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A wedding is a beautiful thing. When done correctly, it's a personal celebration of love; a proverbial fusion of two souls into one.
At its worst, however, it can morph into a money-hungry industry, chasing after every penny in your pocket.
This is largely because there are a lot of outdated and quite frankly superficial customs that have been carrying on for far too long, mainly due to social inertia.
Interested in these cases, Reddit user u/mathsoprano17 posted a question on the platform: "What's the dumbest wedding tradition?" And they got plenty of replies.
Below, you will find some of the most popular ones that should make you rethink what a typical modern ceremony ought to look like.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Bachelor parties at strip clubs/ Vegas hotel rooms with a private stripper.
Your last hoorah was before you started dating her, not the night before you get married. Stop acting like being faithful is some kind of funeral.
troufaki13 2 years ago
It's getting more absurd with each passing year. It went from a night out with the guys/girls to one-week vacation abroad. Why??
RELATED:
#2
Going deeply into debt to make it happen in the first place.
Biliegh Berrie 2 years ago
American bride fantasy. Growing up believing the wedding has to be a princess fairytale.
#3
Expecting your friends to spend thousands of dollars on you with stupid destination bachelor parties, dress/tux rentals, hotels, miscellaneous b******t.
#4
Smashing a cake in the groom/bride face. Seen too many where they really smash them with the cake
#5
Rehearsal dinners and all the pre-wedding events are b******t. They are unnecessary money spent. If you need to rehearse getting married, then you've complicated your damn ceremony. Get engaged, walk up to your fiance/finacee, say "I do", eat and end the day. S**t.
#7
Removing the garter, the following garter toss, and application on another woman. That s**t is just weird.
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
This is the one I hate the most. Especially when the groom climbs under her dress and removes it with his teeth. Luckily, I've only ever seen this in a wedding photo and have never had to suffer through it in real life. It's such a crass thing to do. Especially in front of your older relatives.
#8
Color matching outfits for the attendants. Those dresses are always ugly and can never be worn outside the wedding. When I got married, I chose an easy color scheme and told my bride maid and maid of honor to match it with whatever they had. They looked lovely.
Biliegh Berrie 2 years ago
It's not that they can't be worn outside the wedding it's that normally the bride picks ugly dresses so she looks pretty. So how about these brides cowboy up and stop with the ugly dresses.
#9
Diamond rings. Didn't become a thing until the 30s when DeBeers made it a thing and had been profitiing ever since.
#10
I feel like I'm gonna be one of the very few people to think this, but I think the whole 'be given away at the alter' thing is weird. When I get married, I'm walking myself down the aisle.
This is probably because I'm just not close with anyone besides my boyfriend (and obviously he can't simultainiously walk me down the aisle and be at the alter), but I've just never liked that tradition.
#11
Maybe this is just me, but the wedding cake.
Over priced, silly, they all pretty much look the same. They're like 90% frosting, and even if you try to get a nice cake, they taste like sandpaper after the six hours they have to be out to be decorated. No one at the party actually wants to eat it, so you end up with about eighty pounds of left over cake.
My husband and I went to a local cupcake shop and order cupcakes, all different varieties. They were made fresh and decorated the morning of, low on frosting because we asked. We put them nicely on the table and when the party was done, we had boxes for everyone to take some home in. People took them into work or school the next day, and it was like we were sharing our happiness with the whole world.
#12
Wedding showers. Being a female person, I get invited to a lot of these, and they're all pretty much the same: sitting around eating finger sandwiches, tentatively sipping white wine, and watching the bride open boilerplate registry gifts and Bed Bath & Beyond gift cards for 3 hours. No thanks.
#13
I've been a bridesmaid in 3 weddings. In all of them, I had to "pair up" with a groomsman, who I was expected to flirt with and "act like a couple" with. This was usually for photos, but also for walking down the aisle. In all three cases, I didn't know the groomsmen and didn't appreciate the implication that we were a couple just because we had to walk together down the aisle.
For example, i had to take group photos where the groomsman I was paired with had to dip me and look lovingly into my eyes. I don't even know that guy's name. At my sister's wedding, I had to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm with my brother-in-law's brother (I was 13, he was 22) and he had to kiss my hand. This was all orchestrated by the mothers-in-law who thought it was precious.
I also had to take pictures where all the bridesmaids would swoon over the groom (and vice versa with groomsmen and the bride), with the implication that we are all jealous that the bride got such a great catch and we wish WE were getting married to him. I was there to support my friend on her wedding day by being her bridesmaid - I am NOT there to secretly undermine her or feel envious.
When I eventually got married, I had a consultation with my photographer. I whipped out these photos and said, 'I don't want THAT.' She laughed and said she hated those too.
#14
Having only girls on the bride's wedding party and only males on the grooms side.
#15
Asking the father or the parents for their permission or blessing. I'm not marrying a child here. I'm marrying an adult who can make her own decisions.
