36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives

Researchers have identified 36 common secrets, and they range from infidelity to job dissatisfaction, from romantic desires to criminal behavior, and from having had a traumatic experience to pursuing an unusual hobby.

At any given time, the average person keeps about 12 of them. And while we would like to take some of the big ones to the grave, that's not always possible.

Created by Reddit user SailoLee92, there's an online thread where people have been answering the question "What disturbing thing did you learn about someone only after their death?" Here are some of the most upvoted stories.

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives At my great aunt's funeral, everyone was talking about how sad it was she didn't have kids. My grandma told me that it was because she'd gotten pregnant in the 40's out of wedlock and had a coat hanger abortion. The resulting infection rendered her sterile.

Keep it safe and legal, folks.

vinasu , Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

165points

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Kristal 9 months ago

If only it was legal everywhere :(

139points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives I went through a nasty break up with my oldest kids mom that lasted several years. We were never married and she was crazy as hell so she told the hospital she didn't know our kid's father just so she could have leverage over me. You know, like a sane person does. Years later and after several investigations into child abuse she lost custody.

Over the next several years we kept getting oddly specific complaints about things going on in my house and my daughter and her step mom specifically. Dumb s**t like matching clothes or details about how we do time out.

My mom died 2 years ago and when we switched her facebook to memorial mode I saw that she had been talking bad about me for years to my ex and was essentially spying on me for her and twisting information. I'm guessing it's because she felt bad for a mother that lost her kid but it was still a d**k move. It's been 2 years and I still refuse to visit her grave with my siblings and havent shed a tear for her since

SketchesFromMidgard , KoolShooters/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

121points

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Rebelliousslug 9 months ago

Betrayal by your own mother has to hurt so much

111points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives I received a phone call from my late husband’s girlfriend the day of his funeral. She was phoning his cell phone which I had turned off while he was in the hospital. She told me that my husband had been paying her rent for the last year. The bank had recently foreclosed on our house. I had no idea he was unfaithful to me but she knew all about me.

Chardagoat , Karolina Grabowska/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

107points

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Phoenix 9 months ago

I wonder why the mistress continued the relationship if she knew he had a wife, like what? Dump his a*s!

26points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Woman in my town, after she died, people were clearing her garden and found what they thought was a model skeleton Yeah her husband went mysteriously missing in the mid 90s...

TheSentinelsSorrow , Lisa Fotios/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

104points

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Auntriarch 9 months ago

So I have just said to Mr Auntriarch that after we've gone we should get someone to bury Charlie the skeleton in the garden. He said no, board him up under stairs. You can see why I married him

76points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My BIL died in an accident, and his wife found out by going through his phone that he was sleeping with several other women. Many of whom were pretty close in our "friend group" and some were also married. It was quite awkward and got pretty messy.

DeeSkwared , Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

93points

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CrunChewy McSandybutt 9 months ago

I was witness to a similar experience. It got messy when the truth came out, but after the dust settled everyone managed to repair their lives to a better version.

17points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My nana always gave me a kind of uneasy feeling when I was around her, and I didn't adore her or anything, but I definitely thought of her as just a regular old lady up until her death.

Then, after she died, my mom confessed to me that my nana used to be a religious zealot, so much so that she would scream at her for hours for having her fly down, or wearing slightly-tight jeans, because she was "inviting the devil" or something. She would take my mom and her brother into the backyard and force them to brutally beat eachother with sticks. And when my mom's brother was killed in a car accident, my nana openly mocked him at the funeral, stating he deserved to die (because he drank underage, I think? not while driving, he didn't drive drunk. just..... in general), that he was burning in hell, good riddance........ ect,,,

She was a monster. My mother had to run away at 18. My nana only "calmed down" when my mom had kids, because she'd wanted "grandbabies", and being the forgiving person my mom was, she let her back into her life, on the promise she never did to us what she'd done to her.

My mom may have forgiven her, but I haven't. She didn't really change, on the inside......... and looking back I can see just how much my nana's abuse shaping my mother's life/mental health for the worse, how she never ended up 'recovering', in the end. Awful. I wish I could tell my mom what I know now about trauma and all that, wish we could really Talk about it now that I'm an adult..... but it's too late for that now,,, (EDIT: for those wondering, my mother has also passed away. that's what I meant by "it's too late for that now")

underairpressure , adrianna geo/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

91points

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Rebelliousslug 9 months ago

Learning about my mother’s trauma also taught me a lot about who she was as a person and played a large part in me forgiving her for things in my childhood I had held onto resentment for. Sometimes, you don’t even really know the people you think you know best.

