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“Every woman knows what I’m talking about,” wrote the author Rebecca Solnit in her hugely influential portion of the essay “Men Explain Things To Me” which first appeared in the 2008 Los Angeles Times. It’s when the concept of ‘mansplaining’ was born, and it refers to men explaining something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate manner without being asked to do so.

According to Solnit, men explaining things to women is not an innocent act, but rather it trains them into self-limitation and self-doubt, and further fuels men’s unsupported confidence.

Fast forward to today, and women around the world still find themselves being mansplained to like it was no big deal. So when Twitter user Priscilla tweeted a question “What’s the dumbest thing that’s ever been mansplained to you?” it immediately went viral with 340.2K likes.

It turned out she was far from the only one whose “husband let her know their home was 'up ahead on the left'” when she was driving. Many more women joined the thread to share their experiences of men lecturing them, and if it’s not illuminating, I don’t know what is.

Image credits: itsPKav

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Bored Panda reached out to the writer, designer, and content creator Priscilla Kavanaugh, who’s the person behind this viral Twitter thread. Priscilla, who runs the blog “Bonjouritchesblog.com,” believes that the reasons for mansplaining have to do with “boys and young men who are empowered in different ways than girls and young women.”

For example, “Girls are taught to 'be nice,' while boys are taught to be fearless.” “Of course,” she added, “it's not as black and white as that, but I think that's a big chunk. We have a lot of work to do!”

When asked what she thinks is the best reaction you can give if you're mansplained to, Priscilla said that her go-to in a sticky situation is “to make a joke, which surely isn't always the best route.” She also stressed that it’s really difficult to be prepared simply because “you never know when you'll find yourself being mansplained to.”

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That doesn’t change the fact that mansplaining is indeed an inherently wrong practice. “Mansplaining is extremely demeaning. Being mansplained to makes one feel 'less than,' and as if one's knowledge isn't worth respecting. Over time, it creates patterns of silence—women simply stop advocating for themselves or sharing ideas because it's exhausting.”

And when it comes to her Twitter thread, Priscilla said that she truly realized that mansplainers “know no boundaries.” On the other hand, “I also learned that there are men out there that are open to learning and trying to put a stop to their own mansplaining; that was very encouraging.”

Thanks to her thread going viral, Priscilla has also interacted with a lot of women who had tons of interesting perspectives. “I asked many of them if I could share their stories in a book, and the response I got was overwhelmingly positive. I really hope I can get it published someday. I think it could be a fun, useful tool for shifting this behavior.”

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American writer Rebecca Solnit, whose 2008 essay “Men Explain Things to Me” helped to give birth to the term “mansplaining,” helped to define the phenomenon with which too many women could relate. Translated into multiple languages, the text inspired many memes, parodies, and ongoing discussions on whether the term has actually done more harm than good.

When asked about what Solnit thinks of the term today, the writer told The Washington Post recently that “I used to focus on its negatives: It does get used too broadly at times, and it can imply that anything men hold forth on is mansplaining.”

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Having said that, the author added that women have been pointing out the incredible value in the term, which helped to describe “an experience most women have but didn’t have terminology for, beyond generics like patronizing, presumptuous, and so forth.”

“I often talk about the importance of calling things by their true name, of the value of precise description, so I’m pleased to have inspired a word that is now in many languages, including, recently, Icelandic,” Solnit commented.

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In 2018, another author and design executive Kim Goodwin went viral with a chart she created to help to show men if they were mansplaining or not. Her “Am I Mansplaining?” chart has amassed 124.5k likes and 58.9k retweets on Twitter.

While drawing the chart, Kim realized “the '-splaining' part comes down to three factors.” First, it’s all about whether “they want the explanation?” She proceeds to explain further: “If someone asks you a question, explain away! Unsolicited explanations may be fine (within reason) if you’re someone’s teacher or manager. Explaining after they’ve declined your help is almost always disrespectful.”

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Secondly, you should ask yourself if you “Are you making bad assumptions about competence?” According to Kim, “explaining things to knowledgeable people isn’t just wasting everyone’s time, and you may, regardless of your intent, undermine them by implying you don’t trust their competence or intelligence.” Moreover, “You also run the risk of undermining yourself by looking like you have an inflated opinion of your own knowledge.”

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And thirdly, Kim asks “How does bias affect your interpretation of the above?” since “both questions are complicated by sexism and other kinds of bias.” According to her, we’re all taught gender bias from an early age, “with boys and girls being criticized and praised for different behaviors in school.”

Even though we like to think that we treat people in a fair manner, it’s not often the case. “Men often assume women are less competent, and white people are likely to assume darker skin equals lower intelligence,” Kim concluded.

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not mansplaining or toxic masculinity, this is just a husband trying to help when his wife is struggling.

Rosie Hamilton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, but it's the confident presumption that he'll be able to do it when she failed that rankles. If he had said 'shall I have a go?' it implies that he realises that he might not be able to do it either - cats being so gifted in this particular art.

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sturmwesen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of an older not-so-lady telling me i should let my dog say hello to hers when we were training to walk on a leash properly. Her dog has absolut no rules or boundaries and weighs 20%of mine. Sure, tell me how to suffer of 40 pounds of muscle on the leash for the next 15 years. He can suffer of 2minutes being cranky if it means i don't slip because his pulling.

Nela Rothenbach
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know what that's like. My dog looks quite cute but her personality 🙄 it takes time for her to learn another dog is friendly. I never let her say "hello" the first time I meet new dogs. I usually call her to walk closely by my side on the side away from the other dog. People see it and still let their dogs loose....and then wonder my dog will growl and bite if it still comes running. It doesn't even stop when I loudly tell them she's not friendly with new dogs.

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April Pickett
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cat doesn't care if your male or female. It doesn't want to go in the carrier, it won't go in the carrier.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a similar battle a few months ago. Taking the cats to a sitter while we moved. Husband was smart enough to let me handle it but was too concerned with sweeping up the fur than to open the carrier... I learned that cat fangs go through your finger like a hot knife through butter!

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is NOT mansplaining. She admitted to failing, he did it, and she laughed...by why? Nah, that is just being bitchy.

c Fuller
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

easy trick. put carrier on its end and door open. Drop extended cat in. Done!

Barbara Vandewalle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a cranky stray cat who has adopted us. My husband has had numerous attacks from him. ME no, because I know how to sweat talk him.

Piet Bourke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cats do like to be clean, but I didn't realise you could actually deter attacks by threatening them with sweat...

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Hugh Cookson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suspect it ended in tears ( and blood, cat pee / poo, scars and loss of dignity for your husband). I would have been helpless with laughter as long as the kitty was OK .....

elfin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a man. I do have cats. I strongly recommend getting a carrier with a top opening door. It's much easier to drop the cat into it than to shove it through a door horizontally. As I learned the hard way.

C.S. E.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having dealt with putting a cat in a soft sided carrier, I feel your collective pain to the bottom of my soul. It's really a 2 person deal - the soft sides require more hands.

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