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Delivery drivers seriously deserve way more respect than they get at the moment. Forget about convenience—without them, civilization itself would grind to a trickle.

Very few people actually take the time to consider just how tough their jobs are. It’s not just listening to music and podcasts while you mosey on to your next pick-up/delivery station. No, you constantly have to worry about delivery speed while staying safe, and if you’re delivering food, there are gas costs and tips to be anxious about, too. But what many delivery drivers have in common is that they get to see a very strange side of humankind.

The delivery drivers of Reddit—from pizza and furniture to the UPS crew—shared some of their weirdest job stories with the rest of the internet. And their tales range from the quirky and lighthearted to the downright frightening and deeply unnerving. Upvote the posts that impressed you the most as you continue scrolling, Pandas. And if you’ve ever worked in delivery, we’d love to hear all about your strangest experiences as well, so swing by the comment section on your way out.

Bored Panda got in touch with New York food delivery driver Smithson Michael, who was kind enough to share his experiences while on the job, as well as his thoughts about how to be great at the job and stand out from the crowd, and how things are changing with the worsening economic situation. You'll find deliverer Smithson's insights below, so be sure to read on, Pandas. He's got a finger on the pulse of the job industry like very few people do.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job This isn't so much a *weird* story as a sweet one. I was working as a host for Louise's Trattoria, and the delivery guy was out so they had me go on a delivery run. A small BBQ chicken pizza, about nine bucks or so. I drive it out to an apartment building in Glendale, go up to the third floor. An elderly woman opens the door. She was probably in her 70s. She already had her money in her hand.

Now, Louise's tacks on a $3 delivery fee, which she didn't know about, so when I told her the total, she was surprised. She just barely had enough to cover the pizza and delivery fee. No tip.

She looked around for some more cash but couldn't find any, then immediately started apologizing for not being able to tip me. I didn't really care -- I was just happy to get out of the restaurant and have a change of pace.

As I'm walking back to my car, I hear a woman calling out to me. "Young man!" I turn and see her leaning out of a window on the 3rd floor. She's holding a dollar bill in her hand. She drops it and it flutters down like a leaf.

I just remember the look on her face. This elderly woman who clearly didn't have much money, but who didn't want to be that person who didn't tip. That relieved smile.

alexkeatoniskeen , Joshua Lawrence Report

Final score:
512points
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"The weirdest thing I’ve encountered was having to deliver an urgent delivery of several bags of groceries, in pouring rain. It had been raining all day, but the moment I picked that order up, the windshield became impossible to see out of. This was at a very busy rush hour time, with a good amount of traffic. What was weird was that the defrost wouldn’t clear up my windshield. So the only space I had to see was the very small half-circles that my wiper blades left clear near the bottom of the windshield. After the delivery, the windshield cleared up," delivery driver Smithson shared one of his experiences with Bored Panda. 

We were very interested to hear his thoughts about what makes for a great delivery driver. Smithson told Bored Panda that adaptability, politeness, knowing the area, and patience are key and help separate the great from the good. And it's vital that you take good care of your vehicle!

"A great delivery driver is one that can be highly adaptable to different situations, on the road, during pickup, as well as drop-off. Anything can happen: you could get in your car to go deliver and find that it needs emergency maintenance, while you have orders inside. That’s one instance that can happen, and if and when it does, the customer may, or may not understand," he said that drivers ought to always be prepared.

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#2

I used to deliver food for a grilled sandwich shop back in college. One delivery I took had me going to the fortune teller's place at the other end of town. She's a middle aged woman of Middle Eastern descent and she invites me inside as she has to rummage around for the money. As she's looking we're making small talk about fortune telling and what it's like, the people she sees, why she does it, etc. Eventually she pays me and caps our conversation with "Alright, I'll see you around, Definitely_Not_Blitz." I never, at any point in the conversation, told her my name. I walk out stunned and shaken, I sit in my car for a good minute just dipping in and out of reality suddenly wondering if mind reading and fortune telling were real things.

I then look down and see my name tag on my shirt.

