30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives

Marriage is hard work; even the happiest couples face bumps along the way.

For those who ultimately decide that splitting up is the healthier alternative, the realization can come in a variety of ways. For some, it's a lightbulb moment when everything clicks in a second, while others need to think over the decision for much longer.

So when Redditor u/Slayer_of_Gingers asked men, "What moment with your former wife made me think 'Yup, I'm asking this girl to divorce me?'" they got plenty of different answers, providing interesting insights into navigating a romantic relationship.

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives Me and my ex were always having ups and downs. Cutting up my clothes when I was out with friends, cutting my hair when I was asleep, random violence and screaming fits... the usual...

We did the normal things couples were supposed to do and it seemed to prolong the episode for a time.

We bought a house for example.

Well, after we had the house the next thing we needed was a cat.

She loved it very much when it was a kitten but as it grew up it became more independent (it's a cat duh!) and she couldn't take this and became aggressive towards it.

I remember walking in one day and she picked up the cat and threw it up in the air, it bounced off of the ceiling and then I threw her a*s out of the house bouncing her sh*t of the curb.

I still have the cat.

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630points

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives Her: "I can't live in this house anymore. It's not in a major city."

Me: "We're less than an hour away from one. Also, I inherited this house. It costs me nothing but upkeep. Also, I pay every bill. You work 6 hours a week and have 1 class. Where do you get off demanding anything?"

Her: "Buy me a new house or we're done."

Me: "Get the f*ck out of my house."

NightEmber79 , pexels Report

Final score:

488points

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives She had lost her job, again, after quitting a decent one because she didn't get along with her boss. Anyways, a few months go by and I'm doing everything. Cooking, laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. I'd ask the kids what does mom do all day and they said she plays on the computer all day. So the final straw came when i came home from work and had to wash dishes so i could make dinner. Dinner is made so i tell family it's ready. She comes to get a plate and serves herself first instead of our youngest child who was four at the time and couldn't serve himself. As i watched this unfold it dawned on me. If I'm going to do all the work i might as well do it by myself or find a partner to share the load with because she clearly didn't want to be on my team.

PsychoticMessiah , pexels Report

Final score:

456points

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When the cops showed up and arrested me while I was washing dishes. Found out after being taken to the station that she had claimed that I had been beating on her and my five year old son. Was acquitted in court a month or so later. The situation was so messed up that the cops actually testified on my behalf.

lesters_sock_puppet , pexels Report

Final score:

418points

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives I was on deployment and she yelled at me for interrupting her family's celebration when I called on Christmas.

mwr885 , pexels Report

Final score:

416points

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When she said, "You didn't pray hard enough and that's why our son has cancer. That's why I'm sleeping with my prayer partner."

CarterLawler , pexels Report

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404points

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We were already not speaking.

It was Thanksgiving. I knew she wasn't going to bother, but I made a turkey and whatever goes with turkey for my then eight year old daughter.

I had the turkey out on the counter to rest after roasting.

My beloved bride walked in, calmly threw the turkey in the kitchen trash can, and walked out.

I had to take my kid to f*cking golden corral for Thanksgiving.

That was it. I was done.

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Final score:

391points

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She said these words, "You need to take a shower before you get into bed, you've been playing basketball with all those black guys."

She was always mean to waitresses, flight attendants, maids, thinking she was better than them. Now black people? F*ck that. Im out.

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Final score:

390points

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Walking On Sunshine 2 years ago

Racist Karen. Good on you b

129points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

I'm annoyed by it because one of my best friends is named Karen. She's very far from the term it now means.

16points

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Cold Contagious 2 years ago

I'm don't care for the terminology because my aunt is named Karen and she is a beautiful woman who loves her family and has worked in customer service at JC Penny's for years as a associate and then as a supervisor until she retired. I'm sure she had put up with the most unlikable characters over the years, making a lot of her days grueling and hellish, with which she carried on with a smile and aching feet to go home and take care of her large family with no complaints ever. She also made the most scrumptious homemade birthday cakes for everyone she knew (myself included) and unlimited kinds of holiday candies and cookies. She's one of the most amazing people I know and it's just a little sad to me that her name is sometimes used in such a ugly manner to describe such ugly people.

