After my baby brother died, as Big Bro, I seized every piece of technology he had. Mom wanted his phone so I sanitized the f**k out of it. After I broke into his laptop and started cleaning it up and organizing it I found several documents on there and found that he posted to several sites talking about how lonely and depressed he was.

He talked about how mom's new husband had made his life hell and how it was f****d up that she repeatedly let him come back into her life after causing a lot of family drama. He also talked about how close he and I were and how he hoped to make me proud one day. (I was always proud of him.)

He talked a lot about my daughter, his niece and how I was being the daddy she deserved and how proud he was of me. He wished that he and I had a dad like me when we were growing up. Instead he had me and I did what I could. I was only 8 years older and a child raising a child. He missed dad a lot because he had started to finally change after years of abuse...but then up and died.

He also talked of all the times he thought about s***ide. How he came close to doing it but never did follow through.

I miss my brother so much.

AxalonNemesis , Burst / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Green Machine

Green Machine

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

This one hits...

46

46points

reply

View more comments

That my godfather was abusive to his wife and had tried to strangle her once. We didn’t find this out until years after he died, until his daughter finally snapped after hearing for the hundredth time what a great guy he was.

EarlGreyhair , Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Sedona

Sedona

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

2 months ago

• Report

This was my ex. He was an abusive a-hole to me but to his friends he was a great, generous, fun guy. He died by his own hand, long after I broke up with him. It made my blood boil whenever people spoke of him so highly.

50

50points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

That my uncle passed from AIDS and not cancer like he said. Turned out he had been sick for a really long time. Gutted he never felt like he could share with us and went through it alone..

imperator-paloma , Engin Akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Brenda

Brenda

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

How sad he did it alone 😔

29

29points

reply

View more comments

My grandfather always kept the door of his home office locked. When he died in 1987, my grandmother just left the door closed and locked and eventually misplaced the key altogether. When my grandmother moved into assisted living last year, my mom and I cleaned out her house. I live closest so it was on me to wait for the locksmith to come and open the office door. The room was like a time capsule, complete with Winston cigarettes still on the desk, with butts in the ashtray and bills and a newspaper from 1987 stacked neatly. And the office was filled with photographs. My grandfather was a photographer so this was no surprise. Mostly they were from his job, and some were of the family, the house, vacations, etc. But then I found a locked file cabinet drawer and got curious/suspicious. Fully expecting to find naked pictures of my grandma (but not wanting to be the one who accidentally sold a cabinet full of cash or something), I popped the lock on the drawer with a letter opener. It was full of pictures of naked ladies who were NOT my grandmother. Probably a dozen different women. Some of them were obviously taken inside my grandparents' house. Most looked to be from the '50s and '60s, just judging from the hairstyles and shoes. These were not professional boudoir shots, either. It was straight up nasty p**n. I threw all the pictures away and never told anyone in my family about it.

SandraVirginia , Tofros.com / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

ADJ

ADJ

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

I would just like to comment that not all pictures of naked ladies are "porn", even in USA.

7

7points

reply

View more comments

Shortly after my great Uncle died, who had no wife or children, my mother found some of his military records dating back from WW2. Turns out he was captured by Japanese and sent to a POW camp and worked on the Burma-Thai railway.

strangersIknow , R.Kurinjivendhan / wikipedia (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Alexandra

Alexandra

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

That poor guy must have seen atrocious sights. The Japanese didn't honour the Geneva convention and treated their POW's as POW's should be treated. They worked them to death, killed them for the littlest of things and generally despised POW's. My grandfather was captured and subsequently beheaded by the Japanse. My father, who was 14 years old, then went on a bit of a killing spree, killing 5 Japanse in retaliation. He never regretted it. He then became a medic in the Korean War and was received 4 decorations. His most treasured one was the Purple Heart.

20

20points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Disturbing only because it was sad. Evidence that a beloved uncle was a closeted gay, discovered while clearing out his home after his funeral. This was in the 80's, so at no point in his life would coming out have been easy.

