Personally i talk to my thermos but sometimes it does whatever it wants!

"yes" *whoosh*

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“THE LAWS OF PHYSICS HAVE NOTHING ON ME”

THIS MADE ME START LAUGHING IN MY BIOLOGY CLASS LMAOOOOAOOOO

L O N E L Y A N D S T U P I D (the bully not the person)

If I have kids, this is what I want to be signing up for.

I hate that I have done this around twice a year

Like a vegan going to a BBQ

seven-box-...e-jpeg.jpg

Friendly piece of advice: don’t call me at 3 am if you want to keep those legs of yours

The lack of a comma makes me concerned for Susan.

Why were you hunting Susan?

Plane mode is a great thing.

I hate it when someone calls me in the middle of the day and says "Oh, did I wake you?"

OMG! What did Susan do?!

Seeking, seeking Susan. Desperately.

Why did you even answer

I did that unintentionally to a friend once, and thought about hanging up but considered it was already ringing and that would be even worse. So when he answered, I said lamely, "I hope I didn't wake you up." He replied, "That's okay, I had to get up and answer the phone anyway."

Reply ‘No , I had to get up to answer the phone”

that's why you turn off your phone at night

Wow, what did Susan do that you're after her?

Calling me at 3am someone better be dead... well... or too drunk to drive.

when I ran the 911 computer for the fire department, dispatchers would call at 2am to ask a question. They'd ask if they woke me. "No, that's ok. I had to get up to answer the phone anyway"

I would actually be awake tbh because Idgaf about myself

Call from a different time zone is another option if the caller was not aware of author's location.

"No, I had to get up anyway." "Why?" "The phone was ringing."

"Nope, I was looking at the inside of my eyelids"

People go ghost hunting at 3am...where were you not doing that?

Every time my phone rings after 10PM I tense up and wait to hear screaming, crying or pleading (I AM MOM). If it's not one of those things, HOW DARE YOU??

Put your phone on "silent" and create a list of exceptions who can call in an emergency.

74

Why not a camel at least? Why lion? 🤔

Could happen if born before and after midnight

I apologize on my country's behalf.

To be fair I often mix the words for elevator and bus in my language.

Reminds me of that XKCD comic where completing Mavis Beacon unlocks capital numbers.

Lucky guess

"No, this is a copy of my latest screenplay. What do you think?"

A friend of mine could just pop one out and have a gander at it. Rather alarming when you find it out the first time.

What a dumb question. Everyone knows they don’t have birthdays in Korea. They just sort of slowly appear and it’s hard to tell the beginning date

Many people say that to be polite. Still annoying, though

I had a coworker whose religion banned tattoos. Every two weeks she went to someone and had a new henna design drawn on because she loved body art. They were often multicolored because she loved flowers. Depending where the question was asked, it may have been a legitimate query.

You’re imagining it, now go back to sleep