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Wife’s Steamy Affair Exposed After 7 Years Of Marriage, Husband Abandons Wife And 5-Year-Old Kid
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Wife’s Steamy Affair Exposed After 7 Years Of Marriage, Husband Abandons Wife And 5-Year-Old Kid

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Life sure has a twisted sense of humor sometimes. Just when you think you have it all figured out and you’re living the dream, white picket fence and all, life decides to play a weird prank on you. And the prankster? None other than one of your best mate, who suddenly decides it’s time you found out his nasty little secret.

As it turns out, he’s been hooking up with your wife, and not just for a one-time oopsie, but for months. And that adorable daughter of yours? Yeah… she might not even be yours after all. Did we just tune into some Spanish telenovela, or what’s happening here?

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Husband’s friend drunkenly confesses to having a long-term affair with his wife, he decides to leave her and his 5-year-old daughter after finding out she’s not really his

    Image credits: Sai De Silva / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The man has been married to his wife for 7 years and they have been raising a child together, but the man found out the girl isn’t his by taking a paternity test

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    Image credits: master1305 / freepik (not the actual photo)

    The man’s friend invited him out for drinks, but had had a few too many and decided it was time to let his friend in on his little secret, confessing he had an affair with his wife

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    Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)

    The man confronted his wife, who confirmed that what the friend said is true, and asked her for a paternity test

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    Image credits: u/CompetitionDry1261

    The man decided to divorce his wife and doesn’t want to raise his daughter anymore after discovering the kid is actually his friend’s

    The unfortunate protagonist of this story is one Redditor, who we’ll randomly name Mike. Now, Mike thought he was living his dream life, married to his soulmate wife and raising an adorable 5-year-old daughter together. Sounds pretty good, right? Well, not so fast.

    This dream quickly turned into a nightmare when one of Mike’s buddies, we’ll call him Jack, though “Backstabber” might be more fitting—got a little too cozy with a bottle of booze one night. You know how it goes: one drink turns into five, and suddenly everyone’s treating the night like it’s confession hour. And boy, did Jack have a whopper of a confession.

    He just casually dropped that he’d been having a long-term affair with Mike’s wife. But not just a one-time thing, but more like “Oops!…I Did It Again” kind of deal, that went on for a long time, ever since the big “I Do”.

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    Now, anyone in Mike’s shoes would’ve probably lost their marbles right then and there. But Mike? He kept it together—well, kind of. He delivered one well-deserved smack across Jack’s smug face, which, let’s be honest, is probably the least he deserved.

    Then, like a scene straight out of a rom-com gone horribly wrong, Mike stormed out to confront his wife. And, surprise, surprise, she crumbled, spilling the beans and begging for forgiveness. But Mike wasn’t about to play the fool, so he packed his bags faster than you can say “adios” and moved into his parents’ place.

    Before he left, though, he demanded a paternity test—because let’s face it, after this, who wouldn’t be questioning everything?

    If you thought things couldn’t get any worse, think again. The paternity test came back, and—drumroll, please—the little girl Mike’s been raising as his own isn’t actually his, but she’s probably the Backstabber’s kid. Now, every time Mike looks at her, all he can see are the lies, the betrayal, and a whole lot of what-the-heck-just-happened. It’s enough to make anyone want to crawl under a rock and never come out.

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    Image credits: Engin Akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Healing from infidelity is definitely not an easy process, but it can be done. It just takes some time and work. It’s like trying to fix a shattered vase with scotch tape—it’s just not going to happen without some serious blood, sweat, and ugly-crying. First up? Let yourself grieve. That marriage you thought you had? Yeah, it’s as dead as disco.

    Therapy might just be your new best friend in this case. It’s the perfect place to unleash all those messy emotions and start putting your life back together—one tiny, painful piece at a time. And don’t forget your crew! Your friends are there to remind you that you’re still awesome, even when you feel like you’ve been run over by a bus. Healing takes time, and let’s be real, after this level of betrayal, it’s okay to take all the time you need.

    Betrayal cuts deep, leaving pretty nasty scars you’ll be rubbing ointment on for years. But here’s the deal: you have to face the pain head-on, let yourself feel every miserable emotion, and whatever you do, don’t bottle it up like some vintage wine. Surround yourself with folks who get it—people who’ll let you vent, cry, and laugh when you need to.

