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Researchers have identified 36 common secrets, and they range from infidelity to job dissatisfaction, from romantic desires to criminal behavior, and from having had a traumatic experience to pursuing an unusual hobby.
At any given time, the average person keeps about 12 of them. And while we would like to take some of the big ones to the grave, that's not always possible.
Created by Reddit user SailoLee92, there's an online thread where people have been answering the question "What disturbing thing did you learn about someone only after their death?" Here are some of the most upvoted stories.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
At my great aunt's funeral, everyone was talking about how sad it was she didn't have kids. My grandma told me that it was because she'd gotten pregnant in the 40's out of wedlock and had a coat hanger abortion. The resulting infection rendered her sterile.
Keep it safe and legal, folks.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Isn't religion awesome?!?! Forcing terrified women to do terrifying, possibly fatal, things to their bodies because ignorant people insist that magical sky gods are real and put that zygote inside her for a reason (ZYGOTE! IT'S NOT A BABY!)?!?!? /s /s /s Religion is a disgusting, oppressive tool. 😡
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Mark Karol-Chik 1 year ago
Thanks to the cuntservatives and the cult of 45, women in the USA are again, second class citizens.
Limey 1 year ago (edited)
When I was 15 and in school in the UK (60s) my classmate had an illegal “coat hanger abortion”. When it went wrong the man and women providing it and the “boyfriend” (in his 20s) ran away and left her to bleed to death. You will never stop abortion, you will only stop safe ones. Edit: they were caught and all 3 went to prison. But my friend was still dead.
Donteatme666 1 year ago
People suck they worship the great orange turd in the sky not realizing that this is what the he wants 😭 he wants to go back to segregations back ally abortion's and women in the closet he sucks a*s
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
Ah, yeah, why don’t you remind our lovely government that IT’S MY BODY! YOU DON’T OWN ME!
Humansarethevirus 1 year ago
Well no thanks to the selfish hypocrites Christians fascists who love forced births. Sadistic cuntz
RELATED:
#2
I went through a nasty break up with my oldest kids mom that lasted several years. We were never married and she was crazy as hell so she told the hospital she didn't know our kid's father just so she could have leverage over me. You know, like a sane person does. Years later and after several investigations into child abuse she lost custody.
Over the next several years we kept getting oddly specific complaints about things going on in my house and my daughter and her step mom specifically. Dumb s**t like matching clothes or details about how we do time out. My mom died 2 years ago and when we switched her facebook to memorial mode I saw that she had been talking bad about me for years to my ex and was essentially spying on me for her and twisting information. I'm guessing it's because she felt bad for a mother that lost her kid but it was still a d**k move. It's been 2 years and I still refuse to visit her grave with my siblings and havent shed a tear for her since
Alicia M 1 year ago
I was stalked by an ex for 8 years after I broke up with him. My mother was feeding him information the whole time I was trying to get away from him. I was stalked and threatened for 8 years because my mother felt sorry for him.
iluvanimals 1 year ago
I hope you are in NC with that woman? She is not worth being called your mom.
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Knox Warner 1 year ago
My mother was monstrous like that, but I found out about it much earlier in my life. Had nothing to do with her for years before her death (on the opposite coast), and didn't even send flowers to the funeral I refused to attend. Given her propensity for lying, I'm sure my other relatives think I'm some kind of monster myself for that, but I haven't seen them since, anyway.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
At least in the US, courts are often bias and give custody to the mother....so if the mother lost custody, she was reeeeally fùcking up.
Charles McChristy 1 year ago
I would erase her from my life. I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to do. Unforgiveable.
#3
I received a phone call from my late husband’s girlfriend the day of his funeral. She was phoning his cell phone which I had turned off while he was in the hospital. She told me that my husband had been paying her rent for the last year. The bank had recently foreclosed on our house. I had no idea he was unfaithful to me but she knew all about me.
Phoenix 1 year ago
I wonder why the mistress continued the relationship if she knew he had a wife, like what? Dump his a*s!
Papa 1 year ago
Did you miss the part where he was paying her rent? She was getting what she wanted, and didn't care that he was married.
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sharyn turnicky 1 year ago
Why else would she call? Or did she just want to let wife know their marriage was a sham?
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Kate Priestley 1 year ago
Similar thing happened to me. I found out about my husband's affair four days after he died. We'd been together for 30 years.
3 Otters 🦦 1 year ago
Lesson: always have life insurance. And make sure the policy can not have the beneficiary changed without that beneficiaries consent. Of course you have to e able to afford it. 😞
#4
Woman in my town, after she died, people were clearing her garden and found what they thought was a model skeleton Yeah her husband went mysteriously missing in the mid 90s...
Auntriarch 1 year ago
So I have just said to Mr Auntriarch that after we've gone we should get someone to bury Charlie the skeleton in the garden. He said no, board him up under stairs. You can see why I married him
Ian Reynolds 1 year ago (edited)
I just clicked the link, I know this story, it is from my old village. I met the women a few times I used to serve her when I worked in the local Spar. She told everyone her husband emigrated to New Zealand, and everyone believed her. After she died they knocked down the flats she was living in, she had a garden off her ground floor one and the body was there.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
And she never took a vacation because she had to constantly mow the lawn, it was fed so well....
The Original Bruno 1 year ago
Persistent Fungi in the yard would be one hint.
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#5
My BIL died in an accident, and his wife found out by going through his phone that he was sleeping with several other women. Many of whom were pretty close in our "friend group" and some were also married. It was quite awkward and got pretty messy.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
I was witness to a similar experience. It got messy when the truth came out, but after the dust settled everyone managed to repair their lives to a better version.