61points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My buddy's mom totally killed my buddy's dad. She had taken a $200k life insurance policy out on him 6 months before he died, and he died from not taking his medication that he'd taken no problem all of his life. My buddy was away for the weekend so wasn't home when his dad died. After his mom died, we found out she'd taken a life insurance policy out on my buddy at some point too, and she'd also forged his signature to sign over $100k my buddy's dad had left to him. She also faked illnesses to get prescription drugs and had little books filled with info on what she'd sold and how much she'd made from selling them.

rebel_nature , Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

80points

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Wubedhheij 9 months ago (edited)

🤬😦

25points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Had a cousin who died a few years ago. Went to his funeral and was walking around hugging his wife and kids and giving them my condolences when a lady and a two teenage boys walked in. Nobody knew who these people were so of course my great aunt asked and she claimed to be his wife and the two boys were his sons.... Turns out all those week or two long work trips he'd been taking weren't actually work trips it was trips to see his OTHER family.

TrueFakeAdult , Diego Lozano/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

78points

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Antony Aston 9 months ago

What sort of work did he do so he could afford 2 families?

45points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives After my father died a few years ago, we learned that he had taken out about 40k of loans on my name. We share the same Initials (and surname obviously). He forged my signature, and kept on applying for loans and credit, got approved and never paid a single dime back. Seeing as he was the main contact, no-one ever called me to ask me why I wasn't paying my debt ... So only after he died we got contacted by institutions informing us that my father owes them money, just to find out it was actually on my name ...

So now my credit record is f****d due to years of payments not being made and I need to pay back all of these loans. Fun times right

xXDuBXx , Alex Green/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

73points

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Rebelliousslug 9 months ago

I never understood how a parent could do this to a child. We had some hard times when mine was little, but doing anything to hurt her future never even occurred to me. Some people really aren’t born to be parents.

73points

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#10

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Maybe not disturbing, but after my nanas death, I found out that she married my papa, had three kids with him all as a cover story for him being gay. This was during a time of LGBT violence in America.
The kicker is, they really pulled off the married couple routine.

Brelalanana , Zoriana Stakhniv/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

72points

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Nash Nopper 9 months ago

in German "Papa" means father ... so I was confused for a second...

48points

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#11

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives When my neighbour died of old age her adult children were organising her funeral. Her husband had died many years previous. A woman arrived from England upon hearing of her death. It turns out she was their sister. Their mother had had her when she was a teenager and gave her up for adoption. They kept up regular correspondence up until the mother died. No one knew. Her other children were shocked. I’m not even sure if her husband knew.

Her children were really upset that she never told them. On a positive note, I think they all keep in regular contact now. This is Ireland by the way, so there was huge stigma at the time about having children outside of marriage.

Mommy-Smash , The Good Funeral Guide/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

68points

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Jay Scales 9 months ago

I'm glad it ended positively, altho maybe the mum should've told her adult children, esp as her husband had died?

17points

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#12

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My grandpa had stashed what would be worth millions today and proceeded to convince his family they were poor and had almost no money. His family lived in poverty while he lied to them all.

TrueChaosUnleashed , Steshka Willems/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

67points

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David Paterson 9 months ago

Windfall! Don't contest the will or the court could tie the money up for over a decade.

9points

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#13

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives I had a brother who had some paranoid delusions (FBI, CIA following him, spying on his apartment, etc). We (my brothers and I) had tried to get him help and he would just have no part of it. After a few years, it seemed like it had gotten better. He stopped bringing it up and we felt like it must have just passed. After he died, we found his journal and it was just horrifying. Right up until the night he died, he detailed all of the torture that they were inflicting on him - weird s**t that I can't even write in here. It was just incredibly disturbing to read what a tortured life he was living inside his mind while acting relatively normal outside.

