Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app

Continue in app Continue in browser

54Kviews

134 Death Puns That Might Tickle Your Fancy

ADVERTISEMENT

What is dead shall never die, and since a written word was never alive, then that means it has the potential to live forever. And you know what kind of written word might just have the best aging potential? Yes, you are absolutely right, for it is puns! But what if those clever puns are about death? For sure, it’s a double whammy of eternal living! So, here we are with our list that has no expiration date, being full of only the best death puns.

Surely, death puns, as a topic, might sound quite grim, but trust us that fun always has a way to sneak right in, even in inherently morbid topics. After all, we are all going to die, so why not meet the scythe with a smile and greet it with a silly pun. That might just up your life expectancy; who knows.

But, that’s probably enough to ponder, so let’s just go and wonder at our collection of the best dark puns that we’ve sourced from all over the internet. And you won’t need to scroll down six feet under to find them, for they are just about six pixels down. The commodity! Once you are there, do not forget to vote for the best death jokes, and, uhm, share this article with your friends?

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

At the boss’ funeral, a disgruntled employee kneeled next to the coffin and whispered, “Who’s thinking outside the box now, Gary?”

52points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

Yeah, Gary... enjoy that box :D

14points

View more comments

RELATED:

#2

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

43points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

I can relate... to this spelling of it, anyway

6points

#3

Pun enters a room and kills 10 people. Pun in, ten dead.

39points

The Cute Cat 2 years ago

Lol.. This dad joke is very smooth

5points

View more comments

#4

My music partner died while we were writing a new song. I guess he's now decomposing.

30points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

Probably a 1 hit wonder

5points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#5

Autopsies are a dying practice.

27points

Scp_duck 2 years ago

yes. a dying practice indeed

3points

#6

A will is a dead giveaway.

27points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

Small chuckle

4points

View more comments

ADVERTISEMENT

#7

The only thing worse than “checking in” at a funeral is tagging the person in the coffin.

27points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

Tag your it.

1point

View more comments

#8

Never challenge Death to a pillow fight! Unless you are ready to handle the reaper cushions.

24points

James Hoff 1 month ago

Lol

0points

View more comments

ADVERTISEMENT

#9

What’s a corpse’s favorite currency? Cryptocurrency.

22points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

Especially since they've been dying lately

6points

View more comments

#10

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. The details are sketchy.

22points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

That's why Calvin and Hobbs disappeared. I miss them.

4points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#11

Why do ghosts ride the elevator? To lift their spirits.

21points

#12

Corpses aren’t very funny—they’re dead serious.

21points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

What about weekend at Bernie's. He looked like he was having a lot of fun for a corpse.

10points

View More Replies...

View more comments

ADVERTISEMENT

#13

The mortician still takes classes, wanting to further her dead-ucation.

19points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

I hear they like to play dress up a lot.

1point

#14

Being a funeral director is a dying profession.

18points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

And not much in the way of creativity, either (thinking outside the box LOL)

1point

View More Replies...

View more comments

#15

The Bourbonic Plague is probably the most likely Black Death version that would hit any person with alcoholic abuse.

17points

Tracy Lymn 2 years ago

Yes very poos- I mean did they spell it wrong on purpose just to do the joke or do they really think that is how you spell bubonic? It really just doesn't work. Also making a joke out of alcoholism is wrong

2points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#16

Let’s put the fun back in funeral.

16points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

Raise the roof!!!

1point

View More Replies...

View more comments

#17

Thanks to our funeral director for being the last person to let us down.

16points

Injun Joe 2 years ago

More like the city big heads here. Just to make sure they let me down one last time.

0points

#18

As an orchard grower, he enjoyed a fruitful life.

16points

Mary Rose Kent 2 years ago

And once that was done, he shriveled up like a prune

2points

ADVERTISEMENT

#19

What does a liar do after he dies? He lies still!

16points

#20

The story was about a funeral, but the plot had holes in it.

15points

Mary Rose Kent 2 years ago

Isn’t that always the way…

0points

#21

I was driving along Cemetery Road when I came upon a Dead End sign.

15points

Party Poison 2 years ago

First thing I saw here was three song titles. Cemetery Drive, Dead and The End.

2points

View more comments

#22

I made a grave mistake. But I was able to dig myself out of it.

15points

#23

The Grim Reaper and I used to share sweeping duties. I had a brush with Death.

15points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

I wonder if they used a Swiffer Wet Jet.

0points

#24

Cremation is my last hope for a smoking body.

14points

Vanessa Richardson 2 years ago

The next time I’m opening up to somebody, it’ll be my autopsy.

2points

View more comments

ADVERTISEMENT

#25

The crematorium has to urn our business.

13points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

It's a red hot market!