Bubs (he/they) 1 year ago
it's good that everyone was able to repair their lives for the better, not all stories like this end in a happy ending.
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Robin Roper 1 year ago
I know it wouldn't be kind but I'd blow up each and everyone of the AP's lives.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
Secrets... Or "Not So Secrets"... Come out after someone dies. It's happened here... There's a lot that we've found out after one of my neighbours died. A Lot. But we're supporting each other. So?... It's... They're dead now... He was a horrible person so... Let's support each other and try to get on with it
#6
My nana always gave me a kind of uneasy feeling when I was around her, and I didn't adore her or anything, but I definitely thought of her as just a regular old lady up until her death.
Then, after she died, my mom confessed to me that my nana used to be a religious zealot, so much so that she would scream at her for hours for having her fly down, or wearing slightly-tight jeans, because she was "inviting the devil" or something. She would take my mom and her brother into the backyard and force them to brutally beat eachother with sticks. And when my mom's brother was killed in a car accident, my nana openly mocked him at the funeral, stating he deserved to die (because he drank underage, I think? not while driving, he didn't drive drunk. just..... in general), that he was burning in hell, good riddance........ ect,,,
She was a monster. My mother had to run away at 18. My nana only "calmed down" when my mom had kids, because she'd wanted "grandbabies", and being the forgiving person my mom was, she let her back into her life, on the promise she never did to us what she'd done to her.
My mom may have forgiven her, but I haven't. She didn't really change, on the inside......... and looking back I can see just how much my nana's abuse shaping my mother's life/mental health for the worse, how she never ended up 'recovering', in the end. Awful. I wish I could tell my mom what I know now about trauma and all that, wish we could really Talk about it now that I'm an adult..... but it's too late for that now,,, (EDIT: for those wondering, my mother has also passed away. that's what I meant by "it's too late for that now")
Rebelliousslug 1 year ago
Learning about my mother’s trauma also taught me a lot about who she was as a person and played a large part in me forgiving her for things in my childhood I had held onto resentment for. Sometimes, you don’t even really know the people you think you know best.
Christina R 1 year ago
I was abused/beaten VERY badly by my father when I was a child. As an adult I came to learn that his mother (my nan) beat HIM really badly, and that my nan's mum (great grandmum) beat my nan all the time. I decided that the abuse would end with me. I have no kids.
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Happy Onion 1 year ago
My aunt probably can't figure out why I'm so ambivalent about my grandfather. Almost everyone in the family was so upset when he passed. He beat my mom when she was a kid. One time with a belt, literally to the point that she peed herself. There's a huge age difference (20+ years) between my mom and my aunt so my aunt had a very different childhood. They were discussing him one day and mom mentioned how hard his hands were. My aunt said, "well, he never hit you." My mom replied, "no, he never hit YOU". I think it was left at that. My aunt probably thinks my mom just got a few spankings.
#7
My buddy's mom totally killed my buddy's dad. She had taken a $200k life insurance policy out on him 6 months before he died, and he died from not taking his medication that he'd taken no problem all of his life. My buddy was away for the weekend so wasn't home when his dad died. After his mom died, we found out she'd taken a life insurance policy out on my buddy at some point too, and she'd also forged his signature to sign over $100k my buddy's dad had left to him. She also faked illnesses to get prescription drugs and had little books filled with info on what she'd sold and how much she'd made from selling them.
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
Um, yeah…. On behalf of humanity, please allow me to apologize for that absolutely F**king, d**n S*hitty life you have been exposed to. And, the unquestionable, apology to your buddy too. That’s horrific. Good luck to you both.
#8
Had a cousin who died a few years ago. Went to his funeral and was walking around hugging his wife and kids and giving them my condolences when a lady and a two teenage boys walked in. Nobody knew who these people were so of course my great aunt asked and she claimed to be his wife and the two boys were his sons.... Turns out all those week or two long work trips he'd been taking weren't actually work trips it was trips to see his OTHER family.
Bored Birgit 1 year ago
I wonder how someone manages living 2 lives without anybody suspecting something. There are always things that happen that make it impossible to explain to both sides (like hospital stay, holidays, short-term appointments).
#9
After my father died a few years ago, we learned that he had taken out about 40k of loans on my name. We share the same Initials (and surname obviously). He forged my signature, and kept on applying for loans and credit, got approved and never paid a single dime back. Seeing as he was the main contact, no-one ever called me to ask me why I wasn't paying my debt ... So only after he died we got contacted by institutions informing us that my father owes them money, just to find out it was actually on my name ...
So now my credit record is f****d due to years of payments not being made and I need to pay back all of these loans. Fun times right
Rebelliousslug 1 year ago
I never understood how a parent could do this to a child. We had some hard times when mine was little, but doing anything to hurt her future never even occurred to me. Some people really aren’t born to be parents.
Captain Kyra 1 year ago
It isn't a logical process. It is greed and selfishness. To get to that point someone would need to be completely warped in their thinking. Additionally a person would need to be not loving the child in the right way or at the very least see them as an extension of themselves or property.
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Kare Deter 1 year ago (edited)
This is my thought exactly. I would get an attorney to deal with it. File fraud against your deceased parent and REFUSE to pay any money. Edited to add: this is also identity theft. paying on the debt or even declaring bankruptcy may legally acknowledge the debt belongs to the OP - which it does not.
