One day one of my students said “Ew, I have to work today.” To which I replied, “So do I.”

He looked at me and asked, honestly, “Oh really? Where do you work?”

“Here...I work here...right where I am standing. I don’t do this as a service to your parents.”

BrainPainn , saimad Report

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American: "Do you have airplanes in South America?"

Me: "No, I got here swinging on vines that hang from our trees"

throwawayventing2018 , Jason O'Halloran Report

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“Don’t you find it stupid that Obama is the only president without a last name?”

bjv2001 , dcblog Report

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Boss: "Could you print out that file, scan it, and email it to me?"

Me: "I could just email it to you."

Boss: ...

-SkaffenAmtiskaw- , Jamison Judd Report

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Going through the border -- from Canada into the U.S.:

Border Guard: "What's your citizenship?"

Me: [hands over passport, which notes my birthplace as Vancouver, British Columbia] "Canadian."

Border Guard: "No, what's your citizenship?"

Me: *louder* "I'm Canadian."

Border Guard: *yelling* "What's your citizenship?!"

Me: "I don't know what you're asking me!"

Border Guard: "Where were you born? Was it Colombia?"

Me: "British Columbia is a province in Canada."

Border Guard: *waves me through*

joceyposse , Tom Purves Report

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“Are you gay?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Hm I don’t know Jerry, just not feelin’ it today.

vBHSW , http://underclassrising.net/ Report

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My friend once asked, “What if they made a sea world but instead it’s centered around the land?”

I responded with “So basically, a zoo?”

Legitimate_Luke , [MGM] Report

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My wife at the time saw the headline “Buffalo buried in 5 feet of snow” (I don’t remember the exact measurement). She asked “Why don’t they just dig the poor guy out?” There was a picture of the city under the headline.

gjhobso , Maciej Report

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What nationality are you?

*canadian*

No, i mean, what nationality?

*ummm, do you mean heritage? Polish I guess*

No no, listen, na-tional-ity

*I don’t know what you’re asking?*

Whispers: Nationality, like, are you white, black, etc?

*just look at me, I’m white as snow, and that’s not nation...*

Cool I didn’t want to assume anything.

billbapapa , Dumphasizer Report

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Having a conversation about traveling.

Me: I’ve always wanted to road trip up to Alaska and see the northern lights

Her: (looking at me like I’m a moron*) oh yeah? How are you going to drive to Alaska??

Me: in my car...

Her: You can’t DRIVE there

And then I realized she thought Alaska was an island... I had to explain to her that although Alaska and Hawaii were always in little boxes next to the mainland of USA maps that doesn’t mean they’re both islands.

10 years later I married her...

Drewkin13 , Jay Cross Report

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My eyes are two different colors, and the question I'm most often asked about them is , "Did you know your eyes are two different colors?" I'm amused when someone asks me whether I see different colors out of each eye, or - even better - whether I "see in 3D."

MelilDeMolihua , Keith Kissel Report

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Isn’t it a shame unicorns went extinct?

This person was an adult and thought unicorns exists during medieval times.

laughing_cat , ebrkut Report

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(I used to work at a bakery) a customer once asked me:

"When the bread isn't warm anymore, that means it's not fresh anymore, so I can have it for free right?"

-_- "no"

Bcause789 , sylvar Report

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Not anything super mind-boggling, but I worked as a server at a infamous "Italian" restaurant during college. Here's my interaction with a guest one evening:

G: "I'd like to order the spaghetti with marinara sauce, but can I get fettuccine noodles instead?"
M: "Sure thing."
G: "Oh, and I'd like to please substitute the marinara with Alfredo sauce. And please add chicken."
M: ".... I would have to charge you for the chicken Alfredo, then." (Note there was a few dollars in price difference between the two dishes, Alfredo being more expensive).
G: "But I ordered the spaghetti with marinara."

I legitimately had to argue with this person for few moments as to why I couldn't magically substitute out the entire entree for a different one with no price difference. Guest ended up being super crabby for the remainder of the time and I'm fairly certain didn't tip at all.

architectmillenial , MattCC716 Report

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A coworker at the library was asked for aerial photos of the Colosseum in Rome.

Before it was in ruins.

enfanta , Philip Kahn Report

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"So Trump is our president, right? Does that mean he's in charge of our state or the whole world? Sorry but I've never understood this whole president thing..."

This was asked to me by a fellow high school senior... in civics class.

dogfobia , Matt Johnson Report

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A girl asked me if honey came from bears. I’ll never forget it.

GxRandy , Don Hankins Report

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my own sister asked me how we were related to my grandparents

noahtherichman , Jan Vlugt Report

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Not me, but overheard someone asking a restaurant server "Your coupon says it's valid 7 days a week, does this include weekends?"

ihatepeasoup , Joe Lanman Report

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My stepmom once asked if islands float around in the ocean.

My brother burst out laughing, and I just looked flatly at my dad and said, "You married this woman." We still give her grief about it.