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    Pro tip: get yourself a journal and start scribbling. Pour all that anger, confusion, and sadness onto those pages—it’s cheaper than therapy. And the secret? You’re going to want to find a way to forgive. Not for their sake, but for yours. Forgiveness is like that magic eraser that’ll help you move on and maybe even smile again someday.

    So, what did Mike do after all this blew up? He hit the eject button on his marriage, packed up, and left. He’s done with the whole messy situation, done with the wife, done with the fatherhood gig that wasn’t even his to begin with. He’s dreaming of a fresh start that isn’t built on lies and betrayal and with a family that’s actually his.

    So, what’s the verdict? Is Mike a cold-hearted villain for wanting to hit the reset button? Or is he justified in wanting to start fresh after getting dealt the worst hand ever? Drop your comments below.

    Netizens are shocked by what happened to the man, urging him to get a lawyer before his wife does

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    Read less »
    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What should the husband do after finding out his daughter isn't biologically his?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    ArchangelLoki
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof. That poor girl. As far as shes concerned he's her dad. The wife sucks, but that poor little girl will be devastated. Its going to stick with her for many years.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will stick with her for the rest of her life. Both parents have to do whatever it takes to minimize the harm to her.

    Load More Replies...
    Pandaodboredem22
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely OP is allowed to be a angry. I just can't imagine that anger overshadowing five years of loving a child and wanting nothing to do with them.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel so sorry for that little girl. Imagine your dad just doesn't want anything to do with you one day and you can't understand why, all of a sudden people are telling you he's not your daddy. What an absolute pos that mother is. She set her husband and her child up for unimaginable heartbreak.

    Load More Replies...
    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA for kicking the cheating wife to the curb. YTA if he actually abandons HIS (yes that's his daughter, he raised her her ENTIRE LIFE SO FAR.) Child. Take some time to heal yes. If you need a bit to recover from the betrayal that's understandable. But if you actually abandon the child you raised, you supposedly LOVE for something that was never in their control.... did you really ever love your daughter? Or did you love the idea of having your own DNA passed on. Does all the laughter, all the joy, all the dreams, her first words, her first steps, her childish "I'm gonna be an astronaut" (or something) mean nothing because of something ultimately irrelevant to all of those memories? If the answer is yes... then maybe it is a good idea for him to abandon her, because she deserves a father who loves her for who she is. Not purely because theres a bit of himself in her.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s widely assumed to be fake over on Reddit. There’s also a disturbing number of verging on sociopathic incels on that thread.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes you are heartless if you abandon your daughter. Be angry, kick out your wife, but you were no kind of father if 5 years mean nothing. POS and AH don't go far enough.

    Aaron Rollo
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    "Abandon YOUR daughter." It's not his daughter. He can still show love if he so choose but he is in no way responsible for this child. Maybe Mom shouldn't have cheated on him.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is really tough. The guy has to think how he will feel in 5 year, 10 years etc. If he will still see his wife's betrayal in that innocent child, he might be better off exiting her life, as that will lead to damage to the poor girl throughout her childhood of subconsciously being blamed for his ex-wife's inability to keep her knickers on. If he could get over it and see the girl he raised for five years as his own, he should try and fight for her, or at least to be part of her life. I don't think I could advise someone to either choice, as it is a really hard thing to deal with. Some people would not be able to cope with one option or the other, which shouldn't be held against them. Either way, any harm to the child should be placed completely at the mother's door, not the man who is also an innocent victim.

    Ivy
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is a really good and nuanced response. Of course, the right answer is to not pass any blame onto the child and to continue to be her father… but as you said realistically not everyone is capable of that. If this guy is going to let his resentment affect the way he treats his daughter then leaving might be in her best interest. Still a s****y thing to do, but it’s better than staying and treating her like c**p because of something her mother did. Ideally he would get therapy to see if he can overcome this for his daughter’s sake before throwing in the towel.

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel for the child in this situation. What an awful mess. Perhaps joint custody? Not sure if that can be a thing but don't abandon a child you have raised.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Joint custody is the norm, at least in the US. The really smart judges leave the kids in the home, and the parents shuttle in and out when it’s possible. Need a pretty high income to make that work.

