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Sibling Compelled To Look After “Disabled” Adult Sis Loses It When She Says She’s Pregnant

Sibling Compelled To Look After “Disabled” Adult Sis Loses It When She Says She’s Pregnant

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How far should you go for family? You’re obviously expected to help them out more than you would, say, your friends, but are you obligated to be at their beck and call for the rest of your life? There’s got to be some sort of limit to the relationship, surely.

One woman turned to Reddit to vent about her 28-year-old sister who expects her to clean her filthy house on her days off. Now the sister, who identifies as disabled, has got pregnant, and the woman’s worried about what this new responsibility will mean for her. 

More info: Reddit

You’re expected to go further for family than you would for friends, but this woman’s sister asks a bit too much of her

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The sister is on disability benefits, but doesn’t have any official diagnosis, and has never worked a day in her life

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Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She lives in a one-bedroom apartment with two cats and a dog and expects her sister to clean it on her days off

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Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Now she’s revealed that she’s pregnant and wants to keep it, but her sister is concerned about the baby being raised in a filthy house by a mostly single parent

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Image credits: kissaviina22

Worried about the extra responsibility this might mean for her on top of everything else she already does for her sister, the woman turned to netizens for advice

OP begins her story by telling the community that her 28-year-old sister has classified herself as disabled and gets disability benefits but doesn’t have any official diagnosis that qualifies her as disabled. She adds that her sister is a high school dropout who hasn’t worked a day in her life and struggles with normal day-to-day tasks because she’s always “too tired.” 

She goes on to say that her sister is “hysterical” about her health and has had every medical test done on her every few months but that the doctors haven’t picked up any problems. According to OP, her sister lives in a one-bedroom apartment with her two cats and a dog who make an awful mess that OP has to clean up on her days off.

OP tells the readers that although her sister has a fiancé, he’s the only one who works and doesn’t have time to clean the house because of his heavy workload. OP also shares that the couple are thousands in debt and have to borrow money from her every month just to cover their food and bills.

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To make matters worse, OP says that her sister has now revealed to her that she’s pregnant and wants to keep the baby. 

She concludes her post by wondering about the added stress and responsibility this will mean for her, especially considering she’s spending most of her days off helping her sister already. 

From what OP tells us in her post, it would seem that her sister feels somewhat entitled to her ongoing care, and cash, too. 

If you’ve ever dealt with an entitled family member, you’ll know firsthand how unreasonable they can be. So, what makes a person think the world owes them something? And what’s the best way to deal with them if they’re family? We went looking for answers.

Image credits:Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)

According to the WebMD website, an ‘entitlement mentality’ is best defined as a sense of deservingness when little to nothing has been done to deserve special treatment. In short, it’s an attitude of, “You owe me.”

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While it’s not known exactly how this mentality develops, entitlement is a narcissistic personality trait that could arise from the environment the person grew up in, the way the person’s parents treated them, and whether adults solved their problems for them.

In her article for VeryWellMind, Arlin Cuncic writes that it can be difficult to deal with people who come across as entitled and selfish. Relationships with them can create constant stress, as well as grind down your own sense of self-worth.

Cuncic suggests three ways that may help you cope with an entitled person. These include establishing firm boundaries with consequences, setting limits on what they can expect from you and being willing to deny their requests, and encouraging them to problem-solve for themselves.

OP would probably do well to put some of the above into practice before the baby arrives, or she might find herself becoming a full-time babysitter on top of her cleaning duties and constant bailouts.

What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think she should put her foot down and stop enabling her sister’s slovenly lifestyle? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers agreed that the woman has got to stop enabling her sister by cleaning up after her and helping her out with her bills, or the situation will only get worse

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Ivan Ayliffe

Ivan Ayliffe

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

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Ivan Ayliffe

Ivan Ayliffe

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

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Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

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lenka
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont know what country you are in, but in most places it is nigh on impossible to get disability benefits even for the clearly disabled. If she gets disability benefits then she has undergone all the assessments and has been diagnosed with a disability.

Stacy s
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she gets disability benefits, then a doctor or psychiatrist somewhere found something wrong. OP said she goes to many doctors, nothing is wrong with sister, and she self diagnosed. That doesn't make any sense. / That being said, sister does not HAVE to go clean her house. And when the baby comes she could call cps if it's an unsafe place, tho it sounds like she may need to adopt her neice.

Marnie
Community Member
5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. In the US, at least, you absolutely have to have a diagnosis, and it is still really difficult. My sister was helping a woman who was 70 yo, had a chronic heart condition, was almost deaf, and was now going blind. They denied her first application for disability benefits. Maybe this is a different country, and a diagnosis is not needed? I can't imagine what criteria they would have. Seems a diagnosis would be the absolutely most basic criteria in any system.