12points

Stephanie Keith 2 years ago

Walking on sunshine is rude and clearly doesn't know how to conversate with others. You're right, that word shouldn't be used.

3points

Walking On Sunshine 2 years ago

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JennaMae 2 years ago

She may be a racist he was an idiot for not realizing who she was sooner

1point

Dorothy Parker 2 years ago

The shower should have been the norm. Her racism wasn't.

48points

E Menendez 2 years ago

Yes. I always make my husband shower after he plays sports or martial arts because he gets nasty and sweaty. But for her she was just a racist b

11points

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jammer 2 years ago

Yes yes, good on you, but dude, no matter who you play basketball with, get a damn shower before going to bed!

29points

Narwhal Blast 2 years ago

I just came here to say the same! You need to take a shower after playing basketball. With or without dudes. You're probably sweaty...

6points

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Oopsydaisy 2 years ago

How could you have missed that before you got married?

19points

LadyDelynn 2 years ago

There is nothing wrong with the statement "You need to take a shower before you get into bed, you've been playing basketball". That's just a given BUT when she tacked on those last two words she showed her 'true colors'.

13points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

Wait, she wasn't like that when you were dating or were you wearing blinkers?

12points

Paula Marowsky 2 years ago

Wait! You were going to bed without taking a shower after playing basketball??? Please, don't do that!

7points

Gerard Neaux 2 years ago

It's disgusting.

1point

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K Witmer 2 years ago

Always watch how people treat service workers you will get a direct insight to who they are very quickly. If they treat them rudely being racist isn't a far stretch.

3points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

Yes you should shower before bed if you've been doing something physical like that. For people who ask why he didn't see that side of her before they got married, I've known people who didn't show their real sides till they felt secure enough to do so. Regardless of what their real side is.

3points

BusLady 2 years ago

Newsflash: I'm sure she thought she was better than you as well. Maybe everyone else on earth.

2points

Telmo Belo 2 years ago

Regardless of your teammates, you really should shower after basketball...

2points

Tiny Dancer 2 years ago

Again, all the signs were there. I will not tolerate people being crappy to service people (waiters, maids, store clerks, whatever). Maybe it's because I've been in the service industry, but it's a massive red flag if your partner's being mean to everyone but you.

2points

V Meow 2 years ago

Although I may appreciate my guy getting a shower after playing basketball...P.U., LOL, I'm not sure what it has to do with who he played it with....HER kind of stink doesn't wash off.

2points

Eb 2 years ago

Racism aside, if he was going to bed with her after sport without showering, that must have been pretty unpleasant for her.

2points

Jus 2 years ago

Racism is awful and she was a b***. But. You should take a shower before going to bed, just because you are going to bed. Eapecially with someone. No one wants smelly bed and private parts infection because you didn't shower!

2points

Al Kenny 2 years ago

Yeah the being mean to the "staff" was the flashing red light and the added racism was just sprinkles on the frosting on the cake. Entitled bitch who'd not be able to perform any of the jobs she despised.

2points

Dre Mosley 2 years ago

If she's always been this mean, stuck up person who thinks she's better than others, why even put a ring on her finger? Why wife that up?

2points

Nahkaparturi X 2 years ago

The blatant racism aside, she could've just said "You need to take a shower before you get into bed, you've been playing basketball", and been totally correct.

1point

Šimon Špaček 2 years ago

I agree that you should take a shower before bed, especially if you are sweaty from sports. But being mean to waitress? No, that is a deal breaker for me. I used to be on that side of the counter too.

1point

Ray Martin 2 years ago

I'm not defending the clearly obvious bigotry here, but who wouldn't shower after playing basketball?

1point

Id row 2 years ago

If she was always mean to people, why did you marry her in the first place?

1point

Tom Spade 2 years ago

That bitch would hate me. I have enough black and brown in my life to qualify us all as a box of "Specialty Crayons" lol. As far as sweaty, I throw them each a towel after each gig. At 1am, we all smell the same...

1point

Deborah B 2 years ago

You know, if the sentence had ended with "playing basketball" it would have made sense. No one likes sweaty BO in bed.

1point

Whoopdeedoo 5 months ago

You should have left the first time she disrespected a waiter

0points

Evelien Stijger Martens 5 months ago

After playong basketball you should shower, but black people are not contageous or anything of that matter, omg.

