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We've all probably had a brain fart or two in our lives. A momentary lapse where we said something that made us think later: "Wait, that was really dumb..." In the moment, these utterances can feel like the most awkward thing that has ever happened to you. Later, you can probably laugh about it with friends in good humor.
But are all dumb things we say brain farts? Maybe sometimes people really are so oblivious and ignorant that the funniest things come out of their mouths. In this Quora thread, when one person asked, "What are some dumb questions you have been asked?", folks shared the silliest things they ever heard people say.
Do you have any embarrassing brain farts you can share with us, Pandas? If so, let us know in the comments. And don't forget to upvote your favorite dumb entries below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Once, at my shop, I stood with my register open, counting a fistful of 50-dollar notes in my hand, when a woman came up and asked me if I worked there. I looked at her, then at the money, then at the open cash drawer, and said, 'Nah, mate. I'm just robbing the till.'
Pandemonium 6 months ago
"Sarcastic Brit" is a bit redundant, idn't it? (Said with much love for my friends on that lonely rock in the middle of a stormy sea.)
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ZGutr 6 months ago
Robbing the till? so who you are you ? the owner? ........ for I briefly worked at a place where the owner never did any work himself. you could tell he had been in the store, the till was empty. That's right! No change left either
TheGoodBoi 6 months ago (edited)
You too?? Lol I had an owner that wouldn't empty the till, but would take quite a bit out. You could guess how nervous I was at the end of the night trying to balance out the safe. "Oh...yeah I took $200 from the till." YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST TOLD ME!?
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MaryWinDenver Notgiven 5 months ago
Yup. I was a cop for many many years, once had a woman walk up to me while I was standing, in uniform, next to a marked patrol vehicle--Are you a cop? I glanced back at the car and said, "Nope, stole the car and managed to snag a uniform too." Just open mouthed looked at me.
Sophia L. 6 months ago
I was wearing a shirt with the shop's logo and stocking shelves, people were asking if I work there...
Marnie 5 months ago
Unless the logo was large and was readable from a distance, then if you can't understand why, maybe you need to think harder.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 6 months ago
What's awesome as well, is when some asks you if you work there, and you're in street clothes minding your own business. I ended up helping the lady because I did in fact know where the dairy section was, but no I did not work there lol.
Winter 5 months ago
Lol! That reminds me of a time - seems like centuries ago now - when I used to run a Bulletin Board (commonly known as a BBS - what the internet used to be before there was an internet) called "The REAL CONNECTION" (later called "death... by chocolate") It was a 24 hour job, seven days a week, so when my husband and I went on holidays, we usually got trusted friends in to "house sit" this BBS. Users were able to chat to Sysops (System Operators) and one night our friends received such a chat request. The User quickly picked up that it wasn't me they were (text) chatting to, and asked the friend who she was. She typed in "we're burglars, here to rob the place!" The poor User promptly logged off in confusion! lol! A few days later when we returned I had to explain to said User that the "burglars" were friends of ours, minding the BBS whilst we were away for a couple of days. Luckily the User hadn't called the police - the only reason they hadn't, was because they didn't know where it was
Wysteria_Rose 5 months ago
My god, the amount of times people asked me that while I stood at the front of the store, wearing the uniform, a nametag right there on my front, and I literally open up conversation with "Welcome to -Retail Name-, how can I assist you?"
Bec 6 months ago
Hubs and I were recently out and 2 employees were counting out a large amount of $ on the counter next to their registers - clearly they didn't think we were a threat but when I worked a register we were trained to keep it closed after each transaction and counted $ in the office
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Zake 1 month ago
I think of a video that has been circulating in China for a long time. The camera focuses on a person who is installing an air conditioner. He is still wearing air-conditioning brand work clothes. The person filming asks him: What do you do? The person being asked had a very funny expression
Mary Peace 5 months ago
So did she phone the police? Start screaming? Or agree to say nothing if you gave her a share?
Immortal Jellyfish 6 months ago
On the Isle of Skye standing at the top of a waterfall my wife asks "is that the ocean?" Me pointing down saying "yeah that's the ocean" wife gestures at the waterfall........... Her logic the river is coming from behind us and the ocean is also behind us (island).
