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We've all probably had a brain fart or two in our lives. A momentary lapse where we said something that made us think later: "Wait, that was really dumb..." In the moment, these utterances can feel like the most awkward thing that has ever happened to you. Later, you can probably laugh about it with friends in good humor.

But are all dumb things we say brain farts? Maybe sometimes people really are so oblivious and ignorant that the funniest things come out of their mouths. In this Quora thread, when one person asked, "What are some dumb questions you have been asked?", folks shared the silliest things they ever heard people say.

Do you have any embarrassing brain farts you can share with us, Pandas? If so, let us know in the comments. And don't forget to upvote your favorite dumb entries below!

#1

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Once, at my shop, I stood with my register open, counting a fistful of 50-dollar notes in my hand, when a woman came up and asked me if I worked there. I looked at her, then at the money, then at the open cash drawer, and said, 'Nah, mate. I'm just robbing the till.'

Leigh L. , Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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cerinamroth
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds like something your average sarcastic Brit would say!

Pandemonium
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Sarcastic Brit" is a bit redundant, idn't it? (Said with much love for my friends on that lonely rock in the middle of a stormy sea.)

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ZGutr
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Robbing the till? so who you are you ? the owner? ........ for I briefly worked at a place where the owner never did any work himself. you could tell he had been in the store, the till was empty. That's right! No change left either

TheGoodBoi
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You too?? Lol I had an owner that wouldn't empty the till, but would take quite a bit out. You could guess how nervous I was at the end of the night trying to balance out the safe. "Oh...yeah I took $200 from the till." YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST TOLD ME!?

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TheGoodBoi
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's awesome as well, is when some asks you if you work there, and you're in street clothes minding your own business. I ended up helping the lady because I did in fact know where the dairy section was, but no I did not work there lol.

MaryWinDenver Notgiven
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup. I was a cop for many many years, once had a woman walk up to me while I was standing, in uniform, next to a marked patrol vehicle--Are you a cop? I glanced back at the car and said, "Nope, stole the car and managed to snag a uniform too." Just open mouthed looked at me.

Sophia L.
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was wearing a shirt with the shop's logo and stocking shelves, people were asking if I work there...

Marnie
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless the logo was large and was readable from a distance, then if you can't understand why, maybe you need to think harder.

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Winter
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol! That reminds me of a time - seems like centuries ago now - when I used to run a Bulletin Board (commonly known as a BBS - what the internet used to be before there was an internet) called "The REAL CONNECTION" (later called "death... by chocolate") It was a 24 hour job, seven days a week, so when my husband and I went on holidays, we usually got trusted friends in to "house sit" this BBS. Users were able to chat to Sysops (System Operators) and one night our friends received such a chat request. The User quickly picked up that it wasn't me they were (text) chatting to, and asked the friend who she was. She typed in "we're burglars, here to rob the place!" The poor User promptly logged off in confusion! lol! A few days later when we returned I had to explain to said User that the "burglars" were friends of ours, minding the BBS whilst we were away for a couple of days. Luckily the User hadn't called the police - the only reason they hadn't, was because they didn't know where it was

Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My god, the amount of times people asked me that while I stood at the front of the store, wearing the uniform, a nametag right there on my front, and I literally open up conversation with "Welcome to -Retail Name-, how can I assist you?"

Bec
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hubs and I were recently out and 2 employees were counting out a large amount of $ on the counter next to their registers - clearly they didn't think we were a threat but when I worked a register we were trained to keep it closed after each transaction and counted $ in the office

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Zake
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think of a video that has been circulating in China for a long time. The camera focuses on a person who is installing an air conditioner. He is still wearing air-conditioning brand work clothes. The person filming asks him: What do you do? The person being asked had a very funny expression

Mary Peace
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So did she phone the police? Start screaming? Or agree to say nothing if you gave her a share?

Immortal Jellyfish
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the Isle of Skye standing at the top of a waterfall my wife asks "is that the ocean?" Me pointing down saying "yeah that's the ocean" wife gestures at the waterfall........... Her logic the river is coming from behind us and the ocean is also behind us (island).