Scrappy_Larue , Alexander Grey / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

rullyman

rullyman

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

It was common during the AIDS crisis (not saying uncle died of this) for friends to mobilise immediately after a death and strip the deceased's house of anything linking them to being gay. So their family wouldn't come in and be shocked by what they found. It's so sad that these people had to hide who they were. In one of the modern art museums, there's a piece that tells the opposite story. It's a box fan all on its own. When the artist's boyfriend died, his family came round and took everything from the apartment- including sentimental things like photos- literally everything except this fan. So the artist took the fan as his only physical momento of his loved one.

37

37points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

That my great-grandfather was an avowed racist, who had helped start a branch of the KKK in our area. As it turned out, most of his kids -grandparents of my generation -knew about it, but it came as a huge shock to us great-grandkids. I grew up next door to him, and was constantly over there. He was a great guy, always had time to play with us kids, let us drive his tractors and four-wheelers around his yard, gave out fifty dollars cash on birthdays, and made it to every family event, where he talked to everybody -he never left any of us kids out.

I grew up thinking he was a hero -he'd fought in WWII -and a great guy. Then, at eleven years old, after his funeral, I find out he was horribly racist -if he saw a black person in a store, he'd walk out, and find somewhere different to shop. He'd tried getting town ordinances passed so that blacks couldn't live in our little town. Eventually, when all of his other efforts hadn't stopped anything, in the early eighties, he'd started a local KKK group.

It rocked my world. Couldn't believe that one of the nicest, sweetest guys I'd ever known was that sort of person. I still struggle with that sometimes.

Saoirse_Laochra , Underwood & Underwood / wikipedia (not the actual photo) Report

POST

rullyman

rullyman

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Good example of how complicated people are. There are many people with horrible views who can be lovely day to day.

63

63points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My paternal grandmother - we called her Nannie - gave birth to baby girls in unwed mother's homes three times before she married my grandfather. We thought that it had only happened once. That one got adopted out to a couple in Australia (we are all from New Zealand), and I went to visit her when I was a kid and went to her wedding. But once Nannie died my aunt tracked down a second one, who lived about two hours away from us! When I met her it was like seeing a ghost. She looked just like Nannie, and acted just like her as well, even though they had never met. I remember she walked ahead to open the gate for the car and turned around to lean against it, and my mum gasped and whispered "that's Barbara!" to my dad.

The saddest thing is that we have since found out that there was a third, another girl, but we can't find her. My aunt found a nurse that remembered Nannie and swears up and down that she was there to have a third child. Unfortunately the building burned down not long after the birth and the records were lost. So we will never find her.

I've also since learned that my dad is not my grandfather's child. Nannie was pregnant when she met him. This is an open secret in the family - we don't talk about it, especially not to dad, but we all know.

Apparently Nannie had quite a sad life before she married and there is a story about a man that was the great love of her life but she couldn't be with for some reason. I don't know that story fully though, I only heard it mentioned once when my mum was drunk and feeling chatty.

This is why birth control is so important. Birth control wasn't available when Nannie was a young woman, especially in the rural areas where she lived. Had she had access to it, her life might have turned out very differently.

Nannie hated women the whole time I knew her. She didn't like her female grandchildren and had no female friends. She was openly sexist against women, despite being one. I wonder if girl children reminded her of her babies that she had to give up and that was why she didn't like us.

daniellerosenalouise Report

POST

rullyman

rullyman

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Or women reminded her of the nuns and nurses who snatched her babies away in the unwed mothers home

79

79points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My great-grandmother tried to get custody of me, claiming my mom had abandoned me.


When my mom divorced my biological father, to get away from him (he was very manipulative and abusive), she packed up everything and moved up to Georgia.


For nearly a year, I stayed with my great-grandparents while my mom went out to find a place to live, find a job, and also she met a man who would become my adoptive father, and give me his last name.


My great-grandmother was a bit manipulative and controlling herself. She was also delusional. She believed that my mom had abandoned me, and set about trying to get custody of me. She tried to rope my grandmother into it, but she wouldn't have any of it. She worked for an attorney, and she said, "Prove it." Great-grandma couldn't.


My mom told me she'd visit weekly, and once she got settled in, she came and got me.

PatrickRsGhost , Rene Terp / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

viimatar

viimatar

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

There's likely several generations of relatively young mothers in here, if the great-grandparent was trying to get custody?

17

17points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

In 2009 I got a Facebook message from a guy saying essentially : hi, I think we have the same dad.

