It is hard to be fair and treat everyone equally, because it is part of human nature to be biased. We treat the people who we like better and we are not that available to people who we don't find dear to us. So double standards are practically inevitable, but they often can be so pervasive and life-changing that they must be dealt with.
Reddit user SecretSquirrel2204 asked people “What is a double standard that really bothers you?” and there were a lot of different answers. Some people gave very specific stories of how different genders are treated differently, others were pointing out the more broad issue of hypocrisy and everything in between.
Do you agree with the answers Redditors gave? What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments and upvote the double standards that seem the most unfair to you!
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Parenting expectations.
My wife died when my kids were 11 months and 2 years old. When I took the kids to the grocery store, without fail I’d get comments like “oh daddy’s day out, huh?”
Breaking point for me was taking them out to eat, I sat there for 20 minutes after being seated, and finally the server came back to the table and goes “did you want to try ordering for the kids or are we still waiting for mom?”
I straight up said to her “well we’d be waiting a long time because she’s dead. I don’t need to try I can order just fine”
You were absolutely right to say that and I hope she learned from it.
"snitches get stitches" mentality never made sense to me in school.
Like, you can bully me, verbally abuse me, steal my stuff and hit me, people are ok with that.
But if I drop someone in it and they get in trouble for their own actions, somehow that is worse?
Why should I let someone be an a**hole to me?
Which leads as adults to shaming/hating victims who complain and/or report abuse (in work environnement / in relationships / in families / and sexual abuse obviously)
If I’m with my kids without the mrs around, people ask if I’m babysitting. No b***h, they’re my kids, I’m parenting.
An unclean house being blamed on the wife despite the husband also living there.
Stupid ass gender roles. It is called life skills and everyone should have them!
Poor person steals = prison sentence. Rich person steals = slap on wrist.
Being told it is OK to ask questions, and being treated like an inconvenience when you do
Yeah, this is awful. I dont pick up things in my head very quickly. Sometimes it seems that I'm quite dense and I may ask questions with obvious answers that aren't obvious to me. Not trying to be difficult, Im trying to be sure I have a grasp on the idea before I execute the action.
Projects and initiatives for the betterment of society (social safety net, healthcare, superannuation, infrastructure) 'drain the system' but when it's time to bail out large corporations, increase wages of already rich and successful people tenfold, or pay someone large amounts for a dodgy little scheme on the side, there's seemingly endless cash lying around. F**k politicians
I grew up in a country that does not encourage the use of personal vehicles. There is a lot of public transportation available. As a result, I have very little mechanical expertise. My white girlfriend, who grew up in the country and whose father is a mechanic, has spent her entire life tinkering with automobiles. When we go to an auto parts store to get something, the salespeople never say anything to her. Even if they ask me a question and she answers, they continue to talk to me as if she doesn't exist. It's unbelievable. They don't seem to notice her. She's gone to job interviews for mechanical jobs where the interviewer asks her extremely simple and dismissive questions because they don't believe she can understand what they're asking.
Yep, in the U.S., it's usually guys that do the repair work on cars. Not saying it's right, but that that's how it is. And I think women can be great mechanics. I guess they aren't taught about it. I think that if you're going to drive, you should have to take a mandatory class on basic vehicle care and maintenance. Everyone.
If a man has no children that's fine.
If a woman has no children she's weird and unnatural.
Yes it super weird and unnatural to not contribute to the overpopulation of the planet. Have fun creating generations of humans who are only going to suffer as they run out of resources and the planet becomes uninhabitable.
Don’t go to work/school if you’re sick, but if you miss school/work you’re in trouble.
I have to show up on time for an interview but it's fine when an interviewer is late (there's a huge difference between a personal emergency and poor planning).
Smoker takes a break to go outside to smoke and that’s perfectly okay.
Non-smoker steps outside for some fresh air and that’s a big problem.
Learning how to do girl's hair. Around my area a man would be called "gay" by doing girl's hair. I wanna learn and get better at doing my 5yr old daughter's hair. Nothing extreme, just the regular nice stuff I guess. Braids ponytails n other cool stuff like that. Men around here only do men's hair, but women can do both men's and women's hair
A lot of people think that being anti-white is a way to be anti-racist. That itself is literally by definition an act of racism.
And so many people think that the way to be anti-racist is to attack their like-minded peers over trivia, and ignore the real racists. F*****g weenies, all of them, going after the safe and easy targets while congratulating themselves for being "activists", and ignoring the real problem.
That gay men can't be misogynists, sometimes they are the worst!
Men can’t be victims of sexual abuse because we are the ‘primary abusers’
You get in ahead of everyone else, and no one notices or cares. But, God forbid, you depart before everyone else and are a slug. No, I worked the same number of hours (if not more) than you. You weren't here to see it, but that doesn't mean I wasn't there.