0points

J 5 months ago

Racist b!7ch. You should shower after doing physical activity because of the sweat but there at far better ways of saying it 😡

0points

Annie Bennett 5 months ago

I could understand take a shower but not because you played with black men. or be mean to the blue collar crowd. You did the right thing.

0points

Janice Parks 2 years ago

You didn’t know she was this kind of idiot before you married her?

0points

Miso 2 years ago

Why'd you get married in the first place?

0points

Anett Szondra 2 years ago

And you only realised how rude she is to waiters after the wedding?

0points

JennaMae 2 years ago (edited)

None of those were indicators (sarcasm)... Seriously did these people think about WHO the person they are marrying really are? They dont just get less assish over time.....

0points

Elsie 2 years ago

Yeah no sympathy on not taking a shower but if she said the black people part. She does have too much hate in her heart

0points

Marcos Dias 2 years ago

Ok, you MUST take a shower after playing basketball, but not because you're playing with black people, but because you'll sweat.

0points

Bob Standen 2 years ago

Should tell her you cheated on her with black prostitutes on a regular bases.

0points

Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago

Why did you marry a woman mean to staff?

0points

Kurtis Wethington 2 years ago

[insert They had in the first half meme] It *starts* like an ordinary issue about showering, but clearly it's NOT the activity, itself, it's the *race* of people doing the activity. In other words, she'd be fine if he working up a sweat with *white* guys.

0points

Nadine 2 years ago

And you didn't realize this before you married her?

0points

I I 2 years ago

dang waitress thing should have been your first clue of what was coming

0points

Roxy Eastland 2 years ago

How come you married someone like that?

0points

Doug 2 years ago

No way that was the first time he realized she was racist.

0points

Brandy Grote 2 years ago

Judge a person not by how they treat superiors, but those who serve...

0points

Patricia Wiseman 2 years ago

Hope y'all didn't have kids!

0points

Aylwyn 2 years ago

Throw a party with the black guys,waitresses while blasting rap and hip hop and watch Karen fake breakdown while calling the cops

0points

Helenium 2 years ago

well i mean he could be sweaty from sports but for the reason she gave lol what a well i cant say cause im at work lol

-3points

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30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives Besides the narcissism, random violence and violent outbursts, it was her strange punishments. Her last one doomed her. My crime? I forgot milk on the way home from work so she didn't talk to me, not one word, for a week. PURE BLISS, for a week. When she asked if I was ready to apologize I handed her the divorce papers. "Why?" "Because you rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship."

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#10

I always refused to raise my voice during arguments, which usually made her crazier and scream louder. After one such argument, during which our 3 year old daughter was playing upstairs, she started coming down at the same time her mother was storming up the stairs like a child of comparable age. Our daughter was in the way and her mother got in her face and screamed "GOD, I F*CKING HATE YOU, MOVE!"

Of course, my daughter came to me, hurt. That was the moment I decided it was over.

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#11

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my "inappropriate conduct" around our kids.

Thank God he saw right through that bullsh*t immediately and told her to knock it off.

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Final score:

339points

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#12

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When I came to the sad realization that we were just good roommates and had been like that for years.

We have been divorced for almost 10 years and she is one of my favorite people in the world, we just weren't supposed to be married.

ballplayer0025 , pexels Report

Final score:

315points

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#13

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls' night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can't). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff's notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.

yourbrotherrex , unsplash Report

Final score:

307points

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#14

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives My wife was around less & less...had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time.....just tell her I'm working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn't mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask "what's her excuse this time?" That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.

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Final score:

304points

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#15

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives I used to love to do chores for her because she loved being taken care of. When she stopped noticing, it started hurting. Then one day I made a bench for our entryway out of barnwood. Took about 40 hours of work. She walked in the house after work that day and sat her purse on it and proceeded to start the fight where she told me that she was mad she got married to me. She stormed out of the house grabbing her purse. Never noticed the bench was there. I knew then but I think she already knew.

pcade11 , flickr Report

Final score:

291points

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#16

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives We met and spent the first seven years of our married life on the West Coast, then moved East. Five years later, I took a job back on the West Coast, but it was the middle of the school year, so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me.

Things hadn't been very good between us for a while, but I hadn't articulated it to her—or even myself—beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction.