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Robin Roper 1 year ago
Get a lawyer. If the signatures were forged, the OP is off the hook. Will cost some $ but not as much as having horrible credit.
Charles McChristy 1 year ago
Why TF would you pay for this? This is exactly why you get the authorities involved.
Sheryl Logan 1 year ago
Get a lawyer and fight it. Especially if you were a minor when any of those loans were taken out or any accounts set up in your name .
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
Bankruptcy. Your credit recovers easily, especially if you have someone, maybe lawyer, who knows what needs to happen. You can find a lawyer online. You might even be able to contest the charges if any proof that you didn’t do this, that’s straight up FRAUD, which is illegal.. its a lot of work, but you are talking about relieving yourself from a level of debt you didn’t choose or apply for. But, it does take time and money (far less than 42k),; medical debt has forced myself and my husband, me in bankruptcy twice and facing another.
#10
Maybe not disturbing, but after my nanas death, I found out that she married my papa, had three kids with him all as a cover story for him being gay. This was during a time of LGBT violence in America.
The kicker is, they really pulled off the married couple routine.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
I’ve heard it as both “father” and “grandfather” in the US.
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Kira Okah 1 year ago (edited)
My parents were a cover marriage, LGBT in a time when being LGBT was illegal. They can be themselves now, and absolutely are doing so, at least in this country. They would not be welcomed back in Malaysia, where it is still a crime and they would probably be murdered.
I heart Boo-BI-es 1 year ago
Man, I so wish I saw this post before I commented on the post just prior lol. This is shocking to some I'm sure, but if both parties were on board and had a loving family and support, I'm all for it. I just don't agree when it happens to an unsuspecting partner. I don't mean that if you realize during your marriage that you're gay then talk with your partner and take it from there. It's wrong when they are out cheating and possibly bringing back stds to the innocent partner. I hope this is just one big happy, loving family.
The Original Bruno 1 year ago (edited)
I knew an elderly man who was T. Had a wife and kids he loved very much. He wasn't totally without issues, though: he was essentially orphaned at a very young age, and had adopted a child who turned out to have been a crack baby. [He loved this child very much, but the difficulties of parenting a 'crack baby' don't end when the baby grows up! But it was very difficult finding a therapist because he couldn't find any secular therapist who didn't understand he didn't WANT to live life as a woman. He wanted to live as a father and a husband to his family. They eventually learned long after they grew up, decades before he died.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
Just because they weren't sexually compatible doesn't mean they couldn't have a healthy and loving relationship. Shocker: sex is not actually the cornerstone of a healthy and loving relationship.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
Wait, so there’s no more LGBTQ+ violence in America? I think OP meant violence was more overt & there were legal ramifications, to being queer, because if we’re taking prevalence of violence…
iluvanimals 1 year ago
There is still violence on the LGBTQ community, but there was a time people couldn't let it be known because they knew they would be killed, possibly hung. And no one would be held liable. The community now has a lot of supporters and laws to protect. It's a dangerous world out there right now for everyone though.
Load More Replies... Janet Graham 1 year ago
Many couples in that situation were actually best friends and that is what makes any marriage work.
Marie Buschheuer 1 year ago
This is funny ... because same in my family! Some of the neighbour guys had beaten my grandpa so bad, he had go to the clinic. After he married my grandma and get a daughter, everything was fine. But it was horror for the rest of my family, 'cause he wanted to control everything and my mum and me had to be "perfect"
#11
When my neighbour died of old age her adult children were organising her funeral. Her husband had died many years previous. A woman arrived from England upon hearing of her death. It turns out she was their sister. Their mother had had her when she was a teenager and gave her up for adoption. They kept up regular correspondence up until the mother died. No one knew. Her other children were shocked. I’m not even sure if her husband knew.
Her children were really upset that she never told them. On a positive note, I think they all keep in regular contact now. This is Ireland by the way, so there was huge stigma at the time about having children outside of marriage.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
I'm glad it ended positively, altho maybe the mum should've told her adult children, esp as her husband had died?
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
She may still have suffered feelings of shame? of guilt? People knew, in her community, have no doubt.
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Eastendbird 1 year ago
That's what used to happen in Ireland. Women would go to the UK to have the child adopted or to get an abortion (she took the boat). Thanks to the Catholic Church owning Ireland in the past.
#12
My grandpa had stashed what would be worth millions today and proceeded to convince his family they were poor and had almost no money. His family lived in poverty while he lied to them all.
David Paterson 1 year ago
Windfall! Don't contest the will or the court could tie the money up for over a decade.
eame 1 year ago
My dad has done this. We know he has the money. He has early stages of dementia now and we're trying desperately to get him to give us the information before it's too late. Some bank will probably end up keeping it all.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
At the end, my mom left of list of where all her financial assets were. She also listed where they weren't. ("There is no safety deposit box" saved me trips inquiring at the dozen banks she did business with.)
Load More Replies... #13
I had a brother who had some paranoid delusions (FBI, CIA following him, spying on his apartment, etc). We (my brothers and I) had tried to get him help and he would just have no part of it. After a few years, it seemed like it had gotten better. He stopped bringing it up and we felt like it must have just passed. After he died, we found his journal and it was just horrifying. Right up until the night he died, he detailed all of the torture that they were inflicting on him - weird s**t that I can't even write in here. It was just incredibly disturbing to read what a tortured life he was living inside his mind while acting relatively normal outside.
