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125 Top Dinosaur Puns (Plus An Interview With A Reptile Expert)

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Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? According to USGS, these giant reptiles roamed the Earth for about 165 million years before going extinct around 65 million years ago. So, besides this and them being the subject of dinosaur puns and jokes, what else is so cool about them?

Well, for starters, they were giant—an instant bonus! Second, some of them had ridiculously short arms (or forelegs, hands, front limbs), others were spiny, and some of them could even fly or spend their days pretending to be even bigger manatees than the manatees of our days.

It’s also pretty cool that dinosaurs went extinct because, in our opinion, bears and giant anacondas are more than enough to be afraid of. Hopefully, those giant reptiles won’t resurface again, or some mad scientist won’t recreate them out of DNA samples because we all know how that would end. Do we need to remind you about Jurassic Park?

Image credit: Deb Dowd

The thing that’s left out of dinosaurs—besides fossils, some petrified bones, and chickens—is their ability to inspire jokes and funny dinosaur puns. A thing that we are perfectly content with, as it’s so much easier to tease these intimidating prehistoric lizards than it would be watching them tease us. And ridicule we will!

We’ve created a list of 125 dinosaur jokes for adults and kids just to harangue about how reptiles are the best pun fodder. They are also the greatest inspiration for prehistoric but funny dinosaur jokes. So, are you ready to tickle your funny bone?

It’s probably time to end this low-key rant about how scared we are of reptiles and skip right to the funny dinosaur jokes! Besides the dinosaur jokes for kids, we researched and found an expert who kindly talked to us about real-life ‘dinosaurs’—Gerardas Paškevičius, the owner of a vast and diverse collection of reptiles.

You know what to do—scroll down below to check the interview and clever puns we’ve found on hairless ogres that once ruled the Earth, vote for the funniest dinosaur dad jokes, and share this article with your friends!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet!

22points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

That's a big burn! Literally

7points

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#2

What do you call a dinosaur after a breakup? Tyrannosaurus ex!

18points

Juan Pepito de mis Bolas 11 months ago

vaya f****n pvta mierda

0points

#3

Can you do it? You bet Jurassican.

18points

Juan Pepito de mis Bolas 11 months ago

no

0points

Where Does Gerardas’ Devotion to Reptiles Come From?

Reptile lover Gerardas also does educational programs about these creeper animals and has his Facebook page, called Džiunglių Žmogus (Jungle Man), where he shares exciting information about his unusual pets and all kinds of cold-blooded vermin. So, for starters, we wanted to know where his fascination with these scaled beings stemmed from.

And, as you’re about to see, Gerardas tells a story far from ordinary: “I’ve been fascinated with nature for as long as I can remember—I loved closely observing my environment. Thankfully, I’ve spent my childhood living near various natural habitats, which made it all even more interesting. For example, a lively rivulet supplied a pond nearby, overgrown with bushes and vast meadows. There were many animals to investigate—bugs, spiders, mollusks, frogs, toads, hedgehogs… You name it. Even reminiscing about it makes me feel the joy of exploring wild fauna!”

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#4

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.

18points

#5

Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent!

18points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

Is really p silent in pterodactyl??? I didn't know that! I'm pronouncing it wrong then! In Greek is not silent

5points

Karasi Mills 3 years ago

It's also silent in ptoaster

1point

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Ami (she/her) 3 years ago

Whenever someone guesses that answer, a good alternate is: "No, because they're dead"

1point

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#6

Why did T-Rex’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he said he only loved her “this much” (with his tiny arms spread wide).

17points

Vicky Z 3 years ago (edited)

Oh that's cute and sad! Poor dino

4points

Devotion to Exotic Pets: The Story Continues

Continuing the story from childhood, Gerardas shares: “Growing up, I was kind of an underdog—nobody understood this fascination of mine. So, feeling misunderstood, I tried to compensate for it by understanding more about those who also seemed like outcasts to me. That’s why I chose arachnids, reptiles, bugs, and amphibians as my ‘friends’—they were considered ‘creepy’ by many, and it resonated with me.”