One weekend, out there on my own, I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns, a town in which I had lived long before I knew her, a town we had visited often while married. It was late afternoon was about to head back to my hotel when I realized that I could visit a particular beach that had special meaning to me from my earlier life there.

I stopped at a convenience store, grabbed a Grolsch like I used to drink on that beach, and drove out there. Hiked out to a specific spot I remembered, sat down, popped the beer, and looked out over the ocean. And it hit me that I hadn't done that in over 20 years. Whenever we'd visit the area, I'd suggest stopping at the beach, but she wasn't interested and would always veto the idea.

I'm sure reading this it seems like the tiniest thing, but it was the catalyst for me realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship. I think from the time I sat down, I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes. Just sitting there, sipping my beer, looking at the ocean.

synchronicityii , pexels Report

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286points

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#17

When my 2 year old was learning to talk he would consistently say another blokes name. Apparently he was there the moment i left for work till when i got home. Single Dad for 5 years with primary custody now.

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#18

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When I, as the only earner in the house, was denied buying a new pair of work boots- in december- because she needed the money to "buy vaccines for the puppies".

She bred dogs as a hobby, I was a framing carpenter in Ohio. My current work boots were toast- holes in both, no soles. I needed them. Her "puppy vaccine" story was bullsh*t- her hobby was dogs, but she was a pro at popping pills. Thats what she needed the money for.

I was done with her by March.

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Final score:

283points

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#19

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When we went on a family vacation and I hoped she'd sleep the entire time so I could have fun with our son.

wiskrbiskt , unsplash Report

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278points

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#20

Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife's Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).

Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.

Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked "did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?"

At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.

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#21

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn't. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I'm happily divorced.

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266points

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#22

I endured a physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive relationship for over six years with my first wife, four of which we were married. There were many, many instances that should have caused our marriage's demise.

The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, though, was eight days after I had major oral surgery. Due to a freak medical occurrence, I had to have 28 teeth cut out and two holes drilled into my sinus cavities from top of the back of my gums.

She and I were in a grocery store parking lot, and I asked her not to start an argument in the store because it's a small town and I was so tired of being 'those people'. Her reaction was to backhand me in the mouth. Six times.

Or at least I counted six times because I'm pretty damn sure I lost consciousness. I just remember waking up when we were pulling into our driveway while she's freaking out because my face is against the window and blood is coming from my mouth like a fountain.

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#23

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When she decided our dog was annoying her and sold him on Craigslist (which she then used the money to buy herself a non refundable purse) instead of making any mention of her feelings so we could come up with a solution.

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#24

We flew across the country for her sister's wedding. She didn't say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, "None of my family knows you're here--I told them I came alone." She walked out of the airport and left me there.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios.

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235points

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#25

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.

The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a "You should leave this relationship" look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn't making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.

I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end --- not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.

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Final score:

229points

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#26

When a friend's wife said to me "You know your wife is sleeping with my husband."

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#27

When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex's was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall - I was out, with the kids.

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#28

30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives When she staged a robbery of our house so she could pawn all of my sh*t for drug money.

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#29

My wife at the time told me that she had called a local radio station which often discusses hardships that military families go through and sometimes gives away $1,000 to a family in need of help. She said that she informed the radio station of my deployment and how I didn't come back the same, and she told them about our daughter (2 months premature and only 8 months old at the time) who had numerous health problems. My wife explained to me that the radio station hadn't given away the $1,000 in quite a few weeks so they were going to give us $10,000 for her telling such a heartfelt story. She called me while I was at work to tell me what had happened and I was really excited...asked my SNCOIC to help me draw up a savings plan and figure out which debts should be paid off first, etc. Things were looking up.

I get home that night and rather than being greeting with an enthusiastic hug, she points to the loft and mouths "not now, I'm on the phone." so I go upstairs and wait for her to finish. While I was waiting I could hear her saying things like "yeah I can get those papers to you" and "no problem, I can have that ready by tomorrow." Hmm. Maybe they need identification and proof of my deployment or something, whatever.

Fast forward to later that night and like usual I'm having trouble sleeping. I decide to get on the computer and listen to the podcast from the radio show. After a few searches I find it and start listening to it. This is where my blood starts to boil. She told the DJs that she was a single lady living on her own and that her sister married a Marine and they had a child named Marie (our daughter's middle name). She goes on to say that Marie is now in her custody after the Marine husband (me, sort of) was killed in Afghanistan and the mother (her IRL single sister with no kidsv Jacqui) was killed in a car wreck and Marie was now my wife's responsibility.

