“Every woman knows what I’m talking about,” wrote the author Rebecca Solnit in her hugely influential portion of the essay “Men Explain Things To Me” which first appeared in the 2008 Los Angeles Times. It’s when the concept of ‘mansplaining’ was born, and it refers to men explaining something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate manner without being asked to do so.
According to Solnit, men explaining things to women is not an innocent act, but rather it trains them into self-limitation and self-doubt, and further fuels men’s unsupported confidence.
Fast forward to today, and women around the world still find themselves being mansplained to like it was no big deal. So when Twitter user Priscilla tweeted a question “What’s the dumbest thing that’s ever been mansplained to you?” it immediately went viral with 340.2K likes.
It turned out she was far from the only one whose “husband let her know their home was 'up ahead on the left'” when she was driving. Many more women joined the thread to share their experiences of men lecturing them, and if it’s not illuminating, I don’t know what is.
Image credits: itsPKav
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I think I would have had a conversation with the manager at that point.
Bored Panda reached out to the writer, designer, and content creator Priscilla Kavanaugh, who’s the person behind this viral Twitter thread. Priscilla, who runs the blog “Bonjouritchesblog.com,” believes that the reasons for mansplaining have to do with “boys and young men who are empowered in different ways than girls and young women.”
For example, “Girls are taught to 'be nice,' while boys are taught to be fearless.” “Of course,” she added, “it's not as black and white as that, but I think that's a big chunk. We have a lot of work to do!”
When asked what she thinks is the best reaction you can give if you're mansplained to, Priscilla said that her go-to in a sticky situation is “to make a joke, which surely isn't always the best route.” She also stressed that it’s really difficult to be prepared simply because “you never know when you'll find yourself being mansplained to.”
My bf once tried to explain to my DENTIST brother the difference between black and white fillings. He insisted that black ones are better because he "read an article online 10 years ago"
An older male gynecologist tried to explain to me, that all my pains are imaginary (it was a 2 week follow-up appointment after I was delivered to the same hospital unconscious from my period pain with my pants all soaked in blood and pain medication not working) and that I should see I psychiatrist instead or try other methods to seek attention from people, so I would not disturb doctors. "Periods are not that bad" - he said, "Look at men, we don't have to imagine sickness to get attention" - he said. Took some time to get the right diagnosis. It was not in my head.
That doesn’t change the fact that mansplaining is indeed an inherently wrong practice. “Mansplaining is extremely demeaning. Being mansplained to makes one feel 'less than,' and as if one's knowledge isn't worth respecting. Over time, it creates patterns of silence—women simply stop advocating for themselves or sharing ideas because it's exhausting.”
And when it comes to her Twitter thread, Priscilla said that she truly realized that mansplainers “know no boundaries.” On the other hand, “I also learned that there are men out there that are open to learning and trying to put a stop to their own mansplaining; that was very encouraging.”
Thanks to her thread going viral, Priscilla has also interacted with a lot of women who had tons of interesting perspectives. “I asked many of them if I could share their stories in a book, and the response I got was overwhelmingly positive. I really hope I can get it published someday. I think it could be a fun, useful tool for shifting this behavior.”
American writer Rebecca Solnit, whose 2008 essay “Men Explain Things to Me” helped to give birth to the term “mansplaining,” helped to define the phenomenon with which too many women could relate. Translated into multiple languages, the text inspired many memes, parodies, and ongoing discussions on whether the term has actually done more harm than good.
When asked about what Solnit thinks of the term today, the writer told The Washington Post recently that “I used to focus on its negatives: It does get used too broadly at times, and it can imply that anything men hold forth on is mansplaining.”
Act completely dumb. Let him tune it. Play something horrible. Retune it correctly. Then play something nice and see his face change!
I recommend to use the heaviest frying pan but she most likely would do this anyway.
Having said that, the author added that women have been pointing out the incredible value in the term, which helped to describe “an experience most women have but didn’t have terminology for, beyond generics like patronizing, presumptuous, and so forth.”
“I often talk about the importance of calling things by their true name, of the value of precise description, so I’m pleased to have inspired a word that is now in many languages, including, recently, Icelandic,” Solnit commented.
In 2018, another author and design executive Kim Goodwin went viral with a chart she created to help to show men if they were mansplaining or not. Her “Am I Mansplaining?” chart has amassed 124.5k likes and 58.9k retweets on Twitter.
While drawing the chart, Kim realized “the '-splaining' part comes down to three factors.” First, it’s all about whether “they want the explanation?” She proceeds to explain further: “If someone asks you a question, explain away! Unsolicited explanations may be fine (within reason) if you’re someone’s teacher or manager. Explaining after they’ve declined your help is almost always disrespectful.”