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Furthermore, the enthusiast reveals how he saved money for his first reptile pet: “When I was around nine, I made a firm decision that I could own and take care of a snake alone. But, seeing that this fascination of mine won’t go away easily, my parents finally caved in and permitted me to own a grass-snake. With the condition, of course, I’ll save the money to buy it, and it will come out of my pocket. So, instead of spending my allowance on pastries, chocolate bars, and ice cream, I started saving it for my dream.”

“Once I did it, I knew I was about to become the happiest kid on Earth! With the adder ordered, my parents supplied the terrarium and needed decorations, heating devices, and all the other things needed for the snake’s comfortable living. And that’s exactly how Rikis, a Taiwanese Beauty Rat Snake, became part of our family. My fascination with all these ‘creepy crawlies’ grew, and soon enough, I got more pets—Afroditė, a Leopard Gecko, and Gena, a Sudan Plated Lizard. This trio still lives with me!”

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#7

What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way as fast as you can.

15points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

Also for farts

3points

#8

What do you call a dinosaur who's a noisy sleeper? A Tyranno-snorus!

14points

Vicky Z 3 years ago (edited)

Found a new nickname for my boyfriend😅😅😅😅

0points

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#9

What do you call the ghost of a dinosaur? A scaredactyl.

14points

Nixxy 3 years ago

Fun fact: pterodactyls are not dinosaurs but are instead a type of flying reptile!

0points

Social Media Presence and a Degree in Animal Sciences

After Gerardas gained some experience, he started a Facebook page called Džiunglių Žmogus [Jungle Man]. Naturally, we wanted to know where his nickname came from. Gerardas told us this: “My parents’ friends started to call me after seeing my reptiles at our home. So I took this nickname and still use it for my social media, which I use as an educational tool talking about these fascinating animals.”

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Want to meet Gerardas’ crew? There’s a whole list of them! Currently, he takes care of a Boa Constrictor, California King Snake, Sinaloan Milk Snake, African Brown House Snake, Banded Water Snake, and Plains Hognose Snake—and that’s only the snakes! He also owns a colony of Harvester ants, an African Giant Land Snail, a Salmon-pink Birdeater spider, and various exotic bugs. That’s an impressive team if you ask us!

“Growing up, my passion for animals didn’t wane, so I got my bachelor’s degree in Animal Sciences and my master’s degree in Biodiversity. With two diplomas in my hand, I understood that keeping exotic pets requires a constant deepening of knowledge! I’m delighted to have the opportunity to educate audiences about reptiles and bugs via social media—I’ve recently hit the 13,000 followers mark on my Facebook page.”

#10

What do you call it when a dinosaur has a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck!

13points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

Also when he is depressed

4points

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#11

Our local museum has opened a brand new dinosaur exhibit. I don't know if it will be popular or not. That remains to be seen.

13points

#12

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic Pork!

12points

The Guide to Exotic Pets: Tips from Gerardas

Okay, suppose you also have an obsession with exotic pets and want one of your own but aren't sure where to start. Don’t worry about where to begin with your first scaled friend; we have you covered!

Gerardas shared some tips: “First of all, figure out the laws of your location—some animals may be illegal to be kept at home, and for others, you might need to get various documentation and permits. Be sure that those living with you agree with such a pet—as with any animal, it has to be a cherished friend, not a nuisance. Once you get a green light, choose the animal you wish to acquire; different species need different maintenance.”

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According to Gerardas, the most important part of your homework comes after you make a decision. You must read about your chosen pet, talk with experts, and gain more than basic knowledge: “Don’t buy an animal on a whim! After figuring out how that particular animal lives in its natural environment, read about keeping it at home.”

“Do your research for the optimal terrarium and the devices that your pet will need, and only then find a veritable seller. Make sure that the animal is captive-bred and not wild-caught. Once your pet is home, give it time to acclimate to its new environment. All these steps are vital for successfully keeping exotic pets.”

#13

What do you call an anxious dino? A nervous Rex.

12points

#14

And what do you call a baby dinosaur? A Wee-Rex!