    Load More Replies...
    Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The nerve of the wife to react that way... after an ongoing affair of years? That turned my stomach. Its sad he feels that way, but no one is aloud to tell him how to react and feel. She made her bed.. and she sh*t in it.

    Super Beast
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Serious question, not related to the article, but to some redditors: Why do some just say this didn't happen? This stuff happens all the time. I don't understand, does anyone understand? (I know there are redditors who post stuff that didn't happen, but this seems like something that happens all the time?)

    Jack Sonol
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty confused about those accusations as well. Sure, maybe this specific story isn't true. But it has definitely happened many times. Why not just think of the many times it has happened, rather than trying to deny reality by just focusing on this one incident that may not be true?

    Load More Replies...
    Secret Squirrel
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP seems confused by the difference between sperm donor and father. The best outcome would be for the child to have nothing to do with him, because if he'd ever lived here at all, abandoning her would be unthinkable.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just the dad and daughter i don't see redemption for cheaters of that kind. The kid needs to be protected from them. That is what i would do if i was the dad.

    Load More Replies...
    C W
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once knew a family - mom, dad, 4 kiddos. Tragedies transpired and it was discovered that 4 of the 4 children were biologically fathered by other men. One of those other men (one of dad's closest friends) stepped forward, claimed the one that was his and did a he'll of a job raising him. One kid went to grandma's house because that was best for her. And the other 2 siblings? The ones who's biological lineage came from dad's cousin? They stayed with their real dad - the one who had raised them since birth and who continued to love them and provide for them. Because that's what real men do. They see that children are humans who need love and care and that children weren't the ones who created the piles of sh*t that you're all seimming around in together. Grow up.

    Midoribird Aoi
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Why doesn't Daddy love me anymore?" Comes to mind, and won't leave it.

    tracy black
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this happened to a friend of mine but because his name was on the birth certificate it didnt matter that the son wasnt his hes still paying child support until the kids is 18

    CBolt
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, in an instant, "blood" won out over 5 years of loving a child? Of course OP is angry & hurt, & what adults do to each other is one thing - be furious & vindictive & as punitive as possible in the divorce, if that makes OP feel good abt himself. But the child is completely innocent in this, is going to lose the only Daddy she's ever known, & her world is going to turn upside down. And there is absolutely no way to "explain" this to her - "Mommy & Daddy are mad at each other & won't be living together any more - so you won't see Daddy any more." "Is Daddy mad at me too?" "No, but you're not really his little girl - he thought you were & he loved you then, but, guess what! You have a new Daddy!" Well, that's a lovely explanation & she'll just roll with it - no biggie! - Unh huh. And OP really doesn't care about how this will affect his former daughter? Yes, the long-term affair is her mother's (& New Daddy's) fault but walking away from this innocent child, & whatever lifelong emotional repercussions there will be for her - that's completely on OP. OP says bio-dad wants to be a father to the child that used to be his & that he used to love - no concerns about whether he'll be a good parent to her? Any worries about how having the kind of mother she has will affect her? Not OP's bio child, no interest in what happens after the moment he walked out the door? (Wonder what Mom thinks abt bio-dad, now that he's thrown a spanner into the works - possibly doesn't want a relationship with him but he's now decided he wants to be a dad so he'll be part of her life forever & she probably blames him for the current mess rather than thinking they're now going to be a happy little family.) FYI, OP, in some states if a couple were together for a certain period of time relative to a child's birth, the man is considered to be the child's legal father, paternity tests notwithstanding, & thousands of men are paying child support for children who aren't biologically theirs. So, it probably is a good idea to "lawyer up," as advised in some other posts, so you don't get "stuck" paying support for a child you no longer care about & who was yours until a piece of paper said she wasn't & the love came to a screeching halt. Afterthought - the little girl may be better off without OP's kind of conditional love.

    Rachel Hendricks
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since the child was born into the marriage he's automatically named the father, he has the paternity test to prove he isn't, but will have to petition to have his name removed from her birth certificate. His anger towards the child is misplaced, he's definitely hurt because for five years of her life she was his daughter, I hope he can move past his own hurt regarding the child, she's 5 she'll adapt, and his role can be more like an uncle, and slowly ease out of her life, while biodad steps up and eased into it. The child did absolutely nothing wrong.