Load More Replies...
Weasel Wise
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sister needs to seek mental health help and OP needs to stop enabling such behavior. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Papa
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know if mental health is to blame for the issues or not, but I do know that as long as OP continues cleaning for her and giving her money she doesn't have any incentive to do things for herself.

Load More Replies...
Becca not Becky
Community Member
5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get her help right away. Cat poop is dangerous for pregnant women. Call animal control for the pets, and when you take her to a doctor for a prenatal visit, tell them what is going on so they can get social services involved. Then stop all support/enablement.

StrangeOne
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay. I'm going to look at this on many angles. 1. The "disabled sister" may have some mental health needs and may not have been properly assessed. General Practioners/Family Doctors are not the ones who diagnose mental disabilities. She needs to see a psychiatrist who can do the proper assessments. 2. A social worker who deals with mental health and wellness, and a child and family social worker needs to be introduced. This is such an unfortunate, heart-breaking circumstance. Unfortunately, mentally and developmentally disabled people are forced to give up their babies immediately due to their disability, regardless of the supports and how high functioning they are. This is something I worry for my own daughter on disability, who has multiple disabilities. 4. The sister needs to step away, as she is being led to be the one acting as an unofficial carer. I'm not going to say the "DS" is disabled or not. Clearly she is struggling with day to day hygiene and chores. After an assessment a

StrangeOne
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

caregiver, if a disability is actually present, can step in. Anxiety, as a chronic, consistent, daily issue, is considered a disability. There is also something called Intellectual Disability, which my daughter has, makes normal, daily tasks challenging. The less practice, attention to those areas the less able that person will be to handle those daily tasks. I'm not saying the sister has ID, but I'm just putting it out there because it is a disability that has many traits overlapping the same traits as other disability, like Autism. However, it's not the same. Those with ID can be high functioning enough to appear not disabled at all to those unaware, or just really lazy/stubborn to learn, when it's actually not like that at all. As my own ID kid's carer/advocate, I can say that you should be able to have a life, not be overly-burdened financially, not responsible for their debt, and not have to do every chore, unless that disabled person is severely infirm.

Load More Replies...
G A
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm damn sure this exact same scenario was only posted here in the last month or two. Either recycled by BP or the OP.

Surly Scot
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really sick of these posts where women are asking the community for more reasons to keep being a doormat. Stop helping her entirely, she has a fiance and a pair of hands, she can manage her life, she's just refusing to. Met plenty of these people and they never change, they just expect the world to pick up after them because they have zero interest in adulting. It's not a disability if she's been evaluated and no illnesses/handicaps have been found, it's a life choice. Call animal welfare and report the living situation for the cats and dog, it's unfair on them and YTA for enabling animal abuse. As soon as the kid is born i'd report the whole situation to child protective/social services. OP is seriously spineless.

Jessica Olson
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty much what you said except for the disability thing. If she's getting disability then she has a disability, either the OP does not know what it is or does not understand it. Is very hard to get benefits if they're in the US. You can't really fake your way through that one. (Still not the sisters problem to take care of her.) Often if somebody has a enough disability that they can't get their normal daily tasks done they can qualify for certain number of caregiver hours. If the sister is so disabled that she can't do some basic things then she should be able to qualify this for those hours and it should be somebody else's problem not the sisters (mainly the other half of the baby the fiance...)

Load More Replies...
Sarah Léon
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you can't take care of yourself, you don't add another human being to take care of. That simple. OP should simply stop to enable their sister. She has a fiancé, they have to take their own decisions and deal with the consequences themselves, like adults.

BarkingFox91
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your sisters should really get checked for POTS if she hasn't already been. The exhaustion and endless testing with no official diagnosis is very suspicious...

Margie T
Community Member
4 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on disability and had to go to court twice before it was granted in the States. Now I hear it's three times. Maybe she's getting ssi from SS but that's gonna be dropped in 2025. You need to talk to her fiancé too. I'd teach her how to pick up poo and vomit. I'd watch close, wouldn't clean for her or give her money. Who's buying the baby bottles, formula, diapers ahead of birth? You? I would move away. After baby is born if the place stinks with poo around it, I'd call CPS because soon that baby will be crawling and eating anything they can. Omg I'm going to get sick...

Sarah Ellison
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to cut the cord now, and if her sister doesn't get her act together before the baby arrives, call child services and have the baby removed from her sister's care.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shining example of setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

tori Ohno
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she's getting benefits, she can get physical help around the house for free too. Just stop going over there.