#2
I was working in the emergency department when I received this call from a frantic mother: 'My toddler just drank out of the dog's water bowl! What should I do?' I told her: 'Give the dog some more water.'
Jack Burton 6 months ago
Oh don't open the emergency silly request part, as a nurse i should wrote a book of funny stories. I remember a cute one. A mother coming with her 5 year old saying something was wrong cause he did not say a word of all day. Me: hi boy, so what's going on ? Him: i really don't want to talk today
#3
*On arrival at a new school*
Girl - So, where are you from?
Me - Nigeria
Girl - Where's that?
Me - It's a country in Africa
Girl - No, Africa is a country
Me - I'm sure it's a continent
Girl - No, Nigeria must be a town in Africa
Another girl - He must be confused
#4
A true story from a forgotten backwater of Donegal:
"Hey, Graeme, are you coming to church on Sunday?"
"No, I'm an atheist."
"It's ok. Being a Protestant doesn't matter. We're very welcoming."
"I'm not a Protestant, I'm an atheist."
"Are you Jewish?"
"No, I'm not Jewish, I'm an atheist."
"What do you mean?"
"An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in gods."
"No it isn't."
"It kinda is."
"No you're wrong there, you can be an atheist and believe in God."
Me: stunned silence.
#5
One of my aunts asked about what I do, so I told her that after completing my electronics engineering degree, I started working in a chip-designing company. After a pause, she asked: 'What are your most popular flavors? Are the chips as good as Lay's?'
#6
'Do you have internet in Indonesia?' — and it was asked by email
Jack Burton 6 months ago
There is only one computer in Jakarta that receives all indonesian emails. Then they print the text and send the message with a local animal depending of the emergency or the content. Could be a leopard, a komodo dragon or an elephant.
#7
My sister was adopted from Korea. She was only about 10 weeks old — an almost newborn infant — when she came home to us. Several people asked me at the time, 'So does she speak Korean?' or 'Does she have an accent?'
Jack Burton 6 months ago
Stupid to ask about language but i wonder if babies cry and make the same sounds all around the world ?
#8
How come chicken breasts don't have nipples?
#9
When I worked at Disney world one summer I was asked this question at least 10 times every day:"when is the 6 pm parade" I learned to smile and politely say,"6pm"
The Other Guest 6 months ago
I would presume that when a person asks that question, they're really asking "What time does the 6pm parade pass this particular spot where we are currently standing?" After all, it doesn't just magically appear along the entire parade route when the clock strikes 6.
#10
I got onto an elevator on the fifth floor, which already had people who had boarded on the sixth floor. I pressed the button for the third floor and observed that the button for the second floor was also pressed. As soon as the third floor came and I started to get out, a girl piped up, 'Why, that's so unfair. I got into the elevator before her! Shouldn't I be dropped off first?'
#11
What is the correct spelling... Iran or Iraq?
#12
I can remember being asked by a close friend at the time, "How can you be so nice when you don't believe in God?"
Vix Spiderthrust 6 months ago
As Chris Hitchens said, when people say "without god people would rape and pillage", they mean "without god *I* would rape and pillage".
#13
As an Australian traveling overseas, I've been asked: 'Do you carry a stick everywhere you go to fight off the snakes?' 'Oh, you're from Australia? Do you know my niece in New Zealand?' and 'How many miles is it from where you live to Sydney? No, not miles, liters. How many liters is it?'
And when someone I met in a foreign country found out I was Australian, she said, 'Why don't you sound like Hulk Hogan?' I didn't know how to react to this because I had no idea why she would think I would sound like The Hulkster. I was wracking my brain trying to work out what had connected me to the former World Heavyweight champion. Finally, I said, 'Why do you think I should sound like Hulk Hogan?' She said, 'Because he's such a famous Aussie.' We then had a brief argument about the nationality of Hulk Hogan. You may have already made the connection, but it took me ages to realize she was talking about Paul Hogan, aka Crocodile Dundee
Vix Spiderthrust 6 months ago
There's a nice interview with Paul Hogan where he says that he can't go to a restaurant without the chef coming out from back brandishing his biggest cleaver and saying "That's not a knife!" When the interviewer asks Hogan if he ever gets sick of it, he replies, "Well, it might be the thousandth time I've heard it, but it's the first chance he's had to say it to me". Which is a rather lovely way of looking at it.