Edit: Many people have asked me to go into more detail on what he wrote. I can't go into much detail - it's hard for me to write about. Briefly, he believed that they were using some type of focused energy beam to torture him. They focused on different parts of his body at different times. Every noise that an appliance made was proof of electronic surveillance. Every bump on the wall or person walking in an adjacent apartment was a message from either the "bad" FBI agents or the "good" FBI agents.

emejim , Arun Thomas/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

65points

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Weasel Wise 9 months ago

The poor sick brother had to hide his illness, which generally helps said problem to grow, so that his family would stop trying to fix him rather than accept him. Such a scary and lonely existence.

19points

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#14

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives That for the first few months my mother was pregnant with me the entire family thought she was dying from an ovarian tumor. She was 41 and it was the 1960s, her doctor at the navy hospital just assumed she was too old to get pregnant.

MSeanF , Negative Space/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

62points

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Captain Kyra 9 months ago

At 41? That's an ignorant doctor

38points

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#15

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Family friend that passed was having sex with young male prostitutes, had his wife hooked on drugs that he provided with his doctors license, and had spent all of their money even though they had been rich so that they were destitute and his wife and kids had no idea. She lost the house a month after he died unexpectedly. She and her kids are doing fine now. She's recovered and remarried.

Sollunastella , Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

61points

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Jay Scales 9 months ago

That poor woman! I really hope she is happy the 2nd time around.

31points

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#16

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My grandparents were horrible to my mom. Telling her she deserved other kids hitting her or not believing her when it happened, telling her "Good, I'm sick of you anyway" when she threatened to run away, physical abuse, spending as little money as possible on her, NEVER showing any kind of affection, etc... I never knew them that well and I'm kinda glad for it tbh.

AsteroidBomb , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

60points

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Farah Kamal 9 months ago

damn... You should be!

16points

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#17

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives An old, rich man my mom use to run errands for not only offered her $5000 to sleep with him, but he also told her he couldn’t wait till I was 18 (I was younger than 12 at the time) and tried to make an arrangement to pay for my presence once I was 18.

TwistedNoctrnlBtrfly , Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

57points

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Somebodys grandmother 9 months ago

🤮

70points

Bonesko 9 months ago (edited)

🤮😡🔪🪦🤗

3points

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Mike_The_Nike (He They) 9 months ago

🤮 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

0points

Moonwatcher the NightWing 9 months ago

That emoji looks like the guys giving Shrek head... My friend made that observation and i can never unsee it.

-2points

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 9 months ago

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

8points

Kare Deter 9 months ago

That is just creepy AF

6points

Jen M 9 months ago

No thanks!

6points

Brian Droste 9 months ago

He was a DOM, dirty old man.

5points

iluvanimals 9 months ago

Ha.

1point

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Matt 9 months ago

Epstien?

3points

Audra 9 months ago

Freaking EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!! Nasty perverted a*****e!!!!!! Hopefully he died before you turned 18! I know I shouldn't say that but come on!!

1point

Jennlyn 9 months ago

Jfc 🤢

1point

Vicki Perizzolo 9 months ago

Nasty ol pervert

0points

Robert Beveridge 9 months ago

The more I read about rich people, the happier--okay, let's make that "less sad" - - I am that I never was.

0points

MagicJacket 9 months ago

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#18

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My uncle had a son he never told us about for 25 years

anon , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

56points

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FatKidShakeDown 9 months ago

Is it Jaden Smith?

28points

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#19

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives She had been cheating on me all through our marriage.

When the shock subsided, it was replaced by rage and betrayal. I lost it and I just started destroying and trashing everything of hers.

The only thing I didn't destroy or throw away was her urn. I gave that to her parents. I seriously thought about flushing her ashes down the toilet, but I decided not to.

I completely got over her in record time.

DippityBoa8313 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

49points

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Tyke 9 months ago

trollingergirl I've read better trolls, but here you are

23points

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#20

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives I had the best grandpa growing up. Like typical movie grandpa. He was perfect. Spoiled us like crazy great corny jokes always had crazy silly story’s. always saved the day. Just the best man I knew. After he passed one of my aunts told me and my little sister he had cheated on my grandma with her own sister multiple times. We never knew. Wish she never told us.

shawwnalorraine , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

48points

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Danni 9 months ago

You don't have to be a good husband in order to be a good dad/grandad. I hate this for your grandmother, but your experience in your relationship with him shouldn't be tarnished by his mistakes in that relationship.

