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Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Final score:

280points

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Mycroft1967 1 year ago

Is it snake oil? Cause I hear that cures everything.

85points

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

Final score:

267points

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MJ 1 year ago

Ah the good ol’ Mac n cheese diet. Wonder how it’s working for him.

69points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

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Robert T 1 year ago

Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....

19points

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Final score:

232points

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Tiramisu 1 year ago

The dumb hurts…

100points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

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Noname 1 year ago

Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)

194points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

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Lord Voldedork 1 year ago (edited)

"Jimmy, it's time to have the talk"

167points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*

"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Welcome to adulthood, kiddo

147points

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

Final score:

210points

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Bored Retsuko 1 year ago

Ah yes, the famous boomerang river.

92points

#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

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Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 1 year ago

Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.

176points

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Final score:

201points

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User# 6 1 year ago

That does work, if you're male.

206points

#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

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Moomin from Denmark 1 year ago

To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale

280points

#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

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JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

They seem to be allergic to intelligence as well.

139points

#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

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Anne Jones 1 year ago

N for knowledge.

140points

#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Said the soon-to-be-parents....

72points

#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

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Em 1 year ago

That's not stupid, that's hateful.

199points

#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

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Tim Fawcett 1 year ago

Have you never heard the expression "promoted out of harm's way"

102points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

Final score:

173points

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JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

They have alternative facts

93points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

Kellyanne Conway coined that phrase, I believe, when Trump claimed he had the MOST people EVER at his inauguration. Despite photos/video PROVING that claim false. *sigh*

23points

Juan Something(downvotevictim) 1 year ago

Alternative Facts sounds like the name of a grunge band that only makes songs about historical characters and events.

11points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 1 year ago

Irregardless.... (Pun Intended)

4points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 1 year ago

They do. And they are PROUD to exclaim it so. And they vote Republican.

1point

Andrew Keir 1 year ago

Trouble is, calling them 'alternative' facts , or 'your' facts, strongly suggests that both sides are of equal validity. Bad mistake.

0points

John Harrison 1 year ago

Kellyanne?

7points

𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 1 year ago (edited)

The trend of people believing that facts are something subjective is starting to really p**s me off.

3points

VonBlade 1 year ago

Although if your facts are about the number of people who've been on Love Island, and mine are about the 1979 French Grand Prix, we're allowed to have different facts.

3points

Westy 1 year ago

That's American politics in a nutshell (on both sides of the aisle). Certain facts are cherry-picked to promote a narrative/agenda while other relevant facts are conveniently ignored. Happens all the time.

2points

Psycho Princess 1 year ago

Ah yes of course, their facts are North American and yours are Canadian. (How do people like this exist)

2points

Philly Bobcat 1 year ago

Said the tRumper spouting fake news...

2points

Elouise Kivineva 1 year ago

Yes, since 2016 this is a very familiar idea.

2points

Gregg Bender 1 year ago

No, I have verifiable facts. You have lies.

1point

Andrew Keir 1 year ago

I must be right because I'm shouting you down

0points

Lotekguy 1 year ago

"You can also have all the distance from me that time and space will allow".

1point

Id row 1 year ago

Facts, schmacts. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

1point

John Murphy 1 year ago

this is sadly the USA right now

1point

Der Kommissar 1 year ago

note to self; do not get your facts from Facebook

1point

Scrogginj 1 year ago

I’m totally stealing this

1point

Cassia Beagle 1 year ago

Narcissist’s way of life.

0points

Penny Burt 1 year ago

She looks like one who would say that.

0points

KittyGaming 1 year ago

O p i n i o n s

0points

Ben 1 year ago

Deep

0points

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

It's true. In this day and age facts are clearly subjective.

0points

Westy 1 year ago

Right. It's astonishing how often opinions are presented as established facts, particularly in politics and media.

0points

Milan 1 year ago

It is not true, but could be 😂

0points

Agfox 1 year ago (edited)

Well, one of them fact up!

0points

HungryPanda 1 year ago

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Michael Largey 1 year ago

Wtel, with certain elements of the media in certain countries.

3points

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

Final score:

170points

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Jihana 1 year ago

I wanna hear what happened next

208points

#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

Final score:

164points

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Harley 1 year ago (edited)

Maybe females are actually inviting him out on dates but since he works at outback it’s all just a giant missed steak

20points