Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app

Continue in app Continue in browser

16Kviews

131 Duck Jokes That Might Just Quack You Up

ADVERTISEMENT

Ducks, the prudent mediators between geese and humans, the bread crumb-fueled cardinals, the peacekeepers that we all should look up to. You shouldn't judge a duck on its plain attire or one that's too flamboyant - those are just guises of this majestical bird's wisdom. Their gentle quack and projectile butt offshoots are also just a smokescreen to bamboozle us, unwitting onlookers, as the duck does know the secrets to the universe. So very much unlike us! We're just the regular Earth dwellers, trying to figure out the galaxy by naming the stars, praying to goddesses, and making up silly jokes as we go. And, in the jealousy of the aforementioned bird's abilities, we also try to mock them with a roster of duck jokes. Lovingly mock them, of course, as with any deity, one should be very careful not to cross the line that would bring its wrath upon us.

It is like this in the world of bird jokes - ones about chickens are so very hackneyed, those about exotic birds - so very unrelatable, but once a duck is mentioned, the scene suddenly changes. Now, we're hushed and listening closely. The duck joke might come as something so original, you'll have to have a moment to think about it, or it might bring a gale of laughter right away. But, no matter the case, you just know that you've just heard the best joke in your life.

There's nothing to prove here with these cute duck jokes - they'll prove their worth on their own. All we have to do is just waddle a bit further down, read the smart jokes without quacking up, and vote for the ones to our liking. If you agree that these are the best jokes ever, so will your friends! That is - if you share this article with them.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

What do you call movies that ducks like to watch? Duck-umentaries.

13points

#2

What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker.

13points

#3

What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks? Firequackers.

13points

#4

What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond!

13points

#5

What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.

13points

#6

What is storytime called when you read to ducklings? Ducktales.

12points

Deni Castro 2 years ago

DuckTales, ooohooh!!!...

1point

View More Replies...

View more comments

ADVERTISEMENT

#7

What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses? A robber ducky!

12points

mopini 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#8

What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news? The feather forecast.

11points

FireSwirl 1 year ago

I bet they would be a little scared to watch fox news though (https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CAJIKU_enUS1049&q=What+will+a+fox+do+to+a+duck%3F&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjjsfH-tOT_AhWVnGoFHVEADssQzmd6BAgfEAY&biw=1366&bih=768&dpr=1&safe=active&ssui=on)

-1point

ADVERTISEMENT

#9

What time do ducks get up? The quack of dawn.

11points

#10

Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.

10points

#11

What do ducks have with their soup? Quackers!

10points

#12

Most ducks live in what state? Duckota.

10points

Y A Duck 8 months ago

North or south?

0points

ADVERTISEMENT

#13

Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.

10points

#14

Why did the duck end up in jail? He was selling quack.

10points

#15

Did the duck couple make plans for their night out? No, they decided to wing it.

10points

#16

What game did the duck play at the arcade? Quack-a-mole.

10points

#17

What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently? Portu-geese.

10points

#18

Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get it’s back quacked.

9points

ADVERTISEMENT

#19

What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs? It lays scrambled eggs.

9points

#20

There were no more clients for the duck doctor. Everyone knew he was a quack!

9points

#21

What slogan did the geese use in their anti-duck propaganda? “Quack is wack.”

9points

#22

What game does a duck play at the bar? Bill-iards.

9points

#23

Why don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already on their feet!

9points

#24

What did the cow and duck name their new rock band? Cheese and quackers!

9points

ADVERTISEMENT

#25

What do you call a rude duck? A duck with a quackitude.

9points

#26

What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? “I demand an egg-splanation!”

9points

#27

Where did the duck go when he was sick? To the ducktor.

9points

#28

What do mallards eat at a baseball game? Quacker-jacks.

9points

#29

What do ducks use to fix things around their house? Duck tape!

8points

#30

What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#31

Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack.

8points

#32

Why did the duck go to the bank? She wanted to get more bills.