54points

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#21

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives I once had a friend whose dad died.. and he never really talked about it but he was pretty troubled. Every year on his death date, they would have a celebration of life party. He invited our friend group one year and we were all excited to be there to support him. Turns out his dad died in a car accident involving a drunk driver. The dad was the drunk driver and also killed the family he hit.

taybear13 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

45points

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Jay Scales 9 months ago

I wouldn't have a party - I would be ashamed of him.

33points

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#22

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My great grandfather had a whole other wife with 7 children he told no one about.

patheticasthetic , Yulianto Poitier/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

45points

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trollingergirl 9 months ago

Rather a whole other life, it seems.

17points

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#23

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My uncle on my mom's side went missing around January 7, 2000. When my cousin Adrian went looking for him, he found him in his closet with a belt around his neck. After that everyone pieced together, based on weird conversations and his behavior, that it was my uncle who had set fire to my family's apartment's front door about a week prior, December 30, 1999. That fire left my family psychologically and physically scarred and my mother dead. Apparently my parents were fed up with giving him booze-and-smokes money.

solariportocali , Kobe -/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

44points

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Charles McChristy 9 months ago

Your uncle got off easy.

18points

#24

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives one of my good friends was shot last year, he was one of the nicest guys i knew, he always calls everyone he knew checked up on them made sure everyone was okay and was really supportive of everyone.
move forward a week or two after his murder someone was arrested due to a murder that happened a few days before my friends. turns out the guy who was arrested was the cause of multiple murders (yet he had perfect alibi’s everything) except we later found out that my friend was working for him, was getting paid 5-10k per person. when my friend got murdered it wasn’t a random shooting. it was a revenge hit. no one saw it coming but everything soon made sense

TrafficTruck , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

43points

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Rebelliousslug 9 months ago

I’m glad everything son made sense because this entry doesn’t make a lot of sense; a very confusing read.

43points

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#25

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Nothing terribly exciting but I found my mother's rehab journal a few months ago, 15 years after she drank herself to death. Guess she cheated on my Dad with that guy from the gastric bypass support group who she brought around to our family functions quite a few times. Not sure if my Dad ever read the journal and found out, but him and his husband are living the life now and I'm not going to bring it up.

mjzim9022 , Kaboompics .com/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

43points

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Rebelliousslug 9 months ago

Good for dad!! No reason to rain on his parade now, nothing can be done about it so I wouldn’t see any reason to tell him either.

25points

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#26

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives That my grandfather beat my grandmother, to the point of causing miscarriages, and that he also beat my older uncles.

Of course, I was only 6 when he died (lung cancer), so it makes sense I never would have heard that stuff before now.

MysteryGirlWhite , Karolina Grabowska/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

40points

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Jay Scales 9 months ago

Wife beating ain't new :(

13points

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#27

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives When my great grand mother died my grandma introduce her half sister to the family. Apparently my great grandpa had an affair... the funny thing is at that she went to school with my grandma. No one wanted to tell my great grandma though.

jillywillyfoshilly , Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Jay Scales 9 months ago

This one is rather positive.

7points

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#28

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My grandma (dad's mom) was one of my favorite people before she died when I was 14. She was extremely sweet, generous, and gave good advice. My brother and I stayed with her and were alone with her all the time, and she never mistreated us or in any way acted unusual. I found out only a couple weeks ago at 33 years old that she was a severe alcoholic who would get drunk almost daily up until her death. My dad said she would beat him and his brothers when they were kids, and as adults would still say severely psychologically abusive taunts while grinning at their faces. I never had even the slightest inclination- and this is coming from someone who grew up with an alcoholic step dad and a near-alcoholic mom.'

RightToConversation , Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

34points

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Jack Smith 9 months ago

and your parents still let you hang around her?! why?!

60points

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#29

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Well I was told by my grandma that on her father's deathbed they found out he had a secret family with another wife and kids and they found out because both family's were at the hospital. He was living a double life pretty much, he sounded like a s****y person.

anon , Patricia Prudente/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

29points

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Mikey Kliss 9 months ago

My uncle found out at the deathbed of his "mother" that he was adopted and really belonged to my moms family (who were cousins to him until then)

6points

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#30

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives That my aunt that was stealing from my grandmother. The aunt was withdrawing money of of my grandmother's bank account even after she died.