#14
Girl: OMG, are you a muslim?
Me: Yes
Girl: that's cool, can you say something in muslim?
#15
Getting into the elevator on the 6th floor of a 6 floor building....
Them: "Going down?"
Me: "No, I plan to shoot right out of the roof! Wanna join me?"
We both had a good laugh and it was said with a smile.
#16
A teacher, soon after I arrived in the US: 'How long have you been here?' Me: 'A week.' Teacher: 'How did you learn English so fast?!'
Jack Burton 6 months ago
I once had: "it must have been difficult to learn spanish so far away from any mexican to talk with". I'm french, i can drive to spain in a few hours.
#18
When I was a waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings, a woman once asked, 'What part of the buffalo do the Buffalo wings come from?'
Skara Brae 6 months ago
They pinch them off the backs of newborn baby buffalo to prevent airplanes from colliding with flying buffalo.
#19
After telling a friend I am a psychology major, she said, 'Great. Can you tell me what I'm thinking right now?'
#20
Answering a call at my home:
Me: Hello?
Friend: Hey dude, where are you?
Me: At pizza hut, I took the landline with me....
#21
Shopkeeper: 'I will get you a 30% discount on this.' My friend: 'If I buy two, I will get it at 60% off, right?'
#22
My friend, upon seeing a Jaguar car: 'So now PUMA has started manufacturing cars, too?'
#23
While visiting Vietnam:
"Look, that's the moon. Do you have it back in France?"
#24
I wasn't asked this but, I overheard this in a bus, in Vancouver.
Guy - I've been to India, twice!
Girl - That's so cool. Where?
Guy - Tibet and Nepal.
#25
When I told a girl that I have a twin, she asked, 'So, do you, like, have the same birthday?'
#26
Do you have planes in your country? Nope I rowed from half way across the world.
#27
A lady in Japan: "Do Indians have a shower in their houses or do you bathe in the Ganges everyday?"
Jack Burton 6 months ago
i'm french and back in 2008 and old chinese lady in Hong-Kong ask me if Nicolas Sarkozy was an emperor or a king.
#28
As I'm Greek, I've been asked, 'So...do you believe in Greek gods like Zeus and stuff?'
troufaki13 6 months ago
Yes we do! And I just asked Zeus Almighty to grant me a couple of favors! He's a people pleaser, unlike his wife, you can't ask her for anything 😠
#29
I had a student email me to ask how to convert years into centuries
#30
This friend of mine said, 'I don't think I'd understand Fantastic 4. I haven't seen Fantastic 1, 2, and 3.'
#31
I come from the southern hemisphere, so it is Summer in December.
I told this to my friend in the US, and he immediately asked, "Wow, so you guys celebrate Christmas in June"?
#32
Q: People in Asian countries are so damn skinny and there are so many obese people in America, so why doesn't the Earth tilt towards the west because of all the extra weight in the west?
A: Silence.
#33
Idiot: Your name is "Roses?" Like the flowers?
Me: No, as in "Guns n'."
#34
Being a Brit, while working in a Theme park in Ohio one summer:
Asked genuinely...
- Do you have traffic lights?
- Where in the London is the eiffel tower?
- My aunt is called XXXX XXXXX, Do you know her?
- Do we celebrate Christmas.
- Is England near Europe?
- Is it true that doctors decide if you live or die?
- Do you have McDonalds ( I then said yes, and they looked wonderfully relieved)
- Do you have Freeways?
Was never sure if these were jokes, but to be honest I don't think they were.
- Do you have electricity?
- Do you know the Queen?
#35
'So will the website you build for us work on Internet explorer and Godzilla both?'
#36
From my ex (we were quite young back then) referring to my you-know-what: 'So where does the bone go afterward?'
