We are also getting only the perspective of a very frustrated husband. Its possible she was early that one time because of anxiety. People with ADD can also fixate on one thing ( such as an appointment) to the detriment of everything else. I would rule out medical issues before assuming its just a lack of respect.

Not trying to be that stick in the mud. One thing about ADHD/ADD that should be mentioned is that sometimes that is one of the symptoms. Only being mostly on time for one's own interests is fairly common. It comes across as selfish but that's on the surface. It really isn't anything to do with respecting the other person or not. It's not on purpose and definitely does cause issues in relationships that can be detrimental. I am not talking about the wife. She might or might not have it. In her case, it looks strongly like it could be undiagnosed something as well as just not giving a s**t to even make it workable for her son. Frankly, I don't blame him (husband/dad) for wanting a divorce. There are things one can to to manage these issues but he also pointed out that she doesn't see it as a problem so that's why their marriage ended.

That is an incorrect stereotype. The starting vacuuming makes me lean adhd. But she is clearly not recognizing that she has problem. And i am assuming he has talked to her about how it makes him feel and if that didn't make her try to change then adhd or not, perpetually late or not, is not really the reason for the marriage breakdown.

There's good days and bad with adhd, the effort is exhausting and maybe she did try extra hard for the concert, but that level of effort isn't sustainable daily for every meeting and meal, you'd burn out in a week. Unless you personally struggle with it it's unfair to say it's not a disorder and she's just not willing to be on time for her family.

Similar here. I always yell out to Alexa "Remind me at 5:15 to put my shoes on!" "Remind me at 530 to grab my phone and leave"

Exactly! Medical reasons are real and valid. But once you are aware, if you still do nothing to try and remedy the issue when you know it negatively affects others you're still an AH. Medical issues are a reason, but not to be a used as excuses.

It's very possible she's unaware she even has adhd, it's not something people know a lot about unless directly affected. I was diagnosed at 15 but I know many adults in their 30's and 40's just now being diagnosed. The angry response could be frustration or even anxiety. She needs an assessment. Her husband never mentions adhd so I doubt either of them has considered it. I also set alarms and leave notes and I'm a single mom of 3, the oldest also has adhd. It's completely overwhelming sometimes and I'm sure I appear selfish and thoughtless to others sometimes to because I'm trying to run damage control in my own life most if the time and there's no mental/emotional energy left to focus on others who are not my children. Do you have children like her? Or people who use your energy so you feel depleted? If you only need to take care of yourself it's definitely easier to manage the disorder.

She may have undiagnosed ADHD.

You're incorrect. That's actually an indication of having ADHD. Preferred activities take precedence over NON-preferred activities. It's why a teen with ADHD can read and concentrate on a novel they're interested in from cover to cover and even have it memorized, but cannot get thru their 1 measly hour of daily homework.

So that just means that your ADHD affects you differently than somebody else's does.

You do understand it presents differently in each person and has varying levels of severity Right? Silly to say because you find something easier than someone else that they just aren't putting in the effort. You still have a lot to learn about adhd...and compassion apparently.

Yes, exactly this. My untreated misunderstood adhd led to a lot of anxiety, depression and unfortunately addiction for many years because I just thought I was a horrible lazy stupid person and why couldn't I just stop being "difficult" it's like I'm not even the same person anymore since getting proper help and for me medication.

Good for you but you're not everybody. Adhd presents differently and at different levels of severity so it's not really fair to say because you can manage it nobody else should struggle with it and it's just excuses from them. It's like saying to someone who lost a child to leukemia, "well my child recovered from the same thing so yours should have too, did you not listen to the doctor? Could your child have tried harder to be healthy?" It's the same and it's very different for each of us.

Yes, Scary thing, it's instilled in childhood 😊 respect others.

I too have ADHD and I am LATE FOR EVERYTHING. (Not to the extent as the lady in the story above). I was also raised that being on time was important. Which really only meant that I spent much of my childhood grounded or in trouble for lateness. See nobody knew I had ADHD because I was a girl and didn't have the hyperactivity part of the disorder. I was not officially diagnosed until well into adulthood. Anyway I am ALWAYS "RUNNING LATE." I don't want to run late, but I'm chronically "in a hurry" and nothing seems to help. I've never created a disaster for my family, but it's stressful and everything is barely on time, without a minute to spare. Showing up at work exactly when I'm supposed to clock in or even minute late and with wet hair. It's like I have a time passage awareness disorder and even getting up a half hour early doesn't solve it.

ADHD is not a learning disorder but can cause problems with learning.