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Raising kids is a tough job. In fact, 41% of American parents say it is tiring, and 29% say it is stressful all or most of the time.

Unfortunately, the many misconceptions surrounding this challenging endeavor add even more confusion. For first-time moms and dads, listening to all the contradictory philosophies telling them what to say and what to do can be especially frustrating.

So when Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT made a post on the platform, asking people to share the parenting myths that they would like to see disappear, the replies came rushing in.

Image credits: BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT

#1

30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Dads are more than babysitters.

It's been 20+ years since I was a single father, but the attitudes towards men and parenthood haven't changed as much as they should have.

Don't ask a dad if he is giving mom a break today.
Don't assume dad doesn't know how to settle down their child.
Don't stare at dad at the park when dad is there with his kid(s).
And for god sake can businesses install a change table in the men's washroom!

keiths31 , Anna Shvets Report

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Thrillion
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ALLL of this. The last one is especially annoying. I have been a single dad with 100% custody. Fed kids healthy food and clothed the kids with fresh clothes everyday. I met their emotional needs for two parents worth. Worked full time. I was present and we had some fun times too. The Father's Day shtick about dads being useless needs to go. Its 2023, a Dad's role has changed. I'm not saying we should be appreciated like single mothers or even mothers who do all the work, I'm just asking for less ridicule.

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    #2

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That there's a "right" way to parent. (Clearly, I'm not talking about things that qualify as abuse.) Breast feed? Great! Bottle feed? Great! If your baby is fed, that's awesome. Let the baby set the schedule? Great! Worked to get your baby on a schedule that works better for you and your family? Great! If your baby is healthy and cared for, that's awesome. And on and on. Every stage of parenting has some dichotomy of "do it this way to be a perfect parent." Kids are all different. Families are all different. Do what works to develop an amazing human and keep your own humanness intact.

    Somewhereoverrainbow , Vidal Balielo Jr. Report

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    #3

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Picking up your baby too much will spoil them. Ffs… pick up a crying child and meet their needs - sometimes which is a just a need for comfort and bonding with their caretaker.

    laurenderson , Tatiana Syrikova Report

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    Lucy B
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My idiot of a FIL told me that my SIX WEEK old baby was manipulating me when she cried! Ummm, nope.... She wants her mom, comfort and food. The basics for a baby to survive. I was so mad at him

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    #4

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact You should finish your plate because "kids in Africa are starving."

    No. If I'm not hungry don't force me to eat.

    Happy_Alpaca_1591 , Anna Shvets Report

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    Happy Homemaker
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad had a rule that you had to try three bites and if you still didn’t like it, you didn’t have to eat it ever again. Then the poor guy got remarried and the new rule was to finish your plate or sit at that table until the next meal and you don’t get the next meal. They quickly learned that I’m way more stubborn than they ever will be and I’m perfectly fine skipping a meal.

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    #5

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Kids are resilient and will get over stuff without it correctly being addressed.

    No, we remember everything In our tiny and impressionable brains.

    Pleasant_Tooth_2488 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The “correctly addressed” part is SO important and SO many adults blow it off.

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    #6

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact To prevent allergies, avoid giving your child these foods until they are much older…

    It has been proven over and over again that exposing your child to traditionally allergy prone foods in very small amounts when they are younger drastically reduces allergy potential. Even to the point of doing so in utero ….

    UsesCommonSense , Jill Wellington Report

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    JLS
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My FIL was forced to eat everything, even things he was severely allergic to. His parents thought he was just being dramatic if he broke out in hives or became nauseous and threw up. He never outgrew his allergies to certain foods. He doesn't go near those foods now as an adult. Having to continually ate what he was allergic to did not make him non allergic.

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    #7

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact This destructive myth that we are OWED respect and love from our kids - NOPE! They are attached to us, yes, but love and respect are earned. Fear is not respect; guilt is not love; we chose to have kids, they had no say in the matter. It is incumbent upon us to reach them by mirroring the behaviors we value.