Definitely_Not_Blitz Report

Final score:
413points
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#3

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I once delivered a sofa to my own house that my wife had bought without consulting me.

hertful , Paul O'Mahony Report

Final score:
410points
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"So to avoid being stuck in a jam like that, keep your vehicle in properly maintained condition. Have a spare tire and repair kit if possible, as well as extra fuses, a bottle or two of engine oil, and antifreeze, just in case the unforeseeable happens. Know what types of wrenches you will need to perform minor emergency maintenance, or at the least that someone that knows how to do so if you cannot, can use to assist you in case someone pulls over to assist."

Deliverer Smithson said that he's been in situations where things were unpredictable even after keeping the vehicle maintained. "At the least, you can only hope that nothing takes your vehicle off of the road for the day. It’s better to be prepared for the unexpected in any event," he said.

"Knowing the lay of the area that you will be delivering in is something that cannot be stressed enough, whether it is an urban or rural area. Some routes can be simple, with many clear ways to go back and forth. Others can be very unforgiving, where one wrong turn could set you back minutes, forcing you to have to go well out of your way to reorient yourself, and get back onto the right route. I personally take the time to look at an overview of the areas I know I’ll be delivering in when I’m not delivering. I try to cover a radius of five to ten miles outside of hot areas, just in case the drop-off is further away than anticipated. I have had drop-offs be more than 40 minutes away, even with the fastest route option selected, and driving with a little extra gusto!"

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#4

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I delivered pizzas at a bunch of different places. Saw some weird stuff, almost got robbed once (I saw it coming and got back to my car in time), but one thing sticks with me.

You get "regulars", like any restaurant. People who order all the time, and usually order the same thing. There was one delivery I would always make to a house, and a little girl (maybe 10) would always answer the door and pay for the pizza. That wasn't too weird - kids like to pay for pizzas alot. The orders were sometimes early in the evening, sometimes late.

One evening I delivered a pizza to her, and she didn't have enough money. I suggested she go get one of her parents, and she said her mom wasn't there, and her daddy "wasn't alive anymore". I asked when her mom might be back (thinking she ran out somewhere), and the girl said "Thursday".

It was Monday.

I said are you sure, and she said yes her mommy's boyfriend lives in [nearby town] and she leaves on Monday and comes back on Thursdays "most of the time". I asked about grandma, any family, friends, etc. - no, no, no, no.

So, I sort of sat there wondering "well, what the f**k do I do now?". I thought about giving her the pizza and saying, "here you go, bye".

After one of those "probably only 10 seconds but feels like an eternity" moments I asked if I could borrow her phone (this was pre-cell phones unless your name was Gordon Gecko). I called the police and sat on the steps with the little girl until the police arrived.

She talked about her cat that ran away, and her my little ponies, and gave me a friendship bracelet. I noticed her hair and clothes were dirty. I thought about this poor girl just sitting in her house for days at a time completely alone.

The police came, I told them my story, and they told me to leave -- not sure whatever happened to her. No pizza orders from that house anymore -- I would check all of the orders whenever I worked.

**TL;DR:** Had a regular customer, a 10-ish year old girl who was regularly left alone by her mom for days at a time. Discovered this and called the police.

anon , Joshua Lawrence Report

Final score:
370points
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#5

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Not my story but was on the news recently.
Customers called to place an order for pizza delivery, did not fully hang up. The delivery person over heard their whole plan of robbing the delivery person when he shows up. The delivery person called the cops, they went in undercover as the delivery boy, the customers beat up the cop and got arrested.

blind_zombie , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:
301points
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#6

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I work at a shipping shop that ships UPS and FedEx. One of the UPS drivers told me about a time he was delivering a package and when he knocked the guy inside yelled, "Come on in". So he opens the door and walks in on a couple having sex. Apparently they were expecting someone else. He assumed they were about to partake in a threesome. So now whenever he knocks he makes sure to follow up with "It's UPS".

