Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app

Continue in app Continue in browser

11Kviews

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter

ADVERTISEMENT

I think that we can all agree that dogs are the superior pets (don't tell that to our cat overlords, though!). Besides being the cuddliest, most loving animals ever, they also brighten our days with their kooky antics and give us artistic inspiration with their snotty-nose-drawn pieces on house and car windows. Dog-cassos, if you will. Because of these unmistakable dog-ish traits - like cuteness, bizarre tail chases, and unfathomable smarts - pups are also a great material for jokes. So, this is our article dedicated solely to dog jokes, and one thing we can promise - it will brighten up your day tremendously!

In this article, among the plethora of hilarious animal jokes, you might expect to find: corny puns, only the best one-liners, silly wordplays, and cute jokes. So, we're drawing to a conclusion here - the dog jokes are as diverse as the pups themselves, and without any doubt, only the goodest! How else would we talk about man's best friend if not in the words that are of the greatest quality and the most magical entertainment value? After all, dogs do deserve everything that's best, even when talking about silly jokes.

You know exactly what to do here - scroll just a bit further down to reveal our collection of these cute jokes. Some of them will leave you howling with laughter; others might even get added to your own personal collection of the best jokes that you've ever seen. Don't forget to vote for those! Finally, after all that is well and done, share this article with anyone in need of comedic relief!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

18points

#2

"My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum..."

18points

#3

What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A friend you can count on.

16points

View more comments

#4

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Why are Dalmatians not considered good at playing hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.

14points

#5

Our dog brings us the newspaper every day… Funny thing is, we’ve never subscribed to any.

13points

ADVERTISEMENT

#6

"We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet."

12points

#7

What breed of dog can jump higher than a building?
All breeds can, since buildings can’t jump.

12points

#8

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.

11points

ADVERTISEMENT

#9

A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, "You don't see a dog in here drinking a martini very often." The dog says, "At these prices, I'm not surprised."

11points

#10

When my friend’s dog died, I bought an identical one to try to cheer them up... But it just made them more upset. Do you know what my friend said when I gave the dog to them?
“What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?!”

11points

ADVERTISEMENT

#11

"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here’s how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you."

10points

View more comments

#12

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?
Mustard — it’s the best thing for hot dogs.

10points

#13

Why did the dog resign from his job?
The work was too ruff.

10points

#14

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.”

9points

ADVERTISEMENT

#15

What do you call a frozen dog?
A pupsicle.

9points

#16

A Dachshund walks into a telegraph office, picks up a blank form, and writes: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog, "You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another 'Woof' for the same price."
The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. "But that would make no sense at all."

9points

#17

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites.

9points

#18

When you cross a dog with a cougar, what do you get?
A lot of trouble with a postman.

9points

ADVERTISEMENT

#19

What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise?
Flea markets.

9points

#20

What happens when a dog loses its tail?
It goes to a retail store to buy a new one.

9points

#21

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What's the worst part about it raining cats and dogs?
You have to look out for the poodles.

9points

#22

"I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don't chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers."

8points

#23

When you cross an aggressive dog with a computer, what do you get?
A lot of bites.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#24

What do puppies and pages of a book have in common?
They’re both dog-eared.

8points

#25

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do you call a dog that can’t bark?
A hushpuppy.

8points

#26

What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler?
Whatever you want, but do it silently.

8points

#27

What could be worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.

8points

#28

How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

7points

#29

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do you call a cold dog?
A Chilli Dog.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#30

What does my dog and my phone have in common?
They both have collar I.D.

7points

#31

What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.

7points

#32

"My niece was dragged into court by a neighbor who complained about her barking dogs. At one point, the judge asked the neighbor a question. The neighbor didn’t reply. “Sir, are you going to answer me?” The neighbor leaped to his feet. “Are you talking to me?” he asked. “Sorry; I can’t hear a darn thing.” The case was dismissed."

7points

#33

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter "I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won't come when I call him."

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#34

"I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”

7points

#35

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."

7points

#36

"I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named "Fireworks and vacuums" so my dog won’t find them."

7points

#37

As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.
"Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner.
"That's him," comes the reply.
"He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"
"Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#38

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do you get when you cross a dog and a ballpoint pen?
Ink spots.

