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Dry humor jokes are not everyone’s cup of tea. They might sound stale and cringe to many, but if you have that specific sense of humor, there’s nothing better to mix in some dry humor into your daily jokes playlist.

One might also wonder, is dry humor attractive? Well, that’s the same as with the jokes itself. It all depends on the taste. If you have a dry sense of humor, there’s nothing better for the person in the same boat.

It’s hard to describe their nature without having any dry humor examples at hand, but we feel like the contents of this list will do just fine. From Batman discussing his preoccupation with a vengeance with his therapist to people advising against eating a clock (as it can be quite time-consuming), dry jokes of all kinds are gathered here. 

Some will make your eyes roll, some should make you think for a bit, and some even carry an uncanny resemblance to their better-loved cousin—dad jokes, yet, all are dry as hell. And be careful not to break your finger while scrolling! On the other hand, we think you might be OK. No, but seriously, be careful.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.

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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the courier threw the box to the neighbours. I'll see myself out.

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#2

What is the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.

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#3

I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand, I’m okay.

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#4

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand I asked what I should bring to the party.
The hosts said, “Nothing, just bring a happy face.”
I had to cancel.

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Henry Russell
Henry Russell
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why do they ask so much of us. i just wanna go into a party , eat the food, sing ( and sometimes dance) badly and then leave

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#5

My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.

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#6

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that.

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#7

I can't stand kleptomaniacs.
They take things literally.

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Couragetcd
Couragetcd
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are more annoying than pedantics? They take everything figuratively as far as they can.

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#8

Me: I’d like to travel.
My bank account: To work?

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#9

Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

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#10

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

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#11

A flat earther’s only fear… is sphere itself.

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#12

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Rizzo
Rizzo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you can keep your fish. :)

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#13

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Do you want to know what always makes me smile?
Face muscles.

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Couragetcd
Couragetcd
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of a famous quote: It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to SLAP THE B***H THAT MADE YOU FROWN!

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#14

Do you wanna box for your leftovers? No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.

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#15

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

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#16

Roses are dead, violets are dead.
I am a bad gardener.

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Samsquatch
Samsquatch
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The roses are dead, the violets are too, I’m not a bad gardener, the bad gardener is you.

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#17

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.

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ola_n avatar
Headless Roach
Headless Roach
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🎶 For here / Am I sitting in a tin can / Far above the world / Planet Earth is blue / And there's nothing I can do 🎶

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#18

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? Nothing, it’s on the house.

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Henry Russell
Henry Russell
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wait so if i set up a ramp near a building with parking fees then i just need to amke it on the roof to not pay any money

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#19

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand What’s the one thing in life you can actually always count on?
A calculator.

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Couragetcd
Couragetcd
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to say your fingers, but if you're not a very good carpenter...or cook...or lumberjack...there are lots of ways I can be wrong on this.

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#20

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Chickens hadn’t evolved yet.

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TheAmazingFlyingFish
TheAmazingFlyingFish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First came the dino Then came the chicken Then the chicken got turned into dino nuggies It's a full circle.

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#21

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.

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#22

If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness?

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#23

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

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#24

What is red and extremely bad for your teeth?
A flying brick.

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#25

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, ‘I need you to help me get to the other side!’ The other guy replies, ‘You’re on the other side!

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#26

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

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#27

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.

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#28

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Why should you never eat a clock?
It’s too time-consuming.

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#29

What did the drummer name her twin daughters?
Anna One, Anna Two.

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#30

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

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Couragetcd
Couragetcd
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who use selfie sticks should be bopped with their stick.

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#31

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

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#32

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.

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#33

I'm going to try on my new reversible jacket after work today.
I can't wait to see how it turns out.

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#34

Is there a difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A hippo’s really heavy and a zippo’s a little lighter.

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#35

The toilet paper rolled downhill for what reason?
To get to the bottom.

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#36

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand I call my horse Mayo…
and sometimes Mayo neighs.

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#37

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

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#38

How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.

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Henry Russell
Henry Russell
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1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

so i have to act like my penis and be small become ranodmly straight and expel yellow liquid

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#39

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

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#40

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

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#41

You know what they say?
Words.

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#42

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What’s your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I’m a big metal fan."

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#43

A patient told the surgeon he couldn’t feel his legs.
The surgeon replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."

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#44

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

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#45

What did one Frenchman say to the other Frenchman?
How on Earth would I know? I don’t speak French.