MTULaxer , Ty Lee Report

Final score:
255points
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Smithson noted that being polite is key when dealing with businesses that you pick up from, as well as the customers you deliver to. "I have had more than one place tell me that they have dealt with drivers that are rude, and unwilling to communicate at all when they arrive. Essentially, they want to just barge in, pick up the order, and rush to drop off. This usually always ends badly. The wrong orders can be picked up or only part of them. Sometimes there are specific instructions that the customers have sent to the establishment that they would like the driver to be aware of," he said.

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What's more, Smithson pointed out that not all communication happens through whatever app you may be using. "Some businesses use a software system of their own, that works in tandem with a delivery app like Uber, for example. Also, they will typically contact the business by telephone to express their concerns to the department that handles the packing, and organizing of the orders going out to delivery. There’s a lot to this: it’s a lot of work, not just physical," he stressed the fact that great delivery drivers know that excellent communication skills are a large part of the job.

"That includes being able to jump into a team role quickly in every place you pick up from, even if it is just for the duration of the pickup, and drop-off; every single time you pick up any delivery from any location," the delivery driver told Bored Panda. "Some individuals want to be a delivery driver, because they want to work alone, with no contact with anyone. If that is the case, being a delivery driver is not the right profession for them, with all due respect!"

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#7

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job We ordered pizza when I was having a party at my house and one of my friends thought it would be funny to answer the door in his underwear. The delivery guy was his uncle.

bbear122 , Kai Pilger Report

Final score:
248points
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#8

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I delivered a pizza to a farmhouse. I lived in an area with a town and farms on the outskirts. So I go up to the door, deliver said pizza without incident. Customer closes door and I turn around to realize I am trapped on the front porch by a pissed off rooster. He comes at me and I jump over the ledge of the porch. That damn cock chased me all the way back to my truck pecking at my ankles.

taking_a_deuce , David Cain Report

Final score:
215points
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#9

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I once delivered pizza to a funeral. One person was glad to see me because they were "starved to death".

anon , cottonbro Report

Final score:
209points
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Something else that's vital is having patience "in spades." It's all part of the job. "Traffic can cause delays, and orders might be canceled by the customers. Pickups could be enormous, some even involving multiple trips back and forth from the store or restaurant. Anything can happen. If you happen to damage one of the items, the store might expect you to come back and switch it out for an undamaged item, and complete the order! You cannot just expect every delivery to be quick, and simple. Eventually, you will get one that surprises you, you just have to keep an open mind and be prepared for that possibility."

Next, make sure you're always prepared. Make sure you have a good cellphone with the best possible coverage. "You have to be able to be reached, and have service when things get hairy. Also, spare charge cables, and a portable battery pack charged in advance are a great help," Smithson said. "You do have to look out for your well-being, so make sure you use your device's flashlight for night deliveries in dark spots, and watch your surroundings, of course, your step!"

At the core of working as a delivery driver lies professionalism. Smithson says that it's imperative to conduct yourself with the utmost professionalism, "whether it’s in transit, pickup, or drop off of ordered goods. It goes a long way, and keeps your stress level down. Also, keep in mind that you’re representing the parties involved, even if it is just for the duration of the delivery!" He added: "Don’t forget to love what you do, it just creates positive energy, and is an all-around good approach to your work!"

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#10

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I used to deliver beer to various liquor stores, gas stations, and bars. There were was one moment in particular that left me dumbfounded and it wasn't until later that i realized how dangerous the situation was.

I was leaving a gas station that I had just delivered to and just put away my hand-truck. As I was walking towards the truck cab I saw in my mirror that there was a large unkempt man quickly approaching me from behind. Right as I began to turn around six to eight police cars pulled up to the station with every officer getting out, hands on their weapons. They shouted to get on the ground and I just froze, not knowing what to do. The officers rushed and one grabbed me and pulled me aside. I have no idea what he said to me because a helicopter was now present. At this point, the approaching man was now handcuffed.

I had to wait a little bit while the officers took account of the situation but one of the officers got on his walkie-talkie saying "We got him!" I still have no clue who that guy was, only that he could be a very dangerous individual.

Jeffatron , Rosemary Ketchum Report

Final score:
208points
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#11

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I was working for Dominoes and had a delivery to a condo complex.

So I knock on the door and this dude opens the door and he is in diapers and has a bow in his hair like a little baby.

