Lookit, what’s that thing gracefully floating in a pond, merrily honking around and shooting projectiles out of their bums? Why, glad you asked, for it’s the hero of the bird world, the duck! And although we do find the subject of butt projectiles devilishly amusing, the duck itself is the protagonist of this article. And it’s not just some article; it’s an article composed of duck puns!
Some bird puns glorify their subjects—their luscious plumage, their lilting songs, and the gracefulness they show, making inconceivable figures like gods above our heads. With duck jokes, though, the story is a bit different—these silly puns are mostly about ducks being, well, ducks. Sometimes angry, sometimes funny, but most importantly—always painfully adorable. So, before scrolling down, be prepared for some very, muchas, and tres cute puns. Don’t say that we didn’t warn you!
Now, we’re not ones to ruffle some feathers, but these duck jokes will definitely take you on a flight of a lifetime (that being a hyperbole, of course—these are just some funny puns, after all). Ready? Well then, scroll on down below and check out our glorious selection of duck puns! Once you are there, vote for the funny duck jokes you liked the most and share this article with anyone to whom it might be of concern.
Why do ducks hate reading directions?
They prefer to wing it.
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How do ducks propose?
With a wedding wing.
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Daddy duck was watching a film called 'Lord Of The Wings'.
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Why Are Ducks So Funny?
Well, because they’re “quacking” jokes all the time! Get it? They “quack” jokes! In all seriousness, though, we might find ducks funny because they’re the clear antithesis of grace and elegance combined with hilarious honking and incredibly huge feet.
Just think of a duck with its round belly, disproportionately long neck, huge paddle feet to keep them from tumbling over, and those seam-splitting nasal honks, and you might have a pretty decent idea why people find a duck that much fun.
It’s also no wonder there are so many funny duck jokes around when the source of inspiration is so astoundingly hilarious!
The ducks couldn’t fly to another country, because they didn’t have the proper duck-uments.
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What do they say about French ducks?
They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.
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The Buddhist duck visited the mo-nest-ry every day.
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Why Do People Like Ducks So Much?
For one, they’re an excellent source of inspiration for various kid jokes about animals. But besides their fun appeal, ducks are also highly intelligent animals that are human-oriented and always entertaining to have around. Pet ducks can understand commands, aren’t shy about showing their emotions, and love playing games with their keepers.
And when you put all those qualities into the funny-looking body of a duck, it makes for an incomparable package filled with joyous moments! Which, of course, are so often captured in these duck jokes for kids and adults alike.
The duck who lived on the 20th floor of the building wanted a pair of binoculars to get a bird's eye view.
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What show do ducks watch on TV?
Duckumentaries.
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Most ducks live in what state?
Duckota.
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Do Ducks Have Fun?
Absolutely! But not as much as you while reading the “What do you call a duck that steals” joke. Seriously, though, since ducks are known to be highly intelligent and emotional creatures, they do like to play with toys or play games, which is a tell-tale sign that ducks like entertainment.
And when they’re entertained, ducks will let everyone know about it by chirping, quacking softly, bobbing their heads, and wagging their cute little tails. And a happy duck is sure a sight for sore eyes! (P.S. A duck that steals is called a “rubber ducky”)
Now that we know all sorts of fun things about these adorable birds, it might be time to get back to reading the duck jokes we still have in store for you. Vote for the ones that you like the most, and share your favorite funny duck jokes in the comments with us!
What do you call a ghost duck?
A poultrygeist!
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At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
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What do ducks say when people throw things at them?
“Time to duck!”
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What is a chick’s favorite drink?
Peepsi.
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What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck tape.
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What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus?
A Christmas quacker.
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When is roast duck bad for your health?
When you’re the duck.
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If a duck says “Quack quack,” what says “Quick quick?”
A duck with hiccups.
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What kind of TV shows do ducks watch?
Duckumenteries.
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What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole?
Quackamole.