In the U.S. you're required by law when you turn 18 to sign up for Selective Service because according to the government, you're considered an "adult" who can be drafted into the military at a time of war if needed.....
......but you're not allowed to purchase or consume alcoholic beverages until you're 21 because you're too young otherwise.
So at 18 I can legally be forced to go overseas and partake in combat where I can get my arms and legs blown off and/or end up with severe PTSD for life or even killed.....but God forbid I want to enjoy a cold beer after work ?
Yup, that makes a lot of f*****g sense !!!!!!
In Australia they reduced the legal drinking age from 21 to 18 during the Vietnam war. The reason being, if you are old enough to fight, you are old enough to drink. Makes sense.
Playing a videogame in the evening is considered a bad habit and bad for you, yet the same people who say that spend every minute home either watching TV or on their phone
Sadly there’s still a stigma attached to video games, despite them being challenging, a big creator of jobs and a proven way to improve mental health
I'm still in awe over the double standard with which people treat the credibility of information. If it confirms their world view, they're happy to accept extraordinary information from partisan blogs, tabloids, and columnists with no further confirmation. But if it challenges their worldview, good luck convincing them of anything. I argued with a dude who decided to trust the Washington Examiner's outright lie about the IRS bank reporting proposal. I gave him a link to the ACTUAL PROPOSAL published on the Treasury's website, pointed him to the EXACT page that details the proposal, and he still dismissed the information as partisan deceit.
“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.” ― Stuart Chase
Management enforcing rules they break all the time
Yeah...a good leader will 1) Lead by example and 2) Never tell someone to do something they aren't willing to do themselves.
Tomboys being widely accepted while feminine men are being frowned upon really irks me sometime...
I used to work at a place where the importance hierarchy was:
people with kids
married people (no kids)
single people
At that time, we were meeting to discuss a big release with a lot of things happening. The head honcho said "Ok, DulceEtBanana will come in at 230am to starts {something}" and moved on to the next item.
I said "wait wait how is that my job with no discussion?" "Because it's either you or Dave and Dave's got 2 kids. You're single, of course it's to you."
I pointed out Dave's kids would be sound asleep at 2:30am and "Maybe I should find a kid who wants in on the deal" and got written up for it. F**k them, they went out of business a year later anyway.
Yeah, single folk shouldn't have to suck it up and take the crap just because they are single/childless. They still have lives and families. Just because they haven't produced crotch goblins doesn't mean they don't have things they need to care for or just want to do.
Why can’t I, a male in my 20s, be a babysitter? I love kids and am great with them, but exactly zero people take me seriously (no replies back to public ads and zero friends consider it anything more than a joke of an offer).
A double standard that affects me constantly is it’s socially acceptable to ask people “Why’re you so skinny” but it’s totally unacceptable and inappropriate to ask people “why’re you so fat?”
I myself as a male am called skinny and have been called Anorexic, unknown to people their are reasons I am the size I am due to medical issues.
I’ve had times where people who were fairly overweight would ask me “Man you’re so skinny” and I constantly think in my head what would happen if I said “Man you’re so fat”
You should say it not just think it. And when they say "Wow that's inapopriate" just say "Yeah that's true, commenting on people's weight IS inaporpriate, i'm happy your realise it"
Girls can join Boy Scouts but boys can't join Girl Scouts. What if my son wants to do crafts, learn songs, and sell cookies?
I had a woman pretend to, and joke about roofie-ing my drink at the hotel bar last night when I stepped away for a smoke..
Just laughed along, but God forbid it was the other way, I'd prob have been kicked out of the bar and had the police called on me.
Companies doing PSAs for people to not litter and recycle their products when they themselves are producing products that mostly cannot be properly recycled and end up in landfills anyway. Bonus points for taxes we pay for recycling programs in our cities
** Don't believe Corporate America's lies on claiming they recycle, much less any other Country's ** So if you didn't know, recycling is basically a sham perpetuated by the plastics industry to make their work seem less environmentally destructive. Most plastic isn't even recyclable, and it's touch-and-go with the stuff that is—assuming it even makes it into a recycling bin instead of a trashcan.Mar 22, 2021 https://www.pastemagazine.com/comedy/john-oliver/john-oliver-plastics/
Men can't fight back against a woman who is literally beating them.
I am a woman and believe in true equal rights. If a woman hits a man, he should 100% be able to defend himself and hit her back. Woman should not get p u s s y passes just for being a woman - we also need to learn how to act right.
It’s “weird” for me to babysit my nephews or even pick them up from daycare I get weird looks.