My dad died in 2004.

I knew he had been married way before he met my mom but none of us knew he had a son that he abandoned. When the baby was 6 months old he up and left to join the army, never seeing his son again.

So I have a half brother who is about 20 years older than me

Since I was the first to find out. I was tasked with telling my mother. I called her up and she basically said : "meh, your dad was bound to have some more skeletons in the closet that we didn't yet know about"

The whole thing makes me incredibly sad when I think about it. Sad for this guy that didn't have a dad (he had been looking for him on and off since he was 17). But also sad for my dad that he carried this secret with him for so long, and died without ever having told anyone. It must have haunted him.

frenchbritchick , freestocks / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

POST

rullyman

rullyman

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Maybe it didnt haunt him. Maybe he put it aside in his mind, lived in the moment, and rarely thought about it. A lot of people who do bad things survive this way.

60

60points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My dad, brother and grandmother died in a car accident, turns out that was my dad's idea of s**cide and he took them with him because he thought he was doing us a favor as my 3 year old brother had some form of retardation and my grandma was a horrible person.

fenixpenix Report

POST

Brenda

Brenda

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

OMG! How terrible!

44

44points

reply

View more comments

Found divorce papers for grandmother and found out that my grandfather was divorcing her because she abused him. She was given custody of my mom instead of him. I wonder how different she would have been if he had custody. She is a very easily manipulated and timid person. I wonder if grandma was abusive to her as well.

cocuke , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Batwench

Batwench

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

2 months ago

• Report

You can probably say that 100% that she was.

57

57points

reply

View more comments

Well this is not so much disturbing as it is awesome,
my grandfather kept a big safe in the basement of his house and about 6 months after his death we bought a diamond blade saw to get it open as we had no idea where the key was. In short there was £250000 in there that our whole family didn't know existed nor where it came from. I mean, I guess it's possible that he saved his wages over a long period of time to eventually have that amount. Possible, but extremely unlikely as he was a builder and not particularly wealthy. We all got a cut.

richieZEB00 , Binarysequence / wikipedia (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Michael Largey

Michael Largey

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

A family member was a high ranking police officer. A newspaper discovered that he had the modern equivalent of $800,000 he couldn't account for in a bank in Mexico.

14

14points

reply

View more comments

My grandpa suppressed my uncle's passion for music. Not only did he suppress the passion, but my uncle is a very gifted guy regarding music. He has an absolute pitch. The occurence of this skill is 1 in 10.000.

I'm not really surprised, that my uncle is in a miserable state, today.

regdayrf2 Report

POST

rullyman

rullyman

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

If your uncle is still alive, it's never too late for him to pursue music as a passion!

53

53points

reply

That my dad had been recording and listening to all our phone calls. For years. We found boxes of cassette tapes he had hidden in his shop after he died.

Clamdilicus , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Beak Hookage

Beak Hookage

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Depending on whether he was recording phonecalls between you and him this is either really touching or really really creepy.

23

23points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

So far we've found four of my grandfathers long lost children from his affairs, and counting.

heartsbeating , Rodolfo Clix / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Pyla

Pyla

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Grampa was a rolling bone.

23

23points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

That my mom had given birth to twin boys while in college, long before meeting my dad. The father was a professor in her department. She went away for 9 mos. without telling her family, saying she was taking a class for her major. She was not keeping in touch, however, and her family grew increasingly suspicious. Eventually, her sister came up unannounced. She knocked, and my mom answered, obviously pregnant. The sister went back and let the family know what she had seen. My mom had the babies, put them up for adoption, and returned home to an icy, silent reception. The reason for her absence was never spoken of. I didn't find out until many years after her death.