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Why did the duck go to the bank?
He wanted to get a new bill.
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What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently?
Portu-geese.
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Ducks love surfing the internet; they use their webbed feet.
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A duck went out to watch a movie, starring her favorite actress Duck-ota Johnson.
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If a duck was crossed with a crocodile, it would make a quack-odile.
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A duck who is never tired of quacking and always wants to quack is called Quack-more Duck.
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There is a special church for ducks.
Birds of Pray.
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What was the secret agent duck named?
James Pond!
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What do you call a rude duck?
A duck with a quackitude.
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Why did the duck sleep under the car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
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What do you call a cat that swallows a duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-puss.
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What did the duck say when the waitress came?
“Put it on my bill!”
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What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
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Where did the duck go when he was sick?
To the ducktor.
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What do you call a duck that steals?
A robber ducky.
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Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said “Quack quack.”
Then the other said, “Hey, I was about to say that!”
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Why do ducks lay eggs?
They would break if they dropped them.
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Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are quacked.
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What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
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What’s a duck’s favorite ballet?
The Nutquacker.
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What did the duck say to the banker?
“My bill is bigger than yours.”
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Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
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Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker!
Oh, sorry — excuse my fowl language.
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Why didn’t the duck have any money?
Because he already had a big bill.
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Where can you find pictures of duck feet?
They’re on the webbed.
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What’s a duckling’s favorite game?
Beakaboo!
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Why did the duck go to the chiropractor?
To get it’s back quacked.
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What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs?
It lays scrambled eggs.
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What’s a duck always order with its Chinese food?
An eggroll.
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What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo?
Quackodiles.
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What’d the duck say when he dropped his plate?
“I hope I didn’t quack it!”
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What did the cow tell the duck when she heard she won the lottery?
“You lucky duck!”
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What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks?
Firequackers.
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The lovely duck couple went to watch a movie, they watched 'A-nest-hesia.'
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Donald Duck became an undercover operator and became a duck-tective.
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The poultry farm owner made his duck a famous singer and the duck promises to keep on singing until his Bill Withers.
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My ducks are really good at saving, because they have their bills under control.
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The drakes were in need of medication as they had an aci-duck stomach.
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Some drakes were really pro-duck-tive, so a film crew decided to make duck-umentry on them.
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Ducks are always trending on social media, they have a large fan follo-wing.
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All the drakes, mallards and ducks asked the waiter to get them quack-a-mole topping added to their nachos.
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Ducks love coffee; they love bre-wing it.
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It's always the duck-est just before dawn.
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Ducks are good at the art of se-duck-tion.
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The train con-duck-tor was cool.
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What do you call slang between young ducks?
Ducklingo.
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What is the baby duck’s favorite game?
Beak-a-boo.
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What did the lawyer say to the duck in court?
“I demand an egg-splanation!”
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How can you tell rubber ducks apart?
You can’t because they look egg-xactly the same!
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What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any!”
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Where do tough ducks come from?
Hard-boiled eggs.
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What do you call a cow and two ducks?
Milk and quackers.
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What do you call a clever duck?
A wise quacker.
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Why do ducks check the news?
For the feather forecast.
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On what side does a duck have the most feathers?
The outside.
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What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in?
Their quack-packs.
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Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
It’s too far to waddle.
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Why did the duck get a red card in the football game?
For fowl-play.
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Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Quack! Quack who? Quack open the door and you’ll see!
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How do ducks talk?
They don’t; they quack.
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Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
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Two ducks were skipping down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck, “I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack!”
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Why do ducks never grow up?
Because they grow down.
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What do mallards eat at a baseball game?
Quacker-jacks.
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What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
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What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch?
You taste a-maize-ing.
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What is storytime called when you read to ducklings?
Ducktales.
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What’s a duck do when he hears a joke he likes?
He quacks up!
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What should a duck wear to a fancy event?
A duck-sedo!
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What do you call a crazy duck?