    I_wear_foxgloves , Gustavo Fring Report

    #8

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact I'm sure it's in here somewhere, but there's a lot of evidence that corporal punishment is contraindicated in disciplining a child for a multitude of reasons. One of my friends is a PhD psychologist who researched this and even when she presents people evidence about this they just say "well I got spanked and I turned out fine" and it's like well did you really though?

    ibeerianhamhock , Alexander Dummer Report

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    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i got spanked and turned out fine other than crippling social and general anxiety dislike of certain foods i was forced to eat yeah perfectly fine

    Tamra
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad was fond of hitting us with his thick leather belt or a backhand slap across the face. It taught me that he was a violent, stupid man who couldn't control his temper, nor figure out how to discipline a child without hurting them. It also taught me that the person who was supposed to protect, love and teach me was capable of none of those things.

    Tams21
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given they have no idea what they'd be like if they weren't smacked, the people that say they they're fine have nothing to compare their current selves to and so have no idea what they're talking about.

    Ace
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well they may be 'fine' in their own minds, for values of 'fine' that include believing that it's OK to hit a child. As in, no, you didn't actually turn out 'fine'.

    ॐBoyGanesh
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    … What do kids get spanked for? Will children try to avoid getting beaten? So, are children adaptable enough to modify their behavior to avoid getting beaten? Would that include lying, misdirection, misinformation, not being forthcoming at all about anything in their lives??? Will their magic sky man indoctrination make them feel guilty for not being honest and truthful or forthcoming? Does that create cognitive dissonance? parents who hit their kids are f****d up pieces of s**t who are too goddamn stupid to figure out how to intelligently parent without using physical violence. Yeah, f**k those people. (No, I wasn’t spanked. I just detest idiots swinging their hands & fists)

    Aelin Wildfire
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's exactly why I became such a good liar: to avoid punishment from my parents. The first time I remember sneaking something I wasn't supposed to have (candy), I did feel guilty about sneaking it, so I told my mom (not for religious reasons: for moral ones). You can bet your buttons I didn't feel guilty the next time I took something, and I didn't ever tell her again. I learned to hide it thoroughly (including any evidence), I learned to sneak around the house quietly, I learned to run fast and climb trees so they couldn't catch me. Punishment only happened if/when I got caught, so I learned to stop getting caught. I learned to be very accurate in my memories so I didn't tell conflicting stories, and to -believe- my own stories as much as I could so I could hide my tells. I still often feel like I have to hide things that I know will upset people, including my own feelings, though I'm trying to do better....

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    Breadcrumb.
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spanking your kids means you are teaching them when an adult is so angry they can hit you. Instead of you know teaching them how to work through anger and communicate..

    ॐBoyGanesh
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve 2 cousins who went to Catholic school & got spanked.Their immediate family was the only Catholics in our extended family & they would scorn the rest of us as being heathens. I remember conversations their parents telling my mom & other aunts & uncles how horrible the rest of us cousins were going to turn out because we didn’t have god or discipline. Both of these cousins got pregnant before they were 16. They also learned that the proper response to any dissatisfaction is physical violence. They have no emotional response control, swinging their fists when they don’t get their way. They also have a hard time delineating between what is deserving or right and what is just their selfish wants and desires. They are an interpersonally dysfunctional human beings, who have each served a little jail time here and there for their inability to control their fists. Neither of them had custody of their now adult kids. Ya, that god & discipline really worked!

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    Sergio Bicerra
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've met some kids that goddam deserved a spank or two (not into that, more than 'let me get back to the 60's for 5 seconds please!'), but I think the ones who deserved the spank were their parents, really awful parents that loved the idea of having babies but not into parenting.

    ॐBoyGanesh
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having babies make some people feel validated and loved for a minute. It gives them attention, and puts the focus onto them. Then they end up treating them as an afterthought or at best ann accessory. And you wonder why many people believe there should be some sort of licensing and testing required to have children. Especially in our current overpopulated planet, where encouraging childbirth isn’t necessary for the survival of the species, but rather the opposite.

