I just love how the one who wants to keep the kids is barely doing anything at all to parent them and then becomes angry and befuddled when the one who was open and honest about never having kids gets sick of having parenthood foisted onto her is done and wants to leave the situation.

Who the actual F*** tried to attack OP about "marriage vows"? Since when do vows include "Accept all boundary-stomping behaviour and your partner unilaterally deciding to disrespect previously agreed upon decisions"? Also, yeah, of course the guy says "Of COURSE we'll take the kids in!" - he's not doing any of the work or taking on any responsibility. His life isn't changing too much - so he doesn't care. The fact that this is how he's reacting says a whole lot about who this person really married - aka: "I don't actually care about 'us' or the 'you' part of it. Things are only good as long as it's what *my* needs dictate".

Run before the kids get attached. What a sad situation for the kids.

Speaking as a former foster kid, unless you hit the jackpot with getting into a good foster home, it can be hell on earth. In too many cases, the abuse (use your imagination as to what kind, I've endured it all) is worse than what the children experienced with their biological parents. However, this is not always the case. OP is actually looking at the situation realistically: she and her husband absolutely cannot afford to raise one child, let alone three. To attempt to do so would not only force them into debt, but possibly leave the children worse off than if they had gone into foster care. Also, it appears that OP'S husband pretty much made the decision with no regard for OP'S desire to remain childfree. Leaving now would be her best option, as the entire responsibility of raising the children would be on her shoulders. CPS would have to step in and do what is best for them. Hubby may call OP an AH, but he's a bigger one if he thinks he can ignore her boundaries without penalty.

NTA! U r still young urself and taking on 3 kids, at those ages is a MASSIVE change! That would b hard for me as a childless 45 yo woman, and I've always WANTED kids. Whether he wants to admit it or not, BOTH ur lives will change massively. I think he's realizing that he won't b able to do it himself and NEEDS OP, which is not fair to u. This is a crappy situation all the way around. Maybe OP's MIL can move in with the soon to be ex, and they can raise them together. But do NOT let this family guilt trip u into staying. YES! MAYBE this could b a life changing event for u. But what if it's not?! This is in no way fair to anyone involved, but that does NOT mean OP has to sacrifice the rest of her life for someone else's mistakes.

Janelle Collard

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My 1st call would've been, "Hello? CPS?" since hubs is not around to "parent" his niblings.

NTA you & your husband decided before marriage not to have children. I do feel for the children. If he wants to take on his nephews & niece then HE needs to be more involved. Just because you WFH doesn't mean you get paid to sit at home doing nothing. If he's working all those hours then he should have the money for daycare. Or he could sue his sister for child support. This is all terrible for the children the guardian is unavailable, as are you ( it's OK that you don't have the maternal instinct, motherhood isn't for every woman.)

NTA. I completely agree with what you're saying. My husband and I are child free as well and I've made it clear that I don't want to be a parent. However, i feel awful for the kids. They're basically told that no one wants them, not even their own mom. My heart just breaks for them.

Life is not a rehearsal. Leave and live your life. You have been propelled into a situation not of your choosing by a man who made a decision he had no right to do.

You genuinely feel for those children but, no, nta. To be thrust into a situation like that from his low life sister is bad enough, but to have 3 in a house with one bedroom and with a mindset of not having children to begin with is too big of an ask.

While it would be admirable to make such a huge and lifelong commitment...you don't have to be the hero in this story. You get to make your own choices and your husband calling you an AH for not wanting to raise three children when you would be doing most of it on your own....the sacrifice is not yours. You are wise as you'd probably resent and divorce your husband in the long run. As for vows....get real people, Christians have the highest rate of divorce in the US and Canada. Go be the heroine in another story...Your own.

This woman is absolutely the AH. When family needs your help you step up. If you don't you're the AH. But everyone has every right to be an AH. That's what I don't understand. She knows she's the AH. (The truth is everyone sucks here) So own it. Own the fact that you are a self serving AH and walk away and go live your life. Accept the truth about yourself and do what you feel you should do. But you are absolutely the AH.

Notify the Fathers and their families ASAP

I just feel bad for the kids. I mean their parents have completely abandoned them, their grandma doesn't want them and their aunt is getting a divorce so she doesn't have to look after them either. The only one who wants them is their uncle who can't look after them anyway. But my question is: what about school? The 5yo could be in school and the twins in preschool. I didn't read all of the details but if they haven't been enrolled in a school yet surely it would get a lot better when they do and are out of the house for 6hrs of the day. The uncle could even do the school run in the morning. I understand however that this lady doesn't want kids so is there really no other relatives? Couldn't the grandma babysit at least for a couple hours in the week? Couldn't the uncle learn how to look after them? Divorce seems a bit drastic at this point but it's a hard situation.

Just want to play devils advocate for a moment. If it were a man asking his wife for a divorce for the same reason, would the NTA be getting this much support? Or would everyone be calling him an a*s?

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Sorry but you’re the AH. You must’nt have loved your husband much if you can divorce him over this. First, CPS should be giving you a very nice check for taking in 3 kids. This will definitely pay for their daycare, clothes and food. The only ones being hurt by this are 3 innocent children. Stop looking for the negative and find the positive.

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I personally feel she's a selfish AH, no decent woman would ever let children (family) abandoned. The mother/sister needs to be arrested for child abandonment and for putting their health and well-being at risk. I think overall this family is not decent/smart people. Proven with their living conditions and situations. The only victims here are the children, they deserve better.