Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island.

1) Check spelling.
2) If correct, enjoy.

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Janessa Hart

Janessa Hart

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2 years ago

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I won’t be able to survive too long, because that dessert island is only going to exist for a week max before it’s all in my stomach!

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I HAVE ABS-

olutely no self-control when it comes to dessert.

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PopscotchM

PopscotchM

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2 years ago

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same

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My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care.

But then the shift hit the flan.

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Ray Arani

Ray Arani

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2 years ago

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Thanks, dad.

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What kind of dessert comes out of a musical volcano?

Bach Lava.

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Lorie Shewbridge

Lorie Shewbridge

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2 years ago

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I could hear that coming from one of my grandkids. 😊

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What happens when ice scream gets angry?

It has a melt down!

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AVGucky

AVGucky

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2 years ago

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Recently I had a very weird dream! (It's really a true story!) In my dream I've been wondering if it was possible to make cooked ice cream gonna cry. Wtf? When I woke up I've still been thinking about it, then realized that weirdness and couldn't stop laughing for at least thirty minutes! Btw, I guess it's NOT possible - because if ice cream gets cooked it's no ice cream anymore 🙈 Dunno if I need a therapist or an exorcist...

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What's Hannibal Lecter's favorite dessert?

A Danish.

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Lorie Shewbridge

Lorie Shewbridge

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2 years ago

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Groan...

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Grammar is bringing dessert.

The synonym rolls are amazing.

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Tezdon Robinson

Tezdon Robinson

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2 years ago

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omg these jokes are killing me

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What's Bill Gates's favorite dessert?

Apple turnover.

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Tezdon Robinson

Tezdon Robinson

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2 years ago

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sigh...

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What did the French dessert say when it was leaving?

Bonbon voyage.

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What’s angry and goes with custard?

Apple grumble!

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Why do French bakers only use one egg to make a cake?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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Why did the ice cream truck break down?

Because of the Rocky Road.

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Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.

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When the yoga teacher caught her student eating a lot of pies and coffee.

She said: "You're here to practice yoga, not pie-lattes!"

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Which dessert is perfect for eating in bed?

A sheet cake.

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What do ghosts serve for dessert?

I scream.

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What's a stoners favorite dessert?

Baked goods.

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L̸1̶z̵

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2 years ago

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Aha, all of them....

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Why did the pie go to a dentist?

Because he needed a filling!

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What did the cake say to the fork?

"You want a piece of me?"

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What do you call a baker that quits his job?

A desserter.

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What do you call a really awesome dessert?

Flantastic!

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Why do ice creams make the best journalists?

Because they are always getting the inside scoop first.

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What is a monkey's favorite cookie?

Chocolate chimp!

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There's a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief.

That one really takes the cake.

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What is a shoe repairman's favorite dessert?

Tearinmyshoe.

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Heather Vandegrift

Heather Vandegrift

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2 years ago

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Could also be Cobbler

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What did the thesaurus have for dessert?

A synonym bun.

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Which ice cream flavor is a vampire's favorite?

Vein-illa.

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I tried making dessert, but I only had sour milk.

It was quite off pudding.

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What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Cut it in half.

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What does a camel do on a pudding?

Walks through the dessert.

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What is the favorite dessert of Greek chickens?

BAWK-lava.

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JEMMA JENKINS

JEMMA JENKINS

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1 year ago

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i do not get it some body explain it!!!

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What's a basketball champ's favorite donut place?

Dunkin' Donuts.

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JEMMA JENKINS

JEMMA JENKINS

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1 year ago

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o m g that is sooooooooooooooooooooo funny

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Where do you learn how to make ice cream?

In Sunday (Sundae) School.

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JEMMA JENKINS

JEMMA JENKINS

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hahahahhahahahahah Screenshot...a4bf12.png

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My doctor told me the best way to lose weight is to think of dessert as a drug.

I've been freebasing two cannoli a day.

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Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

Because he was stuffed.

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JEMMA JENKINS

JEMMA JENKINS

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1 year ago

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hahah!!

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What's a dessert's favorite pick-up line?

Pie like you berry much.

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JEMMA JENKINS

JEMMA JENKINS

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haha

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What’s a dessert’s favorite actor?

Robert Brownie, Jr!

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JEMMA JENKINS

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hahahahahahah

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What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

Boo-berry pie!

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Katherine O'Connor

Katherine O'Connor

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...or I Scream

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What does an Australian ghost eat for dessert?

Boo-meringue.

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Did you hear about the serial killer that got killed in a standoff with the police in an ice cream shop?

He got what he dessert.

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Taylor Keane

Taylor Keane

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Or, in criminal justice vernacular... just desserts

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Why do ice creams tend to be bad at tennis?

Because they are always going for the soft serve.

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What dessert is served at birthday parties in heaven?

Angel food cake.

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Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?

Because it was a coughee cake.

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I bought a waffle iron the other day.

Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.

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How do you make an apple turnover?

Roll it down the hill!

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What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?

Desserted.

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What is a jewelers favorite dessert?

Carat Cake.

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What did the Italian waiter say to the couple when he forgot their dessert?