    Mike Rightmire
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone who can just turn off their love and affection for a 5 year old child they raised from birth is not, not the a*****e. Leaving the wife. Fine. Abandoning your daughter (and, yeah, genetics don't a daughter make. She is still your daughter) is pretty serious assholery.

    Terry Rummel
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many men raise children that are not their own. They deserve love as much as biological children. Get shared custody of her but do not abandon her when you've already raised her for five years. Biological father should pay child support. Nothing owed to ex-wife. She deceived you for five years. No excuse for that behavior.

    Jena Withag
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another poorly written piece of fiction. People really should attempt to understand human nature at least a little bit before writing stuff like this. I could poke holes in this all day. But one of the biggest holes is his attitude toward the child. He raised her for five years. For all he knew, she was his. Something like this happens and his instinct is to want nothing to do with her? I mean, possible...but highly unlikely. He'd at the very least be torn. Also, he refers to the kid he raised as "the child." Just doesn't ring true.

    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another one!? There’s been an alarming amount of these lately and the only purpose I can think of is for rage baiting incels. Is this some hidden agenda to enforce mandatory paternity tests along with pregnancy tests in the US or something?

    Jack Sonol
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's entirely possible that this is just ragebait, but is there some kind of problem with preventing paternity fraud?

    Load More Replies...
    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could absolutely throw my wife away - it wasn't a one-off, she was aa long-term cheater. But after a pregnancy and five years, that's my daughter. I would probably have a lawyer negotiate for no spousal or child support, but 50/50 custody. I would also tell her to sue the father for support.

    Sandra Price
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce the wife, separate from your daughter for 3 months. Tell her your working, traveling. Your daughter is 5, she is innocent. Therapy is a must for you. You have every right to be mad, sad. After 3 months, how do you feel ? Do you want to be her 1st dad? Or will you walk away? Is it in you to be around if Bio dad is w/mother ?

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA. That little girl is yours, and rejecting and abandoning her will leave her with trauma that will last her entire life. The nasty punitive divorce will be traumatic enough for a 5 year old. Time to suck it up, grow up, and protect your child.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP, get a lawyer + have him/her demand another paternity test to show a judge the child's not yours. Also find out if you can sue your EX-friend for 5 years of child support. (probably not, but worth a shot.) Block your ex on everything + have your lawyer tell her to communicate thru the lawyer or not at all.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's harsh. Remember the child is innocent in this. If he feels he has to exit her life, he should do it to cause the child the minimum amount of trauma. The mother is a cheating scum bag, but the child is innocent.

    Load More Replies...
    ArchangelLoki
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof. That poor girl. As far as shes concerned he's her dad. The wife sucks, but that poor little girl will be devastated. Its going to stick with her for many years.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will stick with her for the rest of her life. Both parents have to do whatever it takes to minimize the harm to her.

    Load More Replies...
    Pandaodboredem22
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely OP is allowed to be a angry. I just can't imagine that anger overshadowing five years of loving a child and wanting nothing to do with them.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel so sorry for that little girl. Imagine your dad just doesn't want anything to do with you one day and you can't understand why, all of a sudden people are telling you he's not your daddy. What an absolute pos that mother is. She set her husband and her child up for unimaginable heartbreak.

    Load More Replies...
    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA for kicking the cheating wife to the curb. YTA if he actually abandons HIS (yes that's his daughter, he raised her her ENTIRE LIFE SO FAR.) Child. Take some time to heal yes. If you need a bit to recover from the betrayal that's understandable. But if you actually abandon the child you raised, you supposedly LOVE for something that was never in their control.... did you really ever love your daughter? Or did you love the idea of having your own DNA passed on. Does all the laughter, all the joy, all the dreams, her first words, her first steps, her childish "I'm gonna be an astronaut" (or something) mean nothing because of something ultimately irrelevant to all of those memories? If the answer is yes... then maybe it is a good idea for him to abandon her, because she deserves a father who loves her for who she is. Not purely because theres a bit of himself in her.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s widely assumed to be fake over on Reddit. There’s also a disturbing number of verging on sociopathic incels on that thread.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes you are heartless if you abandon your daughter. Be angry, kick out your wife, but you were no kind of father if 5 years mean nothing. POS and AH don't go far enough.