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, she is disabled - you need to be disabled to receive disability benefits. But she has a partner. Most of us manage to work and travel for work and still maintain our homes, even if we have disabled partners. He is the greater problem. He will need to parent his child too if she is unable to do so and rearrange his life accordingly. Right now, this couple has a servant and unending source of money in OP. She needs to decide the level of support she is willing to give her disabled sister. If the couple is unable to cope, then involve animal control and CPS.

Deborah B
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) Stop "Helping". You're enabling. 2) Inform her that there will be no more financial assistance, and stick to it. 3)Report the situation to the CPA equivalent in your country, even before the birth they can get a protection order. 4) Report the situation with the animals to the RSPCA or equivalent, and the landlord, because it doesn't sound safe or hygenic. Whether this woman's problem is physical or mental, or both, she is struggling to the extent that she cannot adequately care for herself, let alone parent a child. Having a social worker involved may also get the woman some support, because it sounds like she needs a mental health support worker keeping tabs on her.

H R
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I struggle with day to day tasks, I have a severely impacting adhd. And I manage something in the house.

Nina
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a call to social services is in order. Gross

Nimitz
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pre-notify CPS. That child will be utterly neglected and their life will definitely be in danger. Once the kid is born, please check in as frequently as possible and give CPS weekly or even daily updates. I've been in a position where I should have been screaming for CPS and I decided to try to help and trust: it was a massive mistake and my niece was put in danger because I hesitated. Do not make my mistake. Actively work with them and get that kid out of there asap.

Schnitzel
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Diagnosed Disability=Benefits. In most countries, I assume. Sister needs help, more help, OP can't give her and quite frankly, shouldn't have to.

StrangeOne
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not been diagnosed yet, which begs to wonder how she's able to receive disability.

Load More Replies...
Sandra Douglas
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's funny how she can have enough strength and energy to get pregnant, but can't pick up a broom or a mop, or wash a danged dish! Leave her to fend for herself, and stop making it your problem. You're not a victim, you're a volunteer.

lenka
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont know what country you are in, but in most places it is nigh on impossible to get disability benefits even for the clearly disabled. If she gets disability benefits then she has undergone all the assessments and has been diagnosed with a disability.

Stacy s
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she gets disability benefits, then a doctor or psychiatrist somewhere found something wrong. OP said she goes to many doctors, nothing is wrong with sister, and she self diagnosed. That doesn't make any sense. / That being said, sister does not HAVE to go clean her house. And when the baby comes she could call cps if it's an unsafe place, tho it sounds like she may need to adopt her neice.

Marnie
Community Member
5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. In the US, at least, you absolutely have to have a diagnosis, and it is still really difficult. My sister was helping a woman who was 70 yo, had a chronic heart condition, was almost deaf, and was now going blind. They denied her first application for disability benefits. Maybe this is a different country, and a diagnosis is not needed? I can't imagine what criteria they would have. Seems a diagnosis would be the absolutely most basic criteria in any system.

Load More Replies...
Weasel Wise
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sister needs to seek mental health help and OP needs to stop enabling such behavior. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Papa
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know if mental health is to blame for the issues or not, but I do know that as long as OP continues cleaning for her and giving her money she doesn't have any incentive to do things for herself.

Load More Replies...
Becca not Becky
Community Member
5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get her help right away. Cat poop is dangerous for pregnant women. Call animal control for the pets, and when you take her to a doctor for a prenatal visit, tell them what is going on so they can get social services involved. Then stop all support/enablement.

StrangeOne
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay. I'm going to look at this on many angles. 1. The "disabled sister" may have some mental health needs and may not have been properly assessed. General Practioners/Family Doctors are not the ones who diagnose mental disabilities. She needs to see a psychiatrist who can do the proper assessments. 2. A social worker who deals with mental health and wellness, and a child and family social worker needs to be introduced. This is such an unfortunate, heart-breaking circumstance. Unfortunately, mentally and developmentally disabled people are forced to give up their babies immediately due to their disability, regardless of the supports and how high functioning they are. This is something I worry for my own daughter on disability, who has multiple disabilities. 4. The sister needs to step away, as she is being led to be the one acting as an unofficial carer. I'm not going to say the "DS" is disabled or not. Clearly she is struggling with day to day hygiene and chores. After an assessment a

StrangeOne
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

caregiver, if a disability is actually present, can step in. Anxiety, as a chronic, consistent, daily issue, is considered a disability. There is also something called Intellectual Disability, which my daughter has, makes normal, daily tasks challenging. The less practice, attention to those areas the less able that person will be to handle those daily tasks. I'm not saying the sister has ID, but I'm just putting it out there because it is a disability that has many traits overlapping the same traits as other disability, like Autism. However, it's not the same. Those with ID can be high functioning enough to appear not disabled at all to those unaware, or just really lazy/stubborn to learn, when it's actually not like that at all. As my own ID kid's carer/advocate, I can say that you should be able to have a life, not be overly-burdened financially, not responsible for their debt, and not have to do every chore, unless that disabled person is severely infirm.

