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40 Demotivational Quotes That Are Painfully True

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Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any!

So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.

However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here - our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends.

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#1

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” - Marion G. Harmon

479points

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#2

“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”

422points

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#3

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Alan Dundes

387points

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#4

“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”

385points

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#5

“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

338points

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#6

“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”

323points

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#7

“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”

319points

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#8

“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”

317points

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#9

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein

298points

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#10

“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”

296points

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#11

“If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields

281points

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#12

“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant

268points

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#13

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”

266points

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#14

“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”

252points

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#15

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

246points

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#16

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields

243points

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#17

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead

236points

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#18

“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”

234points

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#19

“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams

224points

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#20

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman

217points

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#21

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” - Dorothy Parker

215points

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#22

“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”

209points

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#23

“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”

208points

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#24

“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” - Dwight Schrute

207points

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#25

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket

202points

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#26

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” - Bette Midler

187points

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#27

“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”

182points

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#28

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

180points

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#29

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”

180points

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#30

“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia

175points

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#31

“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”

174points

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#32

“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”

167points

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#33

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - John Benfield

161points

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#34

“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”

151points

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#35

“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”

149points

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#36

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” - Harry Hill

146points

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#37

“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”

133points

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#38

“You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”

115points

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#39

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”

104points

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#40

"Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail." - Dom Mazzetti

95points

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#41

“If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

42points

#42

“Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.”

41points

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#43

“Stubbornness – because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.”

40points

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#44

“The best things in life are actually really expensive.”

39points

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#45

“The secret of my success? I make a list of things not to do, and then I check them off as I don’t do them.”

39points

#46

“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” - George Bernard Shaw

38points

#47

“Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how much money you have.”

38points

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#48

“Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”

37points

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#49

“Never give up. Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.”

37points

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#50

“It’s not just Monday. Your whole life sucks.”

36points

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#51

“If you never believe in anything, you’ll never be disappointed.”

36points

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#52

“Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.” - Cassern S. Goto

35points

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#53

“When you think you’re screwed, remember we’re all on a big, wet ball floating in the dark.”

35points

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#54

“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan

33points

#55

“I look at the world and see a rainbow of people who all suck in different ways.“

32points

#56

“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” - David Letterman

31points

#57

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

31points

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#58

“Every day is a new chance for you to screw up again.”

31points

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#59

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early” – Charles Lamb

31points

#60

“Meetings – none of us is as dumb as all of us.”

31points

#61

“Get to work – you aren’t being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.”

31points

#62

“Life better be a destination because this journey sucks.”

30points

#63

“Trying is the first step toward failure.” - Homer Simpson

29points

#64

“Life hack: you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do anything at all.”

29points

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#65

“Getting fit is all about mind over matter. I don’t mind, so it doesn’t matter.”

29points

#66

“If you give up on your dreams that may free up some time to get some actual stuff done.”

29points

#67

"Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it."

29points

#68

“If you changed everything about you, I’d love you just the way you are.”

28points

#69

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” - Steven Wright

27points

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#70

“Interns – the experience we’re giving you is invaluable. That’s why we’re not paying you anything.”

27points

#71

“If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.”

26points

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#72

“Some people are born losers, others have to learn the hard way.”

26points

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#73

“When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die.”

25points

#74

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.”

25points

#75

“TEAMWORK: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” - Justin Sewell

24points

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#76

“The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” - Steven Wright

24points

#77

“You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of.” - Robert Penn Warren

23points

#78

“I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.” - Arthur C. Clarke

23points

#79

“It’s all downhill from here.”

23points

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#80

“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” - Charles de Gaulle

22points

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#81

“There’s no limit to what you can be if you lie to yourself.”

22points

#82

“You thank God daily, but have you ever once heard a ‘You’re welcome’?”

21points

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#83

“There is plenty of fish in the sea, none of them want to date you either.”

21points

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#84

“Everyone’s good at something, and you’re the best at not being good at anything.”

21points

#85

“Pulling together – only works when you’re not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.”

21points

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#86

“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”

21points

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#87

“Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet.” - Latrell Sprewell

19points

#88

“When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” - Jane Wagner

19points

#89

“Quitters never win, and winners never quit talking about how they won.”

19points

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#90

“Better discourage a man’s climbing than help him to break his neck.”

19points

#91

“Life is hard, but it’s even harder if you’re stupid.”

18points

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#92

“The only thing all of your failures have in common is you.”

18points

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#93

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” - Jane Austen

17points

#94

“Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely not!”

17points

#95

“Those who doubt your ability probably have a valid reason.”

17points

#96

“I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

17points

#97

“Dare to soar – with enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.”

17points

#98

“You are a child of the universe. Problem is, the universe is a deadbeat dad.”

17points

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#99

“I’d encourage most people to be themselves. For you, that’s clearly the wrong strategy.”

17points

#100

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.” - Benjamin Franklin Wade

16points

#101

“I love mankind... it's people I can't stand!” - Charles M. Schulz

16points

#102

“I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.” - Charlie Brown

16points

#103

“You’re only as cheap as your most recent inspirational quote.”

16points

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#104

“Dare to be different because there’s always room for another annoying non-conformist like you on the unemployment line.”

16points

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#105

“Life is mostly just learning how to lose.”