Edit: Many people have asked me to go into more detail on what he wrote. I can't go into much detail - it's hard for me to write about. Briefly, he believed that they were using some type of focused energy beam to torture him. They focused on different parts of his body at different times. Every noise that an appliance made was proof of electronic surveillance. Every bump on the wall or person walking in an adjacent apartment was a message from either the "bad" FBI agents or the "good" FBI agents.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
The poor sick brother had to hide his illness, which generally helps said problem to grow, so that his family would stop trying to fix him rather than accept him. Such a scary and lonely existence.
Kate 1 year ago (edited)
Schizophrenia isn't a matter of "accepting." It's not a personality quirk or a mental disorder; it's a degenerative brain disease. Saying his family needed to accept it instead of trying to help is like saying someone needs to accept that they have cancer instead of treating it.
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Christina R 1 year ago
My nan had something along these lines. Was convinced that there was a secret factory in the small row home next door to her. Kept hundreds of notebooks over 30+ years of their comings and goings, of the noises coming from their flat, of when they brought groceries into the house. It consumed her life and made her difficult to be around. She was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and commited a few times after she spent all night banging on the party wall with a heavy metal pan. Poor neighbours.
Memaw Mitch 1 year ago
This doesn't sound like everyday paranoia, this sounds like schizophrenia.
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Rebekah Fuentes 1 year ago
I know from experience, sometimes it's easier to tell a lie of omission rather than sharing the truth. Most people don't want to hear the actual truth even if they say they do.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
My BIL had this mental disease. It started with shrooms and meth and cults, then antidepressants. He never recovered, and ran away to the wilderness.
#14
That for the first few months my mother was pregnant with me the entire family thought she was dying from an ovarian tumor. She was 41 and it was the 1960s, her doctor at the navy hospital just assumed she was too old to get pregnant.
JenniB 1 year ago
When I was pregnant at age 36 my doctor wanted me to go under the care of an OBGYN that specialized in "geriatric pregnancies" LMAO that was only 12 years ago so imagine a 41YO pregnant in the 1960's! When will doctors learn 40 is the new 20;)
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Steve Hall 1 year ago
When I was young I was told that women couldn't have babies after they were 40, they were too old. That was around 1960.
Sylvia Baker 1 year ago
That's a lousy doctor... my mom had my baby sister at 40 in the sixties
AnnaRachelle 1 year ago
I had a baby at 41. She is 4 now. I was informed that my pregnancy was a geriatric pregnancy lol
Louisa johnson 1 year ago
My mum had my youngest sibling at 41 in 1997, she was raised old school, Sunday school, church type of family. She did not know she was pregnant until almost 6 months in because she thought it was the menopause. My youngest has just turned 2 and I would like another soon. I turn 40 this year and feel my biological clock is ticking louder and louder each day. But studies show that older women are having babies more than teenagers in the UK right now. It's definitely not so taboo
Alicia M 1 year ago
I just turned 50 and I could still get pregnant if I hadn't had my tubes tied. I still have totally normal.periods. I had my 3rd child when I was 40.
I heart Boo-BI-es 1 year ago
Yes, you technically could still get pregnant but I wouldn't suggest it at the age of 50. It's extremely high risk for both mother and baby.
Load More Replies... Janet Graham 1 year ago
Military doctors are the worst for female issues. Even today with so many female veterans and active military, the doctors act like they have no idea.
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
In a …um, no words….victim of military medicine…….just have no words.
#15
Family friend that passed was having sex with young male prostitutes, had his wife hooked on drugs that he provided with his doctors license, and had spent all of their money even though they had been rich so that they were destitute and his wife and kids had no idea. She lost the house a month after he died unexpectedly. She and her kids are doing fine now. She's recovered and remarried.
I heart Boo-BI-es 1 year ago
This is just sad imo. This man was educated and had success with his career/money. It's truly awful what ended up happening to his wife, who probably thought she had fallen in love with this great man and got married and even started a family. I'm sure to those around them, who probably thought they were living a pretty great life were shocked to find out, it was all a lie essentially. I am a member of lgbtq community and I understand that not everyone can come out for one reason or another but why hurt more innocent people. Even marrying the opposite sex to hide,is horrible imo, if the spouse is unaware of his sexuality, but why have kids too? I feel like it's selfish in some ways. But happy that the woman has remarried and hoping the family can heal.
lonesoul 1 year ago
It's not selfish in some ways. It's selfish in every way.
Load More Replies... #16
My grandparents were horrible to my mom. Telling her she deserved other kids hitting her or not believing her when it happened, telling her "Good, I'm sick of you anyway" when she threatened to run away, physical abuse, spending as little money as possible on her, NEVER showing any kind of affection, etc... I never knew them that well and I'm kinda glad for it tbh.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
Either I am OP's mother or this is much more widespread than anyone knew. Sadly, this is the "life" many unwanted children face/faced/will face.
Wolf Black 1 year ago (edited)
Respect for all the parents that get treated the worst by their parents but they decide not to treat their kids that same way
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
I left home at age 15, emancipaed myself. Declared a legal adult via courts. I left but had to go back for a while. The mental and physical abuse was.. It's... At least I left...
Nicola Mawson 1 year ago
My mom broke the cycle of physical and emotional abuse she suffered. She could never hug me though. Thanks to her, I can hug my kid
#17
An old, rich man my mom use to run errands for not only offered her $5000 to sleep with him, but he also told her he couldn’t wait till I was 18 (I was younger than 12 at the time) and tried to make an arrangement to pay for my presence once I was 18.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck
Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
The more I read about rich people, the happier--okay, let's make that "less sad" - - I am that I never was.