Hundreds of people called in and offered to help, many of which owned business and wanted to offer things like baby supplies or completely furnishing a nursery for her. Literally thousands of people had heard this bullsh*t fabricated story, including some of my coworkers. It was the radio station she was on the phone with and they were asking her to provide death certificates and a birth certificate for Marie, which is why I was shoo'd away.

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201points

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#30

I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has f*cked me up pretty good.

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Final score:

197points

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Note: this post originally had 91 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

Sweet criminy crickets. Reading these just makes me so much more grateful and appreciative of my wife and that she is so sweet,kind and understanding. I dont think I could find anyone better to be with and I'm so lucky because I got to marry my bestest friend. I love you baby.

50points

Mary Bank 2 years ago

Reading these... yikes. I know I lucked out marrying my best friend but gonna make more of an effort to make sure HE KNOWS that I know how lucky I am. O_O

24points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

Aaaaw Chucky, you're such a sweetheart!

5points

Eagle Girl 2 years ago

Chucky & Mary, I think you summed up what's not being said in this thread. While I'm sure all the situations are horrible, it takes 2 to have, or not have, a relationship. Some of these stories made me cringe as my X was a bi-polar covert narcissist. Tried to be there to support him, only to find out he was cheating with an X & telling everyone I was crazy. It wasn't until multiple friends experienced his "break" & reached out to share their experiences & the stories he'd been weaving about me. 3 sides to every story as they say

4points

Scout Finch 2 years ago

I love you more 🥰😘😘

2points

Patti Vance 2 years ago

reading these made me relive the reasons why i left my husband of 32 yrs. doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman - sometimes the person you thought you knew was only the person that was being presented for their own agenda. what amazed me is that sometimes that person can keep up the charade for decades until they just feel like they can let it go because of the attitude of 'well, where are you going to go?'. i am disabled and even my friends thought i was crazy to live on my own again. so far, doing great! he, on the other hand, entered into a relationship immediately with someone who cheated on him as well as other things. the difference between me and her is that she is the kind that will not say no to anything, preferring to live with material comfort rather than autonomy.

25points

Tiny Dancer 2 years ago

Patti, I hope you have an extremely awesome 2022 just to spite him! It's your turn to shine, hon.

14points

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Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago (edited)

This is so infuriating to read. Yes, my parents stayed together for 44 years. But more than some of those years were pretty awful because of a health condition my Mom had and the only medications available to keep her alive made her volatile and cruel. There were times I wished they would divorce and I could live with my Dad. Finally, when there were different medications and she got switched, she became a different person. She was wonderful for the rest of her life. She once said that back then she thought everyone else was wrong and she was right when really it was the other way around. Both me and my Dad forgave. It was the meds. She was on ephedrine pills (used to be taken by folks to stay awake during long drives. Now illegal) Amesec pills (contained amphetamines) and isuprel spray. Pure uppers. She went through withdrawal. Those years were horrible. I dont know how or why at the time, we stayed.

18points

Rijkærd 2 years ago

Your Dad is amazing for seeung through the effects of the medication and her actual personality..Glad your mom got better..

8points

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DDmaybeandor 2 years ago

Maybe your dad knew who she really was. He probably remembered her before the meds. I’m sorry you all went through that. It’s miserable not being able to relax in your own home, or to feel attacked all the time.

7points

Linda Lee 2 years ago

Ephedrine. That was the main ingredient in weight loss pills in the early 80's. My mother was taking them. She developed an explosive anger disorder. We went to pick up my new glasses and she screamed at the front desk person saying she already paid for them. (She didn't.) The eye doctor came out and asked her to leave or he would have to call the police. I took off my new glasses and handed them to the eye doctor. He bent down in front of me and said something kind, he let me keep the glasses. My mother literally dragged me out to the car, swearing the whole way. I was so embarrassed.

4points

Lovin' Life 2 years ago (edited)

These made me extremely angry! Just as with men, women can be toxic and abusive. The best move I ever made was leaving my husband before he killed my. I left after he held me down in the kitchen floor and put a gun in my mouth. My 3 kids were there watching. That was the last straw for me. If you're in an abusive relationship, get out! Please get out! It may be hard to start over, but it is totally worth it!