15points

#106

“Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.”

15points

#107

“Nobody can stop me but only because I haven’t started yet.”

15points

#108

“Believe in yourself – because the rest of us think you’re an idiot.”

15points

#109

“Expectations – refuse to accept anything but the very best and you are never going to last around here.”

15points

#110

“When the going gets tough, the tough gets tougher.”

14points

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#111

“Today will be a day like every other day.”

14points

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#112

“Don’t rest until you’ve complained about everything.”

14points

#113

“It is what it is. And it’s not good.”

14points

#114

“Try hard and don’t worry if you fail because everyone expected that.”

14points

#115

“They say money talks. But, all mine says is goodbye.”

14points

#116

“Dream small – It’s your only hope for success, really.”

14points

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#117

“Please take your feelings and tuck them back inside your heart.”

14points

#118

“Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”

14points

#119

“Flattery – if you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.”

14points

#120

“Everything is bad and everyone is dumb.”

13points

#121

“You only die once.”

13points

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#122

“If at first, you don’t succeed. Give up and try something else.”

13points

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#123

“Always believe that something wonderful will probably never happen.”

13points

#124

“Dream is the only way for you to escape the miserable reality of your life.”

13points

#125

“Limitations – until you spread your wings, you’ll have no idea how far you can walk.”

13points

#126

“I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your text. It’s just that I don’t care about your feelings.”

13points

#127

“Because there’s nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.”

13points

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#128

“The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.” - Jay McInerney

12points

#129

“You miss 100% of the shots you do take also.”

12points

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#130

“It’s never too late to fail.”

11points

#131

“Work hard and you will (not) get what you deserve!”

11points

#132

“I’ll get coffee with you but only because I love coffee.”

11points

#133

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise I lie down until it goes away.”

11points

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#134

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some wind up like you.”

11points

#135

“Ambition – the journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very, very badly.”

11points

#136

“Today I want you to be the best ‘you’ that you can possibly be, which isn’t asking for much.”

11points

#137

“Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we’d been at all competent.” - Terry Pratchett

10points

#138

“Carpe Nothing.”

10points

#139

“The worst things in your life probably haven’t happened to you yet.”

10points

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#140

“Life is a series of things we would rather not to.” – Joe Abercrombie

10points

#141

“Your life only goes up so you can fall from a new height.”

10points

#142

“Be afraid to depend on others when you need to!”

10points

#143

“Television – why talk to your kids when you can watch with your kids?”

10points

#144

“Be the bridge – that way we can walk all over you on your way to better places.”

10points

#145

“Life is only logical, and to think it’s a gift is depressing.”

9points

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#146

“Boldly going nowhere.”

8points

#147

“There are several reasons why I am going to hell.”

8points

#148

“Distinction – looking sharp is easy when you haven’t done any work.”

8points

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#149

“Whoever sang, ‘Ooh-ooh, child things are gonna get easier’ was laying to that child.”

8points

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#150

“Started from the bottom and still at the bottom.”

7points

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#151

“You can have results or excuses. Excuses it is.”

7points

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Miglė

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Darja Zinina

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Monika Pašukonytė

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

What do you think ?

Mistralok 2 years ago

Failure is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Without failures in some form there would be no evolution and we would not exist. Here is a story of a good one: Alexander Fleming was doing research on ways to cure disease. He failed over and over again. He used petri dishes to spread and grow bacteria on them and study the reactions. After each try (and failure) the dishes would be cleaned and completely sterilized and he would try again. He left the cleaning to one of his subordinates. He placed a new batch into an incubator and left for holiday. When he came back and inspected them he was disappointed. (pissed off!) The petris hadn't been cleaned and sanitized properly and they were covered with mold. He was tossing them out when he noticed something. Where the mold grew, the bacteria did not. This was how penicillin was discovered. This particular f**k up has saved millions of lives.

8points

Curry on... 2 years ago

One of my favs: I tried to keep an open mind, and all my brains fell out.

6points

Adrian 2 years ago

Murphy's Law:- If something can go wrong, it will. Murphy's Corollary:- If you keep on trying, things will get worse. Murphy's Addendum:- If you try a different way, the problems will multiply.,

2points

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Mistralok 2 years ago

Failure is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Without failures in some form there would be no evolution and we would not exist. Here is a story of a good one: Alexander Fleming was doing research on ways to cure disease. He failed over and over again. He used petri dishes to spread and grow bacteria on them and study the reactions. After each try (and failure) the dishes would be cleaned and completely sterilized and he would try again. He left the cleaning to one of his subordinates. He placed a new batch into an incubator and left for holiday. When he came back and inspected them he was disappointed. (pissed off!) The petris hadn't been cleaned and sanitized properly and they were covered with mold. He was tossing them out when he noticed something. Where the mold grew, the bacteria did not. This was how penicillin was discovered. This particular f**k up has saved millions of lives.

8points

Curry on... 2 years ago

One of my favs: I tried to keep an open mind, and all my brains fell out.

6points

Adrian 2 years ago

Murphy's Law:- If something can go wrong, it will. Murphy's Corollary:- If you keep on trying, things will get worse. Murphy's Addendum:- If you try a different way, the problems will multiply.,

2points

Load More Comments

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