#18
My uncle had a son he never told us about for 25 years
You stole that from Robocop 1 year ago
I was in my 30's when I discovered I had an uncle I'd never met. My granddad was married before my grandmother and his first wife died of TB. Once my mother was born they made him stay with his mother's parents. I always thought that was pretty cruel.
#19
She had been cheating on me all through our marriage.
When the shock subsided, it was replaced by rage and betrayal. I lost it and I just started destroying and trashing everything of hers.
The only thing I didn't destroy or throw away was her urn. I gave that to her parents. I seriously thought about flushing her ashes down the toilet, but I decided not to.
I completely got over her in record time.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
It would be quite a shock to find out your recently deceased, beloved partner cheated.
Winnie the Moo 1 year ago
Good for your conscience that you gave her ashes to her parents. Good for you!
#20
I had the best grandpa growing up. Like typical movie grandpa. He was perfect. Spoiled us like crazy great corny jokes always had crazy silly story’s. always saved the day. Just the best man I knew. After he passed one of my aunts told me and my little sister he had cheated on my grandma with her own sister multiple times. We never knew. Wish she never told us.
Danni 1 year ago
You don't have to be a good husband in order to be a good dad/grandad. I hate this for your grandmother, but your experience in your relationship with him shouldn't be tarnished by his mistakes in that relationship.
WayoftheStarPrincess 1 year ago
Exactly this. As far as I've understood, my grandpa was a cheating husband and a useless father. He was also a pretty bad grandpa to one of my cousins (learned that as an adult) but to me he was the sweetest man ever. He would take me and my younger sibling out on his boat to get ice cream from the other side of the lake, he'd cook all sorts of fancy fish dishes for us and never refused when we wanted to play board games. I wish my entire family had known the same man I did as a child, but alas.
Load More Replies... iluvanimals 1 year ago
What if she was lying, did she give you proof? Inheritance issues? Because it sounds like she wanted to go nuclear evil for some reason.
#21
I once had a friend whose dad died.. and he never really talked about it but he was pretty troubled. Every year on his death date, they would have a celebration of life party. He invited our friend group one year and we were all excited to be there to support him. Turns out his dad died in a car accident involving a drunk driver. The dad was the drunk driver and also killed the family he hit.
Phineas T 1 year ago
That's likely why the friend was "troubled" imo, I can only imagine the amount of shame clouding the love for a father...
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Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
I would make a yearly generous donation to a reputable charity that either fights drunk driving or helps victims of drunken drivers.
#22
My great grandfather had a whole other wife with 7 children he told no one about.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
I always wonder that as well as how in the world do you hide the two families from each other for so long?????
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
The chief deterrent to committing bigamy is the extra set of in-laws.
Robin Roper 1 year ago
Who are these people who can afford full second families? What is their salaries?
#23
My uncle on my mom's side went missing around January 7, 2000. When my cousin Adrian went looking for him, he found him in his closet with a belt around his neck. After that everyone pieced together, based on weird conversations and his behavior, that it was my uncle who had set fire to my family's apartment's front door about a week prior, December 30, 1999. That fire left my family psychologically and physically scarred and my mother dead. Apparently my parents were fed up with giving him booze-and-smokes money.
#24
one of my good friends was shot last year, he was one of the nicest guys i knew, he always calls everyone he knew checked up on them made sure everyone was okay and was really supportive of everyone.
move forward a week or two after his murder someone was arrested due to a murder that happened a few days before my friends. turns out the guy who was arrested was the cause of multiple murders (yet he had perfect alibi’s everything) except we later found out that my friend was working for him, was getting paid 5-10k per person. when my friend got murdered it wasn’t a random shooting. it was a revenge hit. no one saw it coming but everything soon made sense
Rebelliousslug 1 year ago
I’m glad everything son made sense because this entry doesn’t make a lot of sense; a very confusing read.
MagicJacket 1 year ago
The "nicest guy they knew," got shot, as a revenge killing because he was actually a hitman, who was getting paid 5-10K to kill people. So not that nice a guy.
Load More Replies... Purplescales 1 year ago
so the friend( who seemed like the nicest most caring friend) was a hitman who got whacked in revenge. The person who got arrested shortly after who always had the perfect alibis was the dude who was hiring him to kill everybody
#25
Nothing terribly exciting but I found my mother's rehab journal a few months ago, 15 years after she drank herself to death. Guess she cheated on my Dad with that guy from the gastric bypass support group who she brought around to our family functions quite a few times. Not sure if my Dad ever read the journal and found out, but him and his husband are living the life now and I'm not going to bring it up.
Rebelliousslug 1 year ago
Good for dad!! No reason to rain on his parade now, nothing can be done about it so I wouldn’t see any reason to tell him either.
brittany 1 year ago
only reason to tell him is so he can get tested for STDs but if he is doing that periodically like everyone should be, he's likely fine so i agree, no reason to tell him
Load More Replies... Kare Deter 1 year ago
"him and his husband" if not a mistake, is telling on why she would "cheat" and drink herself to death. This is so sad, they should have divorced and gone on to more fulfilling relationships for them both - nice to see that he has one now.
Tamara Augustine 1 year ago
Dude could be bi and a faithful husband, unlike his wife the cheater.
Load More Replies... LGBTQpanda 1 year ago
Wow! That is a lot to unpack from one paragraph, but glad dad is good now.
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
Question. Your Dad now has a husband. Would it be possible, maybe, that they were friends who married to protect him from being outed? Cause, like people might (job, social circle, etc,), like, have had an issue and make trouble. They might have agreed that she could have relationships, even that he could, VERY discreetly. I bet you won’t ask.