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#2

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions I was working in the emergency department when I received this call from a frantic mother: 'My toddler just drank out of the dog's water bowl! What should I do?' I told her: 'Give the dog some more water.'

Angela A , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jack Burton
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh don't open the emergency silly request part, as a nurse i should wrote a book of funny stories. I remember a cute one. A mother coming with her 5 year old saying something was wrong cause he did not say a word of all day. Me: hi boy, so what's going on ? Him: i really don't want to talk today

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#3

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions *On arrival at a new school*

Girl - So, where are you from?

Me - Nigeria

Girl - Where's that?

Me - It's a country in Africa

Girl - No, Africa is a country

Me - I'm sure it's a continent

Girl - No, Nigeria must be a town in Africa

Another girl - He must be confused

Divine Anamekwe , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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ZGutr
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love those .. "Where's that?" and then suddenly know the geography there better than those who came from there

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#4

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions A true story from a forgotten backwater of Donegal:

"Hey, Graeme, are you coming to church on Sunday?"
"No, I'm an atheist."
"It's ok. Being a Protestant doesn't matter. We're very welcoming."
"I'm not a Protestant, I'm an atheist."
"Are you Jewish?"
"No, I'm not Jewish, I'm an atheist."
"What do you mean?"
"An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in gods."
"No it isn't."
"It kinda is."
"No you're wrong there, you can be an atheist and believe in God."

Me: stunned silence.

Graeme Shimmin , nappy/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#5

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions One of my aunts asked about what I do, so I told her that after completing my electronics engineering degree, I started working in a chip-designing company. After a pause, she asked: 'What are your most popular flavors? Are the chips as good as Lay's?'

Abhinav G , Jeferson santos/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Iampenny
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is actually cute (I'm imagining a some what older non-tech savvy aunt here)

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#6

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions 'Do you have internet in Indonesia?' — and it was asked by email

Andre O , Buro Millennial/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jack Burton
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is only one computer in Jakarta that receives all indonesian emails. Then they print the text and send the message with a local animal depending of the emergency or the content. Could be a leopard, a komodo dragon or an elephant.

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#7

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions My sister was adopted from Korea. She was only about 10 weeks old — an almost newborn infant — when she came home to us. Several people asked me at the time, 'So does she speak Korean?' or 'Does she have an accent?'

Sonnet F , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jack Burton
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stupid to ask about language but i wonder if babies cry and make the same sounds all around the world ?

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#8

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions How come chicken breasts don't have nipples?

Vineet K. , Brenda Timmermans/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#9

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions When I worked at Disney world one summer I was asked this question at least 10 times every day:"when is the 6 pm parade" I learned to smile and politely say,"6pm"

JoAnna Griffin , Craig Adderley/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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The Other Guest
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would presume that when a person asks that question, they're really asking "What time does the 6pm parade pass this particular spot where we are currently standing?" After all, it doesn't just magically appear along the entire parade route when the clock strikes 6.

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#10

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions I got onto an elevator on the fifth floor, which already had people who had boarded on the sixth floor. I pressed the button for the third floor and observed that the button for the second floor was also pressed. As soon as the third floor came and I started to get out, a girl piped up, 'Why, that's so unfair. I got into the elevator before her! Shouldn't I be dropped off first?'

Ritika G , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Verena
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There *are* elevators which follow the order of the buttons punched. Not many, but some older ones do that.

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#12

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions I can remember being asked by a close friend at the time, "How can you be so nice when you don't believe in God?"

Chloe Hunter , Maurício Mascaro/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As Chris Hitchens said, when people say "without god people would rape and pillage", they mean "without god *I* would rape and pillage".