"Affogato!"

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What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb.

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What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?

One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

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Where is bad dessert taken?

Into custard-y!

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What did the motivational ice cream tell to the sad audience?

"Nothing is im-popsicle if you just believe."

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What is the favorite TV show of all ice creams?

Answer: Game Of Cones

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What happened when the courts tried to ban a certain kind of ice cream?

The other ice creams started a riot as it seemed un-cone-stitutional.

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How do you motivate an ice cream lover?

"You cone do it!"

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What's cake's favorite song?

'Slice, Slice, Baby'.

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When the concerned parent cake asked his child, "What's up",

She replied, "Muffin much."

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What did the frightened cake say?

"I'm just so afraid to take whisks."

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Why was the cake crying?

Because the baker was beating him to make him batter.

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How do you call a snake that loves dessert?

A pie-thon.

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What's the shopaholic pie's motto?

"Keep your eyes on the pies tags!"

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Why did the donut go to a therapist?

Because he was filling empty inside.

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What did the loaf of cinnamon bread say to the bag of flour?

"Hey, didn't we meet yeast-erday?"

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Where do monsters get their cookies?

From the Ghoul scouts.

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What kind of candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

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How do you spell CANDY with only two letters?

C and Y.

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What did chocolate syrup say to ice cream on Valentine's day?

"I'm sweet on you!"

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What does it do before it rains candy?

It sprinkles!

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What do cats have for dessert?

Mice Crispies.

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Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?

Because it was marble cake!

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What's the best thing to put into a pie?

Your teeth!

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Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mother was a wafer so long!

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What is a math teacher's favorite dessert?

Pi.

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What do you call a website where you pay to look at pictures of Spanish desserts?

OnlyFlans.

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What's a monkeys favorite dessert?

Lemon Morangutan Pie.

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What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert?

Chocolate mousse.

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A couple of camels are walking in the dessert...

And I was like: "Hey! Get out of my ice cream cake, you camels!"

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Planck's constant walks into a bar and orders dessert. The bartender is a little surprised by this, but happens to have a couple desserts on hand.

"I can't decide," says Planck's constant. "Whenever I walk into a bar I feel divided by two pies."

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What does a time traveler do when he wants more dessert?

He goes back for seconds.

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What's the difference between an Italian dessert cheese and a small pony who loves makeup?

One's a mascarpone, the other is a mascara pony.

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How do you call a rodent that steals dessert?

A pie-rat!

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When somebody asks me if I love ice cream, I say, "You sherbet, I do."

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Everybody worshipped the new ice cream in town.

She was legen-dairy.

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Why do everybody love ice cream?

Because it is so cool.

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How do you become a professor at an Ice Cream University?

You have to submit a cool dessert-ation.

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What's Shakespeare's favorite cake?

'A Midsummer Ice Cream'.

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Why do we eat ice cream, cake, cookies and sweets when we're stressed?

Because 'stressed' spelled backward is 'desserts'!

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What's the worst thing about being a birthday cake?

After you're set on fire, you are eaten by the hero that saved you.

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Which seasonal dessert treat is the best seller at the Colorado cannabis edibles shop?

Pumpkin pot pie.

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Why is it so hard to make a homemade Heath Bar?

'Cause that’s a real toffee.

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Why did baker stop making donuts?

Because he got tired of the hole thing!

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What do you call an angry dessert?

Ice scream!

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What did pilgrims use to make cookies?

May Flour!

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What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

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I just had dessert after my Chinese food, but there was no paper in my cookie.

That's unfortunate.

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Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death?

BEN and JERRY.

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What did the newspaper say to the ice cream?

"What's the scoop?"

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When should you take a cookie to the doctor?

When it feels crummy.

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How do astronauts eat their ice creams?

In floats!

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Why do basketball players love cookies?

Because they can dunk them!

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What is a car's favorite dessert?

Petroleum Jelly.

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Why can’t you hide from an Italian dessert?

You cannoli run.

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What battery makes the best dessert?

Lithi - yums.

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Why did the cow do jumping jacks?

Because he wanted a milkshake!

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What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?

An Easter Sundae.

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What was the ice cream police officer worried about on a hot day?

That he would lose cone-trol of the traffic.

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How is pig's favorite ice cream company called?

Hoggin' Daz.

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What's cake's favorite dance song?

'Watch Me Whip'.

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What would the name of Led Zeppelin's song about donuts be?

'Glazed And Confused.'

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How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it around the garden.

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What did the head chef say when the rookie burned the dessert?

"Is that a crime brulee?"

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Why don't employees like the new gluten-free bakery?

Because it's a crumby place to work.

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Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?

She wanted to ice it!

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I just drove by an abandoned Dairy Queen.

I guess you could say it was dessert-ed.

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Bought some ice cream and it said “store in a cool place”.

So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.

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What did the dessert do after filing for divorce?

She took custardy of the kids.

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What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving?

"Good-pie everyone."

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What did the pie who fell in love with another pie say?

"You made me fall in love at first bite."

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The pie wrote a letter to his best friend saying,

"You keep occu-pie-ing all my thoughts."

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