MightyBobTheMighty , Michael Spiller Report

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If penguins need water to survive, doesn't that means they're fish?

synalgo_12 , Neil Turner Report

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What’s the biggest planet on earth?

ieatpotatoesforlunch , Kevin Gill Report

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I was weighing a patient, and she asked me if it measured in Celsius.

Jamochajon , PebblePicJay Report

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Had a customer ask if she could pay her bill over the phone. I asked what kind of credit card.... cash. She wanted to pay cash over the phone.

busykim , Jacqui Brown Report

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On a ski lift

"At what elevation do deer turn into elk?"

TheFatherIxion , Rob Lee Report

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How long did it take you to drive from Australia - *to America*? I've been asked this twice.

I wish I could say I had a witty response, but my brain froze as it tried to compute the stupidity of the question.

*ETA: No offense to Americans, just these two particular idiots. I've lived in the U.S. most of my life.*

ecodrew , Nathan Hughes Hamilton Report

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Is Cherry Vanilla Coke made with cherries and vanilla mixed together, or is it made with vanilla cherries?

*vanilla cherries???*

anon Report

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“Does Halloween ever fall on Friday the 13th?”

Took my buddy a few seconds combined with our WTF stares to realize what he had just asked

EDIT: My bad everyone. Didn’t even consider the fact that other countries don’t celebrate Halloween. ELI5 Halloween is a set holiday that always falls on October 31st

YoungMozartinaGoKart , Kevin Dooley Report

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My cousin bought a map from a nearby fancy store for tourists. After perusing it for no less than two hours, she asked me, "How does this north-south stuff work? The side I'm facing is north, right? And if I turn right, north also turns right, no?"

She was 20.

small_big , Anthony Report

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If you had a heart transplant, would your memories go away?

Doffy-Mingo , Josey Report

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I used to work at Disney World and a question I would get on the daily is "What time is the 3 o'clock parade?"

AlexVanderspek94 , Kevin Gaudin Report

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Was asked to a friend of mine who worked in a book shop.

"Excuse me. Do these stairs go up?"

Draculasmooncannon , kanonn Report

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Do you actually believe in dinosaurs?

Victor_Saltzpyre , David Kryzaniak Report

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“Do you see in panoramic view?”

I’m Chinese...

verigud Report

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Emerald Ocean

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Well that’s rude

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TomCat

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2 years ago

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No, that's racist

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Catherine Binder

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2 years ago

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Why not both?!

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Pixie

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2 years ago

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🤔 Can you be racist without being rude?

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Bonesko

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"Pardon me Muslim sir, I hate to be a bother, but I do believe you aren't supposed to be in the US. Simple mistake. Good luck with the terrorism!".... 🤔Hmm, nah I don't think you can. It's just rude with a smile.

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Aussie panda

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2 years ago

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I think you can be racist but not rude if it’s either not direct or if it’s honest ignorance it might pass. Such as ‘I thought Indians spoke Hindi, I didn’t know there were other languages there too’. Something like that maybe which is genuine curiosity?

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Kalevra

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I once asked the owner of our local chinese resturaunt what chop sticks were OG made of. Later on, I realized that was probably the most racist thing ive ever said to someones face. Like, just because he is asian i assumed he would know.

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Diamond Velvetleaf

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2 years ago

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I don't think the chopsticks question is out of line at all. Maybe if you asked a random Asian person, but as the owner of a Chinese restaurant they have a frame of reference.

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Wini Wimms

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Maybe not because his appearance, but because he owns a Chinese restaurant and it is traditional Chinese cutlery? I don't think it has to be a racist statement. After all, it's sort of the same as asking a baker how to fire up an old oven. Sounds pitty to me to be offended by that....

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raincloud the whalien

raincloud the whalien

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Hm...personally I wouldn't be offended (I actually don't know but I assume bamboo) if there was a reason to be asking, like if I was talking about traditional food or something. If someone just walked up to me and was like "hey asian what were chopsticks made of" I'd be a little offended but if it already has to do with food then why not. Also, no, I have never caught a fly with chopsticks, that's unsanitary, and no, it has not impacted my already-limited automobile skills.

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Wini Wimms

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2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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David Timmons

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2 years ago

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And quite racist I would say

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Lisa H

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2 years ago

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I'm white, do I see everything through a fish-eye lens?

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Monday

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I don't know, do you?

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Falcon on Dizzy

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2 years ago

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I wish

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Vic

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2 years ago

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Well do you? I'm Indian, am I supposed to see with a turban filter or something?

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censor

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No, just yellow apparently. https://matadornetwork.com/read/yellow-filter-american-movies/

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Stardust she/her

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That is exactly how Indians see, yellow is the only colour available the moment you step into our country /s

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Grover underwood

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2 years ago

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So many people are racist without knowing it.

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xL3af

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how can people be racist by accident?