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#13

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions As an Australian traveling overseas, I've been asked: 'Do you carry a stick everywhere you go to fight off the snakes?' 'Oh, you're from Australia? Do you know my niece in New Zealand?' and 'How many miles is it from where you live to Sydney? No, not miles, liters. How many liters is it?'
And when someone I met in a foreign country found out I was Australian, she said, 'Why don't you sound like Hulk Hogan?' I didn't know how to react to this because I had no idea why she would think I would sound like The Hulkster. I was wracking my brain trying to work out what had connected me to the former World Heavyweight champion. Finally, I said, 'Why do you think I should sound like Hulk Hogan?' She said, 'Because he's such a famous Aussie.' We then had a brief argument about the nationality of Hulk Hogan. You may have already made the connection, but it took me ages to realize she was talking about Paul Hogan, aka Crocodile Dundee

Dave S , Los Muertos Crew/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a nice interview with Paul Hogan where he says that he can't go to a restaurant without the chef coming out from back brandishing his biggest cleaver and saying "That's not a knife!" When the interviewer asks Hogan if he ever gets sick of it, he replies, "Well, it might be the thousandth time I've heard it, but it's the first chance he's had to say it to me". Which is a rather lovely way of looking at it.

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#14

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Girl: OMG, are you a muslim?
Me: Yes
Girl: that's cool, can you say something in muslim?

Emir Selman , Prince Photos/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Iampenny
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, on the plus side, she seems open to other cultures and religion and doesn't seem to discriminate, so that makes her automatically better that a lot of other people.

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#15

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Getting into the elevator on the 6th floor of a 6 floor building....

Them: "Going down?"
Me: "No, I plan to shoot right out of the roof! Wanna join me?"

We both had a good laugh and it was said with a smile.

Ariel Williams , Kelly/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#16

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions A teacher, soon after I arrived in the US: 'How long have you been here?' Me: 'A week.' Teacher: 'How did you learn English so fast?!'

Vinati S. , Max Fischer/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jack Burton
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once had: "it must have been difficult to learn spanish so far away from any mexican to talk with". I'm french, i can drive to spain in a few hours.

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#18

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions When I was a waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings, a woman once asked, 'What part of the buffalo do the Buffalo wings come from?'

Charissa E. , Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Skara Brae
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They pinch them off the backs of newborn baby buffalo to prevent airplanes from colliding with flying buffalo.

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#19

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions After telling a friend I am a psychology major, she said, 'Great. Can you tell me what I'm thinking right now?'

Amruta W , Roberto Nickson/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#20

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Answering a call at my home:

Me: Hello?
Friend: Hey dude, where are you?
Me: At pizza hut, I took the landline with me....

Nirmal-Sabu , Zen Chung/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#21

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Shopkeeper: 'I will get you a 30% discount on this.' My friend: 'If I buy two, I will get it at 60% off, right?'

Anonymous , iMin Technology/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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DB
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After working in retail for 35 years, I have lost count of the number of times I have heard this.

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#22

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions My friend, upon seeing a Jaguar car: 'So now PUMA has started manufacturing cars, too?'

Vinkateshwar J., , Roman Pohorecki/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#23

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions While visiting Vietnam:
"Look, that's the moon. Do you have it back in France?"

Alexandre Thiery , Bruno Scramgnon/Pexels (Not the actual photo) Report

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#24

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions I wasn't asked this but, I overheard this in a bus, in Vancouver.

Guy - I've been to India, twice!

Girl - That's so cool. Where?

Guy - Tibet and Nepal.

Anupam Srivastava , Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#25

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions When I told a girl that I have a twin, she asked, 'So, do you, like, have the same birthday?'

Venkat R , Yelena Odintsova/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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ZGutr
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that is not per se a dumb question. There are twins where one gets born just before midnight, the other just after. (but it's not uncommon to "falsify" the record making it the same day)

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#26

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Do you have planes in your country? Nope I rowed from half way across the world.

Vinati Singh , SevenStorm JUHASZIMRUS/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Adrian
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brit here, living in California. I'm always asked, "What brought you here?" and I always reply, "A really big plane!"

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#27

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions A lady in Japan: "Do Indians have a shower in their houses or do you bathe in the Ganges everyday?"

Suman Rao , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jack Burton
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm french and back in 2008 and old chinese lady in Hong-Kong ask me if Nicolas Sarkozy was an emperor or a king.

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#28

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions As I'm Greek, I've been asked, 'So...do you believe in Greek gods like Zeus and stuff?'