yarzospatzflute , Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Helena

Helena

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Good sisters don't narc

71

71points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

After my mom passed away, I went through all of her junk in boxes. Came across one big hat box that contained lots of documents and newspaper clippings from the early 1900's up until the 70's.
Nearly every piece of paper in that box completely was the opposite of what we were taught as kids about the family. My dad was this upstanding preacher who had only been married once. Wrong! He was married 4 times and had lots of kids from his other marriages. My uncle who ended up marrying 13 women and having untold numbers of kids, was gay when he was a teenager, My grandfather didn't approve and one day shot his lover right in front of him and made him bury the body in the woods. My grandmother made a notation on a side note that that was the day her baby had died. Talking about my uncle. He eventually was so tormented by his miserable life and drinking, that he k*lled himself in 1980 at 47 years old. Even my dad and uncles military histories were all phony. What was most amazing was our name wasn't even our last name. My grandfather and his brothers got in trouble with the law in the early 20's and changed all their names. Another big shocker was one of my uncles was a bigtime racist back in the 60's. My grandmother kept a ledger of all the money she would send to all of his kids who were born by different mothers. Most of the kids were black. She even had pictures of some of them and they looked just like my uncle as a kid except darker skin.
There was newspaper clippings about m**ders and assasinations and all kinds of nasty stuff the family was involved in.
After going through all of it I was nearly in shock. Everything I knew about my family was a lie. I called up my last living aunt and asked her about a bunch of it. Her husband(my Uncle) was a straight laced military man who really didn't get along with most of his family. She said that from what he had told her over the years it all made sense. It even explained why he was given a different last name in the military after he had a background check for a security clearance. They always thought it was a mistake from the military that they couldn't get fixed. But it was the real last name of the family.
I asked her if she thought anyone in the family should know about this stuff?
She said "GOD NO!" Burn it and never speak of any of it to a soul ever again. She said that if any of it does come to light, I will be hated by the entire family for not keeping it hid. She said people like to live the lie's they make, not the reality of who they really are.
I still have it. Can't bring myself to burn it.

vaylon1701 Report

POST

Liz Rogers

Liz Rogers

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Sounds like good material for a novel years from bow

39

39points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Not quite the prompt, but I only found out a couple of years ago that my grandmother's sister hadn't just passed away at a young age, she had (in all probability- there are no official records but it is the most logical explanation for her disappearance at that particular time) been kidnapped by the Argentinean military junta and either tortured to death in prison, shot by firing squad into a mass grave, drugged and dropped from an airplane... the possibilities are horrifying.
I now much more clearly understand why my grandmother's family back in Argentina are so messed up.

hannahstohelit , Jose P. Ortiz / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

POST

viimatar

viimatar

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Government atrocities are terrible. My maternal grandmother lost nearly all of her family in Stalin's purges, after her mother had remarried to a Communist man and they'd left the country in the early 30's for a better life (this was a time of depression also here, and the aftermath of the Finnish Civil War of 1918 was horrible for the former Reds, most of whom had just demanded decent wages and rights - though in this case, the new husband and my great-grandmother were both politically active, but too young to have been fighting in that war themselves to my knowledge). My grandmother was left behind in her own grandparents' care, as she was just 2 yrs. and would have suffered while traveling, as she also had health issues. The only one who had survived the purge and the Gulag was her brother, who in the 60's finally was able to write back, get a travel permit and tell the tale. My mother and uncle only were born because the youngest child had been left behind and lived.

24

24points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

About 20 years ago I had a boyfriend who got cancer and died within a year. As he got sicker I began to realize that all the stuff he had told me about his family was made up, and all of the truth came out afterwards.

He didn't have a twin brother who trained dolphins at SeaWorld, he had a regular upbringing in the USA and not Morocco, his parents were normal boring people from Michigan - not an actress and a professor from Paris. Even his exotic sounding first name was invented, he was actually named Steve.

Interestingly there was one thing that was true: his cousin who worked at NASA really did. I guess that was already interesting enough that he didn't have to make that up.

As to why he did this, it was never clear. He didn't lie about other stuff AFAIK. His real family was on the other side of the country and didn't want to visit while he was sick and didn't come to the funeral either. The whole thing was sad and strange.

anon , Engin Akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Lost Panda

Lost Panda

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Based on how they didn't even show at the funeral tells me enough to understand why he made it up.

71

71points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

After my grandmother died, I learnt that the bar she owned when she was younger was more like a w***ehouse. Also, she was almost sent to prison for another reason.
I learnt so much this year that I now call this part of my family "the bloody news family".

cantormetrique , Valeria Boltneva / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

CanadianDimes

CanadianDimes

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

What was the other reason?!