#26
That my grandfather beat my grandmother, to the point of causing miscarriages, and that he also beat my older uncles.
Of course, I was only 6 when he died (lung cancer), so it makes sense I never would have heard that stuff before now.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
My grandfather was an alcoholic and would go out, get drunk and then come home and beat my grandmother. My mom and aunt (from young till teens) would try to stop him. My aunt, being younger, would jump on his back and hit him over the head. The next day he'd wake up and wonder why he was sore. "Maybe you fell down on the way back from the bar." This was never a secret. My mother talked about it openly.
A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
Your father was a monster. I can say that, because I had one too. You are not a monster , correct? It’s not contagious, because I’m not a monster. Then, do your best, and it will take time, to remember you are not he, so you are NOT a monster.
#27
When my great grand mother died my grandma introduce her half sister to the family. Apparently my great grandpa had an affair... the funny thing is at that she went to school with my grandma. No one wanted to tell my great grandma though.
#28
My grandma (dad's mom) was one of my favorite people before she died when I was 14. She was extremely sweet, generous, and gave good advice. My brother and I stayed with her and were alone with her all the time, and she never mistreated us or in any way acted unusual. I found out only a couple weeks ago at 33 years old that she was a severe alcoholic who would get drunk almost daily up until her death. My dad said she would beat him and his brothers when they were kids, and as adults would still say severely psychologically abusive taunts while grinning at their faces. I never had even the slightest inclination- and this is coming from someone who grew up with an alcoholic step dad and a near-alcoholic mom.'
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Because of societal pressure, is why. We've had it crammed down our throats that family is everything, families stick together, blood is thicker than water, etc. leaving many parents too guited to NOT allow the g-parents to have a relationship with their kiddos. Case in point, my sister allowed my nephew to be around our pedophile father and our mother who harbors his secret because they're family and my nephew should be able to have a relationship with them or else that looks bad on her and adds to interfamily conflicts. She's a moron.
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Kare Deter 1 year ago
My parents were abusive alcoholics - they had contact with their grandchildren - SUPERVISED only and were called out on the spot for saying/acting in any manner I found offensive/abusive.
Carole 1 year ago
You shouldn't. As the grandchild in this kind of situation, I can tell you that I felt deceived, disappointed and sad and disgusted at having been close to my grandmother after I learned the truth about her abuse towards my mother and her siblings. She never corrected her mistakes or apologised, she just acted like nothing happened, like she had been a great a parent and that's it. At most she just didn't abuse her grandchildren. There's nothing admirable about this. In Op's case it's even worse because the grandmother continued her abuse towards her children even as adults, proving she never changed.
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#29
Well I was told by my grandma that on her father's deathbed they found out he had a secret family with another wife and kids and they found out because both family's were at the hospital. He was living a double life pretty much, he sounded like a s****y person.
Mikey Kliss 1 year ago
My uncle found out at the deathbed of his "mother" that he was adopted and really belonged to my moms family (who were cousins to him until then)
Kare Deter 1 year ago
Seems to be a lot of these. Ladies! Pay attention to finances, it is pretty hard to hide an entire family from someone paying attention. (in this day and age anyway)
Michael Largey 1 year ago
If you have to have a second wife, pick a rich one.
Load More Replies... #30
That my aunt that was stealing from my grandmother. The aunt was withdrawing money of of my grandmother's bank account even after she died.
The aunt said my grandmother had a gambling problem but there was no way my grandmother could leave her house by herself. (that was why my aunt had access to her bank account).
Means i dont have to see my aunt again which i am happy about.
Amanda Hunter 1 year ago
My sister did the same thing, she'd estranged herself from the family for decades but started showing up at Mum's house when she was elderly. She stole hundreds of thousands from her. We don't talk, she's a nasty resentful person.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
I don't know where this story takes place, but in New York State the bank will freeze an account the instant they find out the account owner is deceased. Aunt might have had hours, but certainly not days, to do her withdrawing.
#31
Apparently my grandfather's sister is actually his sisters daughter AND apparently their dad was the father.
I really hope the 2nd part isn't true. I think my pa died having no idea what his father had allegedly done
KieLeaHar 1 year ago
I have a very good friend whose mother had her first child at 15… To her father. But she pretended it was to the neighbour and married the neighbour to escape that life. Unfortunately, due to horrible circumstances it seems that her second child was not to her husband either, and her third (my friend) and fourth children were to different men as well. Also, her mother is as evil as her grandfather was.
Carole 1 year ago
I think Op's grandfather has 2 sisters and one of the sisters was the other sister's daughter, fathered by grandfather's father.
Load More Replies... #32
Not necessarily disturbing. My mom’s cousin died when I was 7. My mom and him were extremely close, he was even the godfather of my little sister. She took his death pretty harshly. I was always told he fell asleep at the wheel. What I found out as I got older was that he had been on and off drugs. He took the wrong concoction and ending up passing out at the wheel while driving.
My mom doesn’t like to talk about much understandably. I just found it so shocking that he had this completely different side to himself that no one really knew. Unfortunately neither me nor my sister remember much of him, but my sister is very close with his mom (our great aunt), who basically took the role of her godparent in his stead. I think it’s nice that my sister now has someone to share the brighter side of her godfather’s life.
Garthus Andicus 1 year ago
My ex best friends mom found out that her deceased father of 76 years was a murderer. After going through some of his belongings, hidden in the corner of the room, underneath the bed.... was a mutilated woman's body stuffed inside a suit case. Apparently the story was he was quite the "professional" ladies man and got into an argument with a prostitute. And instead of being civil about it he just killed her.... My ex best friends mom was absolutely mortified and had to seek therapy after the gruesome discovery.