A wacky duck!
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What kind of eggs do bad ducks lay?
Deviled eggs.
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Why did the duck get a second job?
He had too many bills.
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The duck slept without keeping an alarm but don't worry, she'll get up at the quack of the dawn.
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In a group of back-yard duck friends, one duck was left alone, because she was said to have quack-itude.
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A duck had her feathers broken, so her family doctor used duck-tape to fix her feathers.
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Two little ducks didn't like their backpacks, so they were told to carry their school books in their quack packs instead!
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The poultry owner took their ducks to the duck-tor as they were sick.
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We fed a group of ducks in the backyard the other day, and it was really bread-taking.
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The duck-tective interrogated the victim ducks today, and they eventually quacked under pressure.
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The group of ducks watched a movie together, it was called 'Beak A Leg.'
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The duck mechanic offered to fix the computer as he is quite good at duck-nology and understands the web.
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I pity the ducks who were pricked by the quack-tus and had to go to the duck-tor.
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The mallards consulted the duck-tionary as they couldn't get quacks.
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If a flower was crossed with a duck, we would get Daisy Duck.
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What do you get if you cross a duck with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
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You could always wing it and see where the wind takes you.
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They don't all have to quack you up, just put a little ruffle in your feathers.
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How did the duck parents know their duckling was a prodigy?
He was eggcelent from birth!
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What kind of egg does a troublemaker duckling hatch from?
Deviled.
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Where do ducks go shopping?
The mall-ard.
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Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel?
That was one tough nut to quack.
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Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
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What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens?
Fowl weather.
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What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?
A fire-quacker.
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Why was the duck put into the basketball game?
To make a fowl shot!
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What do duck physicists say?
“Quark, quark.”
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What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
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How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.
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Where do ducks go when they are sick?
The ducktor’s office.
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What’s a duck’s favorite vegetable?
An eggplant!
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Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk?
She tripped on a quack.
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What’s a duck’s favorite type of popcorn?
Quacker Jacks.
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Why do ducks like campfires?
They love seeing them quackle at night.
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Why did the duck have to go to the auto shop?
His windscreen was quacked!
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The interviewer asked everyone whether they had heard about the duck who thought she was a squirrel; they replied, "Argh! That was a tough one to quack."
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"The poultry farm owner said, "My ducks are very sincere; they are really ho-nest.""
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The duck was declared out by the umpire in a baseball match because she did a fowl play.
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A duck was scolded by the teacher as she was continuously quacking jokes in the class.
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Donald Duck was egg-cited for the hide and seek game as he's a wise quacker in being sneaky.
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If a duck pilot went to McDonald's, he would introduce himself as Launchpad McQuack.
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Ducks make lousy accountants, because they only know how to de-duck.
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How are 1 year old and duckling different?
The first one is the whiny toddler and the second one a tiny waddler.
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The duckling got grounded for his language.
He had a fowl mouth.
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What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case!”
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Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?
Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.
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What do ducks have with soup?
Quackers.
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Why do ducks say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
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What is a duck’s favorite sea monster?
The quacken.
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What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond?
Duck!
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Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck?
He avoids walking into a bar.
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Why did the duck get detention?
He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
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How do ducks make pancakes?
They use Bis-quack!
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The duck's favorite dance movie is 'La La Land', he said, "It's poultry in motion."
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At a high profile civil suit, the duck lawyer in charge of defence said, "Ma-llard these ducks are not at fault."
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A group of ducks were going to a rock band concert, the band name was 'Wing-er.'
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Why don’t ducks grow up?
Because they only grow down.
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Platypus enters a restaurant that is owned by a duck. He finishes his meal and asks for his check. What did the duck do?
Duck-billed platypus.
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What is it called when a duck commits an illegal act in waterpolo?
A water-fowl!
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What do you call a kind and successful duck?
A waddle citizen.
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What do you get when you cross a duck and a wiener dog?
A duckshund!
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