Jeevesssssss 6 months ago
It goes into the uterus. Once you've had enough sex they assemble into a baby.
#37
I once knew a girl from college. We used to travel together by the local trains. Once she wanted me to send her one of the songs that i had on my phone using blue-tooth. We tried but her phone was showing some kind of problem with the settings. We gave up when my stop/station arrived and I left. Later in the night, I got a text message saying "hey send the song now ...my blue-tooth is working.".!!!
I had a good laugh that night !!
The worse part is.. we are engineers!!
#38
My friend after watching Batman Begins...
" Dude, who is this Gotham they keep talking about all the time ? "
#39
After a party, I was giving a friend of mine a ride home. He is not a dumb guy, but we were both pretty tired as it was late, and possibly still a little impaired too.
We were stopped at a red light and he looked around and asked, “Is this where we are now?”
#40
Idiot : So what do you want to do later in life?
Me : I want to be a mathematician.
Idiot : Mathematician? Didn't they exist only in ancient times?
#41
I wasn't asked this directly, but a former Indian co-worker of mine was asked while visiting Texas: "Are there cars in India?" That one really stuck with me.
But the Texan was equally dumbfounded when my co-worker didn't recognize the name of the Dallas Cowboys' head coach.
#42
Why don't all Africans have the same name, you know, like Chinese people?
#44
"Do women stop peeing when they're pregnant?"
Teutonic Disaster 6 months ago
Yes. Pregnant women, especially in the 3rd trimester, are famously known for never having to pee all the time. JFC 😐🤦♂️
#45
This one, I have to admit, I'm guilty of asking a coworker a few years ago: 'What date is Cinco de Mayo?'
What do you think ?
Jerome Lenovo 6 months ago
but quite scary sometimes. That level of stupidity is .... i don't know, concerning ?
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Sage da therian 6 months ago
Most of these are simply people being uneducated or not tech-savvy. There is a difference between stupidity and inexperience/not being knowledgeable on a subject.
Gavin Johnson 6 months ago
I grew up in an area near Stockport, when I went travelling around Europe in my late teens I stopped saying that was my home town, no one knew it (no surprise really) so I’d just say I was from Manchester (it’s the nearest city and Stockport is part of the wider area of Greater Manchester), I lost count of how many people asked if I knew the Manchester United players. Yup 2 point something million residents, I know them well….
Mary Peace 5 months ago
Maybe you knew the Manchester CITY players better. . .
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Mila Sliacka 6 months ago
I once met up with a friend and a few of her colleagues downtown in front of a public library. Me: I was here earlier today. One of the colleagues: Oh, are you still in college? Me: No. Him: So why do you still go to a library?
Jaguarundi 6 months ago
My husband's niece, bless her heart, thought that the US Navy only had one ship and the entire Navy shared it. This same niece took a lactose pill because her drink had coconut milk in it. She's a registered nurse.
T'Mar of Vulcan 6 months ago
People still think that there are lions and zebras running in the streets in South Africa. Sometimes tigers, too. We always say tigers aren't indigenous to Africa but then two weeks in a row tigers escaped from sanctuaries here so it's hard to deny.
Skywitness 6 months ago
I'm a little concerned that this isn't even scraping the surface of dumb that most of us experience.
Cassie 6 months ago
I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and am very clearly of European decent. I was asked, "Where were you born?" - "Japan." - "But you don't look Japanese." - "Because I'm not Japanese." - *visible confusion*
Harry Verner 1 month ago
If u were born in Japan u r Japanese. U r not Asian but u r Japanese. It's a country not an ethnicity
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Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago
An Aussie here. When I studied in the US in the early 70s, I was asked lots of questions, such as " oh you're an Australian .... how did you get here ... ? Was it by train ?
Atom Bohr 1 month ago
Once, when unwell and on some hefty pain meds, I asked on a fb post about a vegan alternative to silk, how they could possibly get the silk off the silk worms without harming them? In the morning I looked at fb before the meds kicked in and all I can say is that a lot of people really made sure to make it clear that I was Stupid. I can't even disagree. Another time a uni student (2023) asked how the lecturer to explain how they were using the start bar to switch between programs
Teresa Spanics 5 months ago
There should be one about the stupid questions that Canadians get about Canada.