8

8points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My grandfather, who we called Opa, was a carpenter his entire life; built half the houses in my hometown, and loved to give them away AT COST to young couples getting a start in life. when my grandmother passed, Opa began building his own coffin, and it was beautiful. he asked my mom to put in nice red satin upholstery, and when it was finished, he stood it up at his 90th birthday party and asked us all to pose with him in it.

we'd always known that he'd served in WWII, but like many men he never talked about it. we learned after his passing that he'd signed up when circumcision was still required, and he volunteered for the procedure so he could go fight. once enlisted, they put his carpentry skills to use building bridges, but for the most part he spent his time making coffins, to send boys home.

adelaide129 , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

XenoMurph

XenoMurph

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Why was circumcision required???

30

30points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Uncle died from auto-erotic asphyxiation. So it came out that he was into auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Nkklllll , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Zaach

Zaach

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

A member of "The Ruling Class"? (Michael Caine reference)

1

1point

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Not necessarily disturbing, but my grandfather knew he had cancer six months before he passed away. Even when his health declined rapidly the last two weeks, he never said anything about it. I kind of knew that was going on. He's to stubborn to let his family take care of him or be bedridden.

Owlettehoo , Olga Kononenko / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

POST

viimatar

viimatar

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Sounds exactly like my grandfather. I'm not sure if it was stubbornness or denial, or maybe both. He was just 63 when he passed away, in '90. The treatments have advanced lightyears from that situation.

6

6points

reply

View more comments

My great grandmother was most likely a lesbian and a cleptomaniac.

The most shocking to me was my grandfather who was all about the Marines. Everything was about the Marine Corps. I always thought that he was a long term Marine and had fought in WWII. Turns out he was in for less than a year and did maintenance on docked ships. My (gay) partner that was kicked out for being gay served a lot longer. My family makes fun of the fact that he (my partner) was ever in the Marines, but still act like my grandfather single handedly won the war. He was buried with full military honors.

rottisnot , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Michael Largey

Michael Largey

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

She was a lesbian and a kleptomaniac because she stole all the girls?

17

17points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My great-grandfather had another family that wasn't revealed until after he passed in his late 90s. He lived til I was in my mid-twenties and not once would I have ever suspected it. He was present at every family party, took me for haircuts once a month, I cut their lawn every week. It turned out my great-grandmother knew but hid it from everyone in the family. She actually knew his other kids and families. She told my dad while in Hospice. The real kicker was when doing a family tree on one of those sites, it kept suggesting a public family tree I did not recognize. Turns out it was his other family.

sideofricepilaf Report

POST

rullyman

rullyman

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

There are family tree sites now that are linked with DNA databases. People are swabbing a cheek and finding out they have alllllll kinds of relatives they didn't know about 🫢

20

20points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

For years we blamed my cousin's wife for ordering a hit on him because he was cheating on her (this is all within bounds for that side of the family, which is shady as f**k on a good day). My cousin was found with a headshot wound inflicted by his driver's firearm. Turns out he'd committed s**cide because he owed a lot of bad people money; we only found out because said bad people eventually came for his kids' money a few years later. S**t was f****d.

not_thedrink Report

POST

Jul Chv

Jul Chv

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

Shït was fücked, indeed. Indeed.

3

3points

reply

View more comments

Not necessarily disturbing, but surprising. My dad did one of those genealogy DNA things and found out that my grandfather was not actually his father. It appears that both my grandparents had multiple affairs and my father was the product of one. They stayed married to each other for more than 50 years though.

sweaty_yeti , National Cancer Institute / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Batwench

Batwench

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

2 months ago

• Report

Open marriages are not a new thing.

20

20points

reply

View more comments

My dad passed away a year ago from a heart attack, upon trying to set all his paperwork straight, I found out he had been spending around $600-1000 a month in slot machines at the hotel in the next town over(he was taking out money at the hotel ATM). Not sure how much of that he got back, if any. It had been going on for at least 2 years according to my uncle.

I never knew he had a gambling problem, didn't see him often enough to notice. :( He also was retired and didn't cash out that much from his retirement.

dyphter , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Elchinero

Elchinero

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 months ago

• Report

He got zippo back ... they make it that way ..,..

7

7points

reply

View more comments