4points

#26

When two zombies kissed, it was the kiss of death.

13points

ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago

Kiss of undead, actually

2points

View more comments

#27

A photographer got lost in a snowstorm and died from overexposure to the elements.

13points

Scott Crowell 2 years ago

It was a Kodak moment to remember.

2points

#28

It remains to be seen if it's an open casket.

13points

#29

He was dying to participate in a green funeral, he just didn't realize it would be his.

13points

#30

Walking through the cemetery at night can put you in grave danger.

13points

Party Poison 2 years ago

This night walk the dead in a solitary style. (Sorry, couldn't resist myself with MCR being on tour again, and me seeing them in two weeks for the first time. I'll stop now.)

4points

View More Replies...

View more comments

ADVERTISEMENT

#31

The sign at the cemetery states, "Do Not Pass."

13points

#32

A professional skier will never die. They just go downhill.

13points

Party Poison 2 years ago

But if we sing these words we'll never die!

1point

View More Replies...

View more comments

#33

What do you call a coffee shop that used to be funeral directors? A decoffinated cafe!

13points

#34

What’s it called when you tickle a man to death by accident? Manslaughter!

13points

#35

He was dying to get into the funeral business.

11points

#36

What do you call a funeral ship? A sea hearse.

11points

ADVERTISEMENT

#37

Speaking badly of the dead is a grave mistake.

11points

#38

What are ghosts’ favorite streets? Dead ends.

11points

#39

Gravediggers often have trouble with coughin'.

11points

#40

He always had grave doubts about cemeteries.

11points

#41

How did Superman’s enemies do him in? They put him in his crypt tonite!

11points

#42

Let’s party like a mortician and grab a cold one.

10points

ADVERTISEMENT

#43

Get well soon because headstones are expensive!

9points

#44

My skeleton puns are very humerus.

9points

#45

Exhuming a corpse is very undignified behavior.

9points

#46

At my funeral, I want a lot of flowers. It’s on my bouquet list.

9points

#47

Auctioning a corpse? Now that’s morbid!

9points

#48

The news reporter's demise was an associated death.

9points

ADVERTISEMENT

#49

I guess she finally urned her place in the family.

9points

#50

Dad always thought the last thing he needed was a burial plot. He was right.

9points

#51

The grave digger's name was, ironically, Doug Grave.

9points

#52

What do you call a death sentence gone wrong? Good concept, bad execution!

9points

#53

This funeral is a grave affair.

8points

#54

My autocorrect just died, rest in piece.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#55

The urn filled with her ashes confirmed she was smokin' hot.

8points

#56

I suspected he was sick, and it was a dead giveaway when he signed his will.

8points

#57

He used to ring the church bell, now he's a dead ringer.

8points

#58

The priest perished in the church fire.

8points

#59

Planning his funeral was a big undertaking.

8points

#60

I got lost going to a funeral and went straight through the intersection, forgetting to take the last right.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#61

I thought the viewing was last night, but when I got there, the place was dead.

8points

#62

I'm dying to hear back about my resume with the funeral home.

8points

#63

It was a grave mistake when Mr. Jones was buried alive.

8points

#64

Twin monks who ring the church bells have died. They are now dead ringers.

8points

#65

Today I passed my exams to be a funeral director! Shame it’s a dying trade.

8points

#66

I’m not a mourning person, so we need to schedule the funeral for the afternoon.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#67

The grave digger spent many hours practicing his craft because he was so dead-icated.

8points

#68

Anyone buried in a cemetery becomes a new dead-dition to the graveyard club.

8points

#69

She did this for her own dead-ification.

8points

#70

What kind of flowers were planted in the Swiss cemetery? Dead-elweiss.

8points

#71

In case you make any haste on decapitation, you will be getting a head of your own.

8points

#72

There are lots of old individuals in the church because they are all packing for the final.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#73

His humor was a little dark. His humor was too GRAVE for me. Now it's just TOMB much.

XxRoguePhoenixX Report

8points

#74

Why are there so many old people in Church? They’re cramming for the final!

8points

#75

Confucius says men drunk in the cemetery make grave mistakes.

8points

#76

After seeing an ad for burial plots, I thought this was the last thing I needed.

7points

#77

Did you hear the news about the graveyard? There are people dying to get in there.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#78

What’s the difference between a corpse and a shirt? One’s a casualty and the other is a casual tee.

7points

#79

Even though your partner died, they’ll always be your boo.

7points

#80

Getting to see the other side takes spirit.

7points

#81

She discovered the young widow has mourning sickness.

7points

#82

The cheap casket was a dead giveaway that I won it at a raffle.

7points

#83

When I was at the funeral home, I saw a man coughin'.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#84

I just read the obituary for Hesra Maines.

