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Man Racked With Guilt For Leaving MIL Alone To Fight Off 4 Drunk Men, Seeks Advice Online
Interview With Expert
It’s a pleasant day and you are enjoying a peaceful ride back home. But then, everything is ruined by someone who is a victim of road rage. And this person’s anger is so palpable that they are ready to fight you over something really trivial. As scary as it sounds, these incidents often occur regularly.
Just take the example of lameopinions0, who was stuck in a similar scenario with his mother-in-law and two small kids. While the woman insisted on fighting with the 4 drunk men who got them involved in the situation, he took his kids and ran away.
More info: Reddit
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Man was returning from the hospital with his mother-in-law and two small kids when he was caught in a road rage incident
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
4 drunk men from the other car got very aggressive and the grandma started fighting with them even when the man and kids were telling her to get back in the car
Image credits: lameopinions0
Image credits: user15285612 (not the actual photo)
The man panicked and ran away with his kids to a nearby store, from which he called the cops and his brother-in-law who arrived quickly and joined the argument
Image credits: lameopinions0
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
As things got worse, he took a taxi and left with his kids, and now, even a year after the incident, the family keeps guilt-tripping and shaming him over it
Image credits: lameopinions0
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
They constantly keep repeating that he abandoned the grandma there like a dog and those drunk men could’ve ended her life when he left
Image credits: lameopinions0
He said that he wanted to protect his kids who lost their mom and would’ve been orphaned if anything happened to him, but burdened with guilt, he sought help online
One day, our original poster (OP) was returning from a hospital with his sick child, toddler, and mother-in-law in a remote area when their car was hit. It wasn’t the mother-in-law’s fault who was driving, but the other vehicle had 4 drunk men who barged out and started throwing insults. Now, the stubborn woman was not going to take any of that lying down. She got out and started giving it back.
The man and kids were desperate and they kept telling her to stop and get back in. But it was all heedless for the grandma, who wanted to get the last word with the drunk men. And these men were truly frightening as they even started brandishing weapons at OP and asked him to get out. Soon, things got violent and the grandma got punched in the face.
Scared for his kids, the man took them and ran to a store nearby. Then he immediately called the cops and even his brother-in-law. But instead of resolving things, it just escalated as even the brother-in-law joined in the argument. The poster couldn’t take it anymore because he was feeling protective of his one sick kid and another toddler. So, he just got into a taxi with them and left.
Later, he found out that the cops arrived so late that the drunk men had already split, leaving the grandma covered in bruises. And ever since this happened, she has been distant from her son-in-law. But his two brothers-in-law were so angry with him that they didn’t speak with him for months, declaring that he left their mother there, abandoned like a dog, and her life could’ve ended.
Even after a whole year since this incident, the grandma and her sons just won’t let go of it. Although they are not angry anymore, they keep bringing it up constantly and guilt-tripping him for just running away and leaving her. That sounds quite harsh to hear repeatedly from family, doesn’t it?
But what really breaks our hearts is to hear it from OP’s perspective when he mentioned that his wife had passed away just two months before this incident. And he was only thinking about his little kids, worried that they would lose another parent and be orphaned if anything happened to him. He also confessed that the guilt and shame of leaving her had been burdening him for over a year and eating him up. That’s when he went online to seek advice.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Incidents of road rage have drastically increased in the past few years. In fact, research suggests that a total of 12,610 injuries and 218 murders have been attributed to road rage over a seven-year period in the United States. Looking at the shocking statistics, we can at least try to understand how fearful the poster must’ve felt when the 4 drunk men got aggressive, and more so because of the kids.
The netizens frowned on the grandma, while they sided with the man. They said that she was the one who should be racked with guilt for putting her grandkids in such a dangerous situation. They even pointed out that the poster couldn’t really do anything against 4 drunk men as it was not a fair battle. And the grandmother should’ve realized this and listened to him when he tried to get her back in the car.
Bored Panda interviewed Eden Lobo, a counsellor and psychology professor. She said, “The psychological traits of individuals who display road rage typically have hostile cognitive schemas. This causes them to have an unfavorable perception of other people and things. For example, if a person cuts you off in traffic from the wrong side, an individual with a hostile cognitive schema sees it as a challenge. As a result, they could react violently to exact retribution or punishment.”