The aunt said my grandmother had a gambling problem but there was no way my grandmother could leave her house by herself. (that was why my aunt had access to her bank account).

Means i dont have to see my aunt again which i am happy about.

vncrpp , Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

28points

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Sven Grammersdorf 9 months ago

You don't need to leave the house to have a gambling problem.

13points

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#31

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Apparently my grandfather's sister is actually his sisters daughter AND apparently their dad was the father.

I really hope the 2nd part isn't true. I think my pa died having no idea what his father had allegedly done

f*ckwitsabound , Dev Asangbam/Pexels (Not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

26points

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KieLeaHar 9 months ago

I have a very good friend whose mother had her first child at 15… To her father. But she pretended it was to the neighbour and married the neighbour to escape that life. Unfortunately, due to horrible circumstances it seems that her second child was not to her husband either, and her third (my friend) and fourth children were to different men as well. Also, her mother is as evil as her grandfather was.

2points

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#32

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Not necessarily disturbing. My mom’s cousin died when I was 7. My mom and him were extremely close, he was even the godfather of my little sister. She took his death pretty harshly. I was always told he fell asleep at the wheel. What I found out as I got older was that he had been on and off drugs. He took the wrong concoction and ending up passing out at the wheel while driving.

My mom doesn’t like to talk about much understandably. I just found it so shocking that he had this completely different side to himself that no one really knew. Unfortunately neither me nor my sister remember much of him, but my sister is very close with his mom (our great aunt), who basically took the role of her godparent in his stead. I think it’s nice that my sister now has someone to share the brighter side of her godfather’s life.

scampede , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

24points

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Garthus Andicus 9 months ago

My ex best friends mom found out that her deceased father of 76 years was a murderer. After going through some of his belongings, hidden in the corner of the room, underneath the bed.... was a mutilated woman's body stuffed inside a suit case. Apparently the story was he was quite the "professional" ladies man and got into an argument with a prostitute. And instead of being civil about it he just killed her.... My ex best friends mom was absolutely mortified and had to seek therapy after the gruesome discovery.

19points

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#33

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My father-in-law had a secret love child, we are not even sure he knew about them. He has been dead for 11 years, we found out about this person two years ago.

baconcattherapist , Alexander Dummer/Pexels (not the actual phtoto) Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Carole 9 months ago

Just out of curiosity, am I the only person who wouldn't want to meet secret siblings/relative? Like if one of my parents had a kid from an affair, I would not want to meet or know anything about them. Don't get me wrong, I know it wouldn't be the kid's fault, I wouldn't be mean about it, I would just want for us to keep living our separate lives.

21points

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#34

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives When my father died, I was sitting around at the wake, just kind of thinking to myself out loud. I told my mother, "It sucks that I never got a chance to meet the other Vampedvixen." My mother was like "What are you talking about?" So I told her that our father, her husband for the past several decades, named all three of his daughters after three of his ex-girlfriends. All I know about the other Vampedvixen is she had red hair. My sister confirmed this and said she knew about it too. My mother just sat there dumbfounded, but she found it amusing in the end and was not hurt by it at all. It was just my father's way of being kind to past friends.

vampedvixen , Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Kawaii Panda 9 months ago (edited)

I would definitely NOT be amused if I found out my husband named our daughters after his ex’s.

17points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#35

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives My great-uncle was gay. When he died, my mom and aunt were going through his things. My aunt picked up this porcelain egg that opened up. She was confused by it's contents. When she asked my mom what it was, she told her it was pubic hair. My aunt threw it down and ran out of the room screaming. The man collected 3 different colored pubes and kept it by his bedside.

anon , Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual phot) Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Hooked 9 months ago

Does this have anything to do with being gay ? Very unnecessary addition to the story if you ask me

51points

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#36

36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives Found out my grandfather was wearing a toupee for most of my (and his) life that I had known him. Only found out about it when we were going through old photos and my dad remarked about it. Never saw him the same in photos again.

shartnite , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Lee 9 months ago (edited)

How is this 'disturbing?' Losing hair as a man makes you lose confidence. Somehow it's a social norm to tell men in that situation to just 'shave it off' when it happens too, which is a crappy thing to be told. Men want hair as much as women.

42points

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36 Disturbing Secrets People Hid Their Whole Lives

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