7points

#85

Funeral prices have skyrocketed due to the cost of living.

7points

#86

The funeral hairstylist had a real brush with death.

7points

#87

I have grave reservations about buying a funeral plot.

7points

#88

When I walked through the cemetery, I came upon a grave robin.

7points

#89

Sherlock Holmes solved the case of the missing corpse using dead-uction.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#90

The funeral home’s tax accountant is great a finding tax dead-uctions.

7points

#91

It’s partially dead and partially undead. I loved the die-chotomy.

7points

#92

It is a serious mistake to speak badly of the people who have died.

7points

#93

A mortician’s job will be to make you feel as though you are dead gorgeous.

7points

#94

While walking into the funeral house the ghoul asked whether your corpse is tender.

7points

#95

Some animals consider owls to be symbols of death? Especially mice!

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#96

Dead batteries - free of charge.

7points

#97

What did the ghoul say when he walked into the funeral home? Is your corpse tender here?

6points

#98

If you rush a decapitation, you’ll get a head of yourself.

6points

#99

Is Dr. Jack Kevorkian really a dieabetic?

6points

#100

If you live each day as though it were your last, then one fated day it will be.

6points

#101

I sent in my resume to the funeral home since I'm hoping to get in on the ground level.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#102

The funeral dress she wore was a graveyard shift.

6points

#103

A Grave digger always has one foot in the grave.

6points

#104

It was a grave error when the man was buried in the wrong plot.

6points

#105

I came across an advertisement for burial plots, and it occurred to me that it was the last thing I needed.

6points

#106

The Underworld Newspaper contained too many typos, so they had to hire a new deaditor.

6points

#107

Have you heard the news regarding the graybeard? You will come across individuals who are dying to enter there.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#108

Let us party just like a mortician and get hold of a cold one.

6points

#109

Want to contact the spirit of a dead Italian? Use a Luigi board.

6points

#110

A Japanese man once tried to fake his own death. His family didn't bereave him.

6points

#111

I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death. The police are treating it as a hummuside.

6points

#112

What happens when you listen to a Death song 1,000 times? It becomes a Megadeth song.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#113

She always was known for her killer puns.

5points

#114

Corpses are lived about being dead.

5points

#115

Where are dead computer hackers buried? In decrypt.

5points

#116

Is it possible to be bored to death? That all depends on the drill.

5points

#117

I love cryptic humor.

5points

#118

What would the victim of plague say when his or her skin turned black? “I feel like I have dyed a little bit inside.

3points

ADVERTISEMENT

#119

The job that you die for often comes with a killer boss.

3points

#120

What's your favorite movie about dead people? The Departed.

3points

#121

“Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?” “All my autopsies are performed on dead people!”

3points

#122

Do you hear about the man who died skydiving? He was having a lot of fun and believed that deploying the parachute could be a total drag.

2points

#123

The family of chemists would barium them when they die.

2points

ADVERTISEMENT

#124

A sign at the cemetery reads: “Do not pass, anyone who violates would face a grave charge.”

2points

#125

My father expired when we were not able to remember his blood type. While dying, he insisted us to “be positive” although it is quite hard for us to be without him.

2points

#126

What do you call a dead author? A ghostwriter.

2points

#127

What does a dead person do to lose weight? He goes on a DIE-et!

2points

#128

I took my grandma to one of those fish spas where the fish eat all your dead skin. So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.

2points

ADVERTISEMENT

#129

A man is found dead in the desert. The cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house. "Ma'am you son dried".

2points

#130

I think the front of my foot has gone dead-asleep. Now they are a bunch of coma-toes.

2points

#131

At the funeral of my friend, I tried to think of a pun to commemorate him. However, I decided not to do it because that could be a grave mistake.

1point

#132

All of us want to live life to the fullest. Thus, do not be afraid when it is time for the death’s turn.

1point

#133

Forming a cul-de-sac could be a relatively dead-end job.

1point

ADVERTISEMENT

#134

Thousands of people die from vacuum-related accidents each year. That really sucks!

1point

Miglė

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

Gunn Smoke 2 years ago

I worked at a hospital with a morgue, it was locked with a "DEAD BOLT".

0points

Gunn Smoke 2 years ago

I worked at a hospital with a morgue, it was locked with a "DEAD BOLT".

0points

You May Like

This Collection Of ‘Play With Words’ Jokes Will Tickle Your Funny Bone

Saimonas Lukošius

Knock-Knock Yourself Out With These Hilarious, Punny Jokes

Akvile Petraityte 🇺🇦

Whatever Your Name Is, We Have Collected Name Jokes For Everyone

Ula Rukaite

Back to Homepage

More about Funny

Related on Bored Panda

Related on Bored Panda

Trending on Bored Panda

Also on Bored Panda