Personally i talk to my thermos but sometimes it does whatever it wants!

"yes" *whoosh*

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“THE LAWS OF PHYSICS HAVE NOTHING ON ME”

THIS MADE ME START LAUGHING IN MY BIOLOGY CLASS LMAOOOOAOOOO

L O N E L Y A N D S T U P I D (the bully not the person)

If I have kids, this is what I want to be signing up for.

I hate that I have done this around twice a year

Like a vegan going to a BBQ

seven-box-...e-jpeg.jpg

Friendly piece of advice: don’t call me at 3 am if you want to keep those legs of yours

74

Why not a camel at least? Why lion? 🤔

Could happen if born before and after midnight

Radiates the same energy as someone telling me we have the same name and then I say "cool! What's your name?"

i just hate it when i dont know what twin i share my birthday with, if only there was an easier way

I found out that someone shared my birthday, down to the day and year. I messaged her, saying "hey! We're twins! We have the same exact birthday!" Her response? "Oh cool! When's yours?" (Shortly followed by "what day?" and "how old are you?") English isn't her first language, so perhaps it is understandable, but it sure is frustrating.

Their profile pic matches the story :0

Yeah I met twins once with different days, just not common, but if around midnight not hard to do. I mean hell I think I was born at like 12:30 am or something real close like that...

He wanted to know the exact second

I knew twins born 6 days apart. Didnt ask mom why. Wish I did.

So which one was it??? 😜😜😜

Sprouse?

I apologize on my country's behalf.

To be fair I often mix the words for elevator and bus in my language.

Reminds me of that XKCD comic where completing Mavis Beacon unlocks capital numbers.

Lucky guess

"No, this is a copy of my latest screenplay. What do you think?"

A friend of mine could just pop one out and have a gander at it. Rather alarming when you find it out the first time.

What a dumb question. Everyone knows they don’t have birthdays in Korea. They just sort of slowly appear and it’s hard to tell the beginning date

Many people say that to be polite. Still annoying, though

I had a coworker whose religion banned tattoos. Every two weeks she went to someone and had a new henna design drawn on because she loved body art. They were often multicolored because she loved flowers. Depending where the question was asked, it may have been a legitimate query.

You’re imagining it, now go back to sleep

"No, I just drink A LOT of beer."

There was a strange phase in the early 2000s where girls who could see fine would buy non-prescription glasses from Claire's to look smart.

pAiNtInG oN oNe SiDe Is So TaCkY

Not fast enough, obviously.

I dunno. Coincidence, I guess