Small organizational issues surrounding gatherings and dinners of the extended family may often be easily solved if all parties make an effort to find the best solution for each specific situation. Unfortunately, these can also become complicated and stand in the way of people’s relationships when communication or consideration of other people is minimal.

One such problem appeared in this Redditor’s extended family, as after three years of always accommodating her daughter-in-law, the woman was finally invited over for dinner when the couple purchased a house, yet was disappointed to find that she was expected to bring her own food due to her nut allergy.

More info: Reddit

A woman was invited to dinner at her daughter-in-law’s yet declined the invite after being told she had to bring her own food

Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)

The woman has been accommodating her son’s wife when organizing gatherings for around three years

Image credit: u/Vivid-Worth-8581

Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo) 

Image credit: u/Vivid-Worth-8581

The couple didn’t used to organize gatherings themselves due to their small living space, yet have recently purchased a house

Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo) 

The woman was invited over for dinner and contacted the son’s wife to remind her about her allergy to nuts

A woman brought it to the Reddit AITA community online after she declined a dinner invite from her daughter-in-law, as there wouldn’t be one meal she could eat.

The woman explained that for the three years that her son has been married, she has often had him and his wife over and made sure that his wife, who is vegetarian and at one point vegan, would have food options suitable for her.

Up until the incident, the couple never hosted dinners due to their small living space; however, the situation changed recently after they purchased a house. The woman received an invitation to dinner, yet when she called her daughter-in-law to remind her about her nut allergy, she was told she should bring her own food, as the son’s wife didn’t have time to make adjustments to the menu.

The woman was disappointed and told her daughter-in-law she wouldn’t be attending the party, adding that she had accommodated her for years, not once making her bring her own food. This upset both the woman’s son as well as his wife, who thought the woman was being unreasonable. On the other hand, the woman’s husband sided with her on the issue.

The daughter-in-law let the woman know that she has to bring her own food, as she has no time to accommodate her allergy

Image credits: Marta Branco (not the actual photo) 

The woman was very disappointed and declined the invite, while her daughter-in-law thought her request was unreasonable

Ways that can help improve one’s relationship with their in-laws were discussed by Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D., and the tips for challenging relationships included setting limits regarding what one is willing to tolerate, yet making sure to do it with kindness and not being more harsh than necessary.

Greenberg emphasized that keeping one’s expectations of their in-laws reasonable can often help reduce the likelihood of disappointment and distress. She also advised finding the amount of time that feels right to spend with one’s in-laws. 

Finally, it was brought up that people are often well-intended and to make the best out of it, it is crucial to communicate, rather than make assumptions, by also listening to their side of the story.

Coming back to the original story, the woman’s post gathered 9.9k upvotes on Reddit and people judged she was not the jerk in this situation.

What’s your take on the situation? Please, share your thoughts in the comment section below!

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