Secondly, you should ask yourself if you “Are you making bad assumptions about competence?” According to Kim, “explaining things to knowledgeable people isn’t just wasting everyone’s time, and you may, regardless of your intent, undermine them by implying you don’t trust their competence or intelligence.” Moreover, “You also run the risk of undermining yourself by looking like you have an inflated opinion of your own knowledge.”
And thirdly, Kim asks “How does bias affect your interpretation of the above?” since “both questions are complicated by sexism and other kinds of bias.” According to her, we’re all taught gender bias from an early age, “with boys and girls being criticized and praised for different behaviors in school.”
Even though we like to think that we treat people in a fair manner, it’s not often the case. “Men often assume women are less competent, and white people are likely to assume darker skin equals lower intelligence,” Kim concluded.
ah, I see. tell me more about the things I've lived with for my whole life.
They could start the conversation by asking a question about why she's wearing bees? Maybe asking if she really likes bees or asking why she likes bees? There are lots of ways to start a conversation that dont assume the person you are speaking to is completely ignorant of [insert any] topic.
Don't get me started on the Brexiteer crowd who insist that Britain isn't geographically part of Europe. Not politically - that point has already been addressed. These morons insist that the physical island itself (including NI, which I just overlook because my brain hurts at this point) is not part of the collection of countries, including those outside the EU, known as Europe. So... which of the seven continents does it belong in then?
yeah the wetness of the grass has nothing to do with it. Though if you fixed the lawnmower like my dad used to ( with much swearing and occassional flying objects) Mr. mansplain will stay away
Wanna bet the mansplainer was white too, just for another extra layer of irony?
You wonder sometimes if they Mansplain because they are verbally reminding THEMSELVES on how to do something, but don't want to seem like idiots for talking to no one.
because they know SOOOOO much more about it. (that was sarcasm by the way.)
Worse than mansplaining as there was no explanation. This is high level patronisation.
This is not mansplaining or toxic masculinity, this is just a husband trying to help when his wife is struggling.
I've been a Scottish Highland Dancer for 30+ years. The number of guys (always guys) who come up to me to explain that I've got my kilt on the wrong way round is quite astonishing. Dude, it's a kilt, not a schoolgirl outfit. I know my stuff. And no, you cannot touch my sword. :P PS: FYI, it's pleats in the back.
That sounds super cool! I really hate mansplaining, its so humiliating to be treated as if you are stupid just for having boobs. I am a biologist and the person who does the gardening at home. My partner knows nothing about plants to the point that some years ago I needed to explain him that its not a coincidence that our tomatoes are always in the same branch as the flowers were. He didnt know that fertilized flowers turn into fruit. But he keeps mansplaining me how to do the gardening. Sometimes I want to strangle him.
Load More Replies...Ultimate mansplain: A male telling me what my monthly cramps feel like, after I described them. I used words like "agony, nausea" and was told "pain and discomfort" was what I felt. And that was an OB/GYN. No. Pain and discomfort is "i twisted my ankle". My cramps are *I throw up can't eat nausea-inducing doubled-over agony*. (FYI: No, I can't get a hysterectomy. First, the HMO won't cover, and then I was too closet o menopause age. So i suffer for... years. Yay.)
I was lucky to have physicians’ notes/ hospital documents and male health care providers who did not dismiss my pain. The people who accused me of faking it...let’s just say I vomit right near them while shaking in pain and feverish.
Load More Replies...I've been a Scottish Highland Dancer for 30+ years. The number of guys (always guys) who come up to me to explain that I've got my kilt on the wrong way round is quite astonishing. Dude, it's a kilt, not a schoolgirl outfit. I know my stuff. And no, you cannot touch my sword. :P PS: FYI, it's pleats in the back.
That sounds super cool! I really hate mansplaining, its so humiliating to be treated as if you are stupid just for having boobs. I am a biologist and the person who does the gardening at home. My partner knows nothing about plants to the point that some years ago I needed to explain him that its not a coincidence that our tomatoes are always in the same branch as the flowers were. He didnt know that fertilized flowers turn into fruit. But he keeps mansplaining me how to do the gardening. Sometimes I want to strangle him.
Load More Replies...Ultimate mansplain: A male telling me what my monthly cramps feel like, after I described them. I used words like "agony, nausea" and was told "pain and discomfort" was what I felt. And that was an OB/GYN. No. Pain and discomfort is "i twisted my ankle". My cramps are *I throw up can't eat nausea-inducing doubled-over agony*. (FYI: No, I can't get a hysterectomy. First, the HMO won't cover, and then I was too closet o menopause age. So i suffer for... years. Yay.)
I was lucky to have physicians’ notes/ hospital documents and male health care providers who did not dismiss my pain. The people who accused me of faking it...let’s just say I vomit right near them while shaking in pain and feverish.
Load More Replies...