It was...awkward.

diamondsealtd , Elliott Brown Report

Final score:
200points
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#12

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I am not a delivery guy, but one year I was doing some work for one of the major shipping companies. It's the Christmas season, which is their busiest time of year.

One night one of their delivery guys picks up his truck full of packages to start his shift, and there's some problem with his paperwork. He heads back into the shipping hub office to straighten it out, leaving his keys in the ignition like an idiot. He comes back out and the truck's been stolen.

The punch line is that many of the packages in the truck ended up being delivered to their appropriate destinations. I guess someone wanted to steal a parcel truck without pulling a Grinch?

Hartastic , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:
182points
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Bored Panda also wanted to get delivery driver Smithson's take on how the changing economic situation is affecting people. "Well, now with inflation rising, ordering delivery, I can imagine, is an option that many are re-thinking. That is a blow to anyone that relies on delivery as a main source of income, like myself, or the thousands of undocumented workers in France that have been let go in UberEats’s massive crackdown recently, despite previously welcoming them en masse," he commented about the delivery industry around the globe.

"There are many that were barely making it by, with delivery as a main source of income. I know what it’s like. I am in dire straits financially myself. With UberEats teaming up with Nuro for the next ten years to have robots deliver goods, I anticipate that the landscape of delivering food will be drastically different, and uncertain for human drivers in the future. It’s disheartening to think of that. We will see how this affects us, sooner or later. For now, we hang on and do our best. I’m doing my best. I have to continue to remain optimistic. We all do."
#13

Had a meat cleaver pulled on me when I went to deliver pizza.

Went out to this shitty house in the middle of nowhere. Four big old piles of trouble were sitting around a table in this old, white kitchen, playing cards. They all looked fairly drunk, but mean drunk. While I was debagging the pies, two of them get up to grab more beer.

Well, that's what I thought. Instead, they grab me in kinda an armlock/ headlock from behind, and while I'm stammering a quick WTF?, the third one picks up a meat cleaver from the kitchen mantlepiece and holds it near my throat. I stop resisting because it looks damn sharp.

"So, say I was to cut your throat right now, what would I get?" he asks, probably referring to my change.

I'm like, "Uh, three free pizzas and about twenty years?"

I mean, it sounds dramatic and it was, but I still wasn't convinced that they were serious, it had this kinda roughhousing element to it, like they were just trying to scare the living p**s out of a skinny high school kid. The two guys holding me start laughing and they let me go. Dude tipped me ten for being a good sport. I went back to the shop and put the address straight onto the "do not deliver" list. No pizza for you, one year.

marmalade Report

Final score:
179points
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#14

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Delivered pizzas in North Dakota and always used to get some weirdos: dirt roads were always a bad sign. One time I arrive at the address in a trailer park, and there is a note on the door that says, "Please come inside, money is on the counter." Whatever, I head in there, and there is a $20 bill sitting there for a $26 order. Great, so I decide to wait, but after about five minutes it's starting to look like a lost cause. I call them up to see what's up, and a woman answers. I explain to her that she's a little short and she says, "Yeah I know, didn't you see my note?" I told her I did see the note, which is how I knew they were $6 short. "No, the other note. The one on the microwave." Turning my head, I see a post-it note with the words "P**n Me" scribbled on it. "You want me to pawn your microwave to make up the difference?" "Yes," she said, "we do it a lot. There's a pawn shop right next door and they usually give me around $20 for it. That should cover the bill and give you a tip for your troubles." I wasn't totally sure if this was legal, but I ventured over to the pawn shop, and he did indeed give me $20 for it. I asked if this was common and the guy working the counter said I was the 4th delivery guy that month to come in with that microwave. Hey, at least I got a $14 tip out of it!
TL;DR: Pawned a customer's microwave at their request in order to pay for bill and tip

rutgerswhat , Miles Goodhew Report

Final score:
167points
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#15

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Pizza guy here.