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#46

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A horrible boating accident.

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#47

Why are elevator jokes so classic?
They work on many levels.

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#48

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

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#49

What is small, square and green?
A small green square.

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#50

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

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#51

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.

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#52

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Everyone’s always dying to get in.

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#53

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

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#54

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.

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#55

I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

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#56

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Frogs wear what kind of shoes?
Open toad sandals.

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RHIN0C0RN
RHIN0C0RN
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am imagining the warrior frog who has shoes made from the bodies of sliced-open toads

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#57

When french fries meet after a long time, what do they do?
They ketchup.

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#58

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

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#59

I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.

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#60

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says, 'Can you make me one with everything?'"

silverwolfclear Report

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#61

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Why did the old man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.

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#62

Can you tell me what’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

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#63

What do you call a pencil sharpener that can’t sharpen pencils?
Broken.

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#64

How do I eat consciously?
You try not to lose consciousness when eating.

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#65

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.

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#66

Why did Mr. Potato Head’s dry cleaning service go out of business?
He always used too much starch.

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#67

How do you describe a joke that isn’t funny?
A sentence.

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#68

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand I have the world's worst thesaurus.
Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.

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#69

My dog is an awesome fashion adviser.
Every time I ask him what I look like in my clothes, he says, "WOW!"

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#70

A man limps to the doctor’s office and gasps, "Doctor, I was bitten by my dog."
The doctor checks, "Did you put anything on it?"
"No, he seemed to be enjoying the taste without any condiments."

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#71

How do you get someone to stop swinging on the tire swing?
Snip the rope.

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#72

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
If they tried lifting the other one, they’d fall over.

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#73

How come oysters don’t donate to charity?
They’re shellfish.

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Roy Briggs
Roy Briggs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are chili peppers considered so rude? Cause they jalapeno business

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#74

Shopping mall wife’s average speed:
$200 per hour.

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#75

They say women get turned on by guys who are funny. Well, if that’s true, I must have a very dry sense of humor.

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ThatOmniCapybara(she/they)
ThatOmniCapybara(she/they)
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1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#76

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen

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#77

I threw away my can opener.
It was more of a can’t opener.

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#78

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to hit you.
That’s the punchline.

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#79

You know why they called it "the dark ages?"
There were too many knights.

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#80

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand What’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road!

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#81

Three fish are in a tank.
One asked the others, "How the heck do you drive this thing?"

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Nancy Lynch
Nancy Lynch
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two fish are swimming in a lake when they hit a wall of concrete. "Dam", said one fish.

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#82

Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"
Me: "No, just leave it in the carton!"

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#83

What is written on a dentist’s grave?
He’s filling his last cavity.

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#84

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost.

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#85

Have you heard about the butter rumor?
Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

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Couragetcd
Couragetcd
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Betty Botter bought some butter, but the butter, it was bitter. If she put it in her batter, it would make her batter bitter, but a bit of better butter, that would make her batter better.

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#86

There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.

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#87

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.

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A Really Bored Panda
A Really Bored Panda
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn’t make any sense. A 2 door car is a coupé. Because of the accent you pronounce the e.

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#88

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand What do you do if your eyes are dry?
Moisturize.

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#89

What’s brown and ringing like a bell?
Dung.

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#90

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.

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#91

What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.

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#92

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand "There are two men in a boat, they have three cigarettes but no matches. How do they light up? They throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter."

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#93

What did one stranger say to the other?
Nothing. They didn’t know each other.

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#94

What does an organ donor do when he dies?
He mingles in the crowd.

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#95

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
...Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

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#96

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Did you hear about the beautiful wedding?
Even the cake was in tiers.

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#97

Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole-in-one.

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#98

What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.

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#99

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot."

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#100

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand What’s white and annoying at breakfast?
An avalanche.

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#101

The most corrupt CEOs are the ones who run pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted.

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#102

I don’t have a carbon footprint.
I just drive everywhere.

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#103

Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece!

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#104

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand What makes pigs never appear in trees?
Because they’re pretty good at it.

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#105

Do you know why everyone avoids my house?
It’s haunted.

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#106

What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.

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#107

What do monkey and pancake batter have in common?
They both love bananas.

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#108

108 Dry Humor Jokes That Feel Like A Mouth Full Of Sand Two muffins are in an oven.

One says to the other: Dang, it’s hot in here.

The other replies: Yeah, probably like 350 degrees.

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