It seems that they were looking for retribution when they carelessly insulted the innocent family, even physically hurting the grandmother. That’s when OP’s paternal instincts kicked in and he decided to run for it. If you think about it, he should actually be considered a hero for staying sane and protecting his kids from the offenders.
According to Prof. Lobo, children imitate what happens around them and they could act in an aggressive way if they see it happening right in front of them. She even stressed that road rage could adversely affect the mental health of children if they witness it, and this might lead to trauma, PTSD, or anxiety, depending on the severity of the incident.
This only makes us believe that the man was honestly just striving to be a good father and not let any harm come to his kids. And as the online folks highlighted, the children could’ve been scarred mentally because of their stubborn grandma’s actions. They even said that the kids’ lives came before the mother-in-law’s. And it does sound fair, because kids are completely vulnerable against aggressive adults.
Well, now that you know the whole story, we want to know how you feel about it. So, just scroll down to the comment section and let us know what’s on your mind!
Redditors backed him up, saying that he tried to get the grandma back in her car but she wouldn’t listen and the kids were more important than her
What do you think ?
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
MIL needs this turned around on her, stat. SHE brought danger to them, she continued a fight with 4 drunk guys, she put her own grandkids in a shituation and now she is the victim? No, hard NO.
P Peitsch 5 months ago
That was my exactly first thought. You are in a country, where the police is not really trusted ... plus ... you are on one of the remote places of that country .... plus ... you have to deal with 4 drunk assh0les .... plus your car wasn't totaled, nobody was injured, .... plus you have your grandkids, and the oldest is 4 years old ... plus one of them is sick. And you choose to fight those 4 assh0les, instead of protecting your grandkids, and are you entitled enough to blame the dad of the kids for not wanting to play the Terminator? How much of an idiot can you (and your family) be?
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Libstak 5 months ago
Frankly, if he had stood up any reticence they might have felt in escalating the situation to cause even worse bodily harm would have gone out the windows. They were drunk and would have seen a male as an appropriate target for ALL their aggression, she put him in a situation where intervening literally could have cost him his life in a 4 on one situation. NTA, just showing more sense and correct priorities than anyone else involved.
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 5 months ago
I also come from a family of stupid hot heads, so I can relate. The OP did what I always did: tell the stupid hothead to leave it alone, and then leave. "Im not getting the c**p beat out of me because youre an idiot. Dont put that on me" is what I would say later if they brought it up. Unfortunately, the OP 's kids are suffering from the estrangement, and I feel for him.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
MIL needs this turned around on her, stat. SHE brought danger to them, she continued a fight with 4 drunk guys, she put her own grandkids in a shituation and now she is the victim? No, hard NO.
P Peitsch 5 months ago
That was my exactly first thought. You are in a country, where the police is not really trusted ... plus ... you are on one of the remote places of that country .... plus ... you have to deal with 4 drunk assh0les .... plus your car wasn't totaled, nobody was injured, .... plus you have your grandkids, and the oldest is 4 years old ... plus one of them is sick. And you choose to fight those 4 assh0les, instead of protecting your grandkids, and are you entitled enough to blame the dad of the kids for not wanting to play the Terminator? How much of an idiot can you (and your family) be?
Load More Replies... Libstak 5 months ago
Frankly, if he had stood up any reticence they might have felt in escalating the situation to cause even worse bodily harm would have gone out the windows. They were drunk and would have seen a male as an appropriate target for ALL their aggression, she put him in a situation where intervening literally could have cost him his life in a 4 on one situation. NTA, just showing more sense and correct priorities than anyone else involved.
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 5 months ago
I also come from a family of stupid hot heads, so I can relate. The OP did what I always did: tell the stupid hothead to leave it alone, and then leave. "Im not getting the c**p beat out of me because youre an idiot. Dont put that on me" is what I would say later if they brought it up. Unfortunately, the OP 's kids are suffering from the estrangement, and I feel for him.
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