* was offered heroin as a tip
* was invited inside to drink beer and eat a slice of the pizza i delivered as a tip
* had to wait while "they" finished up before they answered the door
* Wife pays for pizza, as i walk back to the car, husband is walking up the sidewalk. He asks how much his wife tipped.. i say 2 bucks.. he mouths something and hands me 10 bucks. (the total on the order was near $100)

dacat , Edward Eyer Report

Final score:
149points
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One thing that life has taught us is to always expect the unexpected… and that the Universe has a sense of humor. We’ve seen way too many strange things to believe that they happen purely by chance.

On the flip side, people are simply strange enough as they are. Interact with enough of them and you might see a side of humanity that’s not so apparent to others.

Though we as human beings crave stability and predictability (with just a small dollop of surprises along the way), life is inherently unpredictable. Like it or not, we will have to deal with unusual situations, both positive and negative, throughout our lives. Learning to weather them, adapt to them, and learn from them, then, becomes an important set of skills for us to have.

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#16

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job So I worked at a pizza Hut at 17 (13 years ago) in high school. I wasn't the delivery man but was back up. This was on Edwards AFB in california. Our delivery guy went out and was "gone" for the next 3 hours. This was before cellphones and we didn't know what happened so I had to take over deliveries. He shows back up and we all ask him where he has been because we are way behind schedule. Someone had ordered a pizza to one of the dormitories and left the door cracked. Naturally he pushed the door open to give what he expected to be a drunk airmen his pizza. Instead the airman had hung himself and was dead. That's how he wanted to be discovered. He was out of work so long because of police reports and what not. Terrible night...

TKGK , Kyle Bushnell Report

Final score:
147points
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#17

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I worked as a delivery driver for a local shop that delivered around a college, and got sent on a $235 delivery to a frat that was having a party. Upon delivering the pizza, I was told I could have $250 or play a game of beer pong, in which I would win $500 or get nothing.


Ended up barely winning by one cup, they had apparently been anticipating my loss and weren't 'authorized' by the treasury person at the frat to spend that much... Frat president eventually had to get the $500 to me because he said that they were men of their words. Then watched two members get a quick vote kick for being idiots and the party shut down... Fourteen guys ended up with a ton of pizza and no party.

[deleted] , Quinton Coetzee Report

Final score:
122points
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#18

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I used to do pizza delivery for a local pizza shop in Lexington, KY. There was this old woman who always ordered a pizza every Wednesday night. One day, she called ordering a pepperoni pizza (her usual.) She's right down the street so it was ready in 10 minutes & I was out for delivery.

Yet, when I got to her home, an ambulance was parked out front. I walked up to the door, pizza in hand, & pushed the doorbell. A younger woman, I presume her daughter, explained to me that she passed away and that I was the last person she ever talked to. She paid with tip & I went back to work.

Epic.

stabbyclaus , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:
121points
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Psychologist Lee Chambers told Bored Panda recently: “As human beings, we have a desire for certainty and routine that keeps us feeling safe and able to plan what lies ahead in an organized manner. When unpredictable situations or accidents impact us, it can be traumatic, and we will likely feel a sense of disappointment, frustration, and loss.”

He continued: "It is important however that we embrace the fact that the world can be unpredictable and uncertain, and become more tolerant of this being a reality. Understanding that things are sometimes out of our control helps us to accept that not everything goes to plan, and accept when things happen to us that are negative. This acceptance allows us to embrace the change and difference, and manage our expectations so we can become more resilient to the ups and downs that all our lives lead."

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#19

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Brought a pizza to a big mansion. The door opens, in the foyer there is a suit of armor, other medieval implements. Classical music is absolutely blasting out of this house. But no person. Then a guy literally drops in from a curtain/rope thing. Swings into the doorway. Then he strikes a pose. And he's got a rapier in his hand. I then see another guy in the background playing "sword".

jrizos , Vitalii IONASHKU Report

Final score:
114points
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#20

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I use to deliver pizzas in college. One delivery took exactly 8 mins and that included 6 mins of cooking time. The pizza place was about 3 blocks from the dorm I was delivering. The order was 10.98 She gave me 11 and waited for changed. I signed loudly, counted out 2 pennies and then the chick said "its aight.. keep the change" I stood there for a sec with 2 pennies in my hand, I looked at my hand, looked at her, looked at my hand again, flipped my palm and watched the pennies hit the ground. I walked back to the car and took off. If you're going to tip dont insult me with 2 cents! I'd rather receive no tip than 2 cents!