7points

#39

How do you know if you have a slow dog?
It chases parked cars.

7points

#40

After accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear, what did the dog say to Woody?
"You got a friend in me."

7points

#41

What would you call a dog named Minton who ate two shuttlecocks?
Bad Minton.

7points

#42

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What's a dog's favorite movie?
Jurassic Bark.

7points

#43

What was the dog doing all night?
He was barking all night without any paws.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#44

What's a dog's favourite music album?
The 'Bark Side Of The Dog'.

7points

#45

How do dog catchers get paid?
By the pound.

6points

#46

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do chemists' dogs do with their bones?
They barium.

6points

#47

What kind of dog chases anything red?
A Bulldog.

6points

#48

Did you hear about the dog who couldn't stop talking like a horse?
It was a dog and pony show.

6points

#49

What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-HAS-TROPHY.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#50

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
They get their masters.

6points

#51

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

6points

#52

Just realized a pregnant dog is a dog full of puppies. That’s the best.

6points

#53

“We’re eating dinner soon. Don’t fill up on homework.” — Dog mom

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#54

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

6points

#55

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane’s dog and she was like, “I’ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?”

6points

#56

The dogs next door get a little noisy, so one day somebody called animal control to complain. When the officers arrived, I heard my neighbor tell them, "Hey, dogs bark. It's human nature."

6points

#57

What type of dog is constantly aware of the time?
A watch dog.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#58

Why do dogs tend to run in circles?
Because its really hard to run in squares.

6points

#59

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What could be more incredible than a talking dog?
A spelling bee.

6points

#60

How many hairs are in a dog’s tail?
None. They’re all on the outside.

6points

#61

What did the man name his two watch dogs?
Rolex and Timex.

6points

#62

When you cross a sheepdog with a rose, what do you get?
A collie-flower.

6points

#63

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter When you put oil on a racing dog, what do you get?
Grease Lightning.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#64

What do dogs usually like to eat at the movie theaters?
Pupcorn.

6points

#65

Why did the officer issue a ticket to the dog who gave birth on the side of the road?
Because she was littering.

6points

#66

What did one flea say to the other?
"Should we walk, or just take the dog?"

6points

#67

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny?
All of them are really short.

6points

#68

Why did the family take their dog to the watchmaker?
It had ticks.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#69

What's the similarity between a dog and a tree?
Both have barks.

6points

#70

What's a dog's favorite breakfast dish?
Woof-fle.

6points

#71

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What did the dog say to the other dog?
Let's raise the woof.

6points

#72

What did the dog say to his son?
I woof you.

6points

#73

What did the dog say when he picked up the phone?
"I will collie you later."

6points

#74

Why is the puppy sitting next to the fire?
He wants to become a hot dog when he grows up.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#75

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Why aren't dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.

5points

#76

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
Because they can't bury them in trees.

5points

#77

What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A dusky husky.

5points

#78

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.

5points

#79

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
Bonappetite.

5points

#80

Why did the dog need help on his pros and cons chart?
He was CON-fused.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#81

What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee?
A Greyhound Buzz.

5points

#82

What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
Dingo Starr.

5points

#83

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show.

5points

#84

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.

5points

#85

Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the "barking" lot.

5points

#86

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#87

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

5points

#88

What kind of dog likes taking a bath every day?
A shampoo-dle.

5points

#89

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Which dog breed loves living in New York?
A Yorkie.

5points

#90

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a Boxer.

5points

#91

Why did the two-legged dog to come to an abrupt halt?
It had two paws.

5points

#92

What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog?
"Come on! Join the bark side."

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#93

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade?
Because it was a hot dog.

5points

#94

What do dogs do when they need to take a bathroom break during a movie?
They press the paws button.

5points

#95

When you cross a Rottweiler with a hyena, what do you get?
I’m not sure, but if it begins laughing, I’m going to join in.

5points

#96

Why is a dogs’ barks so loud?
They have built-in sub-woofers.

5points

#97

When you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get?
A cockerpoodledoo!

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#98

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter When you cross a frog with a dog, what do you get?
A croaker spaniel.