8points

FireSwirl 1 year ago

*and again with the multi beaked duck*

3points

#33

Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.

8points

#34

What did the detective say to his partner? “Let’s quack this case!”

8points

#35

Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage? He smelled fowl.

8points

#36

What do you call slang between young ducks? Ducklingo.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#37

What kind of egg does an optimistic duckling hatch from? Sunny side up.

8points

#38

What kind of egg does a calm and collected duckling come from? Over easy.

8points

#39

What does a duck say when they disagree with someone? “That’s reduckulous.”

8points

#40

How do you know if a duck is scared? He’s quacking in his boots.

8points

#41

On what side does a duck have the most feathers? The outside.

8points

#42

What did the duck say to the banker? “My bill is bigger than yours.”

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#43

What is a duck’s favorite sea monster? The quacken.

8points

#44

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck? He avoids walking into a bar.

8points

PathOfLeastResista 1 year ago

But ducks walk into bars all the time...

0points

#45

What do ducks carry their school books in? Quack-packs!

7points

#46

Why do ducks never grow up? Because they grow down.

7points

#47

What’s a duck’s favorite vegetable? An eggplant!

7points

#48

Why don’t ducks like reading directions? They prefer to wing it.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#49

What’d the duck say when he dropped his plate? “I hope I didn’t quack it!”

7points

#50

Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.

7points

#51

Why did the duck have to go to the auto shop? His windscreen was quacked!

7points

#52

What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers!

7points

#53

Which musician do ducks listen to the most? Drake.

7points

#54

What do you call a crazy duck? A wacky duck!

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#55

What do you call it when it’s raining chickens and ducks? Fowl weather.

7points

#56

Did you ever hear about the poor duck who wanted plastic surgery for his face? He couldn’t afford the bill.

7points

#57

The rest of Joey’s aviary is so well behaved! He just couldn’t get his ducks in a row.

7points

#58

What does a duck say when they’re sick? They’re feeling under the feather.

7points

#59

What did the bird in the air yell when the bird in the water was in danger? Hey! Duck!

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#60

What document did the duck politician write on his mouth? The bill of rights.

7points

#61

What is it called when a duck commits an illegal act in waterpolo? A water-fowl!

7points

#62

The duckling got grounded for his language. He had a fowl mouth.

7points

#63

How did the duck parents know their duckling was a prodigy? He was eggcelent from birth!

7points

#64

What kind of egg does a disorderly duckling come from? Scrambled.

7points

#65

What fabric softener to ducks use? Downy!

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#66

What does a duck use to break an almond open? A nutquacker.

7points

#67

Where do ducks go shopping? The mall-ard.

7points

#68

What do you call the evil ruler of a small pond? A ducktator!

7points

#69

Ducks can’t carry up to four fish in their bill. But a peli-can!

7points

#70

The duck detective knew something was amiss the second he took the case. He suspected fowl play.

7points

#71

What do you get when you cross a duck and a wiener dog? A duckshund!

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#72

Who was the duck’s favorite politician? Bill Clinton!

7points

#73

What do you call it when a group of mallards is making too much noise? Quackophany!

7points

#74

You can’t get any information from Spy Duck. He’s a tough nut to quack.

7points

#75

What do ducks say when people throw things at them? “Time to duck!”

7points

#76

What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus? A Christmas quacker.

7points

#77

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes? “I hope I didn’t quack any!”

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#78

What did the duck say when the waitress came? “Put it on my bill!”

7points

#79

Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

7points

#80

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It’s too far to waddle.

7points

#81

Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For fowl-play.

7points

#82

Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said “Quack quack.” Then the other said, “Hey, I was about to say that!”

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#83

Why are ducks, bad drivers? Their windshields are quacked.

7points

#84

Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot!

7points

#85

What do duck physicists say? “Quark, quark.”

7points

#86

What do pre-teen ducks hate? Voice quacks.

7points

#87

Why did the duck go to the bank? He wanted to get a new bill.