lolzsupbrah , Siora Photography Report

Final score:
106points
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#21

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I delivered pizza for many years. There was this regular who was a pretty good tipper, so we were always fighting over who got to deliver to this guy. I got lucky and brought him his unusually large order. Turns out he was having a little get together and there were a bunch of dudes in his apartment. I saw a lot of little glass bowls all around the kitchen and a couple more on the kitchen table. I then realized that all the dudes were holding fistfuls of money and that the bowls were filled with beta fish. They were betting on fish fights.

NorDeast , wikimedia.commons Report

Final score:
105points
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#22

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Food delivery to strip clubs - topless women paying in ones. Delivery to a gay bar that may or may not have been a strip club, and the guy pulled up his pants halfway and, while standing on the bar, pulled crumpled ones out of his underwear to pay me. I wish dancers there would have ordered more often, that guy was very professional (besides unfolding his underwear money) and tipped great.

happy555cat , eggbank Report

Final score:
104points
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#23

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Pizza Delivery in college in Central PA (relevant background information: I'm Korean):

Arrived at the front door of an older couple's house with a large pie in hand. When I rang the doorbell, the woman came out and I said, "I have your delivery." She looks at me puzzingly and says, "We didn't order no chinese food." Of course, I had to explain that I was just the delivery guy and I had their large pizza in hand.

hanboy , Mike Jones Report

Final score:
96points
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#24

We were having a party, got drunk and what not and decided it was a good idea to order a bunch of pizza. Delivery guy came and we thought we should tip him in beer. He hung out for a while drank a beer then went back to work. Fast forward 30 min. He returns to the party. Seems when he got back to work his boss found out he had been drinking, so he got fired.
Now we have a unemployed delivery guy who just got fired crying at our party.

Eskador Report

Final score:
93points
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#25

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Not really weird but funny:

My friend was a delivery guy for a Chinese food restaurant. He drove out to the countryside (Oklahoma) and arrived at the house. The house was dimly lit and it was hard to see so he was navigating his way up to the porch very tenderly. All of a sudden, he felt a spray on his side.

Immediately afterwards, he was overwhelmed with a noxious odor. A skunk had sprayed him. He knocked on the door and the owner answered him. The owner said "you got the wrong house, it's the next one over." Needless to say, after arriving at the right house, the family did not want skunky Chinese food.

silvergrove , Bryan Padron Report

Final score:
85points
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#26

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I'll try to keep this one short.

I was a Medical Cannabis Delivery Driver in San Francisco for about two years. The company I worked for was and still is one of the most professional dispensaries in the business and at no point did I feel like a drug dealer. That aside, we apparently stepped on some people's toes by offering the cheapest priced, highest quality cannabis directly to your door (in under an hour or $10 off). So I am given a rather unfavorable route through Hunter's Point, which if you haven't heard is the lil Ghetto by the Bay south of the city. I had never been to this particular patient before, which was a concern but the dispatchers assured me it was just a nice old black woman and not to worry.

So I should probably mention at this point that our company operates a fleet of 7-8 Smart Cars for delivering and they make parking an absolute breeze. Upon arriving at the address, I park the little doober as near to the building as possible, which happens to be on a rather steep hill, one you might expect to park on in San Francisco. I get out of the car and make my way to the patient's apartment, taking little notice of the group of homies hanging up the street, who had watched me pull up.