Don't judge a book by it's cover but 1st impressions are everything
There's always - always - a first impression. The trick is to also wait for a second impression, possibly a third, and then draw your conclusions :)
That everyone else is allowed to state their opinion, but I’m just supposed to sit there and keep my mouth shut.
If *everyone* treats you this way... there are a few things you can do. First, you need to stop and understand what the word "opinion" means. "I hate raisins in cookies" is an opinion. "the world is flat" is NOT an opinion, it is a falsehood that defies facts and reality. Second, you should stop and think "is this an educated opinion", i.e. do you have any actual evidence to back it up, or do you just "feel" that this is the right opinion. Thirdly, you need to consider that maybe your opinion just sucks and is offensive, and people are in no way obligated to listen to you insult their values. Finally, if you determine that yes, it is actually an opinion, and yes you have evidence to back it up, and no you are not being a jerk... well then it is time to get new friends, because these ones don't respect you.
How if a young boy sleeps with an older women its an accomplishment and people celebrate the young boy but if its the other way around the guy is punished 99% of the time and death is wished to him. It should be equally as bad and taken equally as serious.
Compare the media wording when it comes to child sexual abuse. Man rapes a girl, it's rightfully referred to as rape. But a woman rapes a boy? It's just sex. No crime here. "Teacher has sex with her five year old student." Hell, one little boy was even sued for child support after his rapist fell pregnant.
Chemical for industrial use: 6 hour training on hazardous materials and piles of paperwork talking about how dangerous it is.
Same exact chemical for home use: Pretty marketing and “keep out of reach of children” in size 6 font.
Your company is also liable if you get hurt. They're probably forced to based on osha rules/insurance.
You are not allowed to be emotional, or show emotions, but you should do it.
In India, everyone wants signal, but they don't want mobile/cell towers in their area
I (30f) have been doing Muay Thai for a couple of years, and at my current gym we have twice a week classes where we do light/touch sparring. This means light or no contact.
Most of the big guys and strong fighters get the message. But most older guys, newer guys, and several women/girls don’t seem to think this rule applies to them and come in throwing haymakers and full-force kicks, and they don’t really get stopped.
Some of us have actual fights coming up and we don’t want to get injured the week before because someone had something to prove.
That's when you give a warning that it's light contact. If they go to rough again, lay them out.
I am physically much more able compared to my coworkers and as a result I get the dirty work but they get paid more despite us having about equal abilities in the primary work we do.
How about if a woman over 50 is looking for a mate she is a cougar on the prowl or worse she is an over the hill hag no one wants. Date an older woman and you have a gross mommy complex. But a man over 50 is still a great catch who can date a 20 year old if he wants. No one bats an eye.
A man over 50 dating a much younger women certainly does raise eyebrows. Some may congratulate him, but most will laugh at him or call him a perv.
Load More Replies...I'd like to add one. People don't seem to believe you can be young and disabled. Unless there's obvious physical evidence like braces or a wheelchair, they just think you're lazy. Not all young people have boundless energy.
Invisible disabilities are a huge issue. Constantly having to justify yourself gets old fast.
Load More Replies...Some, if not a lot of these stereotypes or double standards are also upheld by the gender it affects. Like how women will sometimes berate other women on their choice in having kids or not, and how men can berate other men for being in touch with their emotions. There's only one way to get rid of these: stand up for your fellow human and break the assumptions!
Definitely! The women harassing childfree women is really true. Or men who spread toxic masculinity to put another example. You cant whine that "men have it rought" if you are the first to call "gay" to a man showing his emotions.
Load More Replies...How about if a woman over 50 is looking for a mate she is a cougar on the prowl or worse she is an over the hill hag no one wants. Date an older woman and you have a gross mommy complex. But a man over 50 is still a great catch who can date a 20 year old if he wants. No one bats an eye.
A man over 50 dating a much younger women certainly does raise eyebrows. Some may congratulate him, but most will laugh at him or call him a perv.
Load More Replies...I'd like to add one. People don't seem to believe you can be young and disabled. Unless there's obvious physical evidence like braces or a wheelchair, they just think you're lazy. Not all young people have boundless energy.
Invisible disabilities are a huge issue. Constantly having to justify yourself gets old fast.
Load More Replies...Some, if not a lot of these stereotypes or double standards are also upheld by the gender it affects. Like how women will sometimes berate other women on their choice in having kids or not, and how men can berate other men for being in touch with their emotions. There's only one way to get rid of these: stand up for your fellow human and break the assumptions!
Definitely! The women harassing childfree women is really true. Or men who spread toxic masculinity to put another example. You cant whine that "men have it rought" if you are the first to call "gay" to a man showing his emotions.
Load More Replies...