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Mrs. Jan Glass

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Accidental, passive, and/or "benign" racism and sexism are when you may not INTEND to hurt someone with your assumption, but if your assumption is based on a stereotype, it's painful. So you may only hear/say it a few times, but, for example, as a woman, I've heard "When are you going to give your husband a baby? Don't you have kids? Why not?" four hundred and sixty-seven thousand times. Say you and I meet, and the first thing you ask me is "Do you have kids?" because I'm a woman and you assume all women have kids, and then when I say no, you go "Why not? Doesn't your husband want kids?" You may think that's a perfectly normal question, and you "don't mean anything bad by it." But it reinforces a harmful stereotype, and for us on the receiving end, it's exhausting at best, infuriating at worst. Others include "athletic" black/lesbian people, "smart" Asians, "creative" gay people.

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censor

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You've never met someone from another group to a certain point and all your life your relatives have told you racist stuff without you realising it's nonsense.

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Lisa H

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My guess is that they may have been either raised with these beliefs (which is sad), or they grew up in an area with very little cultural diversity and were therefore sheltered from it. Again, it's only a guess.

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Tyler

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its actually quite common, called "racial ignorance"

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Good Luckas

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That’s just plain racist

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UpQuarkDownQuark

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“Do just see pink, or is everything dark with your head all the way up your @ss?”

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Mud spider

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A kid in my chemistry class once was playing with a pen (he’s Asian btw) and the kid sitting next to him says “don’t poke your eyes out! I mean- it doesn’t really matter anyway, because you can’t see with those squinted eyes” the teacher then tells him that that’s racist and he cannot say that, the kid who had said it then replies “no it’s ok because I’m Japanese too” the teacher tells him “no you’re not”. HE WAS BORN AND RAISED IN JAPAN. HIS DNA IS 96 PERCENT JAPANESE, he even has the same slitted eyes. People are weird 😒

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raincloud the whalien

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"slitted eyes" I have pretty wide eyes but mooooooooooving on yeah it's bizarre there were some Asian kids in middle school who'd call me all kinds of slurs and people thought it was okay, even when the other people started doing it (like think of a blonde white boy with blue eyes calling me a- a thing).

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Brian Abbott

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Should of said, "Yes, and your stupidity spans 360 degrees."

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Ellie McGrath

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Racist and Rude

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Zack Podany

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I'm just assuming here, but I'm really hating being American on this page.

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Ambry Petersen

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1 year ago

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I wish we could all see in.panoramic view.

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Stormy

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This is when you move very close, stare at them like a psychopath would and whisper “yesssss”

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tater_tot

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thats literally rude

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ThatBoredDolphin

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Confused

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Lisa Jarvis

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Insane

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Waco Bayless

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Doesn't everyone?

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LaToya Mack

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I know this is not supposed to be funny but what in the world??? What?!

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april jenkins

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oooooh...

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Anna Gabrielle Borbolla-Menare

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kinda racist ngl

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Brandi Delph

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I don't get this. I mean, I'm guessing it has something to do with race and eyes, but . . . ???

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Tom Hanlin

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Ok, so you see in sinoramic view. Wot's it like, mate?

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Egg

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Holy f**k imagine someone with f*****g vertical eyes

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Ranger Kanootsen

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OH NO-

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Valerie Smart

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Very f*****g rude

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I wear a headscarf, and someone once asked me if I had ears.

airbenderx , Beverley Goodwin Report

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When I moved back to Florida from Scotland a girl I was hitting on at a bar asked me how long a drive that was.

Kilen13 , Tobias Begemann Report

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When I was in America in 2012, a man asked me, completely seriously, if we had cellphones in Norway...

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I used to be a high school college prep teacher. One semester, I had quite a number of students who said they wanted to become surgeons. So one day I showed the class a neat video of a surgeon slicing open a grape with a scalpel and then stitching it back up with this new, technologically advanced pair of robotic arm things. The video was met with many oohs and aahs, and when it was over a hand shot up. I’ll never forget her question.
“What was wrong with the grape?”

(EDIT: Haha okay so people keep saying she was kidding, and the joke just went over my head since I’m old. Wouldn’t change the fact that it was a dumb question. Now I’m 99% sure she was being serious. That or she’s so good an actress that she committed to an entire semester of low grades and embarrassing questions and her friends having to explain things to her and her chuckling embarrassingly at her ditzy self. Now, I said ditzy. I don’t believe any of my students are even a little bit “dumb”. But the question certainly was, and I can with good conscience call it that since on many occasions she spent the entire time talking with her friends only to look up halfway through and just toss her input without gathering much context. In this case she looked up and saw people randomly operating on a grape.

Also, no, she wasn’t blonde. She had black hair. No, English was not her first language (which I’m sure contributed to her lack of focus in the class). Yes she passed the class because she was, in fact, a good kid and quite smart. Just needed a bit of help. She’d make a great surgeon someday if she tried.

Guacaceratops , Mingo Hagen Report

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One of my good friends builds computers. He sold me the components of his old desktop and he brought it over to my house so he could transfer them to a new case for me and then build his new computer. It was taking a while and my mom was agitated that he was there so long and asked "is what you're doing even legal?"

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