30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They’ve Heard Come Out Of Someone’s Mouth

We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…

One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.

JustForKicks36 , Сергей Орловский Report

Final score:

282points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

280points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

Final score:

267points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

Final score:

232points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*

"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

Final score:

210points

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#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

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#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

Final score:

201points

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#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

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#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

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#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

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Anne Jones 1 year ago

N for knowledge.

140points

WindySwede 1 year ago

T for Pterodactylus

33points

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Angrypineapple 1 year ago

S for tsunami

21points

PowellSkier 1 year ago

or knight...

7points

Steve 1 year ago

That's why the Nebraska football team has the N on their helmets.

5points

Jon Steensen 3 months ago

Hey that is not the usual N-word (that is a joke)

0points

PrettyJoyBird 1 year ago

C for Smart

0points

Mycroft1967 1 year ago

Was working retail in electronics department. Lady asked if we had a remote for the V1210. I said we universal remotes that work on nearly everything but didn't know about that model. I tried looking it up. Nope no V1210 models. I asked her what her brand of TV was? She said "I don't know but it says V1210 on the front." Then it dawned on me. Do you mean VIZIO?

9points

Me myself and I 1 year ago

Q for cucumber

7points

Kazza 1 year ago

Beat me to it!

2points

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Spencer's slave 1 year ago (edited)

Z in English is pronounced as "zed" not "zee". Only the USA says "zee".

7points

HungryPanda 1 year ago

Isn't H different as well? "haitch" vs "aitch" (US)

3points

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Duckie Measles 1 year ago

Oh man, that throws off the rhyming scheme of the alphabet song.

0points

AR 1 year ago

And we speak a dialect of English. 🤷🏼‍♀️

0points

Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 1 year ago

E for ignorant.

6points

Carlos Bergade 1 year ago

My ID number has an X in it. I always say X as in porn movie

3points

RamiRudolph 1 year ago

Not X as in "Christmas"?

5points

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Lotekguy 1 year ago

I like using p as in pneumonia.

2points

Snazzy Smurf 1 year ago

F for Phonics.

1point

geezeronthehill 1 year ago

English isn't a real language, we just made it up as we went along.

1point

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

S as in psycho

1point

ShaZam Beaubien 1 year ago

N for knife.

1point

ShyWahine 1 year ago

"B" as in victory, "L" as in elephant , "Q" as in cucumber.....

1point

James016 1 year ago

T for pterodactyl

1point

Natty Tempest 1 year ago

S for psychiatrist. Or stoopid

0points

Cristi nah 1 year ago

Zylophone

0points

Pepperoni Pizza 1 year ago

Her brain= a black hole

0points

Erica Cochrane 1 year ago

overheard a guy at the train station spelling phonetically and he said 'X as in ecstasty'

0points

Vera Rios 1 year ago

D for D'jango

0points

Ken Beattie 1 year ago

I must admit I deliberately say this to friends at times and laugh about it.

0points

AR 1 year ago

F as in phone

0points

Sue Young 1 year ago

But seriously… who decided to spell that word like that?

0points

jdtimid123 1 year ago

Eh, I get it. Especially if you feel rushed or on the spot and are just picturing the sound to find a word.

0points

Jude Corrigan 1 year ago

I had one say C for Catherine K for....Katherine. 🤦🏻‍♀️

0points

Id row 1 year ago

homer-lets...d5a00c.jpg

0points

Bob Brooce 1 year ago

Not a great speller, but you knew she didn't say C or T, right?

0points

Sabs 1 year ago

M as in Mancy…

0points

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#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

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#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

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#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

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#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

Final score:

173points

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#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

Final score:

170points

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#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”

He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

Final score:

164points

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#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

Final score:

164points

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#22

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "This steak tastes just like beef"

DigiDee , Justus Menke Report

Final score:

159points

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#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

Final score:

158points

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#24

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.

AaronD1986 , Matt Nelson Report

Final score:

150points

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#25

I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.

dwightsrus Report

Final score:

141points

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#26

“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!”
Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??

whatsnewadisposable Report

Final score:

140points

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#27

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”

bigshotz76 Report

Final score:

138points

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#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

Final score:

133points

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#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

Final score:

123points

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#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

Final score:

123points

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#31

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Am I going to be accountable for everything I say?!"

-Overheard my old boss berating the rest of the staff in a shop I used to work at

savedbytheblood72 , Dylan Gillis Report

Final score:

51points

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#32

Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA) who thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.

drawnnquarter Report

Final score:

50points

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#33

“Anyone else not able to sleep at night? Yeah, I don’t think I’m turnal” took me a few to realize she thought the term was “not turnal”

eWhiskey Report

Final score:

44points

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#34

Somewhat recently a girl told me me there is a conspiracy between big milk and big electric in the united states. That you don't actually have to refrigerate milk but they tell us we have to so they can make more money on electric bills.

I tried to explain what pasteurization was, but goddamn its disturbing that she was just like “yehp this makes the most sense”

xiirri Report

Final score:

42points

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#35

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Hmmm.... Got a couple from my days working in tourism in Hawaii. One of my favorites was "what's the difference between your mushroom and Swiss burger and your bacon guacamole burger? ". Next one, for context for those that don't know Maui, you can see two different islands from multiple vantage points on the island. Anyway, we had stopped at a lookout for some tourists to take a picture and a guy being completely serious asked, "So which one is Japan?". I was like, Japan is about 3k miles to the northwest. If you can see it, you have superpowers, sir.

boardjock , Eiliv Aceron Report

Final score:

37points

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#36

I was talking to a patient and I asked them which arm was injured.

They said “my left your right”

I was talking to them on the phone.

phantasybm Report

Final score:

37points

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#37

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…

Real_Pea5921 , Jiawei Zhao Report

Final score:

35points

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#38

Birds aren’t animals.

oatsteoperosis Report

Final score:

33points

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#39

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I once heard someone say they believe the old lady from the Titanic movie is an actual titanic survivor. When I told them she's an actress, they tried to call me bluff

GaryLooiCW Report

Final score:

30points

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#40

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That 16 year olds should be allowed to drink and drive.

They spent at least 10 minutes trying to legitimately defend this point to a room of adults.

The individual making the point was in her late 20s

Refurbished_beast , Michael Discenza Report

Final score:

30points

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#41

"nobody knows who the second man on the moon was"

That was a sales manager giving one of those motivational speeches to his entire team.

FlashDangerpants Report

Final score:

16points

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What do you think ?

Will Cable 1 year ago

The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!

11points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.

Darryl Martin 1 year ago

It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.

Otis B Driftwood 1 year ago

The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

The scariest thing is that THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

Jungle Empress 85 1 year ago

Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.

Ronnie Beaton 1 year ago

A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".

Pauline Perry 1 year ago

I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

This is a joke, right? Stupidity knows no bounds.

sassawrasse 1 year ago

This is why I'm going back into teaching. The world needs me!

Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.

The Redhead 1 year ago

I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄

Amelia Jade 1 year ago

Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.

Trisec 1 year ago

On some days, the dumbest thing anyone can say to me is "Good Morning". I'm awake. I'm at work. Day already has two strikes on it.

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Oh my lord. Are people actually getting dumber?

I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.

Jaclyn Steinmacher 1 year ago

Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"

-1point