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    Deborah B
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe some people turn out fine, and some don't, and some struggle their whole lives without realising that a big part of their anxiety and people-pleasing is due to the repeated and often inconsistant or unfairly administered corporal punishment. Parents who spank, in my observation, are more likely to do so when they are overwhelmed or stressed, so behaviour that earns mild verbal rebuke on one occasion gets a hiding on another. Parents will also sometimes spank one child under the belief that "punish one, the rest behave better" or punish all "I don't care who started it!" The physical injury may be trivial but when the punishment is experienced as being unfair or unpredictable, it can be a significant stressor for a child - the same way prolonged domestic abuse can damage an adult.

    Suck it Trebek
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was spanked occasionally and it was scary and traumatizing and I'm almost 50 and can still feel those feelings when thinking about those incidents today.

    Michael D Bresnahan
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spanked my kid once and he started bawling and said where's my daddy I want my daddy back, never spanked him again.

    Cassie
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband said the "I turned out just fine" once when we were arguing how to discipline our children and his eyes immediately went wide as he realized that wasn't really true. He never said it again and let me decide how to discipline our kids.

    Dingeding
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    exactly my (narcissist) father. he always tells it with great pride how he did it. I didn't turn out that great. Lot of issues. Strange that I don't want to contact him anymore...

    tameson
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely. The research has been clear on this for at least 20 years. One reason why it is not yet illegal in the US are fears that criminalizing it would disproportionately impact poor and minority families. We need universal home visiting programs and parenting classes so that new parents can be taught about the research and alternative ways to discipline a child.

    Dane
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In general, I absolutely agree. However....slapping a child's hand from touching something hot? Absolutely, primarily if they are too young to "reason" with. I am sure there are other examples of this kind of "discipline". But no, corporal punishment is not needed (or called for) once a child can communicate and reason.

    Dane
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Edit - also, reasoning should be included in any kind of discipline. "Because I said so" isn't a reason. This event is a HUGE teaching opportunity to aid a child in developing social skills, moral lessons, etc, and is one of the most important roles a parent has.

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    Thrillion
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started out parenting in the spanking camp. I was discipled that way as a kid and I believed that bad actions need consequences, like training a dog. Slowly realized that kids aren't dogs. That there is two sides to every story no matter how it played out, we all need to be heard to address the underlining problem. Also, if I teach my kids that violence = control, guess what happens.... Unfortunately, I learned too late and I'm trying to undo some of the damage. My kids are happy and healthy but they sometimes use force to get their way.

    Isa's left eye
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we only spanked you when you deserved it, being dangerous or disrespectful" stfu I wasn't even in school yet, how was I even supposed to understand what I did wrong?

    Amber.exe(She/They/Ze)
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I'm fine except for the fact I cat cry infront of my parents and have anxiety when being yelled at(I was spanked for crying)

    LovingKnuckle
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Man when I was a kid parents could give permission for kids to get spanked at school if they got in really big trouble. My mom never did.

    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They got treated like they were SUPPOSED to be fine, and as a member of the first generation that was allowed to say we weren’t fine, I have some sympathy about that.

    Just a bored scp
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my dad threatened my (I think 8-ish at the time) year old brother with a giant wooden paddle, and my brother was physically punished for a while(idk why tho)

    Cydney Golden
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spanking and hitting only teach a kid violence and bullying. I had a friend who felt this was the only way to parent, otherwise kids would be spoiled. She didn't believe there was a middle ground between spoiling and hitting.

    Thomas Ewing
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Children should be taught there WILL be consequences somehow, so don't let it escalate to spanking. Don't test your limits!

    David McKendrick
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it is OK to physically assault children why is it not OK to physically assault adults?

    April Pickett
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, to tell you the truth, once you got spanked, you pretty much didn't do it again.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never had to smack my kids. Just speak to them like adults and explain to them why their actions aren't acceptable. They comply. They just want respect.

    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, my husband's thought is always "how do you know?". Both punishments *and* rewards skew terribly what the child is learning. Instead of learning to be kind, thoughtful, careful etc they are learning to do whatever it takes to avoid punishment or gain a reward. And if no one's watching nothing counts.

    Seven Soda
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who is really fine honestly? Whether you got a spanking or not, no one is perfect and life is not perfect for anyone.

    VioletHunter
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's no reason for parents to deliberately pile additional c**p on their child when it can be easily avoided.

