30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They’ve Heard Come Out Of Someone’s Mouth

We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…

One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.

JustForKicks36 , Сергей Орловский Report

Final score:

282points

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ThatG 1 year ago

“How to get around a religion prohibited food item 101”

109points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

280points

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Mycroft1967 1 year ago

Is it snake oil? Cause I hear that cures everything.

85points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

Final score:

267points

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MJ 1 year ago

Ah the good ol’ Mac n cheese diet. Wonder how it’s working for him.

69points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

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Robert T 1 year ago

Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....

19points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

Final score:

232points

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Tiramisu 1 year ago

The dumb hurts…

100points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

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Noname 1 year ago

Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)

194points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

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Lord Voldedork 1 year ago (edited)

"Jimmy, it's time to have the talk"

167points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*

"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Welcome to adulthood, kiddo

147points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

Final score:

210points

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Bored Retsuko 1 year ago

Ah yes, the famous boomerang river.

92points

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#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

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Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 1 year ago

Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.

176points

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#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

Final score:

201points

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User# 6 1 year ago

That does work, if you're male.

206points

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#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

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Moomin from Denmark 1 year ago

To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale

280points

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#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

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JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

They seem to be allergic to intelligence as well.

139points

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#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

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Anne Jones 1 year ago

N for knowledge.

140points

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#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Said the soon-to-be-parents....

72points

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#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

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Em 1 year ago

That's not stupid, that's hateful.

199points

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#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

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Tim Fawcett 1 year ago

Have you never heard the expression "promoted out of harm's way"

102points

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#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

Final score:

173points

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JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

They have alternative facts

93points

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#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

Final score:

170points

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Jihana 1 year ago

I wanna hear what happened next

208points

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#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

Final score:

164points

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Harley 1 year ago (edited)

Maybe females are actually inviting him out on dates but since he works at outback it’s all just a giant missed steak

20points

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#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

Final score:

164points

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cugel. 1 year ago

TA 3019

78points

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#22

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "This steak tastes just like beef"

DigiDee , Justus Menke Report

Final score:

159points

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Caroline Kimber 1 year ago

I'm happy about that lol!

51points

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#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

Final score:

158points

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Lydsylou 1 year ago

I am quite happy with that theory

70points

HungryPanda 1 year ago

Like eating a steak with a bunch of veggies. Consider yourself vegan.

12points

MaggieMay85 1 year ago

It’s like you ate nothing

1point

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Mabelbabel 1 year ago

That's the same kind of logic that food eaten off someone else's plate has no calories.

8points

TotallyNOTaFox 1 year ago

I mean, that would be an interesting research. The sugar replacements in diet coke trick the body into releasing more insulin because it thinks it's real sugar. (That why diet coke is bad for losing weight, you only get more hungry)

4points

Bill Swallow 1 year ago

I'll bet they think that if they eat pasta and antipasto they didn't take in any calories...

3points

Seth 1 year ago

So they think we've invented anti-sugar, but it's only used in diet soda?

3points

MJ 1 year ago

Coca Cola, get on this asap

2points

tee-lena 1 year ago

Coke Zero. 0 calories, 0 sugar. 100%delightful

0points

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𝖊𝖜𝖔𝛋 1 year ago

If you cut a mars bar in half the calories fall out

1point

Ivy at Eve 11 months ago

You can also let it go flat and rhe sugar will fizzle out smh

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 1 year ago

works for me

0points

Seadog 1 year ago

And what's going to negate all the other unhealthy things in the diet soda?

0points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 1 year ago

Wouldn't you have to drink a soda and a "zero" soda? A regular plus a half is still sugared.

0points

Stannous Flouride 1 year ago

A calorie is the amount of energy it takes to raise the temperature of 1 cc of distilled water 1ºC at sea level. Heating things up uses lots of calories so obviously hot apple pie is a diet meal. /s (yeah, I know about kilocalories. It's a joke)

0points

Adam Chang 1 year ago

It's from "My 600lb life"

0points

Vera Rios 1 year ago

If you swim in cold water then switch to warm water then back to cold water you catch a cold.

0points

TiredTitus 1 year ago

Same with vodka and orange juice

0points

Duckie Measles 1 year ago

This was said on a reality show called 1000 lb sisters.

0points

Philly Bobcat 1 year ago

As a hypoglycemic... I do so wish it were true!

0points

Downunderdude 1 year ago

Is this not true?

0points

Apple Jakes 1 year ago

Must've been a quote from a Coke pr rep in front of a Senate committee

0points

I just work here 1 year ago

That's just science...ahaha

0points

Miki 1 year ago

Sugar and antisugar. Yes yes I am aware of this theory. It releas great amount of energy when mixed. ;))

0points

Erick L. 1 year ago

You'll be ripe for diabetes in no time.

0points

Michael Largey 1 year ago

Coca Cola is spreading this theory in hopes of doubling sales.

0points

Mell 1 year ago

That's what I am doing wrong all this time...!!!

0points

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#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

Final score:

133points

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PlatinumThe8-BitCat 1 year ago

…diet..water?

68points

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#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

Final score:

123points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Sure, pass me a blue sharpie....

14points

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#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

Final score:

123points

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Lavender Myst 1 year ago

I know this move.... spaceballs right? Lol.

33points

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Note: this post originally had 41 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

What do you think ?

Will Cable 1 year ago

The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!

11points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.

Darryl Martin 1 year ago

It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.

9points

Otis B Driftwood 1 year ago

The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

The scariest thing is that THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

Jungle Empress 85 1 year ago

Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.

Ronnie Beaton 1 year ago

A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".

Pauline Perry 1 year ago

I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

This is a joke, right? Stupidity knows no bounds.

sassawrasse 1 year ago

This is why I'm going back into teaching. The world needs me!

Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.

The Redhead 1 year ago

I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄

Amelia Jade 1 year ago

Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.

Trisec 1 year ago

On some days, the dumbest thing anyone can say to me is "Good Morning". I'm awake. I'm at work. Day already has two strikes on it.

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Oh my lord. Are people actually getting dumber?

I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.

Jaclyn Steinmacher 1 year ago

Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"

-1point