13points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

WHAT did I just read Lovin'Life???? OMG, I'm so shocked. And your children watching.... You had the strength, the guts to leave. Bless you.

7points

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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Hubby and I had a long separation (8 months) and worked it out, and now I realize why. Turns out we had issues, but a$$hole-level selfishness wasn't one of 'em.

10points

Dodo 2 years ago

Glad to see there's less misandry in the comments here. On Facebook, it just seems to be 'women have it worse, get over it'.

9points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

I hate that too.

3points

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Mark Fuller 2 years ago

Nice to see a BP post that balances the debate a bit. A disproportionate number are about how awful men are so for once, it's being called out that we're not all misogynistic bastards and occasionally find ourselves on the receiving end of truly awful behaviour from women.

8points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

I thought exactly the same. BP should do this more often. Happy and Healthy 2022 Mark.

4points

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InfectedVoice 2 years ago

Disgraceful, I'm so glad I found mine, met in 1997 and love her more every day, and I make sure she knows it, I can be pretty annoying at times I'm sure but that's part of it, I know she can annoy the s**t out of me sometimes.

6points

Just saying 2 years ago

Do people just not talk to each other before they get married?

5points

Seabeast 2 years ago

Sometimes people can hide their true nature and put their best foot forward until the wedding is over, but I suspect that a lot of these marriages started with physical attraction and not much talking.

3points

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Joanie 2 years ago

My son was on dialysis and waiting for a kidney transplant. We got the call on a Wednesday afternoon that a life saving kidney that matched had been found! We rushed to the hospital and he was prepped for surgery. My husband was pissed off because it was on a Wednesday night and he was going to miss watching Survivor. That's hard for me to live with.

4points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Your husband should be the one with messed up kidneys. That's so evil.

1point

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April Stephens 2 years ago

For all breakup stories, I would be interested to be a fly on the wall and get the other person's side of the story. What could they have been thinking!

3points

ZAPanda 2 years ago

I saw so much here that I've been through already I'm really feeling angry again about what I had to put up with, and frankly the asshattery that I subjected some unfortunate persons to. So yeah. I think relationships are horrible and hope I never have another one. Sorry for the negative post. Some of us haven't had a great fun time with this stuff.

3points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

ZAPanda, I'm sending you a big fat juicy HUG.

1point

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John Montgomery 2 years ago

This makes me miss my late wife even more. It also makes me a bit nervous to try and find someone else so I won't be alone.

2points

Elsie 2 years ago

Some of these stories seem so fake or petty

2points

Seabeast 2 years ago

This is why you shouldn't get married on the basis of physical attraction alone.

2points

Jo Choto 2 years ago

Abusive relationships come in all shapes and sizes. I hope that whatever else happens in your life, you never allow a child of yours to be subjected to abuse or neglect, and that this is grounds for ending a relationship without further ado.

1point

El muerto 2 years ago

goes to show the all teams got asshole, and all teams get their share of suffering them...but probably this will no bee seen by many in BP. mens angle, don't bring the likes

1point

DDmaybeandor 2 years ago

But I’m glad the article is here. I’m glad they are trying for equality. It’s important men’s issues are addressed. Everyone should love men for who they are, not hurt or take advantage of them, and be emotionally supportive, let them cry. Accept them for who they are. This is the world I want to live in.

5points

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Laura Smith 5 months ago

And just to reassure you wonderful men who obviously understand respect, partnership, kindness, family, you know-some of the important things… there are good women out here. Don’t let that awfully rotten apple ruin your taste for fruit.

0points

wee beastie 5 months ago

Reading these and despite not being like those women - still single. Being decent and kind apparently doesn't go in line with what men need 😉

0points

wee beastie 5 months ago

Reading this and realising that despite not being as these women are I am still single and was cheated on.

0points

Flo 5 months ago

Man, s**t like this makes me even more glad I'm single. Why tf you let them treat you so bad for such a long time? I'll never understand and quite frankly, I don't want to. Just learn to know your value and have no one f**k you over like that.

0points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Not only were they evil, but some of them were completely stupid. I'm glad these men ran away.