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    Tara L.
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    🙄 a swat on the rear isn't going to damage a kid. They need to fear the consequences of bad actions. I work in the school system and I can tell you which kids are going to end up in jail as adults. The well rounded, well behaved & polite kids get a swat at home when they step out of line. The serial killers in the making have parents who follow the "Don’t tell them no" method of "parenting" 🙄🙄. You want to talk about where entitled karens, thieves, disrespectful adults come from, it's from the ones being raised with the no consequences, hands off c**p.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A child does NOT need to be hit to be disciplined! Lazy, ignorant, and violent people resort to physical discipline. If a grown-a*s adult can't figure out how to guide, teach and discipline a child without hitting them, then they shouldn't be parents! And your observations of the kids in your school are likely way, way off. I was a "well rounded, well behaved and polite kid" in school, and at home I was my dad's punching bag. Hitting a kid does NOT help them. JFC.

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    Mr. Nurse Man
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Gonna catch some flak for this, but I don’t care about it: discipline is imperative for children to develop. Evidence can be anything that supports one side or another, and just because yours supports your point doesn’t mean that mine is wrong because it supports mine. Learning what discipline actually is (spanking can be okay, but beating a kid is not; and they are NOT equivalent) is key to a parent’s ability to raise their children not to become morons we see doing bad stuff regularly.

    V
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You deserve flak for it. Spanking is violence. If you wouldn't do it to an adult don't do it to a child, all they learn is violence is how you solve problems. Spanking IS beating a child. The sooner people like you get it through your thick heads that you are not okay. You are not healthy. You think hitting a child is okay. How f**ked is that?!? You need therapy and to be removed from any children now.

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    #9

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That nonverbal kids don’t understand what you say. This one is common in the autism community.

    Kwyjibo68 , Pixabay Report

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    arthbach
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Think about what it was like in school learning a new language. You could understand way, way more than you could speak. There will be some non-verbal children and adults who don't understand, but the vast majority will comprehend.

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    #10

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact If you give your children medication you're a lazy parent who doesn't want to "deal" with your child's behaviours.

    Hear this a lot in adhd circles. Truth is in most cases not medicating can do more harm than good.

    Also why would knowingly force your teenager to go through severe depression, anxiety and hallucinations when you can ease all of that with medication and therapy? Some kids need medications to get by in life just like some adults do.

    polkanarwhal , mohamed abdelghaffar Report

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    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anti-anxiety meds were a lifesaver for me. I had no idea how bad my baseline anxiety actually was until it was removed… it was amazing. Like being able to breathe for the first time. If your kids need it, you should medicate them!

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    #11

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Don't tiptoe in silence around your baby when they're asleep.

    Yeah, sure you'll wake up them once or twice, but teaching the baby to only really sleep in absolute silence is setting yourself up for many years of problems, not to mention what it does for them (insomnia, etc.).

    Same for darkness, etc.

    You want your kid to be able to sleep through you having some friends over without having to all whisper to each other. Trust me.

    ledow , Emma Bauso Report

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    Tyke
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't say "wake them up" but mine would nap in front of the TV, out and about, I vacuumed around him... he can sleep anywhere now.

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    #12

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Having a kid will cause someone to step up/straighten out/grow up/mature/etc

    Exploding_Muffin , Tatiana Syrikova Report

    #13

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That you only have to put up with them for 18 years, and can kick them out as an adult. Maybe millennial parents forgot how traumatic that was. Kids today can't survive without financial support at least.

    Parents, listen up: KIDS ARE A LIFETIME COMMITMENT. YOU NEVER GET TO CUT OFF YOUR CHILD UNLESS YOUR ACTUAL LIFE DEPENDS UPON IT!!!!!

    MangoSuccessful1662 , cottonbro studio Report

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    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s the “I turned out fine” crowd. As someone who’s lived in conservative communities all my life, conservative philosophy effectively says that shít must always flow downhill, and if you catch that shìt then you’re supposed to be fine or else you’re a lazy whiner. And then once you’ve climbed up the hill a little, you get to shït downhill too.

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    #14

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Daughters are nightmares and sons are so easy to raise.

    The really disturbing part is women seem to believe this more than men.

    lilymunsterisaqueen , Daniel Jurin Report

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    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a dad of a son and a daughter, I think neither is more difficult than the other.

