This is a classical "problem" in bilingualism. Most children who learn two (or more) languages at once tend to mix them up for some time, but that sorts itself out. If they speak with someone they know are also fluent in the same languages as themselves they may switch mid sentence if the setting is right- This is called "code switching" and is a typical sign of being _truly_ bilingual rather than one who has just learnt the language in school.

I'm a speech language pathologist (from Belgium) and this is very normal in the language development of a child that is raised bilingual. It's not necessary to correct it, just make sure each of you speaks your own language correctly when talking to him. That way he will grow up bilingual without any problems. As to the ignoring your SIL? She deserved that. Your kid probably didn't understand why she ignored him either.

Dude Im 44 i speak 3 languages and understand 4 ( i don't speak Spanish because i don't want to insult Spanish people, but i understand 99% of their vocabuláry ), my English is not perfect, but i think everyone can understand it, and my French is a joke, i forgot most of the vocabuláry, and everytime i try speaking French i end up speaking either Frentuguese, or Frenglish, só give a 4year old kid a break lol, ESPECIALLY if you can barelly speak your own language ( as it apears according to what the OP Said )

Monolingual, potentially xenophobic c**t doesn't understand the mechanics of language acquisition. That's about it. Completely normal, ( dated a monolingual foreigner just once. Never again!) but insanely irritating and often quite humiliating.

This is not only an incredibly shitty way to handle your child, but also just unacceptable. I try to avoid any correction of my nieces or nephew that I know my sisters would handle differently. It is basic respect for the parenting of others. If I think the parenting needs correcting I will discuss that with the parent, not experiment with the child. Absurd!

Please, please do not apologize to this woman.

My mother would have laid this SIL out with one punch if that had been our situation. You don't ignore children because they are talking in the way that you would like. This aunt is an a-hole and the mom was right to treat her that way. If you want to be respected, you have to show respect. This child is four years old and knows two different languages, of course he is going to mix them up on occasion.

This feels like when a young student says, "Can I go to the bathroom?" and the teacher replied, "I don't know, CAN you?": unhelpful and incredibly petty. And before everybody overreacts, relax, I'm a K-to-6 teacher. I don't hold my students' needs to relieve themselves hostage just to teach them a lesson in good grammar. Hell, I'm even thankful they mind their manners and still remember to ask for permission to excuse themselves.

OMG. As a 59 year old woman, I know multiple languages. And I am always making sentences that are a mix of 2 , 3, or, sometimes even 4 of them! Certain concepts can only be expressed in a specific language. . . . This sounds like a situation where the least educated person is saying that her way is better than being more educated! Unfortunately, such a common problem.

Why do so many people who speak only one language try to punish those who speak more? OP you're NTA. Your SIL abused your child and your parents let her. They are AHs. Don't subject your kid to them anymore.

ok I spoke 3 languages as a child, now only fluent in two, my parents both fluent in French and English but all my friends spoke French and Italian. It happened more than a few times but after the first time I said something to my dad in Italian and then realized he didn't understand correct to French. Happens, hell still to this day I will forget a word in English and can only think of the French word, I'm 58. Monolingual people just don't understand it some times.

Maybe it’s something to do with British (actually English) people being quite dismissive of the French in general? And sometimes simply rude

That woman needs a wake up call. The kid is 4 years old. Grow up lady. I would've had to leave so I didn't embarrass her in front of everyone

Ridiculous. She's not a kind person and she totally deserved that. No need to apologise at all. Just less contact from now on. The baby just wanted a drink. I don't likr children but I would learn the language my nephew speaks to be able to understand him better.

I didn't start becoming multi-lingual until my mid-teens and as an adult I still sometimes do what this kid was doing (in a strange twist, though, it's my French and Japanese that cross, not so much my English). This SIL is just being a control-freak imo.

Pretending concern when she is really just being a massive a-hole. OP was right and actually a very fitting way to get back at her. If the SIL was so worried about it, she could have just corrected the sentence like "Oh you want me to get you some water" and then fill the cup. Not make a little kid cry.

A 4 year old knowing 2 languages? I'd be impressed not a b***h! I know 5 year olds who can barely speak and sometimes 6-8 year olds have trouble speaking bc of issues ignoring or correcting aren't gonna fix. (Speech therapy needs, mental health, mental/physical/emotional disabilities, lisps, etc)

I live in a country where 95% speak 3 languages as children, some words don't translate and they switch between the three. Personally, I would never allow her to set foot over the doorstep, if she wants to see her brother, she can go elsewhere

You don't give parenting advise if you don't have children yourself - full stop.

I absolutely LOVE mom’s response to SIL! No better way to teach than by example (which is one way SIL *could* have chosen to do with nephew although there was NO reason for her to do anything but give him the drink he was asking for). Good for mom here! I think it was handled perfectly and SIL OWES the apology, she is not owed one!

As a childminder in the uk who has had lots of children who speak 2+ languages, it's completely normal to mix up the languages sometimes. I only speak English but it's pretty obvious what the child is trying to say most of the time. If I don't understand I ask them ( nicely) to say it again, if I still don't understand I ask them ( nicely) to show me. I can't imagine being an a**e h**e about it. Poor child :0(

SIL ita. Anyone who supports SIL would never see my family again. I would tell them why and then goodbye.

Ignoring a child can cause serious emotional issues. My son is 3 and can’t pronounce some words I know what he means and I will repeat back until he says yes mummy he’s going through the cute using Scottish slang stage as I’m from Glasgow but I do not correct him as he is Scottish.

I wonder of the entitled SIL would stand on her high horse merits if the 4 year old asked for the bathroom? Happy outcome for me would be the little fella taking a giant dump in her loungeroom! 🤣🤣🤣 Oh, NTA

That SIL is being a xenophobic jerk. She probably supported Brexit.

Sweaty, throw the whole auntie out.

Extremely ignorant of the aunt who punished her bilingual nephew. I would never visit her again ever.

You don't torture kids because you're a control freak A*s clown.. He's 4, the British have had a stick up their a**e for 500 years, to what end? Bad teeth and Food.