    Aaron Rollo
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    "Abandon YOUR daughter." It's not his daughter. He can still show love if he so choose but he is in no way responsible for this child. Maybe Mom shouldn't have cheated on him.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is really tough. The guy has to think how he will feel in 5 year, 10 years etc. If he will still see his wife's betrayal in that innocent child, he might be better off exiting her life, as that will lead to damage to the poor girl throughout her childhood of subconsciously being blamed for his ex-wife's inability to keep her knickers on. If he could get over it and see the girl he raised for five years as his own, he should try and fight for her, or at least to be part of her life. I don't think I could advise someone to either choice, as it is a really hard thing to deal with. Some people would not be able to cope with one option or the other, which shouldn't be held against them. Either way, any harm to the child should be placed completely at the mother's door, not the man who is also an innocent victim.

    Ivy
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is a really good and nuanced response. Of course, the right answer is to not pass any blame onto the child and to continue to be her father… but as you said realistically not everyone is capable of that. If this guy is going to let his resentment affect the way he treats his daughter then leaving might be in her best interest. Still a s****y thing to do, but it’s better than staying and treating her like c**p because of something her mother did. Ideally he would get therapy to see if he can overcome this for his daughter’s sake before throwing in the towel.

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel for the child in this situation. What an awful mess. Perhaps joint custody? Not sure if that can be a thing but don't abandon a child you have raised.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Joint custody is the norm, at least in the US. The really smart judges leave the kids in the home, and the parents shuttle in and out when it’s possible. Need a pretty high income to make that work.

    Load More Replies...
    Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The nerve of the wife to react that way... after an ongoing affair of years? That turned my stomach. Its sad he feels that way, but no one is aloud to tell him how to react and feel. She made her bed.. and she sh*t in it.

    Super Beast
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Serious question, not related to the article, but to some redditors: Why do some just say this didn't happen? This stuff happens all the time. I don't understand, does anyone understand? (I know there are redditors who post stuff that didn't happen, but this seems like something that happens all the time?)

    Jack Sonol
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty confused about those accusations as well. Sure, maybe this specific story isn't true. But it has definitely happened many times. Why not just think of the many times it has happened, rather than trying to deny reality by just focusing on this one incident that may not be true?

    Load More Replies...
    Secret Squirrel
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP seems confused by the difference between sperm donor and father. The best outcome would be for the child to have nothing to do with him, because if he'd ever lived here at all, abandoning her would be unthinkable.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just the dad and daughter i don't see redemption for cheaters of that kind. The kid needs to be protected from them. That is what i would do if i was the dad.

    Load More Replies...
    C W
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once knew a family - mom, dad, 4 kiddos. Tragedies transpired and it was discovered that 4 of the 4 children were biologically fathered by other men. One of those other men (one of dad's closest friends) stepped forward, claimed the one that was his and did a he'll of a job raising him. One kid went to grandma's house because that was best for her. And the other 2 siblings? The ones who's biological lineage came from dad's cousin? They stayed with their real dad - the one who had raised them since birth and who continued to love them and provide for them. Because that's what real men do. They see that children are humans who need love and care and that children weren't the ones who created the piles of sh*t that you're all seimming around in together. Grow up.

    Midoribird Aoi
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Why doesn't Daddy love me anymore?" Comes to mind, and won't leave it.

    tracy black
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this happened to a friend of mine but because his name was on the birth certificate it didnt matter that the son wasnt his hes still paying child support until the kids is 18