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    #15

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Forcing a child to share an item that they don't want to when it belongs to them is somehow a good idea.

    CharliePixie , Jep Gambardella Report

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    Seven Soda
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But why is it bad? Why shouldn't children be taught or strongly encouraged to share?

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    #16

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Your motherly instincts will just kick in and suddenly you'll love the baby and be an amazing mom.

    I'm sure that happens for some people. I have ASPD and have never felt that way towards the kid I gave birth to.

    triangularnipnops , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Brendan
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought I would fall in love with our baby as soon as I found out my wife was pregnant. It didn't happen. I then thought I would feel like a Dad as soon as he was born. Again (to my disappointment), that didn't happen. Fortunately, it wasn't long before I felt like a Dad, but I can confirm the instincts aren't always there.

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    #17

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact You can not spoil a newborn.
    Their brain is still quite underdeveloped, and actually, by refusing to answer their calls, you can give them self-regulation issues as they develop without that safety in processing new stimuli.

    Edit - I guess the myth would be that you *can* spoil a newborn. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

    Second edit due to replies - I said newborn because I meant newborns. Not babies that need to be practicing lifting their head, etc. There are people who start fussing at parents about this as soon as they bring their newborn home, forgetting that this baby is experiencing everything BRAND NEW, and needs a safety system.

    And also I did raise two humans, and I very much remember being a new mom.

    TinyGreenTurtles , Marcin Jozwiak Report

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    Lisa
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Up until age 3 there brain is creating many new brain waves and developing (like 25-75%), a lot of the damage is done (when parents neglect and don’t respond to their children) before then and connections can never be reformed. The book the nurture revolution explains it best, so it’s beyond newborn forth trimester too!

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    #18

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That all parents, specifically mothers, have an instinct that will kick in eventually and your child will be your world.

    Mine told me from a very early age that I wasn't the kid she'd wanted, I was ugly, fat, whatever - I finally ended things completely this year when she told me she's always hated me and never wanted me. I needed the closure.

    She made my life hell, especially since she had two kids after me that she loves.

    My daughter hasn't ever been shouted at (by that I mean raising my voice) hurt, or made to feel like less than the wonderful person she is. I suppose I can thank my mother for showing me how not to be.

    earthtomanda , Kristina Paukshtite Report

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    VioletHunter
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen it happen that some people just cannot really love one child but love another. Those people did their utmost to never let that child know or find out. OP's mother was a jerk.

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    #19

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Autism is caused by vaccines...

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    #20

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Throwing a cup of cold water in the face of a child who is having a tantrum will end it. My mother did it to us as children and it only ever escalated the situation. The kid is still screaming, now also scared, crying and soaked. Who TF thought this was a good idea?

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    #21

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That love, respect and fear are the same thing. They're f*****g not.

    LaliMaia , Ketut Subiyanto Report

    #22

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That a child shouldn’t be exposed to a second (or third) language until having mastered their native language. I’ve heard this so many times from people who have no idea about multilingualism.

    lrbdad626 , Yan Krukau Report

    #23

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That children don't understand and they are just exaggerating when they say they feel sick, depressed, etc. If your child feels sick, take them to the doctor, if your child is mentally unwell, try to get them help. And I say this as a child that everyone thought was just "weird", "too energetic" etc..

    SomeCatLovingLoser , Ivan Samkov Report

    #24

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact "Nobody regrets the kids they have only the ones they don't".

    LordyIHopeThereIsPie , Anna Shvets Report

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    Ace
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I hate that some people still try and use such büllshït to emotionally blackmail those who choose to be childless. No, I will never regret it.

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    #25

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact People who say "My parents whipped my a*s when I misbehaved and I turned out fine" typically didn't turn out fine.

    DickySchmidt33 , Nicola Barts Report

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    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They got told they’re supposed to be fine and they don’t want to look like whiners. I want to hire Maggie Gyllenhaal to reprise her character from Mona Lisa Smile https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RtxJV3zszaE&t=135s&pp=ygUVbW9uYSBsaXNhIHNtaWxlIGZpZ2h0

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    #26

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Staying together for the kids is healthy.