12points

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#15

What did they call sunrise in prehistoric times? Meglodawn.

12points

Nixxy 3 years ago

Or maybe deltadroma (pretty sure there is a dino named that and it means dawn runner)

-1point

#16

Dinosaurs can't go on boats, they cause too many Ship Rex.

12points

#17

What’s a dinosaur’s favorite drink? Rex on the beach!

12points

#18

What’s the best way to raise a baby dinosaur? With a crane.

12points

In Closing: the World of Reptiles, Jokes, and Love

Lastly, we wanted to know if there have been any unexpected or funny situations with Gerardas’ exotic pets. And there surely are, as he says: “Oh, of course, there are some curious and unexpected things with pets like that. I keep laughing that most snakes never act like they’re supposed to. For instance, Boa Constrictors are known to love water, yet in the five years I’ve owned mine, I’ve never seen her spend time in her pool.”

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“Similarly, the African Brown House Snake supposedly loves staying on the ground and in burrows. Mine chooses hanging out on branches! I have plenty more examples about animals behaving not like they’re ‘supposed’ to, but let’s leave it at that this time.”

“In the summer, I bring out my pets to soak in the sun, and while my neighbors are accustomed to seeing various snakes around the house, the passersby often stop to take a picture or ask questions about the animals they’ve probably never seen before.”

#19

Receptionist: Doctor, there’s an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can’t see her!

12points

May Day 3 years ago

Good one. I like word-play

0points

#20

What sport is a brontosaurus good at? Squash.

12points

Nixxy 3 years ago

I think they would be pretty good at golf to (basing this off of the video game ARK)

0points

#21

Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart. They described it as a blast from the past.

12points

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To close off our interview, Gerardas shared an interesting thought: “People often tell me that I spend my time caring for animals that can never love me back. Reptiles can only tolerate a human being; that heightens their ‘emotion.’ The height of human emotion is, naturally, love. Despite our emotions being different, you can still call it love! So technically, a reptile ‘loves’ its owner to the best of its ability.”

We thank Gerardas for such an in-depth view of the world of exotic pets! If you have any questions, he’ll gladly tell you more about the species you’re interested in. Simply message him on his Facebook page, Džiunglių Žmogus.

#22

What do you call a dinosaur who won't stop rambling? A dino-bore!

11points

#23

Why are dinosaurs never overweight? They’re surrounded by scales.

11points

#24

Why was the teenage dinosaur so moody? ROARmones.

11points

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#25

Where did the dinosaur clown get a job? At the carnivore.

11points

#26

What dinosaur would Harry Potter be? The dinosorcerer.

11points

#27

Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant-eater.

11points

#28

How do dinosaurs feel when they step in poison oak? Ichthyosaur.

11points

#29

What’s the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? Lefty.

11points

#30

Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? Because it was an early bird!

10points

May Day 3 years ago

Brilliant! 😁

1point

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#31

What do you call the dog of a dinosaur with one eye? Do-you-think-he-saurus rex.

10points

#32

I’m not saur-ee I came up with this half-baked pun. I feel ptero-bill.

10points

#33

What type of tool did prehistoric carpenters use? Dino-saws!

10points

#34

How do you know that a seismosaurus is under your bed? Because your nose is only two inches from the ceiling!

10points

May Day 3 years ago

That's a very high ceiling

0points

#35

What’s a child’s favorite dinosaur? A Toys-‘R-Us.

10points

#36

What do you call a polite Dinosaur? A Pleaseyosaur.

10points

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#37

Who does a dinosaur call when he’s being robbed? The tricera-cops.

10points

#38

What kind of dinosaur is made of cheese? Gorgonzilla.

10points

#39

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkysaurus.

10points

Dizz2K7 Gaming 3 years ago

C'mon, bruh... Now y'all repeating yourselves.

0points

#40

Where do dinosaurs go shopping? The dino-store!

9points

#41

What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with explosives? Dino-mite.

9points

#42

What is the best way to talk to a velociraptor? Long-distance!

9points

May Day 3 years ago

Yup.

0points

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#43

How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your fridge? The door won’t shut!