7points

#88

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a quack on the sidewalk.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#89

How do you get down off a horse? You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.

7points

#90

What do they say about French ducks? They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.

7points

#91

Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker! Oh, sorry — excuse my fowl language.

7points

#92

What has fangs and webbed feet? Count Duckula!

6points

#93

What’s a duck do when he hears a joke he likes? He quacks up!

6points

#94

What should a duck wear to a fancy event? A duck-sedo!

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#95

How do ducks make pancakes? They use Bis-quack!

6points

#96

What’s a duck always order with its Chinese food? An eggroll.

6points

#97

What did the cow tell the duck when she heard she won the lottery? “You lucky duck!”

6points

#98

Why do ducks lay eggs? If they dropped them, they would break.

6points

#99

Daffy didn’t mind that he lost the swimming match against Bugs. It was like water off a duck’s back.

6points

#100

Did you ever hear about the duck that got his feathers knocked off? He couldn’t tell up from down.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#101

Why was the baby duck sad? He was feeling down.

6points

#102

Why do spiders like ducks so much? Their webbed feet.

6points

#103

What point of a view does a duck write a book in? Bird person.

6points

#104

I’ve noticed a lot of rubber waterfowl in TV shows lately. Getting sick of all this produck placement.

6points

#105

What news did the duck get from the doctor? He had a perfect bill of health!

6points

#106

I went searching for ducks at the pond but only found other birds. It was a wild goose chase.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#107

Where do ducks go to search for jokes? The world wide webbed feet!

6points

#108

How do ducks propose? With a wedding wing.

6points

#109

What do you call a kind and successful duck? A waddle citizen.

6points

#110

Why did the duck need his window fixed? There was a quack in it!

6points

#111

What does a duck shout when it's angry? “What the duck?”

6points

#112

One day a duck ran into his cousin from Canada. He was a bit of a loon.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#113

What do you call a duck that’s biting someone? Peking Duck!

6points

#114

What do you call a ghost duck? A poultrygeist!

6points

#115

The duck was upset by how little his boss paid him. He said it was a poultry
sum.

6points

#116

Where do ducks live? Bill-dings!

6points

#117

Did you hear what the delinquent duck said when his teacher told him to stop talking in class? “Waddle you do about it?”

6points

#118

What’s the name of Mr. Duck’s favorite drummer? Wingo Star!

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#119

What is the baby duck’s favorite game? Beak-a-boo.

6points

#120

Why did the duck sleep under the car? Because he wanted to wake up oily.

6points

#121

How can you tell rubber ducks apart? You can’t because they look egg-xactly the same!

6points

#122

What do you call a cow and two ducks? Milk and quackers.

6points

#123

When is roast duck bad for your health? When you’re the duck.

6points

#124

What happens when a duck flies upside down? It quacks up.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#125

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quack! Quack who? Quack open the door and you’ll see!

6points

#126

How do ducks talk? They don’t, they quack.

6points

#127

Why do ducks say quack? Because it can’t say moo.

6points

#128

What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond? Duck!

6points

#129

Why didn’t the duck have any money? Because he already had a big bill.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#130

Where can you find pictures of duck feet? They’re on the webbed.

6points

Frederick Seaborne 1 year ago

#131 What should you do if you see a sign that reads, "Beware of low-flying waterfowl"? DUCK!!!

0points

Miglė

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

You May Like

118 Wildly Amazing Animal Jokes

Aivaras Kaziukonis

50 Cat Pics From The Online Group Dedicated To Raising People’s Spirits One Kitty At A Time

Ieva Pečiulytė

47 Hiding Spots That Funny Cats Have Found While Avoiding The Dreaded Vet

Akvile Petraityte 🇺🇦

Back to Homepage

More about Animals

Next in Animals

Related on Bored Panda

Related on Bored Panda

Word Search

WordroW

Jigsaw

Crossword

Sudoku

Picdoku

Killer Sudoku

Kriss Kross

Word Flower

Trending on Bored Panda

Also on Bored Panda