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Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Final score:

280points

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Mycroft1967 1 year ago

Is it snake oil? Cause I hear that cures everything.

85points

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.

Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.

Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?

Him : Mac and Cheese.

Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?

Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

Final score:

267points

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MJ 1 year ago

Ah the good ol’ Mac n cheese diet. Wonder how it’s working for him.

69points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

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Robert T 1 year ago

Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....

19points

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Final score:

232points

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Tiramisu 1 year ago

The dumb hurts…

100points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,

"Do y'all take American Dollars?"

The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,

"You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

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Noname 1 year ago

Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)

194points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

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Lord Voldedork 1 year ago (edited)

"Jimmy, it's time to have the talk"

167points

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*

"How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Welcome to adulthood, kiddo

147points

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.

Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

Final score:

210points

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Bored Retsuko 1 year ago

Ah yes, the famous boomerang river.

92points

#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

POST

Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 1 year ago

Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.

176points

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Final score:

201points

POST

User# 6 1 year ago

That does work, if you're male.

206points

#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Moomin from Denmark 1 year ago

To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale

280points

#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen."

I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

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JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

They seem to be allergic to intelligence as well.

139points

#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

POST

Anne Jones 1 year ago

N for knowledge.

140points

WindySwede 1 year ago

T for Pterodactylus

33points

Angrypineapple 1 year ago

S for tsunami

21points

PowellSkier 1 year ago

or knight...

7points

Steve 1 year ago

That's why the Nebraska football team has the N on their helmets.

5points

Jon Steensen 2 months ago

Hey that is not the usual N-word (that is a joke)

0points

PrettyJoyBird 1 year ago

C for Smart

0points

Mycroft1967 1 year ago

Was working retail in electronics department. Lady asked if we had a remote for the V1210. I said we universal remotes that work on nearly everything but didn't know about that model. I tried looking it up. Nope no V1210 models. I asked her what her brand of TV was? She said "I don't know but it says V1210 on the front." Then it dawned on me. Do you mean VIZIO?

9points

Me myself and I 1 year ago

Q for cucumber

7points

Kazza 1 year ago

Beat me to it!

2points

Spencer's slave 1 year ago (edited)

Z in English is pronounced as "zed" not "zee". Only the USA says "zee".

7points

HungryPanda 1 year ago

Isn't H different as well? "haitch" vs "aitch" (US)

3points

Duckie Measles 1 year ago

Oh man, that throws off the rhyming scheme of the alphabet song.

0points

AR 1 year ago

And we speak a dialect of English. 🤷🏼‍♀️

0points

Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 1 year ago

E for ignorant.

6points

Carlos Bergade 1 year ago

My ID number has an X in it. I always say X as in porn movie

3points

RamiRudolph 1 year ago

Not X as in "Christmas"?

5points

Lotekguy 1 year ago

I like using p as in pneumonia.

2points

Snazzy Smurf 1 year ago

F for Phonics.

1point

geezeronthehill 1 year ago

English isn't a real language, we just made it up as we went along.

1point

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

S as in psycho

1point

ShaZam Beaubien 1 year ago

N for knife.

1point

ShyWahine 1 year ago

"B" as in victory, "L" as in elephant , "Q" as in cucumber.....

1point

James016 1 year ago

T for pterodactyl

1point

Natty Tempest 1 year ago

S for psychiatrist. Or stoopid

0points

Cristi nah 1 year ago

Zylophone

0points

Pepperoni Pizza 1 year ago

Her brain= a black hole

0points

Erica Cochrane 1 year ago

overheard a guy at the train station spelling phonetically and he said 'X as in ecstasty'

0points

Vera Rios 1 year ago

D for D'jango

0points

Ken Beattie 1 year ago

I must admit I deliberately say this to friends at times and laugh about it.

0points

AR 1 year ago

F as in phone

0points

Sue Young 1 year ago

But seriously… who decided to spell that word like that?

0points

jdtimid123 1 year ago

Eh, I get it. Especially if you feel rushed or on the spot and are just picturing the sound to find a word.

0points

Jude Corrigan 1 year ago

I had one say C for Catherine K for....Katherine. 🤦🏻‍♀️

0points

Id row 1 year ago

homer-lets...d5a00c.jpg

0points

Bob Brooce 1 year ago

Not a great speller, but you knew she didn't say C or T, right?

0points

Sabs 1 year ago

M as in Mancy…

0points

#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Said the soon-to-be-parents....

72points

#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"

She was dead serious.

I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

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Em 1 year ago

That's not stupid, that's hateful.

199points

#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.

Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.

There were more but I can't remember the rest.

And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

POST

Tim Fawcett 1 year ago

Have you never heard the expression "promoted out of harm's way"

102points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

Final score:

133points

POST

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 1 year ago

…diet..water?

68points

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

Final score:

123points

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ShyWahine 1 year ago

Sure, pass me a blue sharpie....

14points

#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

Final score:

123points

POST

Lavender Myst 1 year ago

I know this move.... spaceballs right? Lol.

33points