9points

Georgia Hebert 3 years ago

I thought it was the footprints in the butter! ;)

2points

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#44

What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom.

9points

#45

What was T. rex’s favorite number? Eight! (ate)

9points

#46

How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs? Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

9points

#47

What do you call a dinosaur from Canada? Torontosaurus Rex.

9points

Shane Free 1 year ago

Or an Albertasaurus

0points

#48

How do sales people approach dinosaurs in clothes shops? Try, sir, a top?

9points

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#49

What is purple and green and won’t stop singing? Barney taking a shower.

9points

xXxRachelMurder666xXx 1 year ago

i HATE barney

1point

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#50

What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!

9points

#51

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the P is silent!

8points

#52

What do you call a short spiky dinosaur who fell down the stairs? Ankle-is-sore-us.

8points

#53

How did the triceratops speed up his computer? He gave it a good RAM.

8points

Sarah Dillingham 1 year ago

I don’t get why this is inappropriate for kids 🤔🤔🤔 Aren’t they referring to RAM, as in the Random Access Memory in a computer???

0points

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#54

My pupil asked which writer wrote the best dinosaur stories. I said he should try Sarah Topps.

8points

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#55

What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time? Lazy bones!

8points

#56

What dinosaur can’t you hear go to the bathroom? All of them, they’re all dead.

8points

xXxRachelMurder666xXx 1 year ago

no its be ause the P IS SILENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0points

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#57

What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions? A philosiraptor.

8points

#58

How do you know if there’s a stegosaurus in your refrigerator? The door won’t close.

8points

Dizz2K7 Gaming 3 years ago

Ya done did it again!!

2points

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#59

What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed? Find somewhere else to sleep!

8points

xXxRachelMurder666xXx 1 year ago

like where??? not all of us can afford new rent!!!

0points

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#60

What do you call it when a dinosaur gets a touchdown? A dino-score!

8points

#61

What did the dinosaur put on her steak? Dinosauce.

8points

#62

Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? The same as short ones.

8points

May Day 3 years ago

Good one

1point

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#63

What came after the dinosaur? Its tail.

8points

#64

What do you call a dinosaur who keeps you awake at night? A bronto-snore-us (or a dino-snore).

8points

#65

What does a T-rex’s play on at the playground? The dino-see-saw.

8points

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#66

The dino-store was the favourite one-stop shop for all the prehistoric reptiles.

8points

#67

What’s the best thing to do if you see a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Pray that it does not see you.

8points

#68

Duno puns are pteroble.

8points

xXxRachelMurder666xXx 1 year ago

????????

0points

#69

What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-try-try-ceratops!

7points

xXxRachelMurder666xXx 1 year ago

LOVE THIS ONE SO INSPRAATIONAL!!!!!!!

0points

#70

What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain? A Stegosau-rust!

7points

#71

What do you call a dinosaur fart? An exstinktion!

7points

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#72

What did the dinosaur call her blouse business? Try Sara's Tops!

7points

#73

What do you call a spooky dinosaur? A terror-adactyl!

7points

#74

What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex!

7points

#75

Do you think anything could tricera-top these dinosaur puns? I dino what to tell you, but probably not.

7points

#76

What do you call a T.Rex who can’t accept defeat? A saur loser.

7points

#77

What does a dinosaur with sleep apnea do? He dino-snores.

7points

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#78

What do you call a group of singing dinosaurs? A tyranno-chorus.

7points

#79

What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyl.

7points

#80

What did the dinosaur say to the cashier? Keep the climate change.

7points

#81

What’s a sailor’s favorite dinosaur? The mast-odon.

7points

D Smith 3 years ago

Sorry. Mammal.

2points

#82

Here is your dinosaur toy! Would you like it gift raptor not?

7points

#83

You laugh now, but the skeletal remains of dinosaurs don’t find it humerus.

7points

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#84

He's all skin and bones.

7points

xXxRachelMurder666xXx 1 year ago

????? I DONT GET where is the JOKE?????????