Linda Lee 1 year ago
I'm so rocket surgeon, but wouldn't a dead body hidden in a suitcase stink to high heaven?
Load More Replies... #33
My father-in-law had a secret love child, we are not even sure he knew about them. He has been dead for 11 years, we found out about this person two years ago.
Carole 1 year ago
Just out of curiosity, am I the only person who wouldn't want to meet secret siblings/relative? Like if one of my parents had a kid from an affair, I would not want to meet or know anything about them. Don't get me wrong, I know it wouldn't be the kid's fault, I wouldn't be mean about it, I would just want for us to keep living our separate lives.
Robin Roper 1 year ago (edited)
I can't identify with this feeling at all. A few years ago, my family found an uncle had had an affair and the woman got pregnant but never told him. The oldest half sibling wants nothing to do with her but the other two have had a wonderful time getting to know her; sadly one half sibling has passed. My cousin who doesn't want anything to do with her half sister is embarrassed - "What would people think of my father?" Well, he was an alcoholic and has been dead many years; who cares! This woman didn't ask to be born and she's really nice and interesting.
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A. Starhawk Hunt 1 year ago
My father was stationed remote in Thailand when I was a kid. I remember my mother showing me a picture him walking down the road, with an obviously submissive attitude. This is in the 60’s. My mother called her his Thai wife. But I also remember my mother fighting hard to adopt a child from Thailand, I think for the girl child he sired. No such luck. So I probably have a Thai sibling that I’ve no way to trace. And, my mother had 3 boys and me, but she’d wanted daughters.
#34
When my father died, I was sitting around at the wake, just kind of thinking to myself out loud. I told my mother, "It sucks that I never got a chance to meet the other Vampedvixen." My mother was like "What are you talking about?" So I told her that our father, her husband for the past several decades, named all three of his daughters after three of his ex-girlfriends. All I know about the other Vampedvixen is she had red hair. My sister confirmed this and said she knew about it too. My mother just sat there dumbfounded, but she found it amusing in the end and was not hurt by it at all. It was just my father's way of being kind to past friends.
Kawaii Panda 1 year ago (edited)
I would definitely NOT be amused if I found out my husband named our daughters after his ex’s.
#35
My great-uncle was gay. When he died, my mom and aunt were going through his things. My aunt picked up this porcelain egg that opened up. She was confused by it's contents. When she asked my mom what it was, she told her it was pubic hair. My aunt threw it down and ran out of the room screaming. The man collected 3 different colored pubes and kept it by his bedside.
Hooked 1 year ago
Does this have anything to do with being gay ? Very unnecessary addition to the story if you ask me
MagicJacket 1 year ago
Gay folks are not known for collecting pubes. Neither are straight people, or anyone else, really.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I think the screaming aunt was obviously the real sexual wacko here.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
Not entirely, but at least it's comprehensible.
Load More Replies... #36
Found out my grandfather was wearing a toupee for most of my (and his) life that I had known him. Only found out about it when we were going through old photos and my dad remarked about it. Never saw him the same in photos again.
Lee 1 year ago (edited)
How is this 'disturbing?' Losing hair as a man makes you lose confidence. Somehow it's a social norm to tell men in that situation to just 'shave it off' when it happens too, which is a crappy thing to be told. Men want hair as much as women.
Danni 1 year ago
The only disturbing thing is that last sentence, never saw him the same?! Why? How has this in any way diminished him? Good on gramps for taking care of himself and taking pride in his appearance.
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MagicJacket 1 year ago
There should be no stigma about wearing toupees. Women wear wigs or extensions frequently. A woman with alopecia wouldn't get made fun of for wearing a wig. A man does it and people think it's fine to razz him? One of the few double-standards in life that women get the better end of.
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What do you think ?
François Bouzigues 1 year ago
More of a cool one. The day my grand father died, his brother in law tells us : "Waw, at least, i can tell it without breaking my promise. See kids, during the second world war, your grand father came in the middle of the night pale as a ghost telling he has done something stupid." Turns out grandpa was caught red handed sabotaging a railroad by two german soldiers. Since he was wearing his national railway work uniform, he managed to convince them he was trying to fix it. When the train derailled, he promptly knocked off the two soldiers (he was quite a boxer as well as a carpenter) and ran away. He confessed to his brother in law who remain silent about it for about 5 decades. Wild times. For those wondering, it was a merchandise train.
Phoenix 1 year ago
Well that was depressing. How can so many people lead double lives? Do the guilt and lies not consume them at some point?
Helena 1 year ago
I want to know how they found the time. I find one life exhausting.
Load More Replies...
Ryder Watson 1 year ago
Stuff like this REALLY makes me not want marriage or romance AT ALL. People are extremely disgusting and cruel and for what? Self-gratification, because they are upset at their partner? It so weird how people can have the time and money for this type of stuff. Whoever is watching over me, please do whatever you can to make sure I stay single for the rest of my life because this ain't it.
similarly 1 year ago
Not a disturbing secret, but a really cool secret. After my Grandma died, my Dad was going through her things and found a US ARMY driver's license for 2 1/2 ton trucks that showed she worked for the government during WWII. NEVER told ANYONE! Nobody had any idea. I guess my grandma really took that "Loose Lips Sink Ships" to heart. I love to imagine my Grandma as a young woman driving a gigantic "deuce and a half."
