em
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of my all-time favorite customer question: "Does the vanilla iced coffee have coffee in it?"

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#36

I was talking to a patient and I asked them which arm was injured.

They said “my left your right”

I was talking to them on the phone.

phantasybm Report

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Vasana Phong
Vasana Phong
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One time a new patient had to fill out a packet of his demographics/medical history ect. in the section for what form of protection he uses, he wrote down, ugly

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#37

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…

Real_Pea5921 , Jiawei Zhao Report

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Maikku
Maikku
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I might understand this as in are there other differences than that. Like is the iced product the same stuff as the hot stuff, but just with ice (and obviously not hot). (I don't go to coffee shops and don't get the idea of adding ice to coffee, I think it would be gross) :D

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#38

Birds aren’t animals.

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#39

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I once heard someone say they believe the old lady from the Titanic movie is an actual titanic survivor. When I told them she's an actress, they tried to call me bluff

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Monday
Monday
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've met a couple of people who thought Jack and Rose were real people too.

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#40

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That 16 year olds should be allowed to drink and drive.

They spent at least 10 minutes trying to legitimately defend this point to a room of adults.

The individual making the point was in her late 20s

Refurbished_beast , Michael Discenza Report

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#41

"nobody knows who the second man on the moon was"

That was a sales manager giving one of those motivational speeches to his entire team.

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clist414
clist414
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean... I think he was trying to make a point, not be literal like "no one knows! It's a mystery!"

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