According to Michelle, “People who fabricate stories online are seeking to get unmet needs met and are insecure about themselves and their lives.” That being said, we have to take into consideration that these people are hiding behind a false facade due to some sort of unaddressed issues. Most of the time, these people have preconceived notions of what they want their lives to be like instead of accepting what is, and that is how the lies begin.

“In my experience, people have an idea of who they think the world wants to see. Someone who is interesting, happy, successful, attractive, and surrounded by friends. We compare ourselves to what we see on social media, and when our own lives don't measure up, we may embellish or enhance in somewhat way we are putting out there in order to feel like we measure up,” shared Talya.

We come across many people caught lying on social media, yet people have still not learned their lesson and continue to fabricate some part of their lives. We were curious to know the underlying reasons why people feel the need to lie online. “While there are certainly some specific psychological disorders that would lead someone to lie about their experiences on social media, it often is a simple need for validation and attention. Social media allows people to create the life they want to be living, whether or not they are actually living it. With minimal effort, posts can be created and edited to show just a part of what is actually going on, and that snapshot might be more 'appealing' than the full, or more realistic, picture,” Talya explained.

Michelle added: “Persons who are devoid of a core, strong sense of self provide an alternate reality on social media to seek attention, approval, validation, or whatever need is unmet in their lives. They often feel presenting themselves in this way will obtain this. On the other side of the coin are antisocial or narcissistic persons who do this for control/to manipulate outcomes.”

There is no one answer to why people lie on social media, therefore we wanted psychologists to discuss the role that validation and attention-seeking behavior may play in the creation of fake stories online. Talya shared: “We all crave validation. This is a normal human need. The invention of social media allowed us to cast a wide net into the world in order to pull back in that validation from others. Something as simple as seeing how many likes or views a social media post gets has started to define how some people feel about themselves. Most of these sites are set up to require attention from others in order to receive the validation that we crave. As a result, content creators are essentially forced to present something attention-seeking - even if they have to fabricate their reality in order to do so.”

Whether we like it or not, social media has a huge impact on our lives. Talya shared that “social media allows people to create an image that they want to present to the world, whether or not this image is actually based in reality. There are so many tools out there whose only focus is to allow content creators to edit whatever experience they are choosing to post. It is this curated viewpoint that is then presented to others as reality.”

“People actually believe the highlight reel from others' lives is indicative of their own lives not measuring up often. Other times persons are seeking validation or attention, unless their motives are more sinister,” shared Michelle.

Since we see so many people relying on their lies online, we were wondering if there are any potential negative consequences to the individual's mental health when they create fake stories to present a certain image online. “Definitely! When someone creates a fake story or a specific image they want to present online, it is now up to them to maintain that facade. The mental strain that it takes to uphold these falsehoods can take a huge toll on one's mental health. I often talk with my clients, comparing this to lying in a job interview. If you interview for a job claiming to have a skill set that you don't actually have and this lands you the job, the lie may have paid off at the moment, but now how do you actually do the job? You are now in a position where you need to keep the facade going, no matter how much effort that takes,” Talya shared.

Lying builds up walls which later need to be maintained, which over time gets exhausting and makes it even more difficult to get genuine attention and love from others. “Persons actually are creating the opposite of what they seek, further distancing themselves from the acceptance, attention, connection, love, and validation they want as they are presenting a false self, causing them to chip away at any sense of self they have little by little. What this is actually doing is reaffirming the false belief that they aren't enough,” shared Michelle.

To those people who have been fabricating stories and would like to break this pattern of behavior, here is what Talya advised: “I would advise them to take an honest dive into the underlying reasons why they are using social media this way (this is work that I often do with my clients). Are they unhappy with their life as it is? Do they wish that others saw them differently? Are they presenting what they feel others need to see in order to get what they are looking for from others? Addressing the factors that contribute to the behavior can allow someone to have a more positive relationship with themselves and therefore better use of social media.

”Michelle also advises to “seek help and start being authentic with the safest people in your life first. Find some if you don't have any, and show up as your best self, not a fake, phony version of what you think people would respond to. Work out your insecurities and appreciate the good in yourself. When you show up for you, others will too!”

And lastly, Talya added: “Social media is not all negative. It allows us to connect with friends who are not local, stay up to date on current events, and share important aspects of our lives with people who are meaningful to us. But as with all good things, we need to make sure that we partake in moderation. We need to check in with ourselves and evaluate if the way we use social media is adding value to our lives, or taking it away. Being critical consumers of this type of media is important not only to our own mental health but to how our communities continue to evolve and interact with each other.”