0points

#85

How can you tell if there's an allosaurus lying in your bed? You'll see the bright red "A" on its pyjamas.

7points

May Day 3 years ago

?

1point

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#86

Why was the stegosaurus such a good volleyball player? He could really spike the ball!

7points

#87

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles.

7points

May Day 3 years ago

😄

0points

#88

What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!

7points

#89

What would happen if a 100-ton Brachiosaurus stepped on you?You’d be deeply impressed.

7points

May Day 3 years ago

🙄😄

0points

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#90

Which is the clumsiest dinosaur? Break-iosaur.

7points

May Day 3 years ago

Breakiosaurus.

0points

#91

Who is a dinosaur's best friend? Iguano-dog.

7points

#92

What dinosaur could jump higher than a house? All of them. Houses can’t jump.

7points

#93

What should you do if you find a blue Dilophosaurus? Try to cheer him up!

7points

#94

What is found in the middle of dinosaurs? The letter S.

7points

#95

What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy? You got a friend in me.

7points

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#96

Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, one Gorgosaurus and nine velociraptors!

7points

#97

Why does the brontosaurus have a long neck? Its feet smell.

7points

#98

Which dinosaur always shoots first and asks questions later? Ammo-saurus.

7points

#99

The one-eyed dinosaur passed us somewhere along the forest lane, but I am not sure he-saurus.

7points

#100

The dinosaur charged with sewing the garments for all the prehistoric animals was known as a dino-sewer.

7points

#101

When looking after dinosaurs, ensure the stegosaur-rust doesn’t stay out in the rain.

7points

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#102

What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!

6points

#103

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur!

6points

#104

What's a dinosaur's favorite quote? "Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures!"

6points

#105

What do you call twin dinosaurs? Pair-odactyls!

6points

May Day 3 years ago

Good one, but they were not dinosaurs.

0points

#106

Do you think he saurus (saw us)?

6points

#107

A sight for saur eyes.

6points

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#108

I've got a bone to pick with you.

6points

#109

Why do museums exhibit old dinosaur bones? Because they can't afford new ones!

6points

#110

Why did the Tyrannosaurus Rex cross the road? Because the chickens hadn't evolved yet.

6points

#111

What did dinosaurs use to drive their cars? Fossil fuels.

6points

#112

What’s the best thing to do if you see a tyrannosaurus rex? Pray that it doesn’t see you.

6points

#113

Which dinosaur had to wear glasses? Tyrannosaurus specs.

6points

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#114

What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A diplodocus with a sore throat.

6points

#115

Which dinosaur always wants a bargain when he shops? Mega-low-saurus (megalosaurus).

6points

#116

What is the most magical dinosaur? Diplo-pocus.

6points

#117

Which dinosaur is the most neurotic? Parasaurolo-fuss.

6points

#118

What dinosaur hangs out in lunch boxes? A peanut butter and jeholopterus.

6points

#119

Which dinosaur is best at yard work? Mows-asaurus.

6points

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#120

Which dinosaur never has any money? No-dough-saurus.

6points

#121

What do you call a carpenter with no arms? A cannotasarus.

6points

#122

Sticks out like a saur thumb.

5points

#123

The no-dough-saurus was the only broke dinosaur at the party.

5points

#124

Why don’t dinosaurs ever forget? Because they never knew anything in the first place.

5points

#125

How many dinosaurs can you fit in an empty box? After that, the box isn’t empty.

4points

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Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Miglė

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Ieva Bernotaite

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

What do you think ?

Jose Ortiz 3 years ago

What do you call a gay dino? Megasoreass A lesbian one? Lickalotapuss

1point

Philler Space 3 years ago

Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get Jurasskicked.

0points

Duncan 3 years ago

Yawn, I could only last 7 but then realised I have more important things to do than read this tripe.

0points

Jose Ortiz 3 years ago

What do you call a gay dino? Megasoreass A lesbian one? Lickalotapuss

1point

Philler Space 3 years ago

Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get Jurasskicked.

0points

Duncan 3 years ago

Yawn, I could only last 7 but then realised I have more important things to do than read this tripe.

0points

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