David H 2 years ago
Nothing wrong with asking for a blessing, it's a sign that their family is accepting you in. The Permission is a relic from a different time when a fathers permission was required. But what is wrong with a blessing of support? You want the other family to show full acceptance.
#16
Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a stupid ceremony that is nothing but a showboat of gaudy excess and barely anything to do with the relationship.
#17
The bride being expected to wear white. I've told people I don't want a white wedding dress when and if I get married and you wouldn't believe the looks of disbelief and horror I've gotten in return.
ScarletRos 2 years ago
Wear whatever colour you want, it’s your wedding not theirs. I wore a red.
#18
That the brides family should pay for the wedding. I know it's becoming less common. I have a single mom (dad passed away when I was little) and I know she felt terrible about not being able to contribute more to my wedding. I, knowing my mom has a single income, would never expect my mother to pay for my wedding. I'm not putting down any bride whose family is fortunate enough to pay for their wedding, i just don't think it should be the expectation anymore. Anyways, we had a beautiful wedding and we paid for the majority of it on our own.
#19
Throwing confetti (or rice) at the couple outside the front doors of the church after the ceremony to wish them "good luck."
The pastor of one church asked those in attendance to "please throw $20 bills instead to spare the sexton a huge clean-up job."
Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
I think it's meant to symbolise fertility - rose petals, blowing bubbles are some ways it can be done without the clean up or ill birds.
#20
This is a bit late but there is a tradition in Sweden where if the groom leaves the room without the bride every man in the formentioned room is allowed (or have) to kiss the bride.
I would to so far as to say that it's a bit weird,
#21
For me, wedding itself is a pretty dumb tradition.
You're going to start a life with your future partner and you toss all you life savings on a one night celebration.
Ripley 2 years ago
My partner and I got married at the registry, essentially for a work visa (so romantic!). 10 years later to the day, we had a party as a "reception". It was fun, we got to have a bit of a fancy party and get dressed up, and our marriage had 10 solid years behind it, so it wasn't wasted effort.
#22
Forcing several of your closest friends to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress, or a tux rental, to literally stand in the front of the church with you. Other than the best man and maid/matron/man of honor, there's no purpose.
If you go casual and let people wear their own stuff, it's not so bad.
Foxxy says goodbye. 2 years ago
We asked our groomsmen to just wear a white shirt, black pants and a black tie. We offered to pay for them but all the groomsmen already had them. So easy done.
#23
The idea of throwing a party for gazillion people, because 'they are family!'. No, if I haven't seen them for last 20 years they are not. The whole general social concept of a modern wedding is just stupid. People spending much more they can afford on one night, that is stressful and makes them hate each other and scream at each other. Blah.
edit: grammar
Summer Mason 2 years ago
My father flew up, my brother drove down. All others where my husband's family and our kids. Total 20 people. It was beautiful. We paid for food and our clothing, mil paid for decorating, and everyone brought their own booze.
#24
Inviting people you don't like, who you never see and have a greater than 50% chance of ruining the event.
Then paying $250 a head for the privilege.
#25
Apparently there is a weird tradition that it's bad luck for the bride to walk down the aisle at the rehearsal and some other girl/woman is supposed to walk down and stand with the groom. My wife said "screw that" and walked herself. Why would she want to sit and watch some other girl our age stand up there with me and the preacher the day before the wedding?
#26
Engagement rings. Obscene waste of money to support an evil industry.
Biliegh Berrie 2 years ago
It could be basic design to match the lady's personality. Doesn't have to be full of diamonds.
#27
I'm getting married next month.
I think most of the traditions are dumb.
- I don't want to do a first dance with everyone staring at me. Awkward and unnecessary.
- I don't want to take the garter off of her and throw it to some dudes.
- The dollar dance is dumb
- I wish "Give me money" was an acceptable registry for wedding gifts. No, no gift cards. Money. I've been hassled relentlessly for months about what gifts I want. I want money because this wedding is expensive. That's it.
- The tradition of pricing everything up once the word "wedding" is mentioned. Great photoshoot for your family -- $300. Wedding photos of the same quality and quantity -- $1500. Yeah, I'll gladly just have friends whip out an iPhone and take pics and edit them myself.
#28
The over the top spending in general. I'm now divorced; however, when I got married... I was excited to BE married... I wasn't excited to GET married. I think there's too much of an emphasis on rings, gowns, and impressing all of your guests. I walked into the bridal shop, tried on ONE dress, and said "Ok, good to go!" I believe it was maybe $250. We ordered our rings off of Amazon for probably $50-$75 each, at the most.
A wedding should be about celebrating a commitment to one another, not spending a down payment on a house to throw a party, in my opinion. This holds true, especially, for those people that spend money they don't have on it. I could have just walked down to the courthouse with my ex and been just as happy. I would rather have the money to save for a home for a future family or a college fund for future kids than on a single day of my life.
Richard Smith 2 years ago
"A wedding should be about celebrating a commitment to one another, not spending a down payment on a house to throw a party, in my opinion." AGREE!
#29
The woman buying her dress. I mean why? In theory you will only wear it once. It makes more sense for the guy to buy his tux, there's at least a chance he'll wear it again.
Foxxy says goodbye. 2 years ago
I have been with my hubby for 20 years and he has never worn a tux. Not even for our own wedding.
#30
All the flowers arrangements. I have been to so many weddings where there are amazing, expensive displays on all the tables, down the aisle, etc. etc. It's a lot of money to spend, and totally not worth it (put it toward the food!). Though it can be amusing to see people fight over them once the event is over.
Monika Rhodes 2 years ago
I had someone use food tins, cheap yellow flowers and leftover ribbons tied on the cans, taken the labels off, of course. Loved how amazing it looked.
#31
Just had my wedding back in May. It was AWESOME because if I don't know you, or talk to you, or visit you, and you don't know my birthday, where I work, that I'm even engaged, what state I live in... no, I'm not inviting you. Sorry.
My best friend got married over the weekend. I didn't get to see or talk to her at all during the reception because they were stuck walking around talking to extended family. F**k that noise. I wanna get wasted and dance. It's a party! She did get a f**k ton of presents though.
#32
Brides jumping into water with their wedding dress on.
You could drown idiot!
#33
Registering for gifts. Giving gift cards instead of cash, although this applies to more than just weddings.
I mean, we eventually spent the $1200 in Target gift cards, but it would've been cool to spend it at other places as well.
Mohsie Supposie 2 years ago (edited)
Yes, cold hard cash please! Not just for the wedding, you can give it to me ANY time!
#35
Being expected to have a dance. I hate dancing I've never ever liked it (no not even as a child) and basically everyone tells me that ill have fun dancing because it'll be my wedding day blah blah. Seriously. I always think it'd be fun to go bowling or something but get a third degree burn for not wanting to dance on my wedding day. Maybe the rest of the people there could dance while i enjoy spending time with all the people who came to my wedding
What do you think ?
Fembot 2 years ago (edited)
Dear Americans, most of these are your traditions. You can choose not to follow them. People could wear nice clothes of their own choosing, no wedding showers, rehearsal dinners, demeaning garter throwing, or absurd expenses. A lot less debt-inducing and much more fun! In other parts of the world we have some silly stuff too, like the Swedish one and the dad walking the bride to her groom. But we’re working on that. Don’t listen to the salespeople and do what makes you happy!
Paula Pattison 2 years ago
This is what I was thinking the whole way through this article. I have never seen or heard of most of these traditions. My wedding cake was a dense fruit cake, you could have broken someone's nose if you smashed it into their face (we kept the bottom layer, soaked in plenty of brandy and used it as my son's christening cake)
Load More Replies...
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
One I loathe is the clinking of glasses to get the couple to kiss. I hate the noise. I hate the spectacle. I hate the "command performance" feeling. We told everyone we weren't going to do it, but a few of my aunts tried it, anyway. George planted a smooch on his best man's cheek, and I kissed one of my pals on the top of the head. They didn't clink glasses any more after that. Guys, if a couple says they don't want to do a thing at their wedding, don't try to force them to do the thing.
James016 2 years ago
Wedding speeches: I hated writing it, I hated saying it. The fact I had to stand up in front of everyone and speak with all eyes on me was just horrible and made me anxious. Rest of the night was great though.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I didn't write it - I just ad-libbed on the day, as if I was having a funny chat at a bar with friends. Needless to say I said some off-colour stuff but who cares. It was just for laughs.
Load More Replies... Fembot 2 years ago (edited)
Dear Americans, most of these are your traditions. You can choose not to follow them. People could wear nice clothes of their own choosing, no wedding showers, rehearsal dinners, demeaning garter throwing, or absurd expenses. A lot less debt-inducing and much more fun! In other parts of the world we have some silly stuff too, like the Swedish one and the dad walking the bride to her groom. But we’re working on that. Don’t listen to the salespeople and do what makes you happy!
Paula Pattison 2 years ago
This is what I was thinking the whole way through this article. I have never seen or heard of most of these traditions. My wedding cake was a dense fruit cake, you could have broken someone's nose if you smashed it into their face (we kept the bottom layer, soaked in plenty of brandy and used it as my son's christening cake)
Load More Replies... Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
One I loathe is the clinking of glasses to get the couple to kiss. I hate the noise. I hate the spectacle. I hate the "command performance" feeling. We told everyone we weren't going to do it, but a few of my aunts tried it, anyway. George planted a smooch on his best man's cheek, and I kissed one of my pals on the top of the head. They didn't clink glasses any more after that. Guys, if a couple says they don't want to do a thing at their wedding, don't try to force them to do the thing.
James016 2 years ago
Wedding speeches: I hated writing it, I hated saying it. The fact I had to stand up in front of everyone and speak with all eyes on me was just horrible and made me anxious. Rest of the night was great though.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I didn't write it - I just ad-libbed on the day, as if I was having a funny chat at a bar with friends. Needless to say I said some off-colour stuff but who cares. It was just for laughs.
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