0points

Summer Mason 2 years ago

Im so sorry any of these men had to deal with that amount of abuse.. if its not okay with women its not okay with men.. period.. or an gender. Being abused is not okay. Leave right away. Your life and sometimes if you have children with this person. You and your children's life's are more important. Leave. Make a plan and go. No one needs to be abused. Both me and my husband went through heavily abusive partners. We stayed scared to lose our kids. I didn't when I left but he did. He gained full custody of his boys but not his girl. I gained full custody or my girl back after battling 6 months in court and not seeing her. Never give up. It's worth it. After we are done in court for the last hearing my case we are getting his daughter back. Breath. You got this. All of you got this.

0points

Katinka Min 2 years ago

Some terrible stories, but It's good that we see these stories from men, too. While about 80% of the victims of abusive relatiosnships are women, there are about 20% men and they often do not get any help. they are not even taken seriously, because they are 'so much stronger' blablabla. I've always said that emancipation means BOTH genders will profit and I am happy to finally see this kind of change.

0points

Jan Uberhauser 2 years ago

Borderline personality disorder is tough to life through, and with. These people must have had some crazy childhoods, don't judge.

0points

Glirpy 2 years ago

What’s bad about this is we only get one side of the story and that side may not be the truth.

0points

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago

The other side of the story would come from the domestic abuser.

1point

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Marnie 2 years ago

This is so heartbreaking....But I'm glad the end of the story for all of these men was getting out!

0points

Glen MacLeod 2 years ago

I'm older than most of the readers here (over 60) and I've been disgusted by the feminist complaint of "toxic masculinity." I have seen men abused and suffer much at the hands of the "woman they love." My father took verbal abuse from my mother for over thirty years. He finally divorced her and had some peace in his last years. Women can be just as toxic as men and mental illness is rarely the cause. It's usually pure selfishness. If any one here is in an abusive relationship ( they control your social life, isolate you from friends and family, threaten your children or pets, deny you financial freedoms) do what ever you have to do to get away from the physical or mental abuse

0points

Ozacoter 2 years ago

Toxic masculinity has nothing to do with women being abusive or not. Its the sexist societal rules that tell men how they need to be in order to be "real men". So toxic masculinity is one of the biggest causes of men being abused since it tells them to "man up" not show their feelings and that they are "weak/femenine" if they say that they are abused.

7points

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Potato 2 years ago

Toxic masculinity is a real thing, but it's probably not what you think it is. Toxic masculinity = telling men they aren't allowed to show emotion, that they must look like a Marvel superhero, that they aren't allowed to enjoy fruity drinks because it's "for girls." It is harmful to men.

5points

Seabeast 2 years ago

Toxic masculinity is where men are raised to swallow all their feelings except anger. It has nothing to do with feminism, it hurts men as much as it hurts their partners and children.

4points

Random Anon 2 years ago

Holy sweet mother of God... These are absolutely horrible people nevermind horrible spouses. I mean dayum, if hell is real they be sharing a cellblock with serial killers.

-1point

Jan Uberhauser 2 years ago

Borderline personality disorder is tough to live through and with. Their childhoods must have been tough, don't judge!

-1point

Alicia Gee 2 years ago

What about the other side of these stories? I feel gross reading it.

-1point

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago (edited)

You mean the sides of the stories from the domestic abusers?

3points

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kerry linda 2 years ago

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-2points

Paul Richards 2 years ago

Every single problem was caused by the woman

-2points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Yes, because that's the point, husbands describe what has happened that made them divorce and most husbands are married to wives who are in fact women.

0points

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just another drone 2 years ago

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Ozacoter 2 years ago

Thats called victim blaming. Its like telling you "I cant believe rhat you are poor, just find a good paid job" or any variation of that crap

3points

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PurpleDoople 2 years ago

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Francc 2 years ago

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PurpleDoople 2 years ago

Misandrists. Feminists are the ones that want equality. Some women suck. Some men suck. The ones that want equality should never be the scapegoats.

15points

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Bruce Leibee 2 years ago

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POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

50points

Mary Bank 2 years ago

Reading these... yikes. I know I lucked out marrying my best friend but gonna make more of an effort to make sure HE KNOWS that I know how lucky I am. O_O

24points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

Aaaaw Chucky, you're such a sweetheart!