5points

#99

How can you get a dog in the back seat to quit barking while you’re driving?
Invite him to sit up front and bark there instead.

5points

#100

Why did the man make pancakes for his dog?
His dog sure didn’t know how.

5points

#101

Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He really wanted to become a woofer.

5points

#102

What do you get when you cross a dog and a lion?
You’re not going to get any mail, that’s for sure.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#103

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter When the dog sat on sandpaper, what did he say?
Ruff! Ruff!

5points

#104

What happens if you connect a corgi to a battery?
You’ll get a short circuit.

5points

#105

What do you call a dog that doesn’t have any legs?
It doesn’t matter! It still won’t come when you call its name.

5points

#106

Whenever I take my dog to the park, the ducks always try to bite him.
I guess it makes sense, since he’s pure bread.

5points

#107

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter Are you wondering what dogs have for breakfast?
They have pooch-ed eggs.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#108

Why did everyone love the doggy storyteller?
He knew how to paws for dramatic effect.

5points

#109

What musical instrument did the dog musician love to play?
A trom-bone.

5points

#110

What would you call a left handed dog boxer?
A south paw.

5points

#111

What would happen if someone crossed a dog with a film studio?
You would find yourself in collie-wood.

5points

#112

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What term do you use to refer to a dog that researches old trees?
Well, you can call him a barkologist.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#113

What would you call a dog from Asgard that owns a mighty hammer?
A Labrathor.

5points

#114

Which dog breed knows how to use the phone?
A dial-matian.

5points

#115

Who is a dog's favorite playwright?
William Shakespaw.

5points

#116

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What's a dog's favorite fashion magazine?
Vanity Fur.

5points

#117

What did the dog say to his wife?
Howl will I ever live without you.

5points

#118

How did the dog apologize?
"Please fur-give me."

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#119

What did the dog say to calm his stressed friend?
"Try to remain paw-sitive."

5points

#120

What did the dog say when he went to the dog park for the second time?
"This place looks fur-miliar."

5points

#121

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What did the dog say to its owner?
I am so fur-tunate to have you in my life.

5points

#122

What did the annoyed dog say to another dog?
"Will you please stop hounding me?"

5points

#123

What did the small dog who was madly in love say to his beloved?
"You are the corg-key of my heart."

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#124

What subject did the dog select as his major in college?
Bark-ology.

5points

#125

Knock Knock!
Wh's there?
Dash.
Dash who?
No, it's called Dashchund!

5points

#126

128 Dog Jokes That Might Make You Howl With Laughter What's a puppy's favorite type of pizza?
A pupperoni pizza.

5points

#127

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
“Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked.
“It sure is,” I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then toward the back of the van. Finally he said, “What'd he do?”

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#128

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ty.
Ty who?
Ty up the dog before he starts chasing away the squirrels again.

4points

Linas Simonaitis

Linas is a SEO List Curator at Bored Panda with a bachelor's degree in Communication & Digital Marketing. Before, he did a quick internship at AMII and worked as a Wolt courier (in other words, before Bored Panda, he never had a real job). After an intense day of Googling and scrolling, he likes to lose himself in League of Legends or make a couple pretzels while practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Never shies away from a deep conversation, never runs out of jokes. Also an owner of 0.0028 Bitcoin.

Linas is a SEO List Curator at Bored Panda with a bachelor's degree in Communication & Digital Marketing. Before, he did a quick internship at AMII and worked as a Wolt courier (in other words, before Bored Panda, he never had a real job). After an intense day of Googling and scrolling, he likes to lose himself in League of Legends or make a couple pretzels while practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Never shies away from a deep conversation, never runs out of jokes. Also an owner of 0.0028 Bitcoin.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

You May Like

‘Ends Humour’: 50 Spot-On Posts That May Leave You Chuckling At The Ridiculousness Of It All (New Pics)

Viktorija Ošikaitė

100 Funny Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust

Saimonas Lukošius

“What Is The Funniest Joke You’ve Been Told That You Still Think About To This Day?” (30 Answers)

Gabija Palšytė

Back to Homepage

More about Funny

Related on Bored Panda

Related on Bored Panda

Trending on Bored Panda

Also on Bored Panda