Went to stroke my friends dog who jumped up and gave me a black eye. Fell over by being a wuss about crossing some ice and broke my arm - husband went first and just calmly walked across but I kept testing it and being ultra careful. Lost my balance getting up off the loo and head-butted the handbasin. 🤕 Large lump and bruising that lasted for a good couple of weeks. I have so many of these - I'm an exceptionally clumsy person.

Putting Christmas decor up while standing on a folding chair. Stepped back, chair collapsed and i fell backwards, butt first through my glass and iron coffee table. The sound of the glass shattering was like a Hollywood action movie. Natural instinct cause me to turn mid flight and try to catch myself. The glass shattered and i immediately knelt to check my arms. Thankfully no severed wrists. Move on all fours to stand up and my daughter says "uh mom dont move." "Why ". I asked as i looked over my shoulder. There was a pretty good sized shard of glass sticking out. Yes, i had been deeply stabbed in the butt!! I reached around and pulled the large shard out. Blood started pouring out. My husband comes running and he yanks my pants down while im still on all floors and say im going to the ER asap. I started to look and he stops me. I dont like blood. My daughter is fasinated by all this and bends down close to the wound and says "whats that white bubbly stuff?". It was my a*s fat. We throw a down over it and head off to the hospital. Towel was soaked by the time we got there. My pants had a 1" hole but the the triangular sharrd had went so deep it took 27 stitches! At one point while getting sewn up my lovely daughter pointed out a spot i missed while shaving my leg and went on and on about how much a*s_fat she could see. Post Note: if you ever Have to be stabbed the butt is the best place. The pain was minimum but having to wear sweats to the office because i had thick padded bandages was great. Now the best part...My A*s Itched for 6 months! I would leave meetings just to go stratch and i getting really good at rubbing on desk and wall corners. And finally, since i did it the Monday before Thanksgiving that i was hosting for about 40 people they all had a good laugh.

Impaled my hand on an oily knife that slipped as soon as I pressed down, tore tendons in my arm rolling pizza dough, walk through a glass panel because I didn't see it and had to get stitches, slammed a door and got a concussion from knocking a bunch ice ice off the roof. Slipped a disc tying my boots.

My sister was vacuuming and walked into the corner of a chest too hard and broke her toe. She also popped a blister with an un-sanitised utensil and poisoned her whole leg. She also had her radius bent by a horse. She's been to the hospital quite a bit.

With a rather big collection of kitchen accidents (two resulted in multiple stiches), last time I tried to crack a cinnamon stick in half and managed to impale one if my fingers with it as it broke :'D

I threw out my back by hiccuping and reaching for something at the same time. My sister got hit by an iguana

I sprained my ankle once taking off my sock. Doctor laughed for a good ten minutes.

Some ideas there for the next Final destination film

I broke my ankle trying to run from a wasp. At least I didn't get stung! Darn ankle still ain't right.

In seventh grade, I once climbed up on the bleachers during gym class while waiting to take a test and get my school photo taken. I wound up getting a splinter embedded inside of my thumb nail, and my parents had to take me to the emergency center to get it out.

Jumped of our porch railing when I was ten. Was supposed to hit the trampoline but missed. Landed on the ground with my chin on my kneecap and ended up with six stitches. The same year I fell off a big gym ball and broke my tailbone.

i hope all these people got well soon after all of these accidents.. but OMG i laughed way too hard to often :D i am so sorry

When my sister was 4 yrs old, she and my mother were at some place and my mom let her go for a second and she went straight for the automatic door, slid her finder in while it was open and got it stuck for about 10 seconds until it opened again.

A few things you need to know before I tell you my story. 1) I can't see 5 inches in front of my face when I have my glasses off, 2) it was in the middle of the night, 3) I'm anemic, 4) I'm female and 5) my dog was dark brown. One night, probably around 1am, I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't put my glasses on and I walked out of my room and into the hallway. It was pitch black and I didn't see my dog lying in the middle of the hallway. I tripped over her and landed sideways on my leg. A few days later there's a big bruise on my leg and I had to go to the grocery store. Did I mention that this happened in the summer. Someone from the Women's Resource Center approached me, gave me her card, and told me to call her if I needed any help.