WonderWoman 6 months ago
There is this one guy who asked if his battery operated boat were to sink would he get electrocuted from the battery! He wants to be the leader of the USA and idiots are willing to vote for him.
Judes 6 months ago
That's not a dumb question. It depends on whether or not the battery casing is damaged, the volatage of the battery, the composition of the water, and any safeguards built into the system.
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Bored Trash Panda 6 months ago
I was painting a neighbors apartment one time. Walked down to 711 for snacks and smokes and the cashier was like "Oh, you painting something?" as I am standing there with paint all over me from painting the ceiling. Me being the smartass I am and without missing a beat "no, just decided to throw paint all over myself today"
Jerome Lenovo 6 months ago
but quite scary sometimes. That level of stupidity is .... i don't know, concerning ?
Load More Replies... Sage da therian 6 months ago
Most of these are simply people being uneducated or not tech-savvy. There is a difference between stupidity and inexperience/not being knowledgeable on a subject.
Gavin Johnson 6 months ago
I grew up in an area near Stockport, when I went travelling around Europe in my late teens I stopped saying that was my home town, no one knew it (no surprise really) so I’d just say I was from Manchester (it’s the nearest city and Stockport is part of the wider area of Greater Manchester), I lost count of how many people asked if I knew the Manchester United players. Yup 2 point something million residents, I know them well….
Mary Peace 5 months ago
Maybe you knew the Manchester CITY players better. . .
Load More Replies... Mila Sliacka 6 months ago
I once met up with a friend and a few of her colleagues downtown in front of a public library. Me: I was here earlier today. One of the colleagues: Oh, are you still in college? Me: No. Him: So why do you still go to a library?
Jaguarundi 6 months ago
My husband's niece, bless her heart, thought that the US Navy only had one ship and the entire Navy shared it. This same niece took a lactose pill because her drink had coconut milk in it. She's a registered nurse.
T'Mar of Vulcan 6 months ago
People still think that there are lions and zebras running in the streets in South Africa. Sometimes tigers, too. We always say tigers aren't indigenous to Africa but then two weeks in a row tigers escaped from sanctuaries here so it's hard to deny.
Skywitness 6 months ago
I'm a little concerned that this isn't even scraping the surface of dumb that most of us experience.
Cassie 6 months ago
I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and am very clearly of European decent. I was asked, "Where were you born?" - "Japan." - "But you don't look Japanese." - "Because I'm not Japanese." - *visible confusion*
Harry Verner 1 month ago
If u were born in Japan u r Japanese. U r not Asian but u r Japanese. It's a country not an ethnicity
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago
An Aussie here. When I studied in the US in the early 70s, I was asked lots of questions, such as " oh you're an Australian .... how did you get here ... ? Was it by train ?
Atom Bohr 1 month ago
Once, when unwell and on some hefty pain meds, I asked on a fb post about a vegan alternative to silk, how they could possibly get the silk off the silk worms without harming them? In the morning I looked at fb before the meds kicked in and all I can say is that a lot of people really made sure to make it clear that I was Stupid. I can't even disagree. Another time a uni student (2023) asked how the lecturer to explain how they were using the start bar to switch between programs
Teresa Spanics 5 months ago
There should be one about the stupid questions that Canadians get about Canada.
WonderWoman 6 months ago
There is this one guy who asked if his battery operated boat were to sink would he get electrocuted from the battery! He wants to be the leader of the USA and idiots are willing to vote for him.
Judes 6 months ago
That's not a dumb question. It depends on whether or not the battery casing is damaged, the volatage of the battery, the composition of the water, and any safeguards built into the system.
Load More Replies... Bored Trash Panda 6 months ago
I was painting a neighbors apartment one time. Walked down to 711 for snacks and smokes and the cashier was like "Oh, you painting something?" as I am standing there with paint all over me from painting the ceiling. Me being the smartass I am and without missing a beat "no, just decided to throw paint all over myself today"
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