I get to the door and knock and indeed, a nice older woman greets me with a smile. Now most people like to chat about all sorts of things when getting cannabis delivered to their house, but sometimes it gets a little over the top. People will invite you in to their home, sit you down, offer you water, soda, cookies, one guy would give us blow-pops by the handful (no homo... well maybe). That was all well and good but after 5-10 minutes, it is about time to get to the next patient. This woman not only decided to start telling me her life story but she is doing so while lazily searching for her credit card, which gets declined and she has to find another one, to which she forgets the PIN and then the Machine starts acting up because there's no damn signal way out in Hunter's Point and ugh... So finally she pays with cash or something and then I leave to get on to the next patient. As soon as I step out the door I look up toward my lil smart car, just in time to see the group of homies from up the street [flip it the f**k over](http://i.imgur.com/CggSR.jpg) with no thanks to the hill, and then just scatter. [The m***********s.](http://i.imgur.com/3vUqy.jpg)

So I immediately pull out my phone and call my boss to inform him I am now stranded in Hunter's Point and that the next 3 patients' deliveries will need to go out with another driver. He manages to get there in under 30 minutes in another smart car with a tow truck behind him. They had to try to roll it again, which smashed the other side window as it turned sideways and then back up on it's lil smart wheels, all the while laughing about it. Though it was a bit humorous in retrospect. But my boss wasn't stoked. The police came by and took a report and then I hopped in the trunk of the rescue smart car and it was back to base.

For those of you who are interested in the name of the Medical Cannabis Dispensary, my boss asked me not to reveal the name but if you have used our service in the past, you know who we are.

**TL;DR Delivered medical cannabis to the ghetto, upset local dealers flipped my car.**

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#27

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I delivered pizzas, and the shop I worked at had a lot of 'regulars', as it was a small town and it was one of two shops.

Anyway, I used to deliver to this one divorced lady's house every week, and she used to flash me 'by accident' all the time. She used to wear sweatshirts with really loose necks (this was the early '90s) and always bend over in front of me, to the point where even a naive dope like me figured out it was no accident.

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Helen X
Helen X
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Liam I’m afraid you need to explain that it is joke……

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Just Jeff
Just Jeff
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Helen I'm afraid you need to use the 'reply' button

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#28

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job When i was working as a pizza delivery boy a few years ago, a fat customer opens up the door wearing nothing but his boxers. The creepiest thing was that they were the same exact pair of boxers I was wearing at that very moment.

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#29

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I used to work as delivery boy for a high-end Grocery store in Denmark called Irma. The vast majority of our deliveries were to pensioners and other people who would have problems shopping for groceries themselves (there was this one massively fat dude who got two full cases of coke delivered each weak - which amounts to about 32 litres. Carrying those up the stairs to his fourth floor apartment was a pain). Some of them would get shocking amounts of alcohol delivered each week. We're speaking 60+ beers, 3-4 bottles of assorted liquour etc.

By far the worst place to deliver, however, was the apartment of this old lady. She usually got food and inordinate amounts of cleaning supplies delivered. She would hold long speeches about how the liquid products were all watered down, so she only wanted the powdered stuff so she could mix it up herself. And she was racist as f**k. Often, she would ask if I'd seen any of "those damn perkere" (perkere is a derogatory slang term for people of arab descent - a derivative of the Danish word for Pakistani), and would talk about how I ought to stay away and watch out for them. She would tell me about how they'd be nice at first, but were very prone to intrigue and would ruin my life. After I'd delivered to her for a while, she eventually sort of revealed the reason she hated immigrants so much. Apparently, an Iranian guy had driven a wedge between her and her son, and she rarely got to see him. A friend of mine who also delivered groceries to her sometimes told me that she'd once started crying while talking about her son, so it's a prety sad story all in all.

For a long time I felt dirty for not arguing with her, but I needed the job, and I didn't trust my boss to treat me fairly if I got a customer complaint. I'm still not sure if I should have said something.

SoftlyAdverse , Polina Tankilevitch Report

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#30

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job i delivered pizza for like 6 months many years ago. I had 2 or 3 women answer the door topless. They were always like 40+ though.

cerialthriller , Rowan Freeman Report

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#31

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job I delivered pizza in High School. One night, I had a delivery and it ended up being a couple of teenage stoners. They didn't have bills when I arrived so instead they gave me a five gallon jug about half full of change. They told me they were going to count out the amount before I arrived but forgot to. I took it back with me and counted the silver. If I remember right, the pizza was around $14.00, and the amount I was given in change was around 105.00 not counting the pennies. I was allowed to keep all of it besides the money owed for the pizza. Damn jug was heavy.