Load More Replies...
G A
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm damn sure this exact same scenario was only posted here in the last month or two. Either recycled by BP or the OP.

Surly Scot
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really sick of these posts where women are asking the community for more reasons to keep being a doormat. Stop helping her entirely, she has a fiance and a pair of hands, she can manage her life, she's just refusing to. Met plenty of these people and they never change, they just expect the world to pick up after them because they have zero interest in adulting. It's not a disability if she's been evaluated and no illnesses/handicaps have been found, it's a life choice. Call animal welfare and report the living situation for the cats and dog, it's unfair on them and YTA for enabling animal abuse. As soon as the kid is born i'd report the whole situation to child protective/social services. OP is seriously spineless.

Jessica Olson
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty much what you said except for the disability thing. If she's getting disability then she has a disability, either the OP does not know what it is or does not understand it. Is very hard to get benefits if they're in the US. You can't really fake your way through that one. (Still not the sisters problem to take care of her.) Often if somebody has a enough disability that they can't get their normal daily tasks done they can qualify for certain number of caregiver hours. If the sister is so disabled that she can't do some basic things then she should be able to qualify this for those hours and it should be somebody else's problem not the sisters (mainly the other half of the baby the fiance...)

Load More Replies...
Sarah Léon
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you can't take care of yourself, you don't add another human being to take care of. That simple. OP should simply stop to enable their sister. She has a fiancé, they have to take their own decisions and deal with the consequences themselves, like adults.

BarkingFox91
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your sisters should really get checked for POTS if she hasn't already been. The exhaustion and endless testing with no official diagnosis is very suspicious...

Margie T
Community Member
4 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on disability and had to go to court twice before it was granted in the States. Now I hear it's three times. Maybe she's getting ssi from SS but that's gonna be dropped in 2025. You need to talk to her fiancé too. I'd teach her how to pick up poo and vomit. I'd watch close, wouldn't clean for her or give her money. Who's buying the baby bottles, formula, diapers ahead of birth? You? I would move away. After baby is born if the place stinks with poo around it, I'd call CPS because soon that baby will be crawling and eating anything they can. Omg I'm going to get sick...

Sarah Ellison
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to cut the cord now, and if her sister doesn't get her act together before the baby arrives, call child services and have the baby removed from her sister's care.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shining example of setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

tori Ohno
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she's getting benefits, she can get physical help around the house for free too. Just stop going over there.

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, she is disabled - you need to be disabled to receive disability benefits. But she has a partner. Most of us manage to work and travel for work and still maintain our homes, even if we have disabled partners. He is the greater problem. He will need to parent his child too if she is unable to do so and rearrange his life accordingly. Right now, this couple has a servant and unending source of money in OP. She needs to decide the level of support she is willing to give her disabled sister. If the couple is unable to cope, then involve animal control and CPS.

Deborah B
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) Stop "Helping". You're enabling. 2) Inform her that there will be no more financial assistance, and stick to it. 3)Report the situation to the CPA equivalent in your country, even before the birth they can get a protection order. 4) Report the situation with the animals to the RSPCA or equivalent, and the landlord, because it doesn't sound safe or hygenic. Whether this woman's problem is physical or mental, or both, she is struggling to the extent that she cannot adequately care for herself, let alone parent a child. Having a social worker involved may also get the woman some support, because it sounds like she needs a mental health support worker keeping tabs on her.

H R
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I struggle with day to day tasks, I have a severely impacting adhd. And I manage something in the house.

Nina
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a call to social services is in order. Gross

Nimitz
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pre-notify CPS. That child will be utterly neglected and their life will definitely be in danger. Once the kid is born, please check in as frequently as possible and give CPS weekly or even daily updates. I've been in a position where I should have been screaming for CPS and I decided to try to help and trust: it was a massive mistake and my niece was put in danger because I hesitated. Do not make my mistake. Actively work with them and get that kid out of there asap.

Schnitzel
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Diagnosed Disability=Benefits. In most countries, I assume. Sister needs help, more help, OP can't give her and quite frankly, shouldn't have to.

StrangeOne
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not been diagnosed yet, which begs to wonder how she's able to receive disability.

Load More Replies...
Sandra Douglas
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's funny how she can have enough strength and energy to get pregnant, but can't pick up a broom or a mop, or wash a danged dish! Leave her to fend for herself, and stop making it your problem. You're not a victim, you're a volunteer.

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