You stole that from Robocop 1 year ago
I'm a secret lemonade drinker. I'm a trying to give it up but it's one of those nights.
Susan Robinson-Collins 1 year ago
Too many of these were a major brain burn….very difficult to write out some stories I guess.
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago (edited)
My Papaw was the best papaw in the world. Always took us to McDonald's, gave us handfuls of quarters for the arcade, kept his cabinets stocked with our favorite candies, cookies & pop tarts, our favorite ice creams in his freezer, & a whole shelf of nothing but different sodas in his fridge. He was a friend to all, including the neighborhood kids, had a magnificent garden, & was always willing to pick us up and take us out or bring us to his house, or to lend anyone a helping hand. He was super giving, to all. Everyone loved him. Never did or even said a bad thing, to or about anyone, myself & my sister included. And no one ever had a bad thing to say about him. He was wonderful. Then I found out, as an adult, years after he'd died, that my step-grandma, who he'd been married to when I was just a toddler, several states away from us, had divorced him because a preschooler down the street from them had told her mom that my papaw had...SA'd her. She said he'd touched her in a very inappropriate way. It shook me. /1
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago (edited)
I'll never know for sure if it was true. From what I know, immediately after the accusation was made, Papaw and Granny divorced, and he moved back to our home state. I do have to wonder, considering all the kid-friendly food he kept stocked, and the fact that the neighborhood kids were always welcome at his house anytime, and welcome to the treats he had, even when we weren't there (though I don't think they actually came over that much, when we weren't, but they did sometimes, and their parents loved him too). And also the fact that I don't know why a four year old would lie about something like that, or how she would even know to, unless she was already being abused by someone else. But like I said, he NEVER acted inappropriate in ANY way toward me or my sister. And none of my friends ever acted uncomfortable around him at all. So I try to remember him for the amazing person he was to me. It's the only way I can keep my sanity. But it definitely changed the way I think about him, and it definitely tarnished his memory for me. /2/End
Load More Replies... François Bouzigues 1 year ago
More of a cool one. The day my grand father died, his brother in law tells us : "Waw, at least, i can tell it without breaking my promise. See kids, during the second world war, your grand father came in the middle of the night pale as a ghost telling he has done something stupid." Turns out grandpa was caught red handed sabotaging a railroad by two german soldiers. Since he was wearing his national railway work uniform, he managed to convince them he was trying to fix it. When the train derailled, he promptly knocked off the two soldiers (he was quite a boxer as well as a carpenter) and ran away. He confessed to his brother in law who remain silent about it for about 5 decades. Wild times. For those wondering, it was a merchandise train.
Phoenix 1 year ago
Well that was depressing. How can so many people lead double lives? Do the guilt and lies not consume them at some point?
Helena 1 year ago
I want to know how they found the time. I find one life exhausting.
Load More Replies... Ryder Watson 1 year ago
Stuff like this REALLY makes me not want marriage or romance AT ALL. People are extremely disgusting and cruel and for what? Self-gratification, because they are upset at their partner? It so weird how people can have the time and money for this type of stuff. Whoever is watching over me, please do whatever you can to make sure I stay single for the rest of my life because this ain't it.
similarly 1 year ago
Not a disturbing secret, but a really cool secret. After my Grandma died, my Dad was going through her things and found a US ARMY driver's license for 2 1/2 ton trucks that showed she worked for the government during WWII. NEVER told ANYONE! Nobody had any idea. I guess my grandma really took that "Loose Lips Sink Ships" to heart. I love to imagine my Grandma as a young woman driving a gigantic "deuce and a half."
You stole that from Robocop 1 year ago
I'm a secret lemonade drinker. I'm a trying to give it up but it's one of those nights.
Susan Robinson-Collins 1 year ago
Too many of these were a major brain burn….very difficult to write out some stories I guess.
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago (edited)
My Papaw was the best papaw in the world. Always took us to McDonald's, gave us handfuls of quarters for the arcade, kept his cabinets stocked with our favorite candies, cookies & pop tarts, our favorite ice creams in his freezer, & a whole shelf of nothing but different sodas in his fridge. He was a friend to all, including the neighborhood kids, had a magnificent garden, & was always willing to pick us up and take us out or bring us to his house, or to lend anyone a helping hand. He was super giving, to all. Everyone loved him. Never did or even said a bad thing, to or about anyone, myself & my sister included. And no one ever had a bad thing to say about him. He was wonderful. Then I found out, as an adult, years after he'd died, that my step-grandma, who he'd been married to when I was just a toddler, several states away from us, had divorced him because a preschooler down the street from them had told her mom that my papaw had...SA'd her. She said he'd touched her in a very inappropriate way. It shook me. /1
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago (edited)
I'll never know for sure if it was true. From what I know, immediately after the accusation was made, Papaw and Granny divorced, and he moved back to our home state. I do have to wonder, considering all the kid-friendly food he kept stocked, and the fact that the neighborhood kids were always welcome at his house anytime, and welcome to the treats he had, even when we weren't there (though I don't think they actually came over that much, when we weren't, but they did sometimes, and their parents loved him too). And also the fact that I don't know why a four year old would lie about something like that, or how she would even know to, unless she was already being abused by someone else. But like I said, he NEVER acted inappropriate in ANY way toward me or my sister. And none of my friends ever acted uncomfortable around him at all. So I try to remember him for the amazing person he was to me. It's the only way I can keep my sanity. But it definitely changed the way I think about him, and it definitely tarnished his memory for me. /2/End
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