    All it does is model unhealthy relationships for the child(ren) and they'll grow up thinking it's normal for spouses to hate each other, fight, yell, etc...

    EDIT: Yes, thank you, I am aware that divorce is also difficult for children and not a walk in the park and that a divorce may not be financially possible for everyone. And that it's possible to have a healthy coparenting situation in a marriage that's broken down. What I'm talking about here is marriages that are really dysfunctional / toxic / abusive and getting a divorce is an economic option. The parents who are horribly unsuited to each other and are f*****g their kids up by convincing themselves that their own s****y relationship is somehow okay to demonstrate. Lesser of two evils.

    SoldMySoulForHairDye , Gustavo Fring Report

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    Kare Deter
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents were in a bad marriage they were staying in for "the sake of the kids". My brother and I finally had enough and at 10 & 15 WE told them to just end it because WE couldn't take it anymore. They did and tho it wasn't a bed of roses for either of us afterward it was CALMER and more stable.

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    #27

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Keep peanut products away from them until older.

    Giving them smooth peanut butter when they are on solids not only adds a good source nutrition but reduces the chances peanut allergy.

    DanteSeldon , Karolina Grabowska Report

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    Levi Gordon
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 12 year old sister is allergic to eggs, peanuts, turkey, and chicken. Like, carry an epi pen allergic.

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    #28

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Sugar does not make your child hyper before bedtime.

    AlternativeEgomaniac , Ron Lach Report

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    Ace
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should be top of this list. Of all the myths here this is the one that is still apparently believed by most people.

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    #29

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That there is anything even remotely approaching a consensus on best practices when it comes to raising a child. I've only been a parent for five months and the sheer volume of confident, authoritative, and completely contradictory advice I've received has been staggering. As best as I can tell, just work on keeping them healthy, secure, and loved, and try to muddle your way through as best you can on rest.

    ETA: Folks, if you think you're the first to point out that everyone agrees that corporal punishment is, in fact, bad...you're not. I'd been including "don't beat your child" in the "keep them healthy, secure, and loved" directive, but thanks anyway.

    liebkartoffel , Monstera Production Report

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    El Dee
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's easy to parent one child well and think you've cracked the secret. Then you have another and discover that children are all different and you have to change what you're doing. No one knows what they're doing because no one CAN..

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    #30

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That kids throw tantrums. Nope. Kids are overwhelmed and have never learned how to process their emotions. When an adult dismisses the child as trying to be manipulative, tired , or just punishing them/giving into them does not solve the problem. Kids need to learn how to regulate their feelings, deal with disappointment, recognize when they are overwhelmed, etc. Unfortunately, most adults don't even know how to do that and the cycle continues.

    brontojem , Ron Lach Report

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    Ace
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This may explain why kids throw tantrums, but that's not the same as saying that they do not throw them at all.

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    #31

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Making your children hold hands (after they've been fighting with each other) will bring them closer together.

    No, more often than not, the reality is that it will drive them further apart and precipitate resentment.

    DEVILDORIGHT , Pixabay Report

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    Ubedhheij
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Now hug it out." Said by parents. "by hugging do you mean I can punch him?" said by kid

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    #32

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That you have to be one. So many unwanted kids because of peer pressure and fomo...

    EA-PLANT , Pixabay Report

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    Neb
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even peer pressure, society pressure. Some people don't even think that they can NOT have kids, because they are taught and pressured from young age by society that it is normal and they do not imagine that it is not mandatory.

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    #33

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Giving drowsy medication will make sure they get a good nights sleep.

    Thankfully its legally considered child abuse now. My siblings and i grew up being dependent on benedryl putting us to sleep that we can’t produce as much melatonin as we should. Now we all need supplements or crash hard after staying up for 3 days straight.

    Prestigious-Law65 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    catastrophegirl
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had an allergic reaction to fire ant bites in the early 80's as a young child and clearly remember the nurse at the hospital explaining to my mom that half an adult sominex (over the counter diphenhydramine sleeping pill) was an acceptable dose to use for a child my age/size for allergies, as benadryl (also diphenhydramine) was only available as a prescription at the time. and as a bonus it'd knock me out! cue laughter! yeah, after that my sister and i occasionally got dosed with half an adult sleeping pill for things like plane rides and long car trips.