A lady ordered a pizza and I went to deliver it. I arrived at her house ( kind of secluded ) and I kept ringing the doorbell and knocking but no one answered. As I was headed back to my truck, I heard a noise coming from the back yard so I decided to go see if she was back there and was not able to hear the door. As I walked around the back of the house, there she was pointing a gun strait at my face. I froze, and it took her a second for her to realize that I was delivering the pizza. She apologized and said that her ex-husband called drunk and told her he was coming to get her. I quickly left after she paid me.

Edit: Also, just a personal note. If you have been a pizza delivery person, you know the s**t they go through and tip the drivers well ( at least I do ). I usually tip no less than 5 bucks. I tipped more when I lived in the 4th story of an apartment building.

It absolutely has it's highs and lows. I was once flashed by a cute woman because she didnt have any extra money for a tip, and the lows can be very dangerous, getting robbed or getting a gun pointed at your face. Also, most of your tip money goes to gas. I had a truck back then but gas was not but .90 when I worked as a pizza delivery guy.

MileHighElement , Josh Appel Report

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#32

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job Went to this guy's house, and the door was open with the screen door in front of it. Rang the door bell like three times, no answer. Called twice, and I could hear the phone ringing in this guy's house (the phone was actually on a table that I could see).

So I call a third time and this big fat pimply white guy comes down the stairs in nothing but a leopard print thong to pick up the phone.


'Hello?'


'Hello, this is the pizza delivery guy... I'm at your front door.'


He just turned his head and saw me looking at him, dropped the phone, and ran upstairs. I got a nice tip.

[deleted] , Roy Javier Report

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#33

"I Once Delivered Pizza To A Funeral": 30 Delivery Drivers Share Their Weirdest And Most Awkward Stories From The Job When I was about 20, I worked for a waterbed store and did delivery and setup. One day we delivered a large, expensive oak bed complete with a sort of wall unit to an older, but nice home.

The homeowner showed us the bedroom and where to setup this beast of a bedroom set, so we did. We we all finished and the mattress was about half full of water when the homeowner came in in a panic asking if we could move it for a minute. If have ever moved a waterbed you know what a pain in the a*s it is. We told him that wasn't possible without a lot of work so he offered to make it worth our while.

Basically, we had the set the bed up over an old, unused floor grate for the original furnace. (The house apparently had since put in a central air unit or something). We take down the bed and the guy pops open the grate and pulls something like 2 kilos of coke out of the grate which he had been using as his stash hole.

He gave us each about $300 hush money and offered us a ziplock bag full of coke not to say anything. We put the bed back together, filled it and went on our way.

TL;DR - Customer had 2 kilos of coke in an old A/C grate.

matbiskit , Max Vakhtbovych Report

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#34

I used to deliver frozen yogurt. I know it's odd. Chicago!

I delivered to an orgy once. Naked girl, a couple a naked guys... Not as cool as you might think. Guy in a robe answered the door, but everyone else was clearly visible.

Also had a guy answer his door in leather underwear, wearing leather gloves. I stupidly took another delivery to him and he was wearing those big rubber gloves, a open robe, and little tight underwear.

Big tips...

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#35

I used to deliver pizzas back in the day. So it's Friday night and we get a call from some chicks looking to get f****d over by some of our overpriced pizza. I get to the house and sixteen hot chicks open the door not wearing anything that made me think they were under eighteen. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I still remember being so hard up for a date back then. I was super nervous. Before I could hand over the boxes one of them dives for my package of hot peppers and Parmesan cheese I had hanging out of my left side pocket. I almost came in my parachute pants that had closed pockets and held the condiments better, but I'm glad I decided to wear regular jeans. They stripped my hands of the pizza boxes soon afterwards then pulled me inside of the house. Then they whipped out their jugs of beer and started dancing around me. Suddenly one of them pulled out a $100 bill. I had to confess I blew my wad of change earlier that night and I couldn't break that. So they decided I could earn my tip if I showed them my Rod Serling impression. I guess they were Twilight Zone fans. It worked. They gave me the $100 and that was that.

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