5points

Eagle Girl 2 years ago

4points

Scout Finch 2 years ago

I love you more 🥰😘😘

2points

Patti Vance 2 years ago

25points

Tiny Dancer 2 years ago

Patti, I hope you have an extremely awesome 2022 just to spite him! It's your turn to shine, hon.

14points

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Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago (edited)

18points

Rijkærd 2 years ago

Your Dad is amazing for seeung through the effects of the medication and her actual personality..Glad your mom got better..

8points

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DDmaybeandor 2 years ago

7points

Linda Lee 2 years ago

4points

Lovin' Life 2 years ago (edited)

13points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

WHAT did I just read Lovin'Life???? OMG, I'm so shocked. And your children watching.... You had the strength, the guts to leave. Bless you.

7points

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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Hubby and I had a long separation (8 months) and worked it out, and now I realize why. Turns out we had issues, but a$$hole-level selfishness wasn't one of 'em.

10points

Dodo 2 years ago

Glad to see there's less misandry in the comments here. On Facebook, it just seems to be 'women have it worse, get over it'.

9points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

I hate that too.

3points

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Mark Fuller 2 years ago

8points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

I thought exactly the same. BP should do this more often. Happy and Healthy 2022 Mark.

4points

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InfectedVoice 2 years ago

6points

Just saying 2 years ago

Do people just not talk to each other before they get married?

5points

Seabeast 2 years ago

3points

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Joanie 2 years ago

4points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Your husband should be the one with messed up kidneys. That's so evil.

1point

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April Stephens 2 years ago

For all breakup stories, I would be interested to be a fly on the wall and get the other person's side of the story. What could they have been thinking!

3points

ZAPanda 2 years ago

3points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

ZAPanda, I'm sending you a big fat juicy HUG.

1point

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John Montgomery 2 years ago

This makes me miss my late wife even more. It also makes me a bit nervous to try and find someone else so I won't be alone.

2points

Elsie 2 years ago

Some of these stories seem so fake or petty

2points

Seabeast 2 years ago

This is why you shouldn't get married on the basis of physical attraction alone.

2points

Jo Choto 2 years ago

1point

El muerto 2 years ago

goes to show the all teams got asshole, and all teams get their share of suffering them...but probably this will no bee seen by many in BP. mens angle, don't bring the likes

1point

DDmaybeandor 2 years ago

5points

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Laura Smith 5 months ago

0points

wee beastie 5 months ago

Reading these and despite not being like those women - still single. Being decent and kind apparently doesn't go in line with what men need 😉

0points

wee beastie 5 months ago

Reading this and realising that despite not being as these women are I am still single and was cheated on.

0points

Flo 5 months ago

0points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Not only were they evil, but some of them were completely stupid. I'm glad these men ran away.

0points

Summer Mason 2 years ago

0points

Katinka Min 2 years ago

0points

Jan Uberhauser 2 years ago

Borderline personality disorder is tough to life through, and with. These people must have had some crazy childhoods, don't judge.

0points

Glirpy 2 years ago

What’s bad about this is we only get one side of the story and that side may not be the truth.

0points

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago

The other side of the story would come from the domestic abuser.

1point

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Marnie 2 years ago

This is so heartbreaking....But I'm glad the end of the story for all of these men was getting out!

0points

Glen MacLeod 2 years ago

0points

Ozacoter 2 years ago

7points

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Potato 2 years ago

5points

Seabeast 2 years ago

Toxic masculinity is where men are raised to swallow all their feelings except anger. It has nothing to do with feminism, it hurts men as much as it hurts their partners and children.

4points

Random Anon 2 years ago

Holy sweet mother of God... These are absolutely horrible people nevermind horrible spouses. I mean dayum, if hell is real they be sharing a cellblock with serial killers.

-1point

Jan Uberhauser 2 years ago

Borderline personality disorder is tough to live through and with. Their childhoods must have been tough, don't judge!

-1point

Alicia Gee 2 years ago

What about the other side of these stories? I feel gross reading it.

-1point

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago (edited)

You mean the sides of the stories from the domestic abusers?

3points

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kerry linda 2 years ago

-2points

Paul Richards 2 years ago

Every single problem was caused by the woman

-2points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Yes, because that's the point, husbands describe what has happened that made them divorce and most husbands are married to wives who are in fact women.

0points

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