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    #34

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That you "own" your child as if they're property.

    Over the last five years or so, I've been sporadically asking people when given the opportunity if they "owned their kids". A very surprisingly large majority of them said "Yes".

    People think their kids are property.

    Edit: [Wild Humans](https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=IVdPieeq8iw) for sale, but the souls will cost you extra.

    InfernalOrgasm , Greta Hoffman Report

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    Thrillion
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would like to add spouses too. Just because you're married, you don't own a spouse. Vows are given as a gift, its not a contract to lean on when things get rough. Its a promise to the other and to God (if it was a religious bonding).

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    #35

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Spanking is fine.

    It’s not and research shows it has awful effects on children and leads to an increase in mental illness.

    carlwheezerspants , Phil Nguyen Report

    #36

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Children don't have thoughts, feelings, or emotions of their own.

    Children never grow up. They'll be 14 (or 8 or 6 or any other not-adult age) for the rest of their lives.

    Children exist to serve the parents hand and foot.

    Children are furniture, objects designed to make the parents look better.

    ETA: Sounds like I have more than a few metaphorical lost siblings out there. I know I'm just a stranger whinging on the internet, but remember that you matter. You matter to your friends, you matter to your pets, you matter to the people who have chosen to share their lives with you. You're stronger than you think you are.

    KhalilRavana , Tanya Gorelova Report

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    Ubedhheij
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do some parents think kids owe them for them bringing us into the world?

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    #37

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That it is ok to hit your child.

    Asocial_Stoner , Pixabay Report

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    LaserBrain
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the only lesson that kids learn from being hit is that it's ok to hit someone if you don't like what they are doing.

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    #38

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That being cold will result in you getting a cold. My partner is 50 years old and still thinks that if she gets cold in the winter, she'll develop a cold.

    YourMothersButtox , Tetyana Kovyrina Report

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    Ace
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not entirely wrong though. Being cold can lower the body's ability to fight off infection, even though it isn't actually caused by the cold.

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    #39

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Stranger danger. Much more likely to get taken/hurt/assaulted by a family member or friend.

    teem , Kindel Media Report

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    HelluvaHedgehogAlien
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still, isn’t stranger danger a very real thing for kids, even if they are more likely hurt by family members or friends? Why and how is this a myth? (The title of the article, when I read this post, was ‘43 myths about parenting’) Have to downvote this one.

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    #40

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact Menstrual cycles synching up when there are multiple women living together.

    They don't. There's just a wide period of time between start and finish for them to eventually overlap, along with lack of proper observation and research which leads to too many personal anecdotes and not enough concrete evidence.

    There's been a few scientific studies done with a wide array of women at different points in their cycles, with varied hormonal conditions and multiple intervals of time and there wasn't a single "sync" observed.

    novato1995 , Yan Krukau Report

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    Jan Rosier
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weird, I always took this as thruth, being proven by convents of nuns etc... wonder where the myth comes from then.

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    #41

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact A quite child is a happy child. My son's class is filled with iPad children, and my god do they all have about as much happiness and charisma as a sack of dead puppies.

    Hatred_shapped , Alex Green Report

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    Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
    Community Member
    11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh we get it, your son is a bundle of sunshine and personality in comparison and you not only know exactly, what is going on in each and every household of your son's classmates but you of course do it much better 🙄

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    #42

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact It's not illegal to have the interior light on in your car while driving at night. My parents were liars!

    jimmy__jazz , Tim Mossholder Report

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    LaserBrain
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even if it's not illegal, it's quite stupid to have the interior light on while driving at night. Ruins your ability to see what's happening outside the car.

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    #43

    30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact That the kid "talking and behaving like an adult" is a sign of good parenting. Hell no, I'd get child services involved because 99 percent of the time he's being abused mentally and physically.

    Neil__6595 , cottonbro studio Report

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    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Disagree, depending on context. A child raised in a home where they interact with a lot of different adults will develop adult speech patterns and content earlier than children who basically interact only with family adults and teachers.

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