    CBolt
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, in an instant, "blood" won out over 5 years of loving a child? Of course OP is angry & hurt, & what adults do to each other is one thing - be furious & vindictive & as punitive as possible in the divorce, if that makes OP feel good abt himself. But the child is completely innocent in this, is going to lose the only Daddy she's ever known, & her world is going to turn upside down. And there is absolutely no way to "explain" this to her - "Mommy & Daddy are mad at each other & won't be living together any more - so you won't see Daddy any more." "Is Daddy mad at me too?" "No, but you're not really his little girl - he thought you were & he loved you then, but, guess what! You have a new Daddy!" Well, that's a lovely explanation & she'll just roll with it - no biggie! - Unh huh. And OP really doesn't care about how this will affect his former daughter? Yes, the long-term affair is her mother's (& New Daddy's) fault but walking away from this innocent child, & whatever lifelong emotional repercussions there will be for her - that's completely on OP. OP says bio-dad wants to be a father to the child that used to be his & that he used to love - no concerns about whether he'll be a good parent to her? Any worries about how having the kind of mother she has will affect her? Not OP's bio child, no interest in what happens after the moment he walked out the door? (Wonder what Mom thinks abt bio-dad, now that he's thrown a spanner into the works - possibly doesn't want a relationship with him but he's now decided he wants to be a dad so he'll be part of her life forever & she probably blames him for the current mess rather than thinking they're now going to be a happy little family.) FYI, OP, in some states if a couple were together for a certain period of time relative to a child's birth, the man is considered to be the child's legal father, paternity tests notwithstanding, & thousands of men are paying child support for children who aren't biologically theirs. So, it probably is a good idea to "lawyer up," as advised in some other posts, so you don't get "stuck" paying support for a child you no longer care about & who was yours until a piece of paper said she wasn't & the love came to a screeching halt. Afterthought - the little girl may be better off without OP's kind of conditional love.

    Rachel Hendricks
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since the child was born into the marriage he's automatically named the father, he has the paternity test to prove he isn't, but will have to petition to have his name removed from her birth certificate. His anger towards the child is misplaced, he's definitely hurt because for five years of her life she was his daughter, I hope he can move past his own hurt regarding the child, she's 5 she'll adapt, and his role can be more like an uncle, and slowly ease out of her life, while biodad steps up and eased into it. The child did absolutely nothing wrong.

    Mike Rightmire
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone who can just turn off their love and affection for a 5 year old child they raised from birth is not, not the a*****e. Leaving the wife. Fine. Abandoning your daughter (and, yeah, genetics don't a daughter make. She is still your daughter) is pretty serious assholery.

    Terry Rummel
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many men raise children that are not their own. They deserve love as much as biological children. Get shared custody of her but do not abandon her when you've already raised her for five years. Biological father should pay child support. Nothing owed to ex-wife. She deceived you for five years. No excuse for that behavior.

    Jena Withag
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another poorly written piece of fiction. People really should attempt to understand human nature at least a little bit before writing stuff like this. I could poke holes in this all day. But one of the biggest holes is his attitude toward the child. He raised her for five years. For all he knew, she was his. Something like this happens and his instinct is to want nothing to do with her? I mean, possible...but highly unlikely. He'd at the very least be torn. Also, he refers to the kid he raised as "the child." Just doesn't ring true.

    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another one!? There’s been an alarming amount of these lately and the only purpose I can think of is for rage baiting incels. Is this some hidden agenda to enforce mandatory paternity tests along with pregnancy tests in the US or something?

    Jack Sonol
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's entirely possible that this is just ragebait, but is there some kind of problem with preventing paternity fraud?

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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could absolutely throw my wife away - it wasn't a one-off, she was aa long-term cheater. But after a pregnancy and five years, that's my daughter. I would probably have a lawyer negotiate for no spousal or child support, but 50/50 custody. I would also tell her to sue the father for support.

    Sandra Price
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce the wife, separate from your daughter for 3 months. Tell her your working, traveling. Your daughter is 5, she is innocent. Therapy is a must for you. You have every right to be mad, sad. After 3 months, how do you feel ? Do you want to be her 1st dad? Or will you walk away? Is it in you to be around if Bio dad is w/mother ?

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA. That little girl is yours, and rejecting and abandoning her will leave her with trauma that will last her entire life. The nasty punitive divorce will be traumatic enough for a 5 year old. Time to suck it up, grow up, and protect your child.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP, get a lawyer + have him/her demand another paternity test to show a judge the child's not yours. Also find out if you can sue your EX-friend for 5 years of child support. (probably not, but worth a shot.) Block your ex on everything + have your lawyer tell her to communicate thru the lawyer or not at all.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's harsh. Remember the child is innocent in this. If he feels he has to exit her life, he should do it to cause the child the minimum amount of trauma. The mother is a cheating scum bag, but the child is innocent.

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