Zoe , jimmy teoh/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes we do! And I just asked Zeus Almighty to grant me a couple of favors! He's a people pleaser, unlike his wife, you can't ask her for anything 😠

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#29

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions I had a student email me to ask how to convert years into centuries

Peter L. , Taryn Elliott/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#30

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions This friend of mine said, 'I don't think I'd understand Fantastic 4. I haven't seen Fantastic 1, 2, and 3.'

Vivek R , 20thcenturyfox (not the actual photo) Report

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Robert T
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Friday the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th weren't very good either!

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#31

I come from the southern hemisphere, so it is Summer in December.

I told this to my friend in the US, and he immediately asked, "Wow, so you guys celebrate Christmas in June"?

Anonymous Report

#32

Q: People in Asian countries are so damn skinny and there are so many obese people in America, so why doesn't the Earth tilt towards the west because of all the extra weight in the west?

A: Silence.

Neha Sharma Report

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#33

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions Idiot: Your name is "Roses?" Like the flowers?
Me: No, as in "Guns n'."

Michelle Paul , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Miki
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AFAIK it's not uncommon in English countries to change some letters in such names so his question was valid :D

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#34

Being a Brit, while working in a Theme park in Ohio one summer:

Asked genuinely...

- Do you have traffic lights?
- Where in the London is the eiffel tower?
- My aunt is called XXXX XXXXX, Do you know her?
- Do we celebrate Christmas.
- Is England near Europe?
- Is it true that doctors decide if you live or die?
- Do you have McDonalds ( I then said yes, and they looked wonderfully relieved)
- Do you have Freeways?


Was never sure if these were jokes, but to be honest I don't think they were.

- Do you have electricity?
- Do you know the Queen?

Tom Goodwin Report

#35

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions 'So will the website you build for us work on Internet explorer and Godzilla both?'

Sidharth Rao , Lukas/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Spidercat
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaah yes Godzilla vs Firefox.... Thinking about it, I'd probably watch that.

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#36

From my ex (we were quite young back then) referring to my you-know-what: 'So where does the bone go afterward?'

Swekar P Report

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Jeevesssssss
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It goes into the uterus. Once you've had enough sex they assemble into a baby.

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#37

I once knew a girl from college. We used to travel together by the local trains. Once she wanted me to send her one of the songs that i had on my phone using blue-tooth. We tried but her phone was showing some kind of problem with the settings. We gave up when my stop/station arrived and I left. Later in the night, I got a text message saying "hey send the song now ...my blue-tooth is working.".!!!
I had a good laugh that night !!
The worse part is.. we are engineers!!

Abishek Sethuraman Report

#38

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions My friend after watching Batman Begins...

" Dude, who is this Gotham they keep talking about all the time ? "

Venkat Krishnan · , Picography/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#39

After a party, I was giving a friend of mine a ride home. He is not a dumb guy, but we were both pretty tired as it was late, and possibly still a little impaired too.

We were stopped at a red light and he looked around and asked, “Is this where we are now?”

Matt Stevenson Report

#40

Idiot : So what do you want to do later in life?
Me : I want to be a mathematician.
Idiot : Mathematician? Didn't they exist only in ancient times?

Anunay Kulshrestha Report

#41

I wasn't asked this directly, but a former Indian co-worker of mine was asked while visiting Texas: "Are there cars in India?" That one really stuck with me.

But the Texan was equally dumbfounded when my co-worker didn't recognize the name of the Dallas Cowboys' head coach.

Tom Whitnah Report

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GEA
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Texans appear to be the cliched Yorkshiremen of America. As in they think they are superior to people from other parts of the country.

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#42

Why don't all Africans have the same name, you know, like Chinese people?

Eghosa Omoigui Report

#44

"Do women stop peeing when they're pregnant?"

Lucy Chen Report

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Teutonic Disaster
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. Pregnant women, especially in the 3rd trimester, are famously known for never having to pee all the time. JFC 😐🤦‍♂️

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#45

45 Times Dumb Folks Pushed People To Their Limit With Their Questions This one, I have to admit, I'm guilty of asking a coworker a few years ago: 'What date is Cinco de Mayo?'

Ambra B , Canva Studